We ghost some tech bros with David Byrne

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

This episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! features host Peter Sagal and panelists Alonzo Bowden, Rachel Koster, and debutant Rob Anderson tackling this week's news through comedy games and a special interview

Key takeaways

• A Wired report reveals tech workers face dating stigma despite high salaries, prompting jokes about AI girlfriends and puffy vests.
• Senator Eric Schmidt confused the Atlanta Hawks with the Iowa Hawkeyes while testifying against special counsel Jack Smith regarding President Trump.

Main topics

• Tech bro dating stigma and AI companionship
• Senate hearing mix-up involving Senator Schmidt and Jack Smith

Notable quotes

If you see a tech bro, run for your life.

Conclusion

Listeners gain a humorous breakdown of the week's most talked-about news while

Transcript preview

Speaker 5 (0:00) A free press is a critical protection for we the people. The NPR network proudly upholds your First Amendment rights with independent journalism that answers only to you. Your support keeps our reporters on the ground holding power to account and the power to decide what's next for public media is yours. Give at donate.npr.org. Speaker 6 (0:28) From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm your judge and scorekeeper, Alzo Slade. I'm so judgy, teenage girls ask me for advice. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank Speaker 4 (0:47) you. Speaker 6 (0:49) Thank you everybody! Speaker 4 (0:53) I'm just going to say, I'm not going to shut you down because if I were in the audience, I'd be just as excited because we have such a great show for you. Later on, we are going to be talking to David Byrne. Speaker 4 (1:09) legendary musician and artist and founder of Talking Heads. In his honor, after tonight's show, we will be burning down the theater. But we want to talk to your head first, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Yes, hi. Hi, who's this? Speaker 8 (1:32) Lucy. Speaker 4 (1:33) Lucy, where are you calling from, Lucy? Speaker 8 (1:35) I'm calling from D.C., but I'm French from Luxembourg. Oh, Speaker 4 (1:39) wait a minute. If you're French from Luxembourg, doesn't that mean you're Luxembourgin? Speaker 8 (1:44) No, that means I'm an expat. Speaker 4 (1:46) Oh, I see. And what do you do now that you're here in D.C.? Speaker 8 (1:51) I work for a very big organization that aims to end poverty around the world. Speaker 4 (1:58) Wow. That's pretty great. Speaker 4 (2:03) Any schedule for that? Because you've been waiting. Speaker 8 (2:07) Well, we still want to have a job, right? Speaker 4 (2:09) Yeah, exactly. Right. Do it, do it, do it, but slowly enough that you can, you know, get to retirement. I get that. That's a good strategy. It works for everybody. Lucy, it's great to have you. Let me introduce you to our panel today. First up, she's a comedian. You can see most nights performing live somewhere in New York City. It's Rachel Koster. Speaker 7 (2:31) Hi, Lucy. Hi. Speaker 4 (2:33) Thank you for your hard work. Next, he's a comedian you can see at Punchline Houston, November 5th through the 7th, and Punchline Atlanta, November 20th to the 22nd. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Lucy. Speaker 4 (2:48) And making his debut on our panel today, he is a New York Times bestselling author whose pop culture commentary you can see on HBO, Hulu, and NBC. It is Rob Anderson. Hey, Lucy. Hi. I Speaker 2 (3:04) like your capitalistic approach to poverty. Speaker 4 (3:07) Well, Lucy, welcome to our show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time. Alzo Slade right here is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yes. Okay, your first quote is from a woman on TikTok. If you see a tech bro, run for your life. So the tech bros may seem to be running the world right now, but it turns out they're having trouble finding what? Speaker 4 (3:37) Oh, I'm going to need a hint. Well, the person who said run for your life from tech bros was a woman. Speaker 8 (3:44) Women. Yes. Speaker 4 (3:45) Gapes. Speaker 4 (3:48) Okay. Girlfriends, dates, spouses, partners. According to a report in Wired magazine, it is becoming harder and harder for tech bros to find dates. Today's women are quick to reject them for no other reason than that they are the worst people on earth. The article says even their gigantic salaries are not enough to overcome sort of the tech bro stigma. Guys. Just make up something about how you got all that money. No, no, no, no. I don't work for Anthropic. I embezzled it all from a children's hospital. Speaker 4 (4:26) But I don't Speaker 6 (4:27) think it's easy for a tech bro to hide his job. That little vest gives it away. Yeah, Speaker 4 (4:33) the puffy vest. Speaker 4 (4:36) One of these guys, this is true, that in order to seem more attractive and nicer to the woman he meets, instead of saying he works in tech, he says he works in AI. Dude, no. That's like saying, oh, I'm not a murderer. I'm more of a serial killer. Speaker 3 (4:54) But if he's an AI guy, does he really need a live woman? I mean, isn't... Isn't that what they're working on? Robots to replace them? Yeah, you may Speaker 4 (5:05) have a point. Speaker 3 (5:05) Imagine being turned down by the robot you created. Even the robot's like, yeah, no. Speaker 4 (5:15) All right. Here, Lucy, is your next quote. It is Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt in a hearing on Tuesday. You will go down in history as a total dirtbag. He was yelling at Jack Smith. That was the special counsel who had investigated whom? Your president? Speaker 6 (5:36) Oh, no, no, no. Speaker 4 (5:37) Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, Speaker 6 (5:42) no. Wait a minute. Uh Speaker 4 (5:43) -uh. It may be literally true, but you chose to live here. Yeah, you live here, Lucy. Exactly. Don't Speaker 6 (5:51) you Speaker 4 (5:51) dare. Speaker 8 (5:52) President Trump. Speaker 4 (5:53) Yes, President Trump. At a televised Senate hearing, Senator Schmidt accused Jack Smith back in 2024 of going to Atlanta to engage in a secret conspiracy against the president. The senator's proof? Texts about Smith going to an Atlanta Hawks basketball game. on a certain date. Because who doesn't say, I'm going to take a secret flight to Atlanta to advance my evil conspiracy, and I'd also like to take in an NBA game while I'm there. Turns out that Senator Schmidt was confusing the Atlanta Hawks with the Iowa Hawkeyes. Jack Smith, on that date, was actually watching Caitlin Clark playing basketball 700 miles away. Nevertheless, Senator Schmidt said that couldn't be true. Because gotcha, dirtbag, there's no such thing as women's basketball. Speaker 2 (6:48) So everybody, I mean, this went viral. It was all over the place. Did you guys see it, Rob? Did you see it? I saw a clip on TikTok, and I think a senator, I thought she was saying hot guys. Speaker 2 (7:01) So wait a minute. So Speaker 4 (7:02) you were talking about Senator Amy Klobuchar who corrected Senator Schmidt and chimed in and said, no, I don't think he was seeing the hawks in Atlanta. I think he was seeing the hawk eyes. And you heard her say... But Speaker 2 (7:12) the Speaker 4 (7:12) way she Speaker 2 (7:12) said hawk eyes and everyone went, oh, she got them. And I went, hawk eyes. But I was like on the same page, but on a completely different book. Yeah. At that time. Speaker 3 (7:25) Wasn't Caitlin Clark in the Iowa Hawkeyes like literally the most famous basketball player? Yes, Speaker 1 (7:31) she Speaker 3 (7:31) was in fact. It wasn't hard to look up a reason to be watching the Iowa Hawkeyes. They had the greatest women's basketball player in the country at the time. It seems he would go to that game as opposed to the Atlanta Hawks, a team on which you couldn't name one player. Speaker 3 (7:51) Thank you. Speaker 4 (7:55) All right, Lucy, your last quote is from a woman responding to a debate that broke out this week on the internet about babysitting. That's as good as stealing. That was one of the many, many people who went online this week to say that babysitters should not be paid for the time when they're doing what? Speaker 8 (8:17) Holding the baby because this is such a sweet thing to do. Speaker 4 (8:22) That's so sentimental. No, that's not it. The idea is for the babysitter that you're off the clock as soon as the lullaby ends. Speaker 8 (8:30) Oh, as soon as the baby sleeps? Speaker 4 (8:32) Yes. They believe, these people, that babysitters should not be paid or not be paid as much just for sitting around while the kids are asleep. This week, countless people went online to argue about this. How much should parents... pay babysitters once the kids go to sleep. The idea is that the babysitter should not get paid for just sitting on the couch watching TV. What? That's the job. Speaker 4 (8:58) So remember, okay, babysitters, under this new rule, to make the most money, just keep the kids awake until the parents get home. Speaker 3 (9:10) Actually... Speaker 4 (9:13) By any means necessary. Speaker 3 (9:15) That's what I was going to say. You know, the babysitter, just feed that kid candy. Yeah, exactly. Can you Speaker 6 (9:22) imagine the baby's nodding off and the babysitter's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Speaker 3 (9:27) Little slaps to the face. Nope, nope, nope. I don't have kids, but I have a dog now. I pay a dog sitter when I leave, and I know my dog sleeps 18, 19 hours a day. Right. I know, after she feeds and walks him, he's done. But I wouldn't not pay her. Then they just, why wouldn't they just leave? Like, all right, kid, I'm off the clock. See you later. Yeah, exactly. Also, how did Lucy Speaker 6 (9:55) do on our quiz? Lucy did great. Perfect score, three out of three. Congratulations, Lucy. Thank you so Speaker 4 (10:02) much for playing and take care. Speaker 4 (10:11) Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, question for you. Alonzo, more parents these days want their kids to have the same kind of experiences they had growing up, so they're taking their kids to playgrounds that are what? Unsafe? Exactly! Dangerous! Yes. Topping those kids up. This culture of overprotectiveness and obsessions about safety, it's making our kids too soft. Do you realize there are playgrounds nowadays without one single piece of metal to burn your leg on when it's sunny out? Terrible. So parents are taking kids to playgrounds that are designed to be dangerous, like a real one called The Yard in New York City, which has features strewn about it like hammers, a big old empty water tank, and this is true, used wheelchairs for the kids to play with. They get the wheelchairs from the people who used the playground last year and have healed up. Peter. Yes. Speaker 2 (11:12) That's just the projects. Speaker 2 (11:16) You know, when the cop slide went viral, the one in Boston, and then they shut it down the next day. Like, that is pretty safe compared to what things used to be. Yeah, a real slide is made Speaker 3 (11:27) of aluminum. Exactly. Speaker 2 (11:28) So Speaker 3 (11:28) when you slide down in the summer, you leave the skin on the slide. Exactly. Speaker 4 (11:33) Helps the kids molt Speaker 3 (11:34) so they Speaker 4 (11:34) can grow faster. Yeah. Speaker 4 (11:42) Coming up, our panelists find a great parking spot in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Speaker 5 (11:54) This week on the NPR Politics Podcast, a vibe check on election security. With barely a month left until the midterms, we're talking about vote by mail, the possibility of ICE at polling stations, and what the Trump administration is doing in the name of preventing fraud, which we know is not a widespread problem. Plus, the latest on how voters are feeling about all of that. Listen now on the NPR Politics Podcast. Speaker 8 (12:18) Austin Tice is an American journalist who disappeared over a decade ago. while reporting in Syria. And for years, we've been searching for him. This looks like a secret passage. I'm just pushing a door so you can get in. Go, go, go. Listen to Where Is Austin Tice from NPR's Embedded and BBC Radio 4 on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 5 (12:42) This fall, there are a lot of movies and TV shows on tap for you to see, and we're as excited for all of it to arrive as you are. On Pop Culture Happy Hour, we've got a guide to what's worth keeping on your radar. Listen via the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 6 (13:04) From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Rachel Koster, and Rob Anderson. And here again is your host at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Speaker 4 (13:20) Alzo. Speaker 4 (13:25) Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game