Could Tom Beat 100 8-Year-Olds?

Wolf & Owl with Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis

In this listener-driven episode, Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis tackle a wedding guest list dilemma involving intrusive parents and expens

Key takeaways

• A listener is struggling with whether to honor their parents' request to invite 18 extra guests to a wedding being funded by in-laws.
• The hosts debate if they are more like Great Danes or Basset Hounds based on their personalities.

Main topics

• Wedding guest list etiquette
• Dog breed personality comparisons

Notable quotes

Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a man and a dog.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a comedic exploration of absurd hypotheticals an

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:03) Yo, yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. Speaker 1 (0:10) Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Speaker 2 (0:14) Bonjour, friends. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl. It's the email special to put in your head. Speaker 1 (0:22) If you've got a dilemma, come right over. We're your friends and we're going to help you out, Emma. Emma? Yeah, dilemma. Oh, I see. Right, okay. Emma, Emma, Speaker 2 (0:33) help with your Speaker 1 (0:35) dilemma. Speaker 2 (0:36) Emma, Emma, Speaker 1 (0:38) well for now. A lovely young lady who went up to me the other day in the street and said that we'd helped her out. She was with some friends and she said, I sent an email in and it was anonymous. I just wanted to say that your Romesh gave me some lovely advice. Oh, that's nice. And I said, which advice was it? And she said, I'd rather not say. But she said, just thank you. Oh, that's very sweet. Speaker 2 (1:01) Okay. Shall I do the first one? You do the first one. Dear Wolf. I've Speaker 1 (1:05) generally got bogey Speaker 2 (1:06) worry now. No, you're fine. Thanks for showing me in such detail. Dear Wolf, Owl and Sweet Sweet Coyote, long-time listener, first-time emailer, such a big fan of the pod. Everyone must think I'm a lunatic laughing out loud while struggling through my midweek run. Never fails to get me through it, though. I know you get a lot of emails about weddings, but I thought I would add to the list in the hope that you can help me out with my current nuptials-based predicament. Sorry, let me say that again. Help me out with my current nuptials-based predicament. There you go. I got engaged to my partner five years earlier this year during a once-in-a-lifetime trip to New Zealand. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with her. Speaker 1 (1:44) That's nice. Speaker 2 (1:46) When we returned to the UK, we started planning the wedding. I had imagined it would be a small affair, but we were incredibly fortunate that my partner's parents offered to pay for it, having saved for years for their only daughter's wedding. As a result, the guest list has grown considerably. In original planning, my partner and I wanted to keep it to our family and friends, those that we know will be part of our life going forward. Now that it has grown, my parents have become involved and they have given me a list of 18 friends they want invited to the wedding. My future in-laws covering the cost. I'm unsure what to do. I get on really well with my parents, but will find it difficult to push back on this. At the same time, it seems unreasonable to ask my in-laws to cover two tables worth of people me and my partner aren't that close with. I'll be paying for a few things like a band photographer and videographer, so I cannot afford to cover my parents' guests. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And of course, should I get this problem sorted, you would both be invited to the wedding. There you go. Yeah, it's a proper invite. Looks like it's only 16 of your parents' friends coming. I would love to see the wolf and I'll get some kilts on and try a few... Kaylee dances. Likely Ron will say no. Well guessed. But Tom, grab the coyotes, you're plus one, and what a night it'll be. Fucking hell, he's pushed me Speaker 1 (2:52) right out, straight off the bat. I think John's got a lot of it, because John's so eager for stuff. John's got a very... Yeah, he's such a Speaker 2 (2:58) thirsty little rat, isn't Speaker 1 (2:59) he? Yeah, but Speaker 2 (2:59) like me, we're John of thirsty guys. Yeah. Thirst trappers. If it was him in the cartoon, it'd be Thirst E Coyote. Speaker 1 (3:08) Look at you. Oh, baby. Much Speaker 2 (3:11) appreciated. The red squirrel. We were talking about squirrels on the last episode, weren't we? The red squirrel and Speaker 1 (3:15) all of your kin. All right, what do you think? I think he's got a hell of a problem here. I think this happens in a lot of weddings. I had a similar thing at my wedding with my parents insisting on a couple of people, like their invites. Shame, shame, shame. Speaker 1 (3:38) So I think it's quite a harsh, hard thing to deal with here. I think it does look a bit of a liberty if you've gone. Bit of a fucking liberty, isn't it? Who are those two tables over there, Red Squirrel? Oh, they're just sort of some people that, yeah, that's Alan and Vanessa. Alan used to work at the print works with my dad. Vanessa's, if you've got, I think, yeah, you don't want to fall into a trap of just having some also rounds at your wedding. Jesus. Speaker 1 (4:03) So I think, yeah, I think... Some fucking has Speaker 2 (4:05) -beens. Yeah, I Speaker 1 (4:06) think you've got to sit down and chat to your parents. Because by the sounds of things, your in-laws sound like good people who have put a lot of money towards the wedding. And they will, behind your back, go, oh, God, what was he thinking? Fighting all those people he didn't really know. Speaker 2 (4:22) That's so funny you did that. That's the in-law's voice, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, bloody hell, they've invited 18 Speaker 1 (4:27) people. Speaker 2 (4:28) It doesn't feel like either of Speaker 1 (4:30) the couple. Speaker 2 (4:30) Who Speaker 1 (4:30) are Speaker 2 (4:30) Alan and Vanessa? Speaker 1 (4:32) So you've really, I think it's a tough question. Obviously they chose the steak. That's Speaker 2 (4:37) the Speaker 1 (4:37) other thing. Like people who get invited to weddings who don't think they're going are the greediest people. Greediest. By the way, if me and John do come and you don't, please don't put me and John on the table. Speaker 2 (4:48) John and Tom, let's get Speaker 1 (4:50) this cleared up. They're not coming to your wedding. Okay. I would say that's a proper invite. I'm shocked, by the way, at your decorum. My decorum? That's a proper invite. Tom. I doubt Ron will come. Bloody damn right I won't. Why would I come to it? That's an actual invite. Look, this is the problem Speaker 2 (5:10) with this situation. Yeah, go on. All right. I'm going on. Speaker 1 (5:15) Like, seriously. Speaker 2 (5:16) Don't fucking go on me. The Red Squirrel, Speaker 1 (5:18) he is actually... Red Squirrel, look, I'm very... He's Speaker 2 (5:23) not Speaker 1 (5:23) Peter Bader of Bush, by the way. Pardon? He's not Peter Bader of Bush. Speaker 2 (5:27) I didn't suggest he had that. What's the point? He's Speaker 1 (5:29) gone, Speaker 2 (5:29) look, I'd Speaker 1 (5:30) love you to be there. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:31) but... Red Squirrel, I'm very touched by the invite. Speaker 1 (5:35) You seem like a really nice person. A bloody good person. Yeah. But Speaker 2 (5:39) I don't think it's a good idea for us