Social Trolls & An Email Special Song

Wolf & Owl with Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis

In this special email episode, Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis react to various listener submissions ranging from fan-made music to persona

Key takeaways

• A listener named Vern produced a song using audio from the hosts' previous podcast, 'Do We Need a Summer Body'.
• The hosts discuss the concept of 'tummy sticks', a game involving lollipop sticks and belly buttons.

Main topics

• Listener-made music
• Tummy sticks

Notable quotes

Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

Conclusion

The episode provides a mix of absurd comedy and genuine interpersonal

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:03) Yo, yo, what you Speaker 2 (0:04) want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's Speaker 1 (0:09) preferred. Speaker 2 (0:10) Just Speaker 1 (0:10) kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Speaker 2 (0:14) What? Yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (0:20) Welcome to the Wolf and Al email special. It's Speaker 1 (0:23) the Speaker 2 (0:23) Wolf and Al email special. Wolfalpod.gmail.com if you'd like your email to potentially be read out on the podcast. Queries, questions, or just stories. We're open to it all. Speaker 1 (0:33) Actually, we haven't had a really good story for a while. Speaker 2 (0:35) No, we haven't. We had Speaker 1 (0:35) some really great stories back in the day. Speaker 2 (0:37) Yeah. That's when they made an effort, isn't it? Am I right? Okay, should we do Speaker 1 (0:43) our first one? Yes, let's do it. Shall we? You go. I think you go first. Okay. Speaker 2 (0:47) All right, boys, it's me again, Vern. I threatened I would if you did some more, so I'm afraid I'm after your intro from your Do We Need a Summer Body podcast. I was once again compelled to turn your amazing songwriting skills into a track. This time it's not AI. It was taken from your actual audio, so your vocals and melody. Once again, it's only short. Hope you enjoy. Keep up the banter and bollocks. Cheers, Vern. Well, thank you for this. By the way, Vern, Speaker 1 (1:13) love the nickname. I Speaker 2 (1:15) do, wow. Email special song. Welcome Speaker 1 (1:20) to Speaker 2 (1:23) Mail Special. We do list the questions and the queries. And we try to help out if we can. I Speaker 1 (1:33) think Nathan got the answer. I'm David's enrolation Speaker 2 (1:47) to a wolf and owl for you. Pull Speaker 1 (1:54) your trousers up. This is unbelievable. Speaker 1 (2:03) Oh my God. That is Vern. Wow, Vern. What Speaker 2 (2:07) an absolute legend. That is a Speaker 1 (2:09) legend. That is sick. That's the legendary stuff. Vern's killed it there. Oh my God. Speaker 2 (2:13) I can't believe how good that is. Speaker 1 (2:15) Crushed it. Speaker 2 (2:22) Vern, thank you so much, man. Holy shit. That was great. That's actually a banger. Yeah. Isn't it? We could Speaker 1 (2:28) release that. Speaker 2 (2:29) We could, yeah. We'd have to give Vern some sort of... I mean, he put the whole thing together. Speaker 1 (2:33) We'd have to make it a bit longer as well. How long does your... Speaker 2 (2:37) I think Speaker 1 (2:37) you just Speaker 2 (2:37) put it out as it is. Speaker 1 (2:38) Yeah, no, but how long does the track have to be to enter the charts? Speaker 2 (2:41) Oh, that's a good question. I don't think... Didn't that chicken thing from Minecraft get into the charts? That's only like a minute long. Yeah, but Speaker 1 (2:49) that's less than a minute, I'm guessing. Speaker 2 (2:51) Steve's Lava Chicken? Yeah. Speaker 1 (2:54) Wasn't there a fish song recently? Speaker 2 (2:56) It's about one pound fish? Yeah. Yeah, that's about 15 years ago, I think. Speaker 2 (3:04) Have they booked you for Mock the Week yet? Speaker 1 (3:06) No, I've never been booked. Speaker 2 (3:08) They never wanted me on it. That was a long time ago, the fish. He's about one pound fish. Yeah, Speaker 1 (3:13) yeah, Speaker 2 (3:13) yeah. Very, very cheap, that one. Speaker 1 (3:15) Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about Wakey Wines? What's happened to him? Speaker 2 (3:19) Well, Prime went down the toilet an hour. I don't think he's got the same. Is Speaker 1 (3:23) Prime gone now? That's it. It's not gone, but you're not paying. You were living off it for a while. You were living on that Prime life because you had a big... Garage full of it, right? I Speaker 2 (3:31) didn't have a garage Speaker 1 (3:32) full Speaker 2 (3:32) of Speaker 1 (3:32) it, but they were sending it to me. Thank you so much, Vern. Vern is the kind of name, if you were to give Vern a project, he'd come away and do it well. Just name-wise. If you walked in and you were like, you had an operation to do, and you only knew people by name, Speaker 2 (3:49) would Speaker 1 (3:49) Vern be someone I'd look to? Yeah, I'll take Vern. Speaker 2 (3:52) Yeah, I guess so. Speaker 1 (3:53) Yeah. What other names are in the mix? Ian, Kevin, Bruce. So Speaker 2 (3:59) you've got a choice between Vern, Ian, Kevin and Bruce. Okay. Your pool of go-to names, by the way. All right, do you want to do the next one? Speaker 1 (4:08) Who do you go with, Vern, though, right? Speaker 2 (4:09) Out of those, yeah, I would do, yeah. All other things being equal. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Speaker 2 (4:17) Dear Wolf, Owl, Swan and the Coyote, we are the parents of two boys, the Capybara, aged 13, and the golden-haired tamarin, aged 10, and all four of us love the pod. We've recently returned from a family holiday to Tagazout in Morocco. Our apartment was in the hills with Wi-Fi that hardly worked. The Capybara and the golden-haired tamarin decided that role-plays would be used for our evening entertainment. For 13 nights, the boys re-enacted the Roskempen Josh Riddick... Purge roleplay from the 27th of July episode. The only challenge we had as parents was trying to explain what Tommy Six is. Speaker 2 (4:57) Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Yours truly, The Elk. 13 nights in a row of doing... Speaker 1 (5:03) That's incredible. That's a longish one. I was a Speaker 2 (5:06) bit nervous when the podcast team decided to clip that up and put it on social. I was Speaker 1 (5:11) ecstatic. Speaker 2 (5:14) Because Ross and Josh are going to see that. Yeah, Speaker 1 (5:17) Josh is my friend. I was worried about Josh getting offended slightly. And Ross you hate. I don't hate him. I just think... I've said my view. Yeah, no, I know. Let's not get into it Speaker 2 (5:29) again. You've already compromised me on the trait as enough as it is. Tummy sticks. How do you explain that to a 10 and 13 year old? It's fully erect penises and you sort of use them in a sword fight. Speaker 1 (5:41) Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (5:43) Yeah. Does that help? Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:47) Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:47) yeah, yeah, that's pretty Speaker 1 (5:49) much it. Speaker 2 (5:50) Yeah Is there is there um Is there a different way of explaining tummy sticks? I Speaker 1 (5:55) think no, I mean that is what tummy sticks is Yeah, I think there's a world where you could you could say that I mean it tummy sticks is you could put a lollipop stick in your belly button and do that Speaker 2 (6:05) Yeah, sure. Okay, so let's Tommy sticks Have you played Tummy Speaker 1 (6:10) Sticks? Speaker 2 (6:10) Capybara and Golden Head Tamarin. Tummy Sticks is where you stick a lollipop stick into your belly button and you have a little sword fight. Well, I Speaker 1 (6:18) mean, I'm guessing if you listen to the show, you've just heard Romesh's. Oh, yeah, that's true. He went straight in with the actual explanation. Sorry. Yeah. And Romesh, by the way, an incredible Tummy Stick swordsman. I was actually West Sussex Tummy Sticks champion Speaker 2 (6:32) four years Speaker 1 (6:34) running. Speaker 1 (6:36) Actually, I would say in Ross Kemp's defence, he would be insane at tummy sticks. To have that level of aggression. If Speaker 2 (6:44) it Speaker 1 (6:44) was actually Speaker 2 (6:44) a tummy stick, though, do Speaker 1 (6:46) you Speaker 2 (6:46) know what I mean? Yeah, Speaker 1 (6:47) that would be like a lollipop stick. Yeah, Speaker 2 (6:49) but what I'm saying is... Do you ever play poo sticks? Where you throw some sticks in a river? Yeah. Do I ever play that game? Speaker 1 (6:55) When you see a river and a bridge, don't you get excited? Speaker 2 (7:00) and go oh fucking Speaker 1 (7:01) poo sticks grace still like well grace still Speaker 2 (7:05) how old is grace four and a half right okay so fucking hell when's she gonna grow out of that do Speaker 1 (7:11) you not play with the boys if you if you're on a family walk Break off a couple of branches of a tree. I'm breaking Speaker 2 (7:17) off something during a walk. Speaker 1 (7:19) You don't break off a couple of branches if I'm in. Speaker 2 (7:22) Yeah, we probably have done that. It's great, man. Yeah, Speaker 1 (7:25) it's Speaker 2 (7:25) great. All right. Well, look, first of all, what I would say is I'm surprised that children of that age are listening. Speaker 1 (7:31) Yeah, I am slightly. Well, it actually makes you feel bad your boys aren't listening. Speaker 2 (7:35) Well, they're not listening because they've got no interest. You know what would be amazing? Speaker 1 (7:37) Getting Alex and Charlie to act out the Josh and Ross Kemp thing. Speaker 2 (7:41) Which finishes with tummy sticks. No. What's wrong with you? Alex Speaker 1 (7:47) would obviously be Ross. Right. Charlie would be doing amazing, Josh. Yeah. I think he probably would, actually. Yeah. Hi, you sexy bitches. Oh, hello. I've just returned from a semi-relaxing holiday in Greece and stayed at a small adults only... boutique hotel can you whistle no my partner and i are both teachers so we look for a quiet adults only hotel as this is our one week away in the sun before we get ready for another year of teaching romesh i'm sure you remember what it was like preparing for another september um anyone who's there Speaker 1 (8:27) Sorry. There was this one guest. Anywho, I think that's supposed to Speaker 2 (8:32) say. Speaker 1 (8:32) Anywho, there was this one guest. Let's call him the graying chimpanzee who insisted on playing music through his speaker around the pool. Oh, God. He would play, tapping his feet to the music with no care for any other guests. I'd say he was probably mid-50s and thought he was the life and soul of the hotel. My question is, do you think it would be acceptable to launch a speaker into the pool and tell this grown man he is a selfish **** Speaker 2 (9:00) who Speaker 1 (9:02) should know better? Of course, I didn't do this, but I dreamed about it every day. How would you have dealt with the situation? And do you think it's acceptable for adults to play music around a pool when no one else wants to hear it? Yours, the annoyed anaconda. Yeah, a speaker around a pool is a no-no, right? That's a... Speaker 2 (9:19) Yeah, I think it probably is. I... I'm slightly, I have been known to take a speaker to the beach in the past. Right. But in my defence. Beach is slightly different. But in my defence, I play, I really am careful with the volume. Because, you know when you get a couple of like lounges or whatever, or you put towels down. Yeah. And you're sort of away from other people. I would go so far as to walk away from where we are just to see if it can still be... You know what I mean? Yeah. We jest, but you're a very Speaker 1 (9:49) respectful guy. I Speaker 2 (9:50) try to be. So I Speaker 1 (9:51) would hate to think that our music is bleeding into... Also, by the way, you're a DJ. So you have exemplary music taste. I think Speaker 2 (9:59) around the pool loud is a problem, actually. I actually think... I don't think you can launch it into the pool. I think after a while you can. Speaker 1 (10:07) So how many days? I