Why Healing My Internal World Changed Every Relationship in My External World — The Spiritual and Personal Growth That Showed Me How to Outgrow Old Patterns and Live a Life Full of Purpose and Passion

We!

In this deeply personal episode of WE, Joe Mittiga shares how healing his internal emotional wounds transformed every relationship in his external world. He

Key takeaways

• Relationships reflect your internal world—change starts within.
• Healing isn't about fixing external people or situations but transforming your inner emotional landscape.

Main topics

• Internal healing as the foundation for external relationship change
• The role of emotional wounds in shaping relationships

Notable quotes

"What if the relationships in my external world are reflecting what's happening in my internal world?"

"We don't simply change our thoughts. We don't simply change our habits. We change the way we show up in relationships."

Conclusion

Joe Mittiga concludes that lasting transformation comes from healing within—through self-acceptance,

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:01) If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling inside and just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you. So here's your host, Joe Mitiga. Hello and welcome to WE. For most of my life, I thought my relationships were about the other people in my life. I thought if someone hurt me, that they were the problem. If someone disappointed me, of course, they needed to change. And if a relationship wasn't working, I always looked outside myself for the reason why. What I didn't understand was how much of my internal world I was truly bringing into every relationship I had. My fears, my insecurities, my need for approval, my expectations, my need to control. Speaker 1 (1:17) The wounds from my past that I hadn't completely healed, I didn't realize that I was just having relationships with people standing in front of me. I wasn't really having a relationship with the people in front of me. Because you know what? In many ways, I was having a relationship with these people through everything that happened to me way before they ever came into my life. And as I began healing emotionally, growing spiritually, something happened that I never expected. Amazingly, my relationships started changing because I was changing. Some relationships became deeper. All of them became healthier. And of course, some had to have some new boundaries. Speaker 1 (2:14) And unfortunately, a lot of them, a lot of my old relationships, I simply outgrew them altogether. That was difficult for me because I had spent so much of my life believing that personal growth meant learning how to hold everything together. But maybe growth isn't always about holding on. Sometimes growth means recognizing that the person I'm becoming can no longer live through the same fears, behaviors, expectations, and relationship patterns that once defined my life. And I begin asking myself a very different question. What if the relationships in my external world are reflecting what's happening in my internal world? Because as I learned to love myself differently, I started loving other people differently. As I learned to forgive myself, forgiveness became different. As I began living with less fear of losing people, Speaker 1 (3:33) I stopped trying so hard to control relationships. And of course, as I learned to trust my higher power, I slowly stopped asking other people to provide the security, validation, and sense of worth that I needed to discover within myself. Maybe that's part of becoming the person we were born to be. We don't simply change our thoughts. We don't simply change our habits. We change the way we show up in relationships in our lives. And sometimes, without even realizing it, our external world begins changing because our internal world has finally begun to heal. My name is Joe Mitiga, and this is we. Speaker 1 (4:29) Welcome, everybody, and welcome from around the world. It is an exciting night here in Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm thrilled to be here with you and sharing my experience, strength, and hope. You know, I say to people all the time, and people have asked me, Joe, what do you attribute the success of the WE Podcast to? And I say, you know what? Honestly, it's not me. It's the message. And why is it with the message? Because all of you that are listening are connecting to the same message. And why is that? Because we're all the same. Literally, there's no difference. And the same. Speaker 1 (5:12) is in that sense of created in God's image. And I've told this story numerous times. When I first heard that, I said, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And this God's image concept, I looked around the room and my best friend was a black guy. And my girlfriend at the time was this tiny little female from Connecticut. And I was a white guy, 220 and 220 pounds, pretty big guy. And I said, you know, we don't look anything alike. At all, zero, nothing. I said, how could that be created in God's image? It took me 10 years at least. And I say, you know, I poke fun at myself. I was just a slow learner. But one day it hit me. The God's image concept, it's not the physical sense of self. It's the spiritual sense of self. It's the spiritual us that is the same. And if you've never heard this before, folks. Speaker 1 (6:09) You know, I'm here to tell you, you are a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around. You're human, sure you are, but you're a spirit having a human experience. And your humanity, quite honestly, is the most dense part of your expression because your spirituality, your sense of spirit. It's eternal and it's hooked to eternity. You're part of the infinite us, the infinite I. And that's why, quite honestly, I'm practiced. And the only thing different with me, I will say this truthfully, the one thing that is different for me is I started a conscious path in 1990, February the 16th, 1990. And I had conscious thoughts before that. So literally, a lot of you were in grade school. Speaker 1 (6:57) when I started A Conscious Path. So all these years later, and you know, I like sharing my stories because I think it gives a feel for the whole idea. Years later, I have to say I'm pretty practiced at... The listening to a power greater than myself and then sharing it on podcasts like this and books that have been channeled and keynote speeches that I present. And that is my gift. That's a passion I have. It's something that I give back into the world. And all of you are my friends. I can promise you, if you saw me and we hung out a little bit, we could go to dinner. We could go to... Speaker 1 (7:37) lunch, we could have coffee, you'd invite me to Thanksgiving dinner, and I'd invite you because we're all the same. We truly are. And that's why I believe, basically, I'm just creating a group, a community of connected, consciously connected people. And we're all the same. We would all be friends, any one of you that met each other from anywhere around the globe, we'd be friends. And this is, you know, I want to welcome people from around the globe. It's so humbling for me. It just is. It's humbling for me. And a brand new group that was here for a while and then, you know, now is just exploding is in Germany. Welcome, everybody from Germany, Norway, United Kingdom, Canada, Kenya, Malaysia, South Korea, Japan, Australia, New Zealand. Welcome. France, Sweden. Welcome. And the list goes on and on. Speaker 1 (8:33) As the WE Podcast expands around the globe, it continues to validate for me, Joe, what a part of me learned very profoundly back in September of 2022, and I'm going to share that story in more detail today, that humanity is waking up. It just is. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter the color of your skin. It doesn't matter male, female. It doesn't matter your sexual orientation. None of that matters. If you're a human being, you are waking up. And what you're waking up to is the feminine side of yourself. It is. And what does that mean? It's not a gender-specific concept, the feminine side of self. We, as human beings, have a male side and a female side. The male side is kind of... Speaker 1 (9:23) broken up into the mental part of you and the physical part of you, you know what that means. Do math in your head. That's your mental. You know what it means. Pick up your fork. That's your physical. Well, the other side of you, the additional side of you, the part of you that's waking up more and more, is the feminine side, which is where your spiritual communion lives and your emotional sense of self resides. So, mental. physical, male side, spiritual, emotional, female side. And consciousness as a humanity, the energetic vibration of consciousness as a humanity is rising vibration. It just is. And for millennia, literally thousands of years, society has been dominated by the male side of self, the mind and the physical. Speaker 1 (10:20) And that's why the New Thought Movement of the 40s and the Changing Your Mind and the Positive Affirmation Movement that was such a powerful new concept 40 years ago, it really changed lives. It brought a whole different level of awareness. And, you know, in earlier podcasts, I used to get pretty big about the concept. And I got big about it because for Joe, when I first heard it, and then it didn't work because I wanted my ugly voices to just stop. And it was presented as if all you have to do is change your mind and the ugly voices would stop. That's how it was presented to me. Then when it didn't work, I would shame myself. I would make myself even more wrong. I would add to the already toxic voices. And that's why I have a passion about that concept. But the best way for me to describe. Speaker 1 (11:12) Meditation, is that a beautiful thing? Sure, it calms you in the moment. It does. It makes your crazy voices slow down a little bit. Sure, it does. Does it remove them? No, period. It doesn't. And how do I know that for a literal absolute? Because even the most powerful meditators on the planet say you have to do it every day. Literally. Well, if it was healing anything, why did you have to do it after the first day? Well, because it isn't designed to heal. The same with the positive affirmation concept. It doesn't. Because if you're always having to change your mind, then that means the reason your mind needs to be changed in the first place has a different source, and that's the inner child. That's the inner sense of self. And that's what the WE Podcast is all about. Speaker 1 (12:04) healing the emotional sense of self. And as that happens, validate and honor the human transformation, the spiritual awakening that's happening literally around the globe. And I've got some really powerful stories today I'm going to share on that concept. And I'm going to kind of take you through my path. and make some pretty powerful announcements on this show here today a little bit later but you know I want to explain like what is emotional growth and why do we need to do it? What is the spiritual awakening thing and why does it matter? Like what is the benefit? Like what's in it for me? You know, if you're in sales or if you're in a relationship or whatever, any interaction with anybody, there's always the question of what's in it for me and the what's in it for me when it comes to emotional growth, what's in it for you. Why do you want to do it? Because Speaker 1 (13:05) your life will be better. It will be. The challenges, the angst, the struggles, the fears, the concerns, the loneliness, the need for control, the fear of abandonment, the fear of neglect, all of the fears that you live in, in a little way or a big way, can be healed. They can be by embracing the emotional sense of self, giving a voice to your darker parts of self. I'm going to talk about that in this podcast. And then what's the benefit? Well, the benefit is the more you heal the deeper parts of yourself, then the reason you have the voices in your head, the unfavorable voices in your head, the I can't do it, I can't breathe, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I'm too ugly, I'm too old, I'm the wrong color, I'm a woman, all of those bantering voices, all of them. Speaker 1 (14:01) are because of an emotional wound in your heart. They just are. And as you reach the emotional wound of your heart, you give a voice to that part. You emote the pain, mad, glad, sad, or scared. After the emotion is recited and the healing happens, the voice associated with the wound no longer exists. Literally gone. No more having to change the unloving voice. It no longer exists. So I ask yourself the simplest of questions, anybody that's been on a conscious path. And what is a conscious path, by the way? A conscious path is a human being that understands they can hear, identify, and make sense of their own thoughts. You can hear your own thoughts. You're aware of yourself. Speaker 1 (14:59) And that awakening is really the first sense of the multidimensional you, the part that's hearing the voices and the voices themselves. And that's, you know, we're all multidimensional beings. We are. Now, does that mean that everybody can hear their thoughts? No. In fact, the masses don't. You know who I'm talking about. Half your family at dinner. Half your buddies at the ballgame. A lot of people at church. A lot of people at work. Does that make them wrong? No, folks, I'm not judging anybody ever. Never. Now, do I get angry sometimes? Yeah. The last podcast I did, you know, was the very last one. I was mad. I was. And I'm going to talk about that here a little bit. Because living small. Speaker 1 (15:54) is not living as part of the generation of change. And I want to empower people to live as the generation of change. And the whole idea of conscious awakening, and why are some people awake and some people aren't, I don't know. There's some of those spiritual questions, that's where I kind of coined the term, there's a God and it's not Joe. I don't have that answer. I don't know why. You're on an awakened path and maybe your partner's not or you're on an awakened path and your family members aren't I don't have that answer I don't I can speak to the differences I can honor all people there's one God and one monolithic God and that Monolithic God is in all of us and I'm gonna talk about that in detail how I know that for a fact Why are some people waking up and others aren't I don't have that answer, but I do know Speaker 1 (16:52) More and more people are waking up faster at a rate than ever before. I talk about human transformation of consciousness. 200 years ago, perfectly fine to own a human. I told a story a couple weeks ago about a man around the 1900s that literally used his wife as a prostitute to make money in a normal little residential neighborhood in a German community. Think about how closed down. he had to be. But even more, think about how closed down the entire community had to be. They saw random men walking in this house all day, every day. No one asked, no one cared, no one thought about it. The answer is yes. No one asked, no one cared, no one thought about it. Why? Because consciousness of the day was so closed down. Well, it's not like that anymore. Speaker 1 (17:44) And I can promise you, if you're on my podcast and you keep coming back to my podcast, you are an absolute spiritual warrior. You are uniquely different than most people you know. And if you've got a group of people that are able to be on the podcast, then thank you for inviting people. It's why the podcast is exploding around the world. People are telling people. And because as a community of us are getting together, it doesn't make us better or worse. More or less, none of that nonsense. It's about honoring everybody where they are. And my very first idea, the conscious idea about the WE Podcast is I wanted to honor the 67% of people that some random poll took that consider themselves more spiritual than religious. That's an empowering event. It's not a shaming event for religious people. Speaker 1 (18:41) some of the most powerful, loving, most kind people I've ever known, including my business partner, including one of my closest friends, including Father Cam, my Catholic priest who literally saved my life, literally emotionally saved my life, my aunt who just passed. These are the most connected, loving, God-based people I've ever known and still do. But their approach is different than mine That's it. And if you're on a podcast like this your approach is probably a little different than theirs too Not good not bad all the same and I want to honor everybody Everybody is welcomed here because the true essence of this podcast isn't really the teaching of a grander communion or a grander you Speaker 1 (19:35) It's more teaching how you heal the reason you're not consciously connected to the grander you on a day-to-day basis already. And why is that? If it's in us, Joe, why doesn't it always work? Why don't I know? Well, the answer is, is because there's so much suppressed emotion because we were raised in an environment where consciously and emotionally we were not supported as kids. We weren't. That's why this generation, us, you, me, the people on this podcast, we're the ones changing and we're giving back to our kids in a way that wasn't given to us. And I see it over and over and over. Did our parents do the best they could? Of course they did. And it doesn't mean we weren't harmed in the meantime. We were. We were emotionally neglected, a lot of times physically abandoned. Speaker 1 (20:29) sometimes sexually abused, sometimes emotionally abused, but for the masses. The sexual abuse, emotional abuse, that wasn't mass harm. It wasn't. Abandonment, neglect, was. In fact, I've never met anybody that wasn't. And that's just because their consciousness, you know, the consciousness of the parents was projected onto the kids. Well, it's all changing now. And that's why the We Podcast is exploding. You know, my ultimate goal is to help 100 million people to heal the depths of themselves. And I believe with the click of a button that it's happening. I can tell you, being on the global charts, I haven't seen my numbers lately, but my guess is the We Podcast is up to 300,000 or 400,000 downloads a month. My goal is 100 million. Why? Because I believe... Speaker 1 (21:28) as we create a global community of consciously aware people that are healing the depths of themselves. So you're becoming emotionally connected and spiritually connected to your heart, not just spiritually connected to the concept of a higher power, but being guided through with that communion of a power greater than yourself, but being guided through your heart. That's a very different thing. And that was the experience I had for the first time ever, September 22nd, 2022. That's why that story is such a big story, which I'm going to share that in detail today. I came across a woman that's exactly where she lives. I've never met this woman, but the impact she had on my life has been tremendous. And I say to people all the time, people are watching you. They are. I was watching this woman. I didn't even know who she was. Speaker 1 (22:26) And because she was living her truth in a way that I'd never experienced before, it really helped me. It really, really did. It expanded me tremendously. And you're doing that with people now. I've got another story to tell about that. The reasons why. Why do we want to heal? Why do we want to grow? What is the why? What's in it for us? Well, the truth is, what's truly in it for you is a glorious life. There's a life of bliss, there's a life of abundance, there's a life of oneness, there's a life of okayness. As you might be struggling at work, as you have to pay for your college kids, in addition to challenges at home, in addition to work you don't like. having a spiritual communion with yourself and growing from the inside out, it doesn't mean we remove all external challenge. That's just not true. Speaker 1 (23:31) But it gives us a whole different fullness to address the challenges of our day. Now, it's actually the Tuesday episode. This particular episode will be launched on a Thursday. The Tuesday episode of this week, literally right now, that episode I talked about where a couple who had been 12-step for years, they're using the 12-step techniques. to kind of justify a toxic environment and justifying it always saying, well, I just have to look at my side of the street. You know, he's just being him. And I just have to look at my side of the street. And I agree to that. But at a certain point, folks, it's time to change the street. Speaker 1 (24:23) Hear me. Time to change the street. If you're in an environment that every day you have to defend yourself, protect yourself, close yourself down because your partner, sober or not sober, isn't treating you nicely, it's time. Am I saying divorce? Hey, you know what? I got a divorce. I did. Am I telling you to get a divorce? No, but if you do, great website, Divorce Post. Go visit. Let them help. Am I an advocate of divorce? Of course I'm not an advocate of fricking divorce. No, I'm not. But I am a supporter of personal and spiritual growth. And relationships are either growing or they're going. Period. Speaker 1 (25:17) And if you're in a relationship that's growing, then you don't have to defend yourself. You don't have to protect yourself. Your partner's not treating you less than loving because the relationship's growing. Great. That's what relationships are supposed to be. I'm talking about relationships that aren't that way. And you have enough. 12-step practice to justify the behavior because you're always looking at yourself, which is great. But sooner or later, you have to look yourself in the mirror and say, why am I in the same toxic environment with somebody who might not be drinking, but they're still unloving, they're still unkind, and they're still not supportive. And that's, folks, where relationships either grow or go. And that's why. Speaker 1 (26:12) Divorce post is something I'm going to talk about probably on every episode because in my opinion over the next 10 years at the rate at which people are growing, some people are, some people aren't. You are going to see, and I'm going to share in my experience, the relationships I used to have with people outside myself and how many of them aren't around anymore. And if you're in a relationship with a partner and together you're not growing, The likelihood of you outgrowing your partner is very, very likely. And I'm sorry, I hate to be the one to tell you, but I want to validate the part of you that knows the truth. Now, are you going to hear that at the church? No. Are you going to hear that from your family? No. Why? Because the social delusion of death to us part, regardless in all the garbage, that isn't the honoring of self. Speaker 1 (27:06) The covenant is with God, not the human. What is marriage? You're making a promise to God to be the best you can be and give that overflow to your partner. Yes. And if you're giving your overflow to your partner and you're not receiving it back, you got to look at it. Now, I'm not saying dump your partner because of the simplest reasons. I'm saying if you're spiritually outgrowing your partnership, It's time to have the courage to change the street. And I support that a thousand percent. And I believe it's going to happen more and more. Speaker 1 (27:43) This website, Divorce Post, you know, just helps. If I'd have had it, my whole world would be different today. I didn't have it. I had nothing. I had no one. I had no support. When my past wife walked in and said, Joe, I don't love you anymore. I divorced you and I don't love you anymore. That was a knife to the heart and I had no place to take it. Well, now with technology, there's places out there that can support. I'm super excited to make an announcement today. I've got a gentleman who I'm going to be supporting. His name is David Bartley, and his passion is suicide prevention. Now, I have to say the word suicide prevention because that's how I learned it. He says a whole different language to it. And eventually, with Divorce Post, David will be in the directory of my podcast and talk about it. Speaker 1 (28:37) how things work i was talking to him for a