Our panel goes on shore leave with Maggie Smith

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

In this live episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! from Huber Heights, Ohio, host Peter Sagal welcomes poet Maggie Smith and panelists Annie Rauwerda,

Key takeaways

• The episode highlights how military personnel face extreme conditions during long deployments, making brief shore leaves a highly anticipated event.

Main topics

• Military life and shore leave experiences
• Wellness culture and the rise of medical injections

Notable quotes

"The sailors are not allowed to go to the red light district... or for some reason, they can't do any jet skiing."

"It's illegal to stage a production of the king and I in Thailand. No, really? It's true."

Conclusion

The episode wraps with a humorous look at future societal trends, imagin

Transcript preview

Speaker 6 (0:00) As the political landscape shifts beneath our feet, we're all vulnerable to a well-funded distraction economy determined to take our eye off the ball. Our weekly politics series, If You Can Keep It, is here to help, where our focus is not the horse race, but the state. We tackle the big political stories of the day and why they matter for our democracy. Join me, Todd Zwilich. And me, Jen White, on the 1A Podcast from WAMU and NPR. Speaker 7 (0:28) From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm your judge and scorekeeper, Alzo Slade. But my friends, they just call me your honor. And here's your host at the Rose Music Center in Huber Heights, Ohio, Peter Sagal. Speaker 8 (0:55) show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to America's favorite poet, Maggie Smith. But first, I want to say how delighted we are to be here just outside Dayton, Ohio. And I mean that because between flight delays and cancellations, we almost didn't make it here. It's like Dayton is the birthplace of flight, and they've decided Speaker 1 (1:19) no one else can have it. Speaker 1 (1:23) I'm going to recommend that you join us here by phone to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Ames from West Orange, New Jersey. West Orange, New Jersey. My native grounds. What do you do there? I'm a public policy lawyer at a think tank in New York City. Oh, wow. So you're coming up with really good ideas to improve society that will never, ever, ever be used. Hey, we have high hopes. And I'm also playing today, hopefully as a surprise to win for my dad, who's a longtime fan of the show. Oh, really? That's exciting. Was your dad, we've been around for a while, did your dad force you to listen to the show when you were a child? Way back in the Carl Castle days. Yeah, yeah. And so is this your thanks to him for doing that or your revenge? Speaker 8 (2:21) Thank you, and many more. Oh, well, that's great. Well, welcome to the show, Ames. Let Speaker 1 (2:24) me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, she is the brains behind the internet goldmine Depths of Wikipedia. You can follow her on socials at Depths of Wikipedia. It's Annie Rauwerda. I do follow you. Great to see you. Hello. Next, he's the host of the Coastal Idiots podcast and will be appearing at the Comedy Studio in Cambridge, Massachusetts on September 12th. It's Shane Torres. Speaker 8 (2:52) And... He's a correspondent for CBS Sunday Morning. It's our old friend Mo Rocca. Speaker 3 (2:59) Hi, James. Speaker 1 (3:04) So, Ames, welcome to the show. You're going to start us off with who's Alzo this time. Alzo Slade right here is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. Your job is to correctly identify or explain two of them. Do that, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready. Your first quote, then, is a sign at a bar in Thailand. Speaker 7 (3:28) Attention, soldiers. The beer you deserve Speaker 1 (3:30) is here. The bar put up that sign because what just showed up at a port in Thailand after a record-setting nine months at sea? Would that be the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln? It is Speaker 8 (3:42) the USS Abraham Lincoln. Very good. After an Speaker 1 (3:47) unprecedented deployment, the aircraft carrier just finally made port in Pattaya, Thailand. And let me tell you. There is not a missile on board that can do as much damage as 5,000 sailors who just got their first shore leave in nine months. We've all seen the stories of deteriorating conditions on the ship. The captain said at this point the boat, quote, looks like a dirty car in a parking lot, unquote. So the sailors on board are excited to try all the amenities Thailand has to offer, like enough food and working restrooms. Boy, Speaker 3 (4:24) that must have been some poopy poop deck. Speaker 3 (4:30) That poor aircraft carrier. I never thought that an aircraft carrier could have it worse than the president it was named for. That's true. It's treated worse. Speaker 3 (4:44) Other than that, Speaker 1 (4:45) Mrs. Lincoln, how was the cruise? There are rules. They can't just go nuts. There are rules for this, surely. This is true. The sailors are not allowed to go to the red light district in town. Or for some reason, they can't do any jet skiing, right? But they are encouraged to check out the area's museums and religious sites. For example, they can go to the brand new Museum of Prostitution. Speaker 1 (5:14) Why are you looking at me? I Speaker 8 (5:16) mean, Speaker 1 (5:19) did you know this, by the way, that apparently, even though Thailand is known for it, prostitution is actually illegal? Speaker 2 (5:28) Everything's illegal. No, Speaker 1 (5:29) even Speaker 3 (5:29) the king and I, it's illegal to stage a production of the king and I in Thailand. No, really? It's true. That's not funny, it's just interesting. Speaker 7 (5:36) Right. But you can grammatically stage the king and me. That's acceptable. Speaker 1 (5:42) That's how you get around it. The worst thing you can do in Thailand is have a bunch of prostitutes perform the king and I. Speaker 4 (5:50) I just think it's so funny to think that the king and I and prostitution are both, like if they're both in jail. Like, what are you in for? Singing. Speaker 6 (6:01) Yeah. Speaker 3 (6:02) Yeah, and when somebody sings getting to know you in prison, it's not something you want to hear. Getting to know all about you. No, please stay away. Here's your... And Speaker 7 (6:15) here is your next quote. We are a culture running full tilt toward little metal spikes. That Speaker 1 (6:22) was a New York Times writer talking about how Americans are all suddenly very comfortable voluntarily getting pricked with what? A vaccine? Not actually. It's the only thing they're not doing is vaccines. Now that you mention it. But everything else they're getting through what? Shots. Yeah, needles. Exactly. Whether it's Botox, wellness, vitamin cocktails, fillers, or simply good old heroin, America loves getting shots now. Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Harry Styles have led the way by promoting their own wellness injection journeys. You can't argue with the results. Both of them are still alive. Speaker 3 (7:05) But I wonder if it's, what celebrity would be the easiest to find a vein on? Because that's the whole, I'm just wondering, because that's the whole challenge, right? Like it's harder, you don't like needles if it's hard to find a vein. Speaker 1 (7:17) Yeah, well, I think you just need to check the last issue of People Magazine with America's most vascular celebrities. Speaker 4 (7:25) I want to go back to the point about the celebrities. are endorsing their own wellness shots. So it's like on brand for Gwyneth Paltrow to have like a lavender skin shot or whatever. I want to know the trashy, like the jelly roll donut cake shot. Or like somebody I would take a shot. Somebody Ohioans would take a shot. Speaker 4 (7:51) All right, Ant, here is your Speaker 7 (7:52) last quote. She inspires a lot of girls because she has 150 careers. That was someone in line at a Speaker 1 (7:59) book signing for a new novel about whom? Speaker 7 (8:02) Oh, Speaker 1 (8:03) my gosh. Speaker 8 (8:05) I'm going to ask for a hint one more time. Speaker 1 (8:07) Well, she's probably had more than 150 careers, and you can buy her in any of their costumes. Oh, that's definitely Barbie. It is Barbie, yes. Barbie Dreamscape. Is an instant number one New York Times bestseller. It's the first Barbie book aimed at young adults, but it has found an audience with lots of regular, lame, old adults. The book tells what happens when Barbie graduates from Barbie school and is not assigned a job, right? So instead of being, say, Dr. Barbie or race car driver Barbie, she's just failure to launch Barbie. Wow. And it's a crisis for her because there's no Barbie Dreamhouse, but there is a Barbie nightmare apartment with a mouse problem. Hey, Speaker 2 (8:50) Barbie, just keep at it and soon you'll end up on the panel of Wait, Wait, Don't Speaker 1 (8:53) Tell Me. But apparently people are like really into this. They're into Barbie facing real issues like, well, she's always had relatable struggles with body image. Like, ladies, don't you hate it when your head pops off? Speaker 1 (9:08) But the thing is, so there's this kind of nostalgia among adults to read about their childhood icons as adults. And so there are other possibilities. Like, it's finally time for the very depressed caterpillar. Speaker 7 (9:23) On Speaker 1 (9:24) Monday, Speaker 8 (9:25) he ate through one leaf. And on Tuesday, he didn't feel like he could eat anything. Speaker 3 (9:29) The slinky with spinal stenosis. Can't even get down the steps. Speaker 8 (9:34) I'm just imagining a slinky having to use one of those little electric chairs going down the stairway. Oh, yeah, you know. When Speaker 3 (9:43) I was Speaker 8 (9:43) your age. Yeah, I haven't been able to do that for a while. Speaker 3 (9:46) Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and died. Speaker 7 (9:53) This is getting real soggy. Speaker 1 (9:55) Yeah. Speaker 1 (9:57) Alzo, how did Ames do on our quiz? Speaker 7 (10:00) Ames made his father proud. He got three out of three. Perfect score. Speaker 1 (10:05) Well Speaker 8 (10:08) done, Ames. I hope that pleases your father. Thank you, Peter. Thank you, Alzo, Your Honor. Thank you. Take care. Speaker 1 (10:18) Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Mo, there's a new dating tactic among young men. They're bragging about it. They say that in order to be hotter and more attractive, they stop doing what? They stop showering. They stop showering. That's right, Mo. This is a new trend primarily among young men called pheromone maxing. And the idea, it's genius when you think about it, is if you stop showering, then you can attract people with your natural scent, right? Nothing says mysteriously but powerfully attractive like ripples of scent emanating off you, like heat waves off pavement, right? Dedicated pheromone maxers don't rely merely on their natural musk. They also are learning how to inflate their colorful throat sacs. Speaker 7 (11:10) Can Speaker 2 (11:10) I just say for the listeners at home, there are looks of disgust and dry heaves in the crowd right now. It's hot Speaker 3 (11:16) enough. But Speaker 7 (11:17) also for the listener at home, it's 90 degrees in here, so everybody's musty. Oh, yeah. Everybody's hooking up tonight. Speaker 2 (11:24) Okay, sounds like a pheromone mixer. Yeah, the Speaker 7 (11:26) pheromones Speaker 8 (11:27) are sticking the air here at Speaker 4 (11:28) the Rose Speaker 8 (11:29) Music Center. Speaker 4 (11:32) So this pheromone maxing is just not bathing. Yes. Yeah. So this is like when Uber came out and they're like, it's not taxi, it's ride share. Like they're just kind of, they're selling us something we already have. Exactly. Wow. Speaker 3 (11:44) The USS Abraham. My God. Can you imagine? That port of call must have been crazy. What a den of lust Speaker 4 (11:51) it Speaker 3 (11:52) must be. Speaker 1 (11:57) Coming up, our panelists clutch their pearls at the fruit farm in our beloved listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO. Speaker 6 (12:13) This week on Newsmakers, after more than a decade in comedy, I wasn't sure that we would get here. Robbie Hoffman is fearless. I had a small feeling I wasn't sure. And fully herself. My landlord. Speaker 3 (12:26) Hello? Speaker 6 (12:26) You can go ahead and flash. Speaker 3 (12:28) Well, I'm not home now. Speaker 6 (12:30) I'm doing something. We plunge into comedy and success with Robbie Hoffman on NPR's Newsmakers. This is Terry Gross, host of Fresh Air. I interviewed feminist icon Gloria Steinem several times over the years, and we've compiled a special episode to celebrate her life and legacy. Women become ourselves after 50. We drop a lot of baggage and really become much more our true selves. Find it on the NPR app or wherever you listen to Fresh Air. Billionaire Mark Cuban has stared into the belly of the beast of America's health care system. I mean, it's so bad. You can go through a long list of really quality hospitals and they don't know their costs. So can Medicare for All be a solution? We