289: Biggest Opp!

Two Hot Takes

The hosts explore a collection of Reddit stories centered around 'biggest ops,' or individuals acting as rivals and enemies within personal

Key takeaways

• A neurodivergent individual faced backlash for describing a friend's newborn as 'alien-ish' with bulging eyes.
• An engineering intern's boyfriend used his higher pay and perks to intentionally belittle his partner during their relationship.

Main topics

• Relationship red flags
• Gaslighting and manipulation

Notable quotes

Don't tell someone something unless it's something they can fix in a few seconds.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a cautionary exploration of toxic relationship d

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) I will tell you right now, if we get to a million subscribers on YouTube before we hit 300 episodes, I will do a 10 hour episode for episode 300. Oh my God. You get me to a million subscribers on YouTube before we hit episode 300. When is that? It's coming up. How many? Countdown Speaker 1 (0:25) begins, guys. This Speaker 2 (0:26) episode, this Speaker 1 (0:27) biggest op. I know you're going to do it with like multiple people and like chop it all up and stuff. But I just got the vision of just us locking ourselves in a room for like 10 hours and just going delirious. I could give you five hours. Speaker 2 (0:42) OK, so episode 300 is pretty soon, actually. I think it'll be before the end of 2026 because this episode will be. 289. Okay. Speaker 1 (0:55) So you have Speaker 2 (0:56) 11 Speaker 1 (0:57) episodes to get it to a million on YouTube. You'll get 10 hours. This is great gamification. This is like tell all of your friends. Tell your friends. Yeah. Tell your friends. Tell your mom. Tell your grandma. Whoever's got a YouTube channel. Wait, you're brilliant. Speaker 2 (1:10) I just want my plaque. Like I've worked really hard. I just want my plaque. I want my present. I just want my present! So yeah, that's that. This is going to be a really good episode. I'm really excited. We've got Lauren here. Speaker 1 (1:24) Welcome to the pumpkin patch, Lauren. It is pretty wild in with this. This is you were you were not joking. I was not messing around. I said this spooky Speaker 2 (1:34) Halloween, September, October vibe. I'm I'm hitting it Speaker 1 (1:39) hard. Do you like keep this stuff in a storage? Or how do you handle this? Or did you buy all this recently? This guy looks familiar. We know this guy. He's brand new. He's brand new? Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:51) For those listening, it is a ginormous pumpkin figure. He is, I believe, 46 or 48 inches tall. And he comes out of the ground and has arms that extend everywhere. Did you Speaker 1 (2:03) not have someone just like him last year? Speaker 2 (2:05) I had a skeleton dog. Speaker 1 (2:07) Oh, that was it. Skeleton dog. Speaker 2 (2:11) Yeah. Pumpkin Patch is a new theme this year. I really wanted to mix it up. Go big, not home. And yeah, here we are. I love that. I know. I really like it. I'm excited to show you guys because this might be the first episode you guys see the spooky patch. Yay. I know. Speaker 1 (2:30) Morgan, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say go big, not home, which is so shocking to me, but I love it. It's go big or go home, but I'm not going home. I'm going big. No, I know. It's not an option. But that's why I'm like, why have I not heard that before? Might have happened for the first time just here. Just now. I would love that. Speaker 2 (2:46) Right here. Right now. That is like a stim in my head constantly. But I'm just really excited to get into this episode. This is a concept I've been toying with for a while. And have you heard the phrase biggest op? Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (3:02) What do you feel like it is to you? What does it mean to you? Honestly. We have a friend who says it about things that are always funny, like a dog that's like barking at another dog. So that's what I think of. But I know that it's much bigger than that. A Speaker 2 (3:21) lot more angst to it. Yeah. Yeah. So for those that haven't heard the term before, biggest op is like your greatest rival, an enemy, a primary source of opposition. And there's so many times in these Reddit stories where this person is friends with their biggest op. That's, yeah. And you're just like, girl, like you got to run. This girl hates you. Or you're dating your biggest op. Yeah. This guy does not like you. I literally, I don't know how I ended up on this side of videos, but I keep getting the most disturbing videos of like people doing pranks and being like, there was this one prank going around where you would introduce your boyfriend to the camera. I was like, this is my friend. Speaker 1 (3:59) And Speaker 2 (3:59) these guys, it was like a compilation video. And all of these guys were like, your friend? And they'd like hit the girl with a pillow or like hit her in the face. And I'm like, this is fucking deranged. Speaker 1 (4:10) Like Speaker 2 (4:10) do not date. Do not be friends with. Do not associate with. Don't breathe air in the same room as your biggest op. If you feel someone's your op, you gotta go. You gotta be done. No matter what it is. So we're getting Speaker 1 (4:24) into stories today. I'm sorry. I'm trying to think if I would be upset if I was hit with a pillow. I think I'd be okay. Depends on how hard the hit was. I'm Speaker 2 (4:32) gonna Speaker 1 (4:32) show you the video. Okay, okay. I'm Speaker 2 (4:33) gonna Speaker 1 (4:33) show you Speaker 2 (4:34) the Speaker 1 (4:34) video. Speaker 2 (4:34) It was disturbing. But yeah, these stories all have an op and we get to determine who is who. Is it a big op or am I making small peanuts out of nothing? Speaker 1 (4:46) Big peanuts Speaker 2 (4:47) out of nothing? Speaker 1 (4:48) Ooh, that. Mountains out of molehills for sure. That's above my pay grade. Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:52) But I'm super excited. We've got wine. We've got pumpkins. We've got good vibes. It's a Friday. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Friday. Hey. Hey. I love a weekend. Speaker 1 (5:05) It's been a stressful past few weeks. Speaker 2 (5:07) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a stressful year. I'm fostering a dog right now and this dog is being my biggest op. I love him, but he's... Just... A little Speaker 1 (5:20) goofy. Speaker 2 (5:21) He's so cute, though. Inside, Speaker 1 (5:22) though, he's good. Inside the house, he's great. Yeah. The Speaker 2 (5:24) minute you walk out the front door, though. Speaker 1 (5:26) Yeah. Bad Speaker 2 (5:27) news bears. But it's all good. I'm going to help him find his next amazing home. Yeah. Okay. Are you ready? Speaker 1 (5:35) Mm-hmm. Speaker 2 (5:36) Let's dive in. Let's do it. Speaker 2 (6:32) This episode is presented by State Farm. There's impressive, like instantly winning over your boyfriend's parents. And then there's impressive, like being smart about saving money for your dream home or a sweet new ride. And a great way to do that is to bundle home and auto with the State Farm personal price plan. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Let's Speaker 1 (7:04) kick this off, okay? So this first one, Speaker 2 (7:07) coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my friend that her baby looks like an alien? Oof. And how soon after, too. Oh, gosh. My best friend of 15 years recently had a newborn baby boy. I went to visit her at the hospital. Her whole family was there, including her husband or baby daddy because they're not actually married. Side note. We had a fling in high school. Anyways, she asked me whether her baby was cute or not and told me to be as honest as possible because she couldn't tell since, of course, it's her own baby. Honesty has always been a policy in our friendship. In the past, I've always been honest with her, like whether an outfit was ugly or a haircut was bad, and she always admired that quality about me. So I thought, Why not be honest about this too? She did it to herself. I told her that at first he looked kind of alien-ish and that his head was a bit oversized. She laughed. Then my neurodivergent brain kind of got off track and I went into detail about his bulging eyes, long arms, and double chin, among other things. Bro. I kind of lost it a bit, and by the end, she was in tears. I just couldn't stop. I realized as she was holding him that she had really taken it to heart, and now I feel bad. She was pretty quiet at first, and then later told me to leave the room. I felt so bad. She was literally sobbing at this point. Later that day, I got a paragraph-long text from her telling me that she's never going to talk to me again and that I went too far this time. She said she thinks her baby is adorable and that I was way too brutal about her newborn blessing. Sure, I kind of feel bad, but she literally told me to be honest and I was. I gave my two cents because she asked and I don't think I should be blasted for telling the truth. Am I the asshole? Speaker 1 (9:14) You know... Speaker 1 (9:18) Here's the thing. I've come across people where, again, she laughed at first whenever OP said alien-ish. That's a normal Speaker 2 (9:26) thing. Speaker 1 (9:27) Right. A lot of people talk about that. Right. So then I'm thinking that is not that big of a deal. A lot of little babies are, and it's cute. It's a little squishy. I don't know. Whatever. So sometimes people talk in that type of language, but bulging eyes and scraggly arms are like, calm down like reel it in like what are you doing I don't know I just kind of think like yeah like you are you are the asshole you can still be honest and be tasteful about it I mean if that's your your relationship and you guys are like honesty is best policy and she's expecting you to like to not lie to her face you could still give like feel like you're not lying to her and then and still chill out you know I mean especially have a little bit of common sense this is Somebody who just gave birth. There's a lot of hormones involved. There's a lot of love involved. Like, chill out. What are you doing? What do you think? I'm completely Speaker 2 (10:24) on board with you. I'm a bit baffled that, well, we've always had an honest relationship. Have you? Or do you just say you're honest when in reality you're kind of actually a jackass? Because I've always been honest with her, whether it's a bad haircut or her outfit sucks. Like, I don't know. Like, I get... You want your friends to kind of help you if you really look hideous. But at the same time, like you you're kind of coming across like your opinion is so high and mighty. Yeah. And I'm like, this is her baby. Like, what's the point of dragging this baby? Like you dragged the fuck out of this baby. She can't send it back. Like, so you just traumatized her, said her baby is really, really ugly. Like, Speaker 1 (11:10) why not just lie? Or why not just end at alien? They say that there's a phrase. I'm not going to know it. You probably will botch it. Speaker 1 (11:20) But there's a phrase that goes along the lines of don't tell someone something unless it's something they can fix in a few seconds. Oh, we've talked about this. Yeah, I love that. It's just like if you want like a haircut. Okay, let's fix this a little bit. Let's push your bangs to the side because this is accentuating X, Y, Z. And then next time ask them for this type of cut. Cool, whatever. If that's what works for your relationship, great. But like if you were to like go in and be like, I hate your chin or like something like that, that's. You don't do that. Just don't do that. It's just not. There's no reason that that helps anyone unless they're literally like going into like a cosmetic surgery and they're showing you like these like pictures and they're like, do you like chin one or chin two? Then then fine. But like otherwise, shut up. Don't Speaker 2 (12:07) do it. I'm very, very confused how they've lasted 15 years. I also think like. Just in this post, too, there's so many subtle digs where she's even like, I went to visit her at the hospital. Her whole family was there, including her husband, parentheses, or baby daddy, because they're not actually married. Side note, we had a fling in high school. So basically, like, I had him first. I didn't Speaker 1 (12:35) want him. We had Speaker 2 (12:35) a fling in Speaker 1 (12:36) high school. Also, they're not even married. So, yeah. What? Why is Speaker 2 (12:43) that relevant to this story at all? Yeah. Again, do you like your friend? They're not even married. So it's just baby daddy. Yeah, no, Speaker 1 (12:52) that's... That baby was born out of wedlock. Ew. The fact that you would mention this actually in this post is so odd. And it's really making it seem like... Speaker 2 (13:04) A lot of Speaker 1 (13:05) jealousy. Speaker 2 (13:06) So much jealousy. She got the life that you wanted or Speaker 1 (13:10) something. I don't know, but something's off. Yeah. I do not blame her for being like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. I mean, clearly, again, Speaker 2 (13:20) as you mentioned, like hormones just had this baby, maybe had 30 hours of labor. And then you went through all that and someone says, your kid looks like shit. Like she was sobbing to the point of just tears. And I understand why you would need to at least take a break from the friendship. If not, end it for good. Top comment on this one. Obviously, you're the asshole laughing my ass off. Why did you even waste your time posting this? Next one down. The I'm not mean. I'm just honest. And I didn't mean to be mean. I'm just neurodivergent. Clubs need to be annihilated. And I will say a lot of people start picking up on that where it's like. Having anything, whether it's autism, ADHD, neurodivergency, mental health issues, whatever it is, like that's not an excuse to be mean or X, Y, Z to other people. Speaker 1 (14:18) Yeah, there's like you like if if they were to mention it and be like, I can't really tell because I'm wondering if this is a part like maybe something that's missing me. But I'm just. I feel like it came off very much as like an excuse. Like, why would I? Like, I'm in the clear. I didn't do anything wrong because... I'm just being honest. Yeah. So that's what's annoying. Speaker 2 (14:41) Next top comment. You're the asshole. She asked for honesty, not a full roast of her newborn. So true. Most babies look a little weird at first, but listing every feature after she was already laughing crossed into being hurtful. Being honest doesn't mean saying everything you think, especially to someone who's Speaker 1 (15:02) just given birth. The full roast comment, like, just actually makes me laugh because truly, like, it feels like one of those things that you see on TV where they're just, when they, like, go and, like, roast the celebrities. Just is like, that's not what, I don't think that's what she asked for. No. Yeah. Reel it in. Someone does Speaker 2 (15:21) point out the we had a fling comment. I knew you were the asshole after the we had a fling comment. Ugly baby or not, honey. She won. Let him go. Oh, God. I love I love that. I Speaker 1 (15:33) mean, honestly, I think it's so disrespectful to why mention bring that up in like any context unless like the person who is married brings it up. I just I think it's really not tasteful. It's not. No, that would bother that bother me. Like, yeah, that's in the past. Speaker 2 (15:50) Let's not let's not do that. I know. I feel like we had a story. It might have been on Patreon where the friend had introduced them and was like talking about giving a speech at their wedding or something and was just like, I need everyone to know. Like basically I introduced you. I'm the reason you guys are together. So Speaker 1 (16:08) weird. Or Speaker 2 (16:08) gave that speech at the engagement party. Speaker 1 (16:11) Yeah. It's Speaker 2 (16:12) sounding super familiar. If anyone knows, please let me know in the comments. Speaker 1 (16:16) Well, we do get an edit from OP. Let's hear it. Okay, everyone. I Speaker 2 (16:22) know everyone thinks I'm the asshole, but if everyone knew what she said when I got my first husband, you would know why I thought it was okay to be so honest. I still don't think I'm the asshole. Oh, okay. Ten toes down. Yeah. Edit two. Y'all are so fucking rude. Speaker 2 (16:45) Yes, I'm autistic and ADHD. Yes, it makes me say cruel things, but I don't mean it. If anything, I have good intentions with what I say. Y'all should read a fucking book about neurodivergent minds instead of ridiculing us. I'm not using it as an excuse, but rather an explanation. Go touch grass and stop bullying those of us in the world who care about authenticity. Speaker 1 (17:08) You you came here and asked for people's opinion. They're giving you their opinion. And that's what that's what gets me is that like if if the neurodivergent was as just like an explanation, then I think that there'd be a little bit more like being receptive to people's feedback. And sure, if people are being really mean about it, then like acknowledging that. But I do think the tent hose down, I didn't do anything wrong. And like. You guys just need to accept that, like, I'm going to say mean things and I deserve to do that. I think it would be way better if OP responded and said, hey, calm down. Maybe you guys are not familiar with this, but these things do happen. I don't mean harm. At the end of the day, if it hurt my friend, it hurt my friend. And that's what I need to focus on. I didn't realize there was going to be so much harshness. I was just looking for. But that wasn't what was happening. And I think that that would be a really good like. Well, and here's the thing, and maybe Speaker 2 (18:07) I'm misunderstanding what she's saying, but for her to say, I'm autistic and ADHD, yes, it makes me say cruel things. I'm autistic and have ADHD. You have ADHD. It doesn't make us say cruel things. So I'm like, are you trying to imply that? autism and adhd is the reason you say cruel things because other people have those same diagnoses and it doesn't make them say cruel things so maybe you just need better coping strategies to keep those things in yeah Speaker 1 (18:37) you know what i mean yeah i know what you mean i do i do think i'm Speaker 2 (18:40) like Speaker 1 (18:40) maybe i'm maybe i am totally misunderstanding what she is saying though and it's hard for me to say too because i think that everything is so unique right like i feel like every aspect of like neurodivergency is like there's it's like a personality along with it so it's Speaker 2 (18:53) like Speaker 1 (18:53) for some people like it might look way different than another person it does look different from person to person yeah so I don't want to like speak on behalf but I do I do think that at the end of the day like if you feel that you're saying cruel things then you should be like I am so sorry and then own it and be like I am so sorry that is not my intention like I just thought that's how my brain was processing. I meant no harm. Instead of being like, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm just being honest. Yeah. Like be, own it and be like, I, I said a cruel thing, but it was out of love. And I'm so sorry. It, it came from a. a place of love. Yeah. And then you, but like instead, that's what's making OP's story just not really, you know. It's not lining up. It's not that great. Speaker 2 (19:43) Yeah. No, Speaker 1 (19:44) definitely, Speaker 2 (19:45) definitely an op. Okay, moving on to number two here. Oh, I was hoping for another update. I wish. OP did delete their account. Bye, bitches. Bye. So number two is coming from r slash relationships. My boyfriend, 19 male, got the job instead of me, 19 female. He's unintentionally rubbing it in my face, but won't stop. My boyfriend and I both applied for an open position for undergrads at a local engineering company. The position was very appealing. It offered good pay, flexible hours, and was a great resume addition since they're a pretty big company. The application process was long and arduous. and extremely competitive, and they ended up only accepting three undergrads out of a final pool of 10. Boyfriend and I both go to the same school, top five in the US, so education-wise, we were both qualified. And he majors in CS, while I major in bio with a minor in CS. I hate to turn this into a competition, but my boyfriend is smarter than me in a lot of areas. He has a more analytical brain, whereas I'm more creative. I have a heftier resume than him, and I'm better at communication. I would have loved for us to both get the job, but if not, I was fairly sure that I would get it. Also, he only decided to apply after I told him that I was applying, but that's a whole other issue that I don't want to delve into. Anyways, we both make it to the final pool of 10, but he ends up getting the job and I don't. I was upset, but hid my sadness in order to be happy for him. I really, really wanted that job. When he got the email, he was ecstatic and he was running all over his dorm, excited and screaming. I was still in the room. At the time, he already knew I didn't get it. So it kind of hurt that he acted in such a dramatic way. He did apologize afterwards. Anyways, now he's been working there for about two months and it's going great for him. But he unintentionally rubs it in my face. a lot. I'm currently working as an intern at a CS lab at our school, and of course, I get paid less than him, and I have less benefits, but I quite like the job. My boyfriend will say stuff like, quote, aw, you only get paid $15.50 an hour? Speaker 1 (22:09) That's so Speaker 2 (22:10) little. I get paid $20 an hour. Or he'll say something like, quote, hey. We had a sushi buffet today and there was so much sashimi. Did you guys get any? Like, no, we didn't, obviously. Thanks for asking. Other examples are, quote, look at all the free stuff I got. You get any free stuff this week? Quote, I can't believe I'm getting paid this much to do basically intro stuff. Quote, I love my job so much. I definitely understand that half of this is because he actually likes his job and can't contain his excitement. But the other half kind of comes across as insensitive. Yeah. Though he might not realize it. If I didn't apply for the job and not get it, then of course I wouldn't mind. But he knows that I tried super hard to get the job and didn't end up getting it. Shouldn't he know to tone it down a bit? Or am I being too sensitive? I want to tell him it makes me sad, but don't want to come across as selfish. Just because I didn't get the job doesn't mean he can't be happy Speaker 1 (23:19) about it. Different things. Opie, this is like, to me, this is deeper than what you think it is. Thank you. That's so messed up. I mean, I think that if they were like really sarcastic people and... you know, that's the way that they communicated with each other, like, and he thought that, like, they could be funny, then maybe. But, like, I don't see really any way that he could possibly think that what he's saying is okay. Unless she had just done that to him about a previous situation, and so he thought he was being playful. But, like, even then, it still wouldn't be okay because the reality is, is, like, A job is such a sensitive thing for everybody. Like if you're doing good at your job, if you're not, if you're happy, if you're not like it's just like it's it's something that people put a lot of effort and focus and their heart goes into a lot of it. And so to mess around like that. is just so cruel yeah I can't I'm like I'm trying to see if there's any way to like devil's advocate this one and I can't I just I can't I think it's he's a big asshole I'm a little Speaker 2 (24:36) confused. Speaker 2 (24:40) By the whole scenario, too, of like you telling him, I'm applying for this job. I'm really excited about it. And then he goes and applies. Yeah. Was it to knock you down a peg? Was it because this is truly just a once in a lifetime internship job opportunity and he needed to do it? I'm kind of weirded out by it because it's like, why couldn't you let her have this? And then add on the fact that he continuously is rubbing your face in it. It's so messed up. We had a sushi buffet at lunch today. Did you get any? There was so much sashimi. Yeah. No, I didn't have Speaker 1 (25:17) sushi today. I'm working at the school. I'm not even there. And like the thing is, is like, I think that if he wasn't trying to be. a complete asshole, he would have just left it at like, we got sashimi today. I was so excited. But did you, did you get any? Like knowing, knowing that she didn't. It's so. It's pointed. Yeah. It's Speaker 2 (25:40) very, very, oh, purposeful and feels malicious. Again, just these jabs. Did you get any? Right. You only get paid Speaker 1 (25:49) 1450. I Speaker 2 (25:51) get $20 an Speaker 1 (25:53) hour. I know. If she would have just been like, he kept saying how much he loves his job. I love my job so much. Then I'd be like, okay, you know what? He probably doesn't mean it. He probably just can't contain his excitement. But I can't from these quotes. I can't. I can't believe that he's doing anything else besides trying to put her down. Yeah. And feel bigger. Like, I just don't. I can't see it otherwise. And I'm trying. I tried. No, I did. Speaker 2 (26:18) And I get being so overly excited and like, this is a big opportunity. Cool. But you still, in your head, have to realize my girlfriend was up for the same position. She didn't get it. I did. The typical response, I think, for something like this, which maybe isn't necessarily the right response, but would to be more reserved because you feel bad rubbing it in the other person's face. Exactly. That's more Speaker 1 (26:44) typical Speaker 2 (26:45) than this. And it's Speaker 1 (26:47) again, again and again, very consistent. There's not anyone I could imagine speaking to in this way. So to do it to like you're the person that you're supposed to like really be looking out for and be a team and be partners with is just like, what? Like, I wouldn't even do this to a stranger. Like, I wouldn't even do this to someone I don't like. Like, imagine talking to Speaker 2 (27:07) a Speaker 1 (27:07) co-worker like this Speaker 2 (27:08) and you're going up for the same Speaker 1 (27:09) promotion. Yeah. No, you wouldn't. Speaker 2 (27:11) No, it's unprofessional. It's Speaker 1 (27:12) mean. It's very cruel. Top Speaker 2 (27:15)