Conscious Parenting With Dr. Shefali, RHONY Premiere, RHOSLC Recast & Pumpkin Spice Lattes

The Viall Files

In this episode of The Viall Files: Reality Recap, host Nick Viall dives into a mix of pop culture and deep personal development topics. He discusses the upcoming RHONY premiere, potential

Key takeaways

• Empathy is powerful but can be weaponized or used performatively if not balanced with accountability.
• Parents must actively educate daughters about the male gaze and evolving male sexuality to protect their self-esteem.

Main topics

• Conscious parenting
• Raising daughters and sons in the modern era

Notable quotes

"We need to prepare our girls. This is what they're thinking, you know."

Conclusion

Dr. Shefali's insights on conscious parenting offer a transformative lens for raising emotionally intelligent,

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) There's an all-new season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives returning to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus September 10th. Four years ago, the women of MomTalk started out by making TikToks, but then life started pulling them in different directions. From dancing with the stars to starring on Broadway, book deals, modeling, and business ventures, where does the group stand when they come back together? There's always drama happening behind the scenes and Speaker 7 (0:21) playing out on social media with these Speaker 3 (0:23) ladies. You've heard all the rumors, but now it's time to hear the gospel. Can they still trust each other? Are there any friendships left? Will MomTalk survive this? You'll have to see for yourself. Watch the all-new season of the Hulu original series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on September 10th. Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. For bundle subscribers, terms apply. Speaker 2 (0:59) What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Vile Files Reality Recap Edition. I'm your host Nick, joined by my wonderful, caring, sensitive, great mom wife. Speaker 5 (1:10) Thank you. I was just reading a text from Jess Festel that was so nice regarding our Harry Jowsey interview. Speaker 2 (1:14) It was. I got a text from Jess Festel this morning and I was just like, oh shit, fuck. Speaker 3 (1:20) I know. Speaker 5 (1:20) I felt that way when I saw that she commented on the sizzle and was like, Harrison, if you didn't keep this in, I was like, oh! Speaker 2 (1:28) Anyways, she was very gracious and she said she enjoyed it and appreciated the conversation. So Speaker 5 (1:35) if you haven't listened to the Harry Jowsey interview. Speaker 2 (1:37) Yeah, it was fun. Speaker 5 (1:38) It was fun. It was, you know, I didn't think we'd ever see the day. Was it healing? Speaker 4 (1:44) I Speaker 2 (1:45) don't think I don't think anyone in that in that conversation cared all that much, which is what I think I appreciate about the most. Because I think in the conversation of Harry's messiness, there was like a recognition and a conversation about like, this is, I don't know, whatever this is that we do and like we participate in it, you know, by covering the show. Obviously, I've been in that world, you know, and it's, you know, it's by definition like a narcissistic kind of like, you know, it's like we talk about ourselves and it can get messy. But like, anyways, I appreciated the realness about. Speaker 5 (2:19) I also think him having his own podcast now really made him realize that when we were covering him on these shows, it was just us doing our job. And I think he sees that now because he's doing that with other shows. But it Speaker 2 (2:33) is always nice to bury a hatchet, so to speak. Speaker 6 (2:36) For sure. Speaker 2 (2:36) So often, especially in this world, it's just like sometimes you feel like, I think I'm fighting with someone and I don't even know why. Speaker 6 (2:42) You Speaker 2 (2:42) know? Speaker 6 (2:43) Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:44) Like, it's like we're just like trained to go from zero to 100 right now. You like see that Speaker 5 (2:48) someone that you thought you were cool with likes a post that's like hating on you. And you're like, oh. I guess I Speaker 2 (2:53) have to hate them. I don't know. Speaker 5 (2:55) You're mad at me. Okay. Speaker 2 (2:58) And so often when we feel like people are mad at us, what's our response? You know. To Speaker 5 (3:03) be mad back at them. Speaker 2 (3:03) You know, and it's just like, and so when you have the opportunity, as sometimes we see with our housewives. Shout out Ultimate Girls Trip, which I'm excited to talk about. Yeah, that's a it's it's like, you know, I had so many other things to care about. I'm glad this is one less thing I have to like be bothered by. Speaker 6 (3:22) But Speaker 2 (3:22) anyway, it's a fun conversation. And I think you get to probably I don't like I think it was a really honest point of view from Harry's whether you agree or disagree with how he thinks and how he moves. I think he was pretty honest with with his answers. So, yeah, it was fun. Check it out. My general question I would pose to the audience as far as Harry Jowsey and his dating future. I hope he. He's in a relationship. He's really happy. I hope it works out for him. But it's always the question at what point do you become responsible for like giving someone like Harry a chance, you know? And at what point are people around you? I mean, obviously your closest people, you know, whoever your people are, who is like, whatever decision you make, I guess I have to have your back. But outside of those people, how much are people supposed to care if you want to be the one to change them, so to speak? And it's Speaker 6 (4:09) an Speaker 2 (4:09) interesting question. Speaker 6 (4:10) That is, I think my friends would be sick of my ass if I brought a hairy jowzy home. You know what I mean? Speaker 5 (4:17) Yeah. That's the one where they're like, bitch, I can't hear it again. You know, like you Speaker 6 (4:22) got to Speaker 5 (4:23) move on. Speaker 6 (4:23) They're like, at this point, like I'm, you're doing it to yourself. So anything you need to complain about, find somewhere else. Find your therapist. You Speaker 7 (4:30) can't start any type of story with you'll never believe because yes, we will. We will. And we know. Speaker 2 (4:35) And on some level, when we say to ourselves, listen, I just. I want to decide for myself. who they are by getting to know them right off the bat you're being like i'm special yeah and you know like you just reckon you know we've all done it i you know i want to show you Speaker 5 (4:54) how stupid i am so i am going to date this man not Speaker 2 (4:58) that we're calling anyone who's ever dated harry jowsey we've all we've been that person um but it's a it's an interesting question and harry has given us the opportunity to pose that question i Speaker 6 (5:08) struggle like as an empath like I struggle because I genuinely at my core, I'm like, I want to believe and I do believe people change, people grow. And it's, it makes for dating really hard because you give opportunities to some wild characters. Yeah. But the Speaker 2 (5:25) thing, you know, we, we talk about this a great deal on plus, but the thing about empathy, listen, I'm a better person for over the years, learning how to be more empathetic to everyone around me, including my partner and my kids. And, you know, like I Speaker 1 (5:38) I'm Speaker 2 (5:38) definitely better. But empathy is one of those things that is just so easily weaponized against us. It's also one of those things that's so easy for us to be performative because it makes us feel good. Speaker 7 (5:50) Yeah. Speaker 2 (5:50) And we need our line. And like, you know, the Lindsay Clancy of it, like we have lost the line. And at some point, like I'm an empath, you know what I'm saying? Because, you know, I'm better for it. But like at some point, where's our line of like just being like, nah, we got to hold that person accountable. Speaker 6 (6:06) Trying to find it. Whether it's the Speaker 2 (6:08) person, whether the person we date or, you know, these people in the news. Anyways, check out the Harry Jowsey interview if you haven't already. I think we talked about it last week, but can I? It's fall. We're up at the lake. The seasons are changing. Spiced pumpkin lattes. What are they called? Not Speaker 7 (6:27) it. Pumpkin spice. Spiced lattes. And also, is it fall? Speaker 4 (6:31) The PSL. Speaker 7 (6:31) I thought fall's not until like September 22nd or something. 24th? I think Speaker 2 (6:35) it's end of September. No. Yeah, it's end of September. Speaker 4 (6:38) Fall begins when Starbucks says it begins as someone who used to work there. Speaker 7 (6:44) For me, I'm like, I guess it's when Halloween Horror Night starts and it's now Speaker 4 (6:48) September. Or when CVS Speaker 7 (6:49) starts Speaker 4 (6:49) sending out those skeletons, mama. CVS is crazy. Speaker 7 (6:54) I Speaker 4 (6:55) was there yesterday. Speaker 1 (6:56) Trying to Speaker 4 (6:57) pick up my medication. You're Speaker 1 (6:58) so true. Speaker 2 (6:59) Question, Mare. As a former barista at Starbucks. Oh, let's go. In adult life, only a couple years ago, isn't the difference between a latte and a cappuccino just the ratio of milk or like all the various? Speaker 4 (7:13) Well, it's a foam, right? So for a cappuccino, what you're doing is you're going to like, it's the way you're steaming the milk. Well, you're steaming the milk. You're basically like foaming the milk. So with a cappuccino, it's, I forget the exact ratio because it's been a while, but I believe it's like 70 % foam to 30 % milk. And then you have the same amount of espresso or you can have an extra dry cappuccino where it's like all, like pretty much all foam. But then a latte, you only like. Basically, what you're doing is you're steaming the milk and then you bring it out and it just gives you like a little bit of like that thing on top that's supposed to just do. That's where you get your latte art. I Speaker 6 (7:50) was trying to do your hand gestures so that they could see because you were it was helpful for me to see the hand gestures, but she's off cam. It's basically Speaker 4 (7:56) like either your foaming milk or your steaming milk. And if you foam it, it's a cappuccino. I don't know what I'm making for Speaker 2 (8:02) my wife or myself. We have one of those wonderful Breville machines and Speaker 4 (8:06) has Speaker 2 (8:06) all the settings. But I do know how to fill up. The beans, stack them. I do know how to brew that. And I do know how to press the steam milk whatever button. And out comes hot milk I mix with espresso. And it's solid. But we're up at the lake. And for all the vanilla latte people out there, do I have a drink for you? We Speaker 5 (8:26) talked about this already. But I think we need to repeat it. Because I already got some messages being like. We Speaker 2 (8:29) need to repeat it. Speaker 6 (8:30) Okay. Speaker 2 (8:31) It's super simple. Natalie is a vanilla latte girl, hot or cold, often cold. And we didn't have vanilla syrup. up here at the lake. So instead... You brew the espresso. You brew the espresso. It's hot. You mix in, I would say, about a teaspoon, a tablespoon, excuse me, of brown sugar. And then you put a generous amount of honey. And you mix that in the hot espresso. And then you put that in a glass. You put some ice cubes on it if you're going to go cold. And then you pour the milk on it. And it's, according to my wife, I even tried it. It's pretty good. And simple to make. And it doesn't have... You know, it's healthier ingredients. Honey. Another ton of additives. Have you ever Speaker 4 (9:14) made Natalie a shaken espresso? It's pretty easy. I think she would love that. Can you move to a shaken? Does he just need to put it in one of those drink shakers and shake it out? Yeah, you just need to put, if you have like any sort of martini shaker, it's what you do at Starbucks or like any sort of place. You just put, you'll put the espresso, whatever sort of like syrup or whatever in the shaker with ice. Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it. Pour it in. Then you pour the. um like milk over it and it just looks really pretty and it tastes really good it does Speaker 2 (9:40) look really pretty this drink would probably be can you do that yeah yeah yeah because the honey i think kind of sometimes sits on the bottom a little Speaker 4 (9:48) bit Speaker 6 (9:50) Up Speaker 2 (9:50) at the lake, we've really curated, like my dream, like it's kind of the middle of nowhere of this beautiful scenery. It's quiet. It's slow. It's great to entertain. But like in between, it's just a lot of great eating. And I love to cook. And we obviously invested in a nice kitchen. And my mom up here has perfected baking at a level that's. Speaker 5 (10:06) She's got the bread like unmatched. Right. And so she does obviously the sourdough. Last night, she, we had homemade pizza and she did the dough. She also did. Yum. Cheesy, crazy bread. Speaker 2 (10:22) Yeah. Speaker 5 (10:22) What the? That was insane. She's making Speaker 2 (10:25) homemade cinnamon rolls, homemade chocolate chip cookies. Y'all know how Nick got Speaker 5 (10:28) me the Rolex for my birthday, right? So I was like, his birthday is right around the damn corner. And how do you follow up a Rolex? It's impossible. You know what I'm saying? Again, Speaker 2 (10:40) I hate gifts in both directions. Speaker 5 (10:42) But it just Speaker 2 (10:43) becomes a problem. Speaker 5 (10:44) But Sierra, as you know, I make it so incredibly easy for Nick, right? Like he's got the wish list. He's got my friends. He's got so many people who are like, hey, get her this, get her that. Nick, nobody. Not to say that he doesn't have friends, Speaker 6 (10:55) but he doesn't have a list. And he's got nothing. And I have no idea. Speaker 5 (10:59) How do you follow up a Rolex with like what? Like a piece of luggage? Like a suitcase? You know, how do you do it? And so I thought. Speaker 2 (11:06) She offered to buy me a Rolex. I said no. Speaker 5 (11:10) No, I thought maybe this is the birthday that I steal some of his sweet mother's starter and start making sourdough at home. Speaker 6 (11:22) I have concerns. Speaker 2 (11:24) The gesture is wonderful, but I don't want my gift to be something she has to do. Speaker 5 (11:29) Like a work every morning. I'm still this damn birthday gift. I don't know. I feel like there's an expert. I feel like Speaker 2 (11:36) it's Speaker 7 (11:38) been Speaker 2 (11:38) a hundred and four years. And then her next birthday will come around and I'll be in a bad mood. And then Victoria will be like, what are you getting Allie for her birthday? And I'll be like, she's not even making me sourdough anymore. Speaker 6 (11:51) literally literally because Speaker 2 (11:52) i don't want to like spend money on a gift i'm Speaker 6 (11:55) not gonna lie i feel like the sourdough from natalie would be like like one one and done for like yeah that's enough i feel like you can just make one loaf we can Speaker 2 (12:03) go to uh uh what do they call it no farmer's market no Speaker 6 (12:10) No, one really nice, thoughtful, made with love loaf and a nice handwritten note. I can score his initials Speaker 5 (12:18) in Speaker 6 (12:18) the top of it. Yeah. Yeah. One's enough. Speaker 5 (12:22) One's Speaker 7 (12:22) enough. Speaker 6 (12:22) She can make it a Rolex Speaker 7 (12:23) of... Speaker 6 (12:24) I can Speaker 5 (12:25) score Speaker 6 (12:26) a Rolex on the top of it. Yeah. She'll make it while... Well, maybe she won't make it while she's wearing a Rolex, but you know. It's Speaker 5 (12:31) the Rolex Speaker 6 (12:31) of loaves. She'll serve it while wearing the Rolex. And then the starter can just sit in our fridge. Forever until your mom comes. Speaker 2 (12:40) Starved. Yeah. All's here. Speaker 7 (12:43) Cute. So what do you want for your birthday, Nick? Yeah, here we go. Speaker 2 (12:46) I already told my wife. She can't repeat it. No. I just want to relax. Speaker 4 (12:50) He said he wanted to be left alone. Speaker 2 (12:52) I just want to relax. Speaker 4 (12:53) You guys know what? My mom used to always infuriate me when I Speaker 2 (12:56) would Speaker 4 (12:56) ask her. My mom, I would always ask her what she wanted for Christmas, her birthday, and she would say what her mom would say, which was peace of mind. And that used to always infuriate me. But now that I'm older, I'm like, no, Loki, I get it. Yeah. I Speaker 2 (13:11) read this morning, not to get things dark, but like this, you know, Speaker 4 (13:15) AI, Speaker 2 (13:15) interesting stuff. It's super helpful. I wish there Speaker 5 (13:20) was a camera in the bathroom when this conversation was happening, by Speaker 6 (13:25) the way, Speaker 2 (13:26) with me, guys. I think Speaker 6 (13:27) I saw the same thing. I don't even know what you're going to say, but I'm pretty sure I started. today i should probably just not because if Speaker 2 (13:32) my wife is any level of our audience he's Speaker 6 (13:35) like oh the world's ending because of ai and Speaker 5 (13:37) here i am doing my lip liner Speaker 6 (13:38) right Speaker 5 (13:39) i'm doing my lip liner in the mirror and he's like got the shower door open trying to talk to me about how the world's ending and i was like you're fogging up the mirror like Speaker 6 (13:46) i Speaker 5 (13:47) cannot see Speaker 7 (13:48) my Speaker 5 (13:48) lips you gotta shut the door and then after that he just stayed silent and i was like okay that worked Speaker 5 (13:57) Anyways. Speaker 6 (13:57) Yeah. Speaker 5 (13:58) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:58) Anyways, some serious people are worried about. Happy Speaker 5 (14:01) fall, y'all. And, you know. Happy fall. Speaker 2 (14:04) Happy fall. Ultimate girl trip. I was so enamored by this conversation. What I thought, I'm tuning in for just a nostalgic ride down memory lane. It was some really fascinating stuff because the ladies of Salt Lake City were here. Speaker 6 (14:18) Were they ever? Messy. Really Speaker 2 (14:20) taking over. Obviously, Lisa has been like, you know, on the ultimate girl's trip. but her peers showed up. And it's so fascinating because like my first question watching was who's producing this, right? Because you have all these different production companies producing different housewife franchises, different decision makers. It's Chet Media, the same producers of Salt Lake City. And the way that like, it was so meta because like, what is Heather's main criticism been? That she's a producer pet, right? That she is like driving conversations and she has benefited from this by being shown in this positive light. On the show. And her star has really risen. And then you hear you have like Lisa Barlow. And like these group of women. Just chilling out right. Like what's awesome about Ultimate Girls Trip. Is you're seeing these women as human beings. More as humans and less as characters. You know in a way that's just kind of like. Okay you know what. Like they are just. They are real people too. And that's been fun to watch. And then insert like the Salt Lake City women. Who like. the way they're shooting it, it looks like they're breaking the fourth wall. It feels like they're breaking the fourth wall in a way that it's, it feels like I'm watching them do a scene because then you have the other housewives who are like on vacation, having fun, like observing the Salt Lake City housewives because it's like a different universe, but like kind of in the same multiverse or whatever the fuck you want to call it. And in a way that like it, it. Heather looks bad and it looks, it seems like shed media. Like, that's why I was like, Oh, is it a different production company? Are they like taking the Liberty? And I'm always curious at what level are the decision makers at Bravo overseeing all these decisions? Or is this kind of happening on a case by case basis? Because it's this kind of like the thing that the fans criticize Heather for that we all wondered in this episode, she, it looks like the network is like exposing her. As like someone who's just like dead set on like starting fights and throwing her peers under the bus and starting shit that does. And you have the other housewives being like, that shit's fucking mean. What are you doing? We're on fucking vacation. And I was just like, that's that was some wild. That was I was not expecting that ride for Ultimate Girls Trip. You Speaker 7 (16:36) have Teresa, who's literally called somebody a prostitution whore, looking at Heather being like. The stuff she's saying about her face is mean and it ruins lives. Speaker 2 (16:45) Well, yeah. And it's interesting coming from Teresa, somebody who's gone to jail. The Speaker 7 (16:49) false accusation of her having a facelift will ruin her life. No, but I'm like, I agree. I was like, Heather is doing the most. And it's interesting because it kind of, as you said, where I'm like seeing all these housewives apparently like feel like they're on vacation. And then and even like Candace and Portia, right? Like they clearly have real drama, but like Portia's like, I'm not doing a scene. I'm not on my franchise. This is not what's happening. So goodbye. Whereas like Heather, I was like, this is your real life. Like, you know what I mean? Like sometimes it's so easy as an audience member to be like. oh, they're doing a scene, they're putting it on. And whether they are, whether they're not, it's just like, this seems like Heather 24-7, like where it's like, you're in this amazing place. If you're not sucking up to Luann, then you're just ready to attack Lisa Barlow and create a scene in front of all of these housewives at a nice party. And it's like, we're not in Salt Lake City anymore. That's the interesting Speaker 2 (17:40) thing, you know, and again, kind of threading it back to the Harry. It's just like, I think some of these, some of us, some people who go on these shows are able to separate work and reality. Speaker 7 (17:51) Yeah. Speaker 2 (17:51) And some people aren't, you know, and it's just like, we're up at the lake. We had some, we had friends up. It was so much fun, you know, now obviously Nelly shared some moments, but like, you know, when I get in my head and I think about like, like, you know, the end of the world, I'm just like, we had this whole amazing weekend, most of which we didn't like film and put on content that like no one will know about. It will, you know what I'm saying? As far as people who follow us and. and enjoy what we share in post, which we appreciate. Like they had no idea about this amazing connecting weekend we had with friends and we got to gossip about like what's going on in their neighborhood. They Speaker 5 (18:27) had Speaker 2 (18:27) no idea Speaker 5 (18:27) that I can still do a backflip. Speaker 2 (18:29) Yeah. I did. No one knows about it. And those are the, you know, and those are like the, that those are the memories that we have. And it was just so like disconnected from like what we do for work and yada yada. And it's, I think some people in this universe can never turn it off. Speaker 4 (18:45) Right. You Speaker 2 (18:46) know, and that's kind of crazy. Well, Speaker 4 (18:48) they are casting for season eight already of Salt Lake City, even though season seven hasn't aired yet. Like this came from the Speaker 2 (18:59) blogs, I bet. Speaker 4 (19:00) Or was it an official post being like, we're casting. Speaker 5 (19:03) No, Speaker 4 (19:03) this is like an official, this Speaker 2 (19:04) is Speaker 5 (19:05) an Speaker 2 (19:05) official casting Speaker 4 (19:05) post. Speaker 2 (19:05) Oh, Speaker 4 (19:05) I'm sure it's an official Speaker 2 (19:05) post. I imagine the discourse created from it. It's just like, oh my God. No, it's Speaker 4 (19:09) like a casting, there's a casting account looking for people for Salt Lake actively. Yeah, Speaker 2 (19:15) but I imagine there's people online being, oh, who was so bad? Who are they replacing? You know, who's on, you know, it's fun to talk about that. I also imagine they cast every season. Speaker 6 (19:27) I think my knee jerk reaction is more so like, was it so bad that people are quitting? You know, like I think that there's I don't know, it's very tumultuous. And I think even seeing how this kind of played out on the girls trip where it's like, dang, like this, like some people can't get out of the loop, like even being on like a one off show like The Bachelor, like sometimes it affects your life for years. And I'm like, I can't imagine being wrapped up season after season. Maybe my thought is like, who did somebody quit? Speaker 2 (19:55) And then you're Heather Dubrow, who we had on Tuesday's episode. And she, you know, we talked about obviously her 10 years as a housewife, but she reminded us that she started like 15 years ago and took a four year break. And she made the joke, you know, you, I was never really out, out, but like maybe, you know, if you're, if you're like Brawling and your divorce goes through, no prenup, by the way, and you're like, you know, you're good money wise. And you did this housewife season for what three, it'll be a third for third or fourth season. And she's gotten that, you know, excitement, that buzz, that notoriety, that kind of individual identity. She's got money. She, you know what I'm saying? Like she could easily take a break, maybe decide to come back and be like, you know what? I, she can move off of that notoriety on her own, you know, with her access to power and her, you know, she's got friends. Like if you're brawling. It would make a lot of sense if you're just like, I don't need that. You know, like it's it's too much. I got what I needed out of it, but I'm going to take a break and then maybe come back. I Speaker 7 (20:53) just think I need Salt Lake City to have like a different type of shakeup where I'm like, I love when Bronwyn was added. I loved when Brittany was added. But I'm just like, I think with the core group, when it comes to like Whitney, Heather, Lisa. Leave Meredith out of this. But like you just even the three of them, I'm just like that. And Angie, the toxicity of how much they make each other's lives, each other's storylines. And it never ends where I'm like, we just got the reboot of New York. I thought it was a fantastic premiere. And I'm like, even the Cy and Jessel becoming best friends out of nowhere, that whole and everyone being like, how, how? I love that shit. I love that during time that the cameras were rolling and the last time I saw you from the time that you guys picked back up and I'm getting to see it. Life has happened and like you've forgiven and forgotten and moved on. And that's what I want to see. I don't want to see. Yeah, like three women hating the same woman for the last three years. It Speaker 4 (21:47) is important to note that the casting group did do this last season for Salt Lake. So this is not something new that's happening. I think Speaker 2 (21:53) this is something casting does. They're always looking for someone great.