#3563 RHOC S20E13: I Set Fire to the Brain - Live from Chicago!
Watch What Crappens
The Watch What Crappens hosts recap Real Housewives of Orange County Season 20 Episode 13 from their live Chicago tour, focusing on Vicky Gunvalson's pre-nuvo
Key takeaways
- Vicky Gunvalson undergoes a pre-nuvo full-body scan that flags white spots on her brain, triggering rumors of Alzheimer's or sepsis.
- Tamra Cardona hosts a seltzer launch party at her home, inviting former housewives like Alexis Bellino, John Jansen, Quinn Frye, and Lynn Curtin.
Main topics
- RHOC Season 20 Episode 13 recap
- Pre-nuvo medical scans & health rumors
Notable quotes
"Glitter, the herpes of the craft world."
Conclusion
The episode delivers classic RHOC chaos wrapped in low-stakes drama, o
Transcript preview
Speaker 6 (0:00) Ladies and gentlemen, this Speaker 1 (0:02) is the Countess speaking. We have arrived. Speaker 1 (0:54) huge life. Speaker 1 (1:07) Now what else is going on? Speaker 6 (1:54) Hello Chicago! Speaker 3 (2:01) It's so amazing to be back Speaker 5 (2:02) here in Chicago. On Speaker 7 (2:04) the opening weekend of the In The Mix Tour. Speaker 5 (2:11) Happy Sports Day. Speaker 7 (2:13) Yes. Happy Sports Day. To Speaker 5 (2:16) all of you who celebrate that shit. It is like being, I don't, you have to understand as a non-sports gay. Speaker 5 (2:25) coming to this town. Every bar is people going, ah! Yeah, and those sounds of the whistles and all the guys here in this beautiful place listening to sports everywhere you go Thank God. I have such a gay thing to do tonight. I know Speaker 5 (2:44) It doesn't get gayer than that. There's no bigger fuck you to whatever ball they're throwing Speaker 3 (2:49) than Speaker 5 (2:49) talking crap about Real Housewives for two hours. Speaker 7 (2:53) Listen, I am a sports gay. I'm in two fancy football leagues right Speaker 5 (2:57) now. Speaker 7 (2:57) He's wearing a hat. I'm wearing a hat. Speaker 7 (3:00) And we drove by a bar today and like everyone in the bar was just going this. Like in unison. And where I Speaker 5 (3:10) live, it's the same. I'm from, you know, I live in Texas and the Longhorn. Speaker 5 (3:16) So there's a game there a couple weeks ago, and the Longhorns are orange, and the Aggies are maroon. And everybody's nice to each other, but you go into the HomeGoods, and those people fucking hate each other. And it's hilarious. Like an orange will pass a maroon, and they're like, bitch. And you see it all over their face. Speaker 7 (3:34) Well, what's amazing is that, like, okay, you know, wearing a jersey on game day. I'm personally, I am a sports gay. I'm not a jersey gay. I'm not going to do that. But people just start on Thursday. They're like, we were just in Kansas City and we just saw tons of Chiefs jerseys on Thursday. I'm like, you know the game's not until Sunday, right? They're like, I'm ready. But you know, there is one other gay thing you could be doing tonight and we appreciate that you're not doing it, which is watching Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Speaker 7 (4:06) I levitated. I levitated for you all. And you missed it for Speaker 3 (4:10) Ben and Speaker 7 (4:10) Ronnie. How dare Speaker 3 (4:11) you? How dare you treat me like that? I levitated. Speaker 7 (4:14) You know, it was great. So we flew in today. And Ronnie's been talking about these glasses that he has. These, like, sunglasses that he wears on planes that actually have TV screens on the inside of them. What are they called? Speaker 5 (4:27) A masturbation station. That's what my friend calls them. Like, I actually watch Housewives on these. Yeah. Speaker 7 (4:34) So Ronnie's been talking, you've been talking about these glasses. You plug them into your Speaker 5 (4:36) phone and it's like a big screen, you know? Speaker 7 (4:38) Yeah, and so like when we do our Amazon Live thing, Ronnie is talking about like, you put these sunglasses on and people think you're just sitting there with sunglasses on, but you're actually watching TV and people don't buy, are you Speaker 5 (4:49) okay? Sorry, sorry. Speaker 7 (4:51) And people don't bother you. So he showed me them and they were really cool. It was like, you really can watch TV on them. It was so cool. But what was so funny is I was sitting next to Ronnie on the plane and he's just sitting there with a hoodie over these sunglasses so he literally looks like the Unabomber. Speaker 7 (5:07) And he's just sitting there and we're just be doing, it's like quiet. Then all of a sudden you just hear him go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And I just started cracking up because I know he's watching TV, but people just think it's this guy just staring into space at intermittent moments decides to laugh really loudly. It's like, ha, Speaker 5 (5:25) ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, it's because Lisa Barlow was on there and she's like, oh my god, that girl is glitter. She's like the herpes of the craft world. I've never heard that before. Glitter, the herpes of the craft world. I rewound it like five times. Also, look how much pain that saved me. And we got off the plane. I was like, what a great ride. And Ben was like, fuck, baby. Speaker 7 (5:51) I, of course, was right. I hate that. I was adjacent to an awful toddler, as usual. As per my lot in life. And two parents who believe in gentle parenting. To which I give a gentle fuck you to. Speaker 7 (6:07) The gentle parenting has to stop. When did we as a culture decide we cannot shame people for their parenting styles? I'm sorry. Here's the thing. Your kids are still going to grow up and be fucked up with whatever generational trauma you have. Yeah. Whether you tell them kindly to stop squirming or you say sit in your seat. Okay? Yeah. So let's, enough with the gentle parenting. Speaker 5 (6:29) Your children are going to hate you either way. Either Speaker 7 (6:32) way. Speaker 5 (6:34) And it's our right as children. It's your right as a parent to hate your parent too. If you don't resent them, you are not paying attention at home. Speaker 7 (6:42) No. This child, so this child's probably like 18 months, you know, I don't know, squirming. It wasn't really, didn't have language. Not my job Speaker 5 (6:50) to count your months. Sit the fuck down. Speaker 7 (6:53) So the parents give it a bottle like this of milk. You know, those bottles you get that, you know. And the kid's sitting there with the milk. And I'm like, this is not going to go well. This child has not advanced beyond sippy cup age. Why are you giving it a full-on bottle of milk? So the kid's sitting there like... And then the kid drinks the milk. And eventually, at one point, the kid just spits the milk everywhere. And there's baby milk spit up all over the tray. And then the mom's cleaning it up. And I'm like, you know, people have to eat off that thing. So fuck gentle parenting. Speaker 5 (7:26) Listen, that's why I've always said IVs for babies. Speaker 3 (7:31) That's just it. Speaker 5 (7:34) You get it screwed into you right when you're born and then they'll take it out when you're five or whatever. Whenever you can start aiming things into your mouth. A Speaker 7 (7:42) sippy IV. Yeah, that's Speaker 3 (7:43) it. Speaker 7 (7:44) Damn Speaker 5 (7:45) babies. Point is, welcome to Watra Crappins. Speaker 5 (7:53) It's a very special night because we get to recap Real Housewives of Orange County. Speaker 5 (8:00) For the first time in a long time live. Speaker 7 (8:02) I know. You know, we have a sort of a, we have a mindset, which is the worse the season, the more fun that we have with it. So we're going to have a great night tonight. I'll tell you that much. Speaker 5 (8:16) There's a lot of, this season sucks. We're like, this is amazing. See that part of them fighting over dinner roll-ups? That Speaker 4 (8:23) was crazy. Just Speaker 5 (8:24) walking around going, huh. Ha! Ha! David. All day in real life. Speaker 7 (8:30) Am I the only one, whenever you go into a convenience store or something and you see those bars that say David on them, that you go, David. Speaker 7 (8:38) I literally, every Speaker 6 (8:39) gas station, I just see them there like, David, Speaker 7 (8:42) David, Speaker 1 (8:42) David, David, David, Speaker 6 (8:45) David, David, Speaker 3 (8:47) David, David. It's like someone Speaker 7 (8:49) made a bar. I don't know, are those healthy bars? Are they non-healthy? I don't know. Someone made a bar just to torment Shannon and put them in every gas station. Speaker 4 (8:57) David, David, David. All right. Previously on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Speaker 4 (9:05) Yeah Speaker 6 (9:08) Gina, I want to throw you a Hawaiian-themed couples party for your engagement. Speaker 6 (9:14) But Speaker 4 (9:14) your poor Speaker 4 (9:17) And I'm saying this as someone with six children who live in a shoe. Speaker 4 (9:23) I'm not Speaker 6 (9:23) poor. I'm from Speaker 1 (9:24) Rancho Santa Rancho. But Shannon. Speaker 1 (9:29) Why would you throw me a couples party when you're single? Oh, what? Single? I mean, I'm Speaker 6 (9:34) not single. I have Doug. I mean, we're not seeing each other. I mean, we're just friends. I mean, he's the salmon. I'm the cream cheese. We're together. We're a complete meal, but we're friends. I mean, whoa, is it getting hot in here? Speaker 2 (9:47) Doug. Speaker 4 (9:48) Is Doug poor? Speaker 2 (9:50) No one is bored, Gina. Okay. Welcome to my luau, everyone. Speaker 6 (9:55) Yay! Yay, luau! Speaker 3 (9:57) This is the first time I've been laid in years! Speaker 7 (10:04) That wasn't funny. Let me do it. Hello. This is the first time I've been laid in years. Thank you, Alfredo. Thank you. Speaker 7 (10:17) Emily, I don't appreciate you telling everyone I'm an insufferable snob while I'm trying to merge 18 apartments into one apartment under my penthouse. Speaker 7 (10:31) Sorry, God. If I had feelings, I would be very hurt. All Speaker 5 (10:37) right. Fine, Heather. You're an amazing actress, and I spit on the grave of, the future grave of Wendy Malick. Fuck her. She can't act in a goddamn thing. You should be Speaker 3 (10:47) in everything. Speaker 7 (10:48) Thank you. That's all I needed to hear. I can always forgive a fan. Speaker 1 (10:57) Hey, Camilla. Hey, Camilla. Why is there a man named Vicky? Are you mad because Vicky calls you trashy and a bad mother? You should tell her. Tell her off right at this table, right in front of everybody. It's going to be so funny. Tell her. Tell her. Go ahead. Go ahead. Vicky! Vicky! Camilla's mad at you because you called her a trashy, stupid slut and a bad mother. Speaker 7 (11:19) Well... Speaker 7 (11:21) Carmella, I'm sorry I called you trash, you know, and hurt your feelings, but that's just how people with jobs talk. Speaker 3 (11:29) Is that an apology? Where's Speaker 7 (11:32) my apology? Where's mine? You called me trash. To be fair, who has not called you trash? Speaker 4 (11:41) I'm not Speaker 5 (11:41) to call you trash. I started this show. I started this show. Speaker 7 (11:47) Everything has an expiration date. Speaker 5 (11:50) All right, listen. I called you trash because I've been abandoned. Speaker 5 (11:59) I've been abandoned by men. I've been abandoned by my parents. I've been abandoned by dogs. Speaker 5 (12:04) I've been abetted by Ubers. Ubers circle. They see me and they circle. Speaker 5 (12:11) There was a busboy here. Where'd the busboy go? There was a busboy right here. He abandoned me. Where's the busboy gone? Speaker 7 (12:16) Oh, Alfredo, come back. You've made an old lady cry. Brrts. Speaker 2 (12:23) Bye, Becky. Speaker 5 (12:27) Don't leave me. Speaker 5 (12:30) Where'd the guacamole go? I just had a guacamole and I got the guacamole and Speaker 3 (12:33) I got the guacamole! And scene. Speaker 5 (12:41) I never know how much I touch my own breasts. Until we started putting these little wireless mic things on to have a backup recording, I've just knocked the shit out of it. Speaker 7 (12:52) You know, it's like the Whitney Houston song, I Never Knew My Own String, except it's I Never Knew How Much I Touched My Own Breasts. Speaker 5 (13:00) Someone needs to... Speaker 7 (13:06) So now we've... Now we're Speaker 5 (13:08) all Speaker 7 (13:10) caught up on Orange County, and here we are on season 20, episode 13, titled Don't Look Now. It's too late. We've already been in for 12 episodes. Speaker 7 (13:23) That's just the producer saying, sorry, we've tried. We can't make anything out of this season. Don't look now. It's too late. Speaker 5 (13:28) They're not going to. They're like, you know what we should do? Bring Alexis back. And she's like... Speaker 5 (13:35) I'm so mad right now. Just get rid of Alexis already. Get rid of her. We Speaker 7 (13:40) tried. This is actually, in many ways, this is a great episode to recap here because we have so many cameos later in the episode. I mean, hello, this is a great, this is the Lynn Curtin comeback episode, the Quinn Frye comeback episode. I Speaker 5 (13:54) know. Speaker 7 (13:55) Did they say anything? No, but that's okay. They Speaker 6 (13:57) didn't do anything. Speaker 5 (13:57) And I wonder if they do something in real life and it's just cut. Because every time they cut to one of the ladies, it's like, oh Speaker 4 (14:03) my God, it's Lynn. Speaker 5 (14:05) And she's like, so. Hi. Speaker 5 (14:08) Weekdays, am I right? Speaker 7 (14:11) Why am I obsessed with Lynn Curtin after all these years? I don't understand it. Is anyone else strangely obsessed with her? Speaker 5 (14:17) She made cups. Speaker 7 (14:20) She just was so sort of blank. And I just love that. Speaker 5 (14:25) Lynn Curtin was amazing. She's like, I invented cuffs. Speaker 3 (14:30) Things Speaker 5 (14:30) you put on your wrist. You could see the tape behind them and the hot glue. People are like, wow, what a Speaker 6 (14:36) comfortable piece of jewelry. Cuff love. I like that. It's not made of salmon, but that's okay. Speaker 5 (14:45) So we open at Rodeo River, or is it Rodeo? I think it's Orange County, so it's Rodeo, right? Speaker 7 (14:53) Yeah, it's Orange County, so it's probably like Rodeo. Rodeo River. Speaker 5 (14:57) Rancho Speaker 4 (14:57) San Rodeo. Rancho San Rodeo. Capistrano. Speaker 5 (15:01) Yeah, because even in L.A., there's a Rodeo, but then there's also a Rodeo. Yeah, Speaker 7 (15:06) we have... Because, why not? It's literally spelled the same way, pronounced two different ways, in the same city, a mile away from each other. Heather Speaker 5 (15:13) lives by Rodeo. Gina lives by Rodeo, for those of you not local. It's Speaker 3 (15:18) true. It's where the poors go. Speaker 5 (15:23) So we're there with Gina, Shannon, and who else is here? Emily? Gina is sort Speaker 7 (15:28) of like a Rodeo clown, if you think about it. Oh my god, Speaker 6 (15:31) there's a bull. I feel bad for Speaker 7 (15:35) the bull. Speaker 5 (15:37) So they're teasing Shannon because Shannon brought that guy Doug to her luau party, her couple's luau party. Speaker 1 (15:44) Me and Doug, we're just friends. Hey, Doug, we're going to play a game where we put a coconut down at our ankles and then Doug has to get the coconut up to our mouth with his penis. All right, Doug. We're just Speaker 3 (15:57) friends. We're just friends. Speaker 1 (16:06) Just friends with Doug. Outrageous. Speaker 6 (16:09) Outrageous content for America. Save the season. That Speaker 5 (16:13) was funny, too. And Tamra and Eddie did it in two seconds. Next. Speaker 7 (16:19) I was afraid they were going to show Sandy and her boyfriend doing it after that. Oh, Speaker 5 (16:23) my God. Yeah. Ben has missed two weeks of Real Housewives of Orange County due to travel and stuff. So you didn't even get to talk about that. Last week when Tamara's mom, Sandy, was in the kitchen, it was like 10 generations of Tamara or whatever. I know. Speaker 5 (16:38) And Sandy was wearing matching glasses to her shirt, which I thought was really cute. But every time I see Sandy, I just think of that scene when Tamara's like, Speaker 1 (16:47) Hey, ma'am, love you staying with me. I heard your headboard banging while you were fucking the guy from the Costco. Speaker 5 (16:55) And then sure enough, Sandy brings in the Costco sample dude that she's been banging. And Speaker 7 (17:00) he's dressed in like Abercrombie and Fitch and like has like a backwards baseball cap. And I'm like, what has happened here? Speaker 5 (17:06) Okay, so the point is we're at a shitty restaurant in Orange County, as usual. And Gina's like, oh, Speaker 1 (17:14) Shannon, so are you sure there's nothing going on with Doug? What's going on with Doug? Speaker 1 (17:20) I Speaker 6 (17:20) mean, we went on a date, and it was lovely. Did he order me something that had a bit too much sugar? Yes. Was I concerned about my calories? Yes. Was my sodium level high afterwards? Yes. Did I have some swelling in my ankles the next day? Yes. Was there also some resentment because of it? Yes. But I think we're off to a great start. Yeah. Speaker 5 (17:38) Just friends. And Gina's like, well, that's a great Speaker 1 (17:42) story, but I want to talk about Carmella. I felt so bad because she got upset with Vicky for calling it trash, but then Vicky was the victim at the end of the night. Vicky wouldn't even acknowledge that she did anything wrong. Speaker 7 (17:55) By the way, this may be a new record for Gina with like 15 seconds into the episode and she already said, I felt really bad for Carmella. I Speaker 6 (18:03) feel Speaker 7 (18:03) bad. Speaker 5 (18:04) I Speaker 4 (18:04) feel so Speaker 5 (18:05) bad. I Speaker 4 (18:05) feel bad. Speaker 4 (18:08) And so much fun at you, I feel bad, buddy. Speaker 7 (18:12) So the big news is that there's going to be a Persian party, courtesy of Emily's in-laws. And so I was like, is Vicky going to be at the Persian party? A question on everyone's minds, am I right? Speaker 5 (18:23) Who's gonna come to the Persian party and how is Emily even still invited to these parties? They clearly hate Emily now, right? Speaker 7 (18:30) Emily's mother-in-law has been making a play at replacing her on this show for eight years now I'm at this point like just give Perry the slot kick Emily off. It's fine She Speaker 5 (18:40) deserves it very and all that Perry's put up with Remember how Emily's first season, she's like, Shane Speaker 3 (18:47) doesn't appreciate my body, so I'm going to go to a strip show in Las Vegas and my in-laws are going to come. Speaker 5 (18:54) She's up there like, and Perry and her husband are just like. Speaker 7 (19:03) Emily's like, I sometimes worry about Shane and if he's truly happy. I'm like, please worry about me and if I'm truly happy watching you. Speaker 5 (19:13) Spoiler alert, Shane is not happy. Shane has never been happy. You could hold it. You have never been happy. You and Shane are miserable people and that's why you're together. Just accept it. I'm not going to be with a happy person. Fuck that. I've had happy people in my home. They're disgusting. Speaker 5 (19:34) I will settle down when I find someone as miserable as me to share a couch with. I want someone there when you're like, fuck that person. They're like, Speaker 1 (19:41) aww, but they're probably going through something. Speaker 5 (19:45) Get the fuck out of here. This is my house. Speaker 3 (19:49) Well, you can only feel those emotions for so long before you get to the point where you just don't feel anymore. Speaker 7 (19:56) I'm like literally me every year when they announce her coming back to the show. Speaker 3 (20:01) We're completely numb. We're Emily numb. They're like, Speaker 7 (20:03) coming back for season 45, Emily Simpson. I'm like, I don't feel things anymore. Speaker 5 (20:09) She's going to outlast everybody. She's going to be fucking Emily and Gina. You guys, I'm a mess. Look at me. Speaker 5 (20:16) I've got a phone I'm recording off of, another one I'm going through text messages on, just because I've had some notes on there. A fucking iPad that's bigger than a house. Speaker 7 (20:27) Because you set up your Adirondack chair incorrectly. Look, I gave him a little Adirondack chair for his iPad. Here, we're Speaker 5 (20:34) going Speaker 7 (20:34) to fix it. This will be great for people listening at home. All Speaker 5 (20:36) right. Speaker 3 (20:37) Yeah, make Speaker 7 (20:37) it more vertical. All right. Speaker 5 (20:40) But the problem is I start poking it, and then I knock it over Speaker 6 (20:43) again. Speaker 5 (20:43) And then you feel bad. Jesus. I'm so sorry. Okay, guys. You guys are like, is he really? Is ADD in real life? Is he? Yes. I really am. I'm just up here squirming, squirming. Speaker 4 (20:55) Mom, which phone should I have? Speaker 5 (20:56) Oh, by the way, when I did look through this, there was a Facebook post from my neighborhood in Texas. It's called Spicewood. And there's a picture of a cow. And it says, anybody missing their cow? It's in my yard. Speaker 7 (21:14) Is the cow going to the person party later? Speaker 5 (21:17) The cow looks happier than Shane. Speaker 5 (21:22) So they talk about Shane and Emily's miserable. We know. We've been here for years with you. So then we go to a prenuvo scan. Speaker 1 (21:30) Hey, can I get a scan from the head to toe? What Speaker 5 (21:34) do they even find on you, Tamara, when they scan your ass from head to toe? Speaker 7 (21:40) Maybe this water bottle, some cans. Sparkies. You know, look, 20 years of Housewives. We are celebrating 20 years. by watching Tamara and Vicky get scanned for growths. So, it's fun. Speaker 5 (21:57) So, pre-novo, pre-nuvo, pre-novo. Pre Speaker 7 (22:01) -nueve. Speaker 5 (22:02) Pre-nueve. Bilingual. That's this, like, full body scan, and I think that they tell you things that could be wrong with you, but I don't think they're, like, doctors, so they just are like, well, you've got a growth here. I don't know, get that checked out. Now your armpit hair is a little bit longer than I could lead to, so we don't know what that's gonna lead to. Did you know that your belly button is back? Speaker 3 (22:23) I know! Speaker 7 (22:25) Well, I was concerned because they do this pre-novo thing and they're like, okay, we'll be back in 10 minutes with your results. I'll say 10 minutes. Speaker 7 (22:34) You better spend five fucking hours looking at my body. Yeah, I agree. Speaker 5 (22:37) Take more time. I know, 10 minutes. It's like when you go to the auto body place and they charge you all this money. You're like, that took you 10 minutes. Why is this $5,000? At least fake it. Like, make me get an Uber or a rental car or something. Speaker 7 (22:52) So, of course, Vicky is working from the prenuvo waiting room. I've got to work. Speaker 5 (22:58) Can I take my email inside Speaker 4 (23:00) the scan? I do not stop working. Speaker 5 (23:04) The scan's going over. It's like, bloop, you've got mail. She's still her AOL. Speaker