First Crushes & First Bus Rides

Untraditionally Lala

In this heartfelt episode of 'Unlikely Affair,' co-hosts Lala and Ambyr reflect on the bittersweet transition of their daughters entering a

Key takeaways

• Emotional stability often comes from within rather than external environments.

Main topics

• Adjusting to a new living situation
• Parental reflections on children's milestones

Notable quotes

"Peace starts within. And I associated and I clung on to my piece being in Montana so tightly that I'm like, Amber, you have to create that same environment."

Conclusion

The episode closes with an acknowledgment of impermanence and emotiona

Transcript preview

Speaker 5 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Speaker 1 (0:02) Guaranteed human. Speaker 1 (0:31) wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 7 (0:33) It's the US Open, which means the tennis world is about to lose its mind, and I'm here for every second of it. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast as I break it all down. The matches that matter, the drama that doesn't, and the stories everyone's talking about. No cliches, no sugarcoating, just host analysts from someone who's actually been there. Coco looking real good. Her serve looks so much smoother than it has in the past. I was really happy to see... eager back to what she looked like a couple of years ago when she was winning dominantly. Listen to the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey Speaker 5 (1:10) there, everybody. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes here from the Amy and TJ Podcast. We're going to cover everything you need to know during this heated political season. Speaker 6 (1:18) Yes, we just saw Lindsey Graham, the death of a longtime senator. Also, we've got a couple of missing. Members of Congress. Also, we got a lot of members of Congress behaving badly. We got accusations, allegations flying all day long on Capitol Hill. Speaker 5 (1:32) Listen to Amy and TJ on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Speaker 1 (1:39) On August 4th, 1962, Marilyn Monroe died. Then the rumors started and she died again. And now we're going to set the record straight and learn about the way Marilyn Monroe actually died. The third way. I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Hollywoodland, I revisit some of the biggest stories from Hollywood history, separating the myths people want to believe from the reality underneath them. Hollywoodland is part of the Exactly Right Network. Listen to new episodes every Monday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 5 (2:15) Self-Care September is your reminder to slow down, check in with yourself, get off your phone, and maybe ask, Why am I like this? I'm Gemma Spegg, host of the Psychology of Your 20s podcast, and this month we're helping you make sense of the person that you are becoming, from setting boundaries and navigating friendships, to understanding anxiety, confidence, relationships, and attachment. Sometimes our biggest decisions, without us even realizing it, aren't driven by what we truly want, but by what will prevent us from feeling lonely or being alone. Listen to The Psychology of Your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 4 (2:57) Hi, Amber. Speaker 5 (2:58) Hi, Lola. Speaker 2 (2:59) Welcome to An Unlikely Affair. Speaker 2 (3:05) Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Speaker 3 (3:07) another episode of Unlikely Affair. Good morning, darling. Speaker 4 (3:11) Good morning. Is this the first time we've recorded in this room together? It is. It sure is. Usually it's Speaker 2 (3:18) Easton. Speaker 4 (3:19) I've only done it here with Easton and myself. Speaker 2 (3:21) It's kind Speaker 3 (3:22) of fun. Speaker 4 (3:22) It's fine. Speaker 2 (3:23) It's like it's not the same as the studio, but no, it's not. This week, Speaker 3 (3:27) we'll take it. We'll take what I can get. Speaker 2 (3:30) That's for sure. Not complaining right now in life. Speaker 4 (3:32) By the way, before we jump into like back to school and stuff, because it's the second week of the kids being back. Are we like. Speaker 4 (3:42) This is such a dumb question because I know the answer. Are we feeling somewhat settled? You're funny. You're Speaker 3 (3:50) funny. You found a place to live. I did. I did. I found a place to live. Okay. So last night, this is hysterical. I was like Goldilocks and the three bears. No joke. It was, I actually started laughing and then I started getting irritated. So I started off in my bed. That's a mattress on the floor. Okay. Unfortunately, the house next to me, they have floodlights. So one window, the floodlight was coming through. The other window on the opposite side of my bedroom, the moon was shining. And it's so beautiful. And I love the moon. But it was like shining directly into my window. Because you don't have any fixtures in there. No, I don't have any blinds and curtains. And so I ordered curtains, but I just somehow can't seem to nail down a handyman. I have the best. You do? Yeah. Oh God, I'm so glad I just said something. Okay, so I need his number ASAP. Then I went into Riley's room where she does have a bed, but this is gonna sound so crazy. So I'm terrified of the dark and there's the outside floodlight on my house. It's right above this like cactus looking plant and it cast a shadow on the roof of the bedroom. So it looks like a monster's like coming. And I was like, dude, this sucks. fuck this place. Give me back to Montana. I was getting very upset. And then I was like, you know what? The couch seems like a nice place. Speaker 2 (5:14) I literally ended up sleeping on the couch. You love a good couch moment. But who knew? Like who knew? So I'm settled, but I'm not emotionally settled. Do you think that's ever going to happen for us though? No. I'm settled too, but like emotionally, I feel very unstable. I was so not well last night. I didn't sleep at all. Like, I did not sleep at Speaker 3 (5:40) all. But that's okay. I'm here with you. I get to do the podcast. Riley's happy. My ex is happy. Our ex is happy that she's back. I'm trying to have a better attitude in life. So just fucking go with it for a second. Because right now, I'm really missing Montana. Yeah. Like, really missing. Actually. I'm also missing my stuff. Speaker 4 (6:04) You know, I just want my stuff. I wonder if once your stuff is here, you won't miss Montana as much. Because if you, yes, you had like a life out there, but it was only a life that was built over the past year. Now. your sister lived there, which was like, home is just where your heart is, which is like family, right? Speaker 3 (6:27) Yeah. But like my family's not, yes, Autumn's there and my nephew's there and I'm, and I miss them dearly, but I really think that like, I have to be able to find my peace here. Like peace is, this sounds so dumb and so cliche, but peace starts within. And I associated and I clung on to my piece being in Montana so tightly that I'm like, Amber, you have to create that same environment, which starts with my morning routine. Like I don't have my journal. I did say my prayers this morning. I'm like, I can't like kneel down and say them because my mattress is on the floor and I'm like on account. That's fucking weird. So I was like, all right, God, we're just talking to you from bed today. And I need to like, I'm working out with my trainer and that feels really, really good just to be moving my body. So like, I just need to get into my routine, but Speaker 2 (7:21) yeah. And your Speaker 4 (7:23) trainer's hot. Thank you. When Jenna is gone, cause she's doing a retreat, she does them like. Once or twice a year. Out of the country. And I'm like. I will be taking this opportunity. Because you can't even do it via Zoom. It's like a retreat. Where from morning until night. They're doing things. Yeah. And you guys are going to Speaker 2 (7:42) be Speaker 4 (7:42) on the opposite time zone. Yes. Which. Sometimes we make that work. We did it when she was in Spain. It was weird. Don't love it. Speaker 3 (7:51) Well you're working on the Speaker 2 (7:52) morning. And she's working out at night. Before bed. Or like she's training you. That bothers me too. I'm like, I Speaker 4 (7:57) don't like Speaker 2 (7:57) that you're up right now. Speaker 4 (7:58) It's bothering me. Your eyes should be closed. Why are you pumping weights? I was like, I'm taking this opportunity to work out with this hot man. Speaker 2 (8:08) Yeah, Jake is amazing. And he's great with kids too. Really good with kids. As in like a stepfather? Speaker 3 (8:17) Good. We love that. Every time I introduce you to someone, I get in trouble by Lisa. Why? What does she say? Well, remember the first one that I introduced you to and she gave me this lecture in the Speaker 2 (8:27) kitchen? Oh, the rapper. Speaker 3 (8:29) Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:30) She was not happy about that. I said, Lisa, Speaker 3 (8:32) that was just a distraction. That was not, I Speaker 2 (8:35) wasn't thinking like, yes, this could be her guy. This could be the stepfather to your grandchildren. Speaker 3 (8:39) She Speaker 4 (8:40) doesn't Speaker 2 (8:40) know how to wrap her mind around that. Speaker 4 (8:42) Because she. Had a high school boyfriend who got into a horrendous car accident. I think he was the love of her life, obviously, until she met my dad. Horrendous car accident because his friend was drunk driving. Speaker 4 (9:00) he was hooked up. Like he, he had significant brain damage and was paralyzed. So like he couldn't talk, walk. Like that's how she lost the first love of her life. Then met my dad, then got married, never lived on her own, never had a struggle. Yes. She lost her boyfriend and she also lost my dad. I acknowledge that. But I mean like the struggles that you and I go through where like your heart is involved and then it doesn't work out. You got to have a distraction. She doesn't understand that. Yeah. Yeah. Like with the rapper, she was like, I just don't. It was World War III in this household. Over this fucking rapper. I created World Speaker 2 (9:38) War III. Speaker 4 (9:38) She's Speaker 2 (9:38) like, Speaker 4 (9:38) I just don't see Speaker 2 (9:39) him Speaker 4 (9:39) being the stepfather to these kids that you need. I'm like, what the? No, mom. Neither do I. No shit. Speaker 3 (9:47) He's a good time. He's a good time. He Speaker 2 (9:50) is really sweet though. I do. I do really admire how sweet he is. Speaker 4 (9:53) I just, the whole fucking thing. Anyway. Yes. I don't even know how we went on that tangent. Oh, the guy, the guy, the hot, the hot trainer. Yeah. Michelle works out with him now too. Yeah. Yeah. I see that. I see. She's all up in the gym working on that front nurse. Oh my gosh. Speaker 3 (10:10) He killed me the other day. I texted him. I was like, Jake, I, I, I can't lift heavy weights like that. Like you have to go slow. He thinks I'm, I don't know. It's, but it's good. I'm glad. And I need it for my mental health. So as long as I stay on my routine, I continue to develop. I need to get it by a journal. I'm going to go to target. I have to go to Costco to buy a stupid vacuum. Oh, it's just like these little things that you realize that you're like, I need, and I took for granted and I actually need to go out now and purchase them again. Again, like Riley, for instance. So Riley. Comes home in Montana every day after school. She gets her dino nuggies. She gets her frozen french fries. She's Speaker 2 (10:46) eating dino nuggets? By Speaker 3 (10:48) the way, they slap. They Speaker 2 (10:49) are so good. She's a creature of habit Speaker 3 (10:52) since she was like three. And so she makes them. And now I'm like, oh my God, today after school, I panicked last night and I went on Amazon and I ordered like, I love, that's the other difference between Amazon and Montana. And here is that Montana takes like. three or four days to get something. You could have something the same day, if not the next morning from like 4 a.m. to 8 a.m. And I pulled out of my driveway to come over here and her air fryer was here. So she's going to be very excited coming home from school. Oh Speaker 4 (11:18) yeah, it's Speaker 3 (11:18) going to be Speaker 4 (11:18) crispy. Speaker 3 (11:19) Oh yeah, yeah. I get very overwhelmed when I go and buy stuff on Amazon because there's a thousand different options. And now I like contemplate which one to buy. So I think I just bought the same air fryer that I have in Montana. Speaker 2 (11:34) That's good. Speaker 3 (11:34) Anyways, the little things. Is she liking school? Speaker 3 (11:39) I think so. So something that's really funny, this is, she's going back. Obviously the kids have to wear a uniform and the first three days she, you know, it was free dress day and she wore a spaghetti strap, which. Oh wait, I saw her that day. I Speaker 2 (11:53) would have never let her wear this. I thought I told you she was in a tank top. Is a tank top different than a spaghetti strap? Well, like this, what I'm wearing right now, this is a tank top. Hers was thinner than this. Right. It just like shows her bra. Okay. So she wore that. Speaker 3 (12:08) And she's like, they said we couldn't wear things like that. And I was like, yeah, you can't. You can't. When I was in school and I went to public school, you couldn't wear that kind of stuff. And she's like, they're so sexist. And she's been using this word sexist for the last probably week. So I don't know if she heard this from another friend or, and I'm like, why does that, why are they? why are you calling them sexist? Because you can't, they have rules and you don't want to follow the rules. And she's like, yeah, but the boys get to wear whatever they want. And they have like their ass crack is showing. And I was like, okay, Speaker 2 (12:40) so like, how do I approach this as a mom? It's a little double standard. Because women are sexualized. Yeah. That's what it is. Speaker 4 (12:48) A man can walk around with his full body hanging out and women can control themselves and be like, oh, his whole body's hanging out. Not the appropriate time to be looking or commenting or any of the above. Boys see a spaghetti strap. And they get a hard-on. And they can't even function. I know. That's the difference. We're mature creatures. We can't control them. So we have to focus on what we can control, which is ourselves. I think the other thing you should point out is. You may have seen boys wearing that. They could have said the same thing to the boys. You can't dress like that. Right. They could have called, like, I'm sure they didn't walk up to the boys and say, everyone, I'm letting you know