#3506 McBee Dynasty S03E10: Not Working at the Car Wash
Watch What Crappens - Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
In the season finale of 'McBee Dynasty,' Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam dissect the chaotic, absurd world of the McBee car wash empire, focus
Key takeaways
- Galena is the only character consistently shown working, making her efforts to appear busy through fake typing both comedic and symbolic of performative labor.
Main topics
- Galena's fake typing and performative work ethic
- Christy McBee's toxic leadership and favoritism
Notable quotes
"I will only have a fandom of five foot eight or five foot six blonde women. Do you understand me?"
"They're putting the combines in there, probably."
Conclusion
The season finale of 'McBee Dynasty' serves as a biting satire of reality TV excess, using absurdity
Transcript preview
Speaker 3 (0:22) Welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today for this very, very exciting episode is the one and only, the irascible Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, hello, irascible. Yeah. Are you excited? Because today is the season finale of McBee Dynasty. And according Speaker 1 (0:47) to Speaker 3 (0:47) Christy, Christy McBee could be Speaker 1 (0:50) the series finale. Speaker 1 (0:53) Oh, yeah, it could be. Yeah, and Steven, too, was like, we are sick Speaker 2 (0:56) of it. We are sick of taking it from the Bravo fandom. This is a sick, toxic fandom. I will not have this. I will only have a fandom of five foot eight or five foot six blonde women. Do you understand me? Speaker 4 (1:10) From now on, we are solely producing this show for an audience of many island gals, okay? No more Bravo people. Speaker 1 (1:19) This show did give me what I needed, though. And I have to say, and I was watching the episode like, wow, they've got nothing. I mean, that whole happy hour scene with the ladies or whatever, the girls night, they literally just stood there and stared at each other for a solid five minutes talking about nothing. And I was like, this poor show has nothing going on for it. And then my Galena grabbed a crowbar and made it all worth it at the end. No, that's my girl Galena. I love you. Love you. Speaker 3 (1:46) Great Speaker 1 (1:46) moment. I laughed out Speaker 3 (1:47) loud. It was. Very, it was very fulfilling for me because I think we've all wanted to do that to Steven's car, if not face. But like, quite frankly, that scene, that scene with the girls night at that bar was one of the saddest, most pathetic things we've ever seen on Bravo. I'm sorry. It was like the pleather brigade came out and stood in a brightly lit sports bar and stood at the corner drinking milky drinks, looking around like girls night. I'm like, oh gosh. Oh, man, that is a lasting vision. I mean, the same week that they have Crystal's ugly leather pants party and these girls are wearing these outfits, like, non-ironically, it was just, it was a tough watch. Speaker 2 (2:29) Non-ironically. Speaker 1 (2:32) Yep. So here we are, season finale of the McBee. Yeah. Speaker 3 (2:37) McBee car. Well, guess what? We started the McBee car wash office and Galena is sitting in front of two monitors. Speaker 3 (2:46) Which is, you know, she's just looking at chickens, right? Like we all know she's just staring at Masha's chickens, like waiting when to strike next. Like, oh, that one, the gray one. I attack her next. Speaker 1 (2:57) Well, she's doing a lot of her speed typing. Her typing was crazy. I'm typing. Look at me typing. And I don't know. Either she was really typing fast or she was just doing this on the keyboard to be like, look, busy, busy, work, work. Who doesn't come to work in a full head-to-toe leather trench coat that they wear at desk at car wash? Speaker 3 (3:21) I'm so glad you noticed that. She was typing so fast. And I was like watching, of course, at like 1.5 or 1.75 speed so I can get through it faster. So her hands were like. I was like, I just assumed it was because I was watching it fast. But I'm glad to see that on normal speed that she was doing fake typing or something. Yeah, I think she was just Speaker 1 (3:40) going like this over the keyboard. Type, Speaker 2 (3:42) type, fast, fast, type. I Speaker 1 (3:44) mean, how much content do you need to produce for a car wash? Yeah. Was she writing an incredibly intense email? Yeah. Speaker 3 (3:52) What needs to be written? How much? It's like, not only that something has to be written, but it has like, there's so much of it that needs to be said that you got to type it as soon as possible. It's like, dear so-and-so, we are going to let you know you get $5 off your next windshield wiper repair. I mean, like, and Speaker 1 (4:09) by Speaker 3 (4:09) the way, he Speaker 1 (4:09) would not like to go from individual peewee car wash to premium monthly membership car wash. By the Speaker 3 (4:18) way, we Speaker 1 (4:19) will get your wheels. Speaker 3 (4:21) Do those car washes have like an option for you to send a cruise liner through them? Why are those facilities so big? When they showed an exterior shot, I was like, these car washes are enormous. Okay. And they're like, and they're like wondering why it's costing them like, you know, millions of dollars, why they're like $28 million in debt over these car washes. It's because they are fortresses. No one needs a car wash to be that big. Like, what are you spending your money on? Speaker 1 (4:48) They're putting the combines in there, probably. Speaker 3 (4:50) I was about to say, I actually was wondering if it was like agricultural. Like, they're sending combines through that. Speaker 1 (4:55) Yeah, and also, just the trucks there are so big. They're gigantic. They're all humongous. So, who knows what they're putting through there. But do not forget, they also have to fit in Speaker 2 (5:06) McBee's Coffee Shop! Speaker 1 (5:09) That's right. That could take. McBee's brew. Speaker 3 (5:12) Yeah. The finest, the finest brew. Well, they do that. Okay. Well, that explains it because if they have McBee's coffee shop in the car wash, they're going to need at least one or two more stories to accommodate Christie's orders. Speaker 1 (5:25) Exactly. Yeah, one of those whole rooms could just be one of Christy's lattes. Those lattes are like in a missile silo. Speaker 3 (5:34) They need a lot of space to accommodate that frozen latte that she enjoys. Speaker 1 (5:41) Yeah, well, they're making up a lot of stuff for this finale. We open with a scene of Galena fake typing and then having a meeting with Speaker 2 (5:49) Christy McBee. Hi, I just wanted to come in and see how everything's going. Speaker 2 (5:54) Yeah, go ahead. Tell me how you're doing. How are you doing, Galena? And Speaker 1 (5:58) she's like, well, you know, Steve, he was handling so many things. And now you know how he is. Prison. So I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows how Stephen is, because this is difficult, even from behind bars. Speaker 3 (6:12) And you know that Christy still does not like Galena. She just she just plays along to get along. But we know that she doesn't like her because she did not bring an enormous styrofoam cup of coffee to her. So Galena's like, even though Steve and I— Christy doesn't hide Speaker 1 (6:27) it in her face. I don't think Christy can hide it. She's got this thing, like her piercing little eyes and her little tight teeth smiles. She just always looks like she wants to either hug somebody or murder them. I can't read her face. Speaker 3 (6:43) It's hard to read her face. So I just pretend she's Tom Petty and think she's singing a song. So then Galena Speaker 1 (6:50) is like... It's as hard to read her face as it is for her kids to just read things. I like to say... Oh, wait. I can Speaker 3 (6:57) read her face. Her face is this. Speaker 4 (7:01) Boys will be boys as long as the boys are happy. Golly, I don't sure I have my own business that's very successful. And if I step away from it and focus on this one for too long, I risk losing lots of money over there and threatening the lives of my my poor employees. But I got to do this for the boys. Speaker 1 (7:21) Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:22) I'm doing everything I can to just keep this going here. And Speaker 1 (7:26) Galena's like, yes, you know, it's like transition period. But the best thing we can do is come together and step up, you know, keep on washing. Car wash, be car washing. You know what I say? Always be car wash is what I always say. Well, Speaker 2 (7:41) yeah, I appreciate you doing that, you know. And obviously the way that you're stepping up and, you know, by coming to work and doing your job that you're paid to do. But, you know, obviously these businesses affect the boys. And I'm just worried about the boys because, you know, I'm just going to need you to, you know, focus, really, really focus and show up. Speaker 1 (7:58) Just keep coming to work. Because they complained to her that this lady goes to housewives parties on the weekends. And they're called weekends because that's what they're the end of the week where people do things that aren't work. You dicks. She's actively trying Speaker 3 (8:13) to have outreach with the rest of the Bravo communities. That way people understand why the hell this. wretched show is on the network and so and meanwhile she's sitting here coming in to lecture galena about like too much travel when christy's the one who bought sweets for all the boys to go to vegas to quote unquote work when they literally didn't even go to cowboy christmas except for steven and Speaker 4 (8:37) i want to be the only boy going to cowboy christmas you Speaker 1 (8:40) know yeah so i don't Speaker 2 (8:41) know Speaker 1 (8:41) supporting steven moving across the country to stalk some poor girl instead of working and doing what he's supposed to be doing. I mean, give me a break, lady. I Speaker 3 (8:50) mean, Galena's typing. She's like the valedictorian of Mavis Beacon University over there. Okay? So give her a break. Speaker 1 (9:01) Galena is the only one out of all of these people that we actually see working. I mean, the boys will fake it sometimes. Like Cole does his, well, I just sold a bunch of silos to somebody. I mean, I don't know how many gallons of grain they hold, but, you know, it was all my deal. Or we see them try to pretend they're riding in a tractor, but they don't even know how to open the doors. So please lay off Galena. She's the one who's actually at this fucking car wash all the time. I know, seriously. But also Galena. Speaker 3 (9:30) Aim higher. Aim higher. Like, like it's, I mean, just listen to what Ronnie just said. You're stuck at these car washes all day long. You deserve better in life. Speaker 1 (9:39) I hope she does move to Orange County to be friends with all the people that she is friends with. You know, like she moves there and then she shows up on the Orange County. Oh, really? What? You think you're some rich bitch? You are better than me. I just want to see her take a crowbar to probably Vicky's truck at this point, but I'd take anybody. Yeah. Speaker 3 (9:57) I think she should open up like a cute little cafe in Laguna Beach or something. And they come in and she could be like, oh, hello, ladies. Oh, yes, I've got a Russian pastry here. And also normal sized lattes in protest to Christine McBee. I Speaker 1 (10:14) want to see her be like full housewife. I want to see her pull a housewife storyline. Shit, go steal. Can't steal a man. Go steal Johnny. Johnny J. What's his name? Johnny J. Go get him from Alexis and let's watch, you know, or go move in like you did on this show, you know, with Steven. Go have an affair with Johnny J. And then, you know, take a come on. Come on, Galena, please. Speaker 3 (10:43) Yeah, well, so Christy lectures Galena in a sweet but condescending way. And she's, you know, this is where, like, you know, she's like, oh, Speaker 4 (10:57) God, I never Speaker 3 (10:57) got Speaker 4 (10:57) anything to do with the farms. But, like, the boys don't want this to affect the boys. I Speaker 3 (11:01) love that they're all willing to put lots of people out of work, like tons of people out of work so that way Cole can save his house. Like, you guys can lose your houses, but Cole can't lose his enormous house. With a layout like a rec center. With a staircase that you can actually walk on. Like a staircase bridge that you walk under. Like this guy built a huge house beyond his means on land he couldn't even afford. So daddy had to buy the land. And daddy even couldn't afford the land. So he built this whole thing beyond the scope of his bank account or whatever it is in his fucking portfolio. Now he can't. Oh, guess what? Can't afford it. Because I couldn't afford the land in the first place. And oh, no. So guess what? We're going to sell off. That Speaker 1 (11:44) wasn't even the thing. He didn't even get a loan for the land. This is business land. He just built it on something that the business owned. Speaker 3 (11:53) He just Speaker 1 (11:53) built it on. So Speaker 3 (11:54) because he was dumb. Now, all these people who work at the car washes are going to lose their jobs. And I don't care what's even says like, oh, well, you know, leadership always wants to have someone on board for three to five years. I'm like, they're fucking car washes. Leadership is already has whoever's buying these car washes already has a team that's just going to come in and lay off everyone. Speaker 1 (12:15) So it's like people. It's not like some suckers coming in here. Like, how do I run a car wash? I hope we get someone who can top real fast in here. No. Speaker 3 (12:25) Like Galena was not a car wash expert before she started working at the car wash. Galena figured it out. I'm not saying Galena's stupid. I'm not saying, oh, if even Galena could do it. I'm just saying like people will figure it out. And so I don't know. I just have like limited, like I just have limited sympathy for Cole putting Galena and everyone else who works at these car washes out of business. I have zero other assholes. But we'll Speaker 1 (12:49) get there soon because right now it's just about Christy saying, you need Speaker 2 (12:52) to come to work more and, you know, like maybe limit traveling and, you know, your credibility with the boys will get better. Speaker 1 (12:59) And it's like, well, this is awkward because Christy and I are just trying to establish a friendship. But then I'm, you know, I'm offering to help the boys and then Christy telling me what to do and how to do my job. Yeah, Speaker 2 (13:13) but you guys can work together, whatever you need. need help with whatever the boys need help with i just want these businesses to succeed so just remember these businesses are about uh Speaker 1 (13:25) helping cars be washed the Speaker 2 (13:27) boys it's about the boys okay okay Speaker 3 (13:30) okay Speaker 2 (13:32) okay Speaker 3 (13:33) yes okay good night bitch it's time for Speaker 1 (13:37) a commercial it's Speaker 3 (13:39) time for a Speaker 1 (13:39) crappin's commercial Speaker 3 (13:45) So now we go to Braden's house and everyone's there to talk about things. And there's a America cheers as Cole shows up. Hey, everyone. And so Steven Speaker 4 (13:57) is like, well, at least we're not out there planting a bunch of fields that don't make us money like we have in the past few years. Am I right? So Speaker 3 (14:06) you admit that that was like so. So now you admit that like what we were stuck watching you do for all this time was worthless. Thank you. Speaker 3 (14:18) Are you there? I'm here. Speaker 1 (14:21) Oh, you got cut off for a Speaker 3 (14:23) minute. So now you admit that what? You know, it's not even worth it. I got cut off by like fate from Speaker 1 (14:30) hearing me complain about the soybeans or whatever. Well, the first season was them not being able to make money farming. They couldn't make any money. So then Cole came in and was like, well, I think we should do some soybeans. And they're like, Speaker 2 (14:43) soybeans? That is ridiculous. How dare you? I run this company. I do not approve of soybeans. And Speaker 1 (14:48) then Cole went behind his back and did a soybean deal anyway without anybody knowing, which is so stupid because. Like multiple people have to sign off on your soybean deal. But then he did a soybean deal and it actually made a little profit. So he's like, Speaker 2 (15:01) yeah, I can run this company because I'm a soybean. I sold a soybean, you know, acre. Speaker 1 (15:07) or whatever. So yeah, they can't make money doing anything. They suck. That's the whole point of the show and why I love it because they're like, we're the real American cowboys and they just fail at every single thing they do and it's so hilarious and every season starts the same way. How are we going to save this Speaker 2 (15:24) farm? We are going to do whatever we can do to save this farm. And Speaker 1 (15:28) every season ends with Stephen going, we Speaker 2 (15:30) are going to do whatever we can do to save this farm. Speaker 1 (15:34) And you just Speaker 3 (15:34) keep failing. You know, I was watering my little garden box two days ago, and I have one of those. I have like a flexi hose that's like this soft, lovely hose that's like it's so it's just it just works so nicely. And I turn on the hose and it's sprung a leak. I've never seen a hose spring a leak before. It had like two little things. I was like, oh, that's weird, but I could still use it. Like, it just was like a little sprinkler action. And I was like watering the plants. And I was just like, I just was like, as I was watering the plants, I was like looking at those leaks. And I was like, I just wonder how that happened. And then all of a sudden, the whole thing went. And it just like, just like it went from being just at all. Just like, it just like farted out water. And then like now the hose was just totally useless and had to be thrown out. And I was like, this is the McBee dynasty right here. This is. A hose. It's a stupid hose that sprung some leaks. You think, okay, I can get through it. Okay, it's fine. They can get through it. And now it's just like farted out water. And it's just like... Well, Speaker 1 (16:42) basically, it's a Stephen McQueen Speaker 3 (16:44) Jr. Speaker 1 (16:44) hose. It's a flex hose that lasted about two minutes. Speaker 3 (16:48) These guys are just like, we don't know what we're doing. We're just a shitty hose. Speaker 3 (16:55) It's like a visual metaphor Speaker 1 (16:57) for these guys running their farm. Well, it's just they're terrible. So it's like, so now Speaker 2 (17:03) we're not at least we're not planting fields anymore. Speaker 1 (17:05) You're you're about a farm. It's the McBee farms. And Cole goes, yeah, I think it's a pretty it's a pretty dry year if you ask me. OK, so it's like, yeah, well, there's Speaker 2 (17:19) already. What's that? Speaker 3 (17:21) I said no one was, but that's OK. Speaker 2 (17:24) Yeah, I can tell you there's already been a weight lifted off my shoulders going into this year, knowing we don't have to worry about farming at a farm. Speaker 1 (17:32) And that feels good. Well, I don't know. I mean, the weight's lifted off, but there's other areas of stress that's now being put on me because I got a house and I don't know if I'm going to keep my land. What are we going to do about me keeping my land? Speaker 4 (17:45) I mean, we got many highlands and we got tallow business starting up, which is good, but that doesn't happen overnight. So it Speaker 3 (17:52) takes time and I don't know what's going to happen. It's actually really fun watching them jump the shark in real time. It's like you're literally a farm and you're selling off your farmland and you're investing in tiny cows and tallow. And eventually later this episode, a podcast studio. And I'm just like, oh, you guys are really circling the drain right now. They're just idiots. And Speaker 1 (18:14) also, the car washes are the only businesses that they have up and running that we can see. I mean, don't forget about the meat company that they fucked up last year. They showed up late. Yeah. So Cole's like, well, guys, I have something to tell you. I think we're going to get rid of these car washes because, you know, this is all our money from the car wash. You just started the Speaker 3 (18:37) car washes. They're not going to be profitable right away. How about you give up your house? Why don't you downsize rather than scuttling off all the car washes? Now, admittedly, I have been on the record saying, why do they have car washes? But like, as long as you're making that investment, look. you know i don't want to be like sunk cost fallacy here but like you made that investment knowing that's going to take some time to make money off it what's wrong with you yeah Speaker 1 (19:03) it seems like it's going to be the only one that's actually working you know like what do people need a mini highland cow or a car wash people need they're gonna keep going to the car wash guys okay wait what if you take your mini highland cow to Speaker 3 (19:19) the car wash It's a mini Highland cow wash. You just strap it into that like a bear belt thing. Send it through and the rags will go left and right. And this really things will swirl around and the cow will come out looking beautiful. Speaker 1 (19:32) Sell them the cows and the wash to wash them. I think that's a really good idea. Speaker 3 (19:38) What if you put your car in the car wash and while you're waiting, a little Highland cow comes out to greet you with a coffee attached to its back from the. from the counter yeah Speaker 1 (19:50) we need some synergy here get get it together you guys a or grow grains in the car wash i Speaker 3 (19:58) don't Speaker 1 (19:58) know precisely Speaker 3 (19:59) you got Speaker 1 (19:59) all that water flowing put some seeds down i feel like anything our ideas are better than anything that they've come up with so far on Speaker 3 (20:10) this show hold on we have to consult with the real marketing genius here Speaker 4 (20:13) ali oh yep a plus i've i proved this plan Speaker 1 (20:18) So Brayden is like, well, I thought we were planning on holding out car washes and trying to grow them and stuff. I mean, I'm the most involved brother with this side of the business, and I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I mean, we're doing everything we can to keep things pushing. We can't just get rid of the car washes. Are we going to even sell them high? Are we even going to get our money's worth out of what we build? Speaker 3 (20:41) So Stephen's like, Speaker 4 (20:42) well, we'll get our money back, but we wouldn't be making any money on them. That's for sure. That's okay. Because we could spend more time. So Speaker 3 (20:50) Cole's like, yeah, but it pays off Speaker 1 (20:52) all the debt. And then suddenly tomorrow, then everybody's company's profitable. What company is the cows in the tallow? I know your Speaker 3 (21:01) farmlands that aren't selling whatever they're growing. So Steve and Jerry, we told them Speaker 1 (21:08) selling cows earlier this season, but they were like, we're going to Speaker 2 (21:11) get, we need to get $2,000 a cow in order to be profitable. And Speaker 1 (21:16) they're like, $1,200 a cow. Like, Speaker 2 (21:18) damn it. I will. Better luck at cowboy Christmas. Speaker 4 (21:24) You know, honestly, it's not a bad idea from Cole. We have nine locations with the car washes, and they're worth $60 million to $70 million. And we have $44 million of debt on those car washes, so that would be an additional $20-ish million that we'd have to pay off every other piece of debt we have across the entities. And then, or, instead of paying off our debt, we could buy $20 million worth of mini-cows, and then, on top of that... 20 billion dollars worth of cute little shoes from cowboy christmas that we could put on the mini cows mini cows and high heels i Speaker 2 (21:55) like it Speaker 4 (21:55) we're gonna put blonde wig on them too oh god they're getting hot now i've got a new idea crocs Speaker 2 (22:01) for