Justice for GG Crackers: Monday, October 5th, 2026

The Toast

The hosts dive into celebrity news, starting with Dakota Johnson's SNL monologue and Taylor Swift's surprise cameo, which drew criticism for reductively focusing on

Key takeaways

• Dakota Johnson hosted SNL while Taylor Swift made an appearance, but hosts criticized the monologue for leaning heavily on reductive tropes about her romantic life.
• Kim Kardashian shared in a Sunday Times profile that she employs five nannies on rotation and prioritizes daily family routines despite her travel-heavy schedule.

Main topics

• SNL monologue & celebrity cameos
• Kim Kardashian parenting & relationship update

Notable quotes

"The wheels of justice turn slow, but they work mighty fine."

Conclusion

The episode balances lighthearted celebrity gossip with a substantive examina

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:09) Jackson, Claude, and... Speaker 2 (0:14) show Speaker 1 (0:15) the best Speaker 2 (0:21) I sound amazing. Welcome back to the shows and happy Monday. I have a report. My flu-like symptoms have subsided. I'm so bad. You can probably hear it like in like the sort of chipper nature of my voice. Speaker 1 (0:33) Yes, we can hear it in the chipper nature. In Speaker 2 (0:35) the chipper nature. And although my flu-like symptoms have subsided, it didn't stop us from spending no Speaker 1 (0:39) time together this weekend. Like Speaker 2 (0:41) I was just sort of Speaker 1 (0:41) quarantined. So hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I've missed you. You did? I don't even think I saw you since Toast. No, Speaker 2 (0:50) I like ran out of here. I'm so not feeling good. Which is nuts. I'm not staying in Jackie's house anymore, by the way. I just want to make that clear. Oh, Speaker 1 (0:55) yeah. Speaker 2 (0:55) No, she Speaker 1 (0:56) wasn't in my room. Speaker 2 (0:56) I wasn't in her Speaker 1 (0:57) room. I'm Speaker 2 (0:57) like Speaker 1 (0:57) quarantined. So I really didn't see you all weekend. How are you? How was your weekend? I'm good. My weekend was great. Lots of fun. Cowboys won. Huge for the community. So did the Speaker 2 (1:06) Chiefs. I happen to be like on the channel. Speaker 1 (1:08) How Speaker 2 (1:08) did Speaker 1 (1:08) the 49ers do? I'm not sure. Because you know, like. that's your Speaker 2 (1:12) family. Yeah. Like in our family, like Jackie's family, the Cowboys, Shapiro's of the Giants. Speaker 1 (1:17) And we're Speaker 2 (1:18) not really like a football family. We're the Knicks, obviously. Love Speaker 1 (1:20) the 49. And so Speaker 2 (1:21) all the kids are like, does Ruby love 49ers? I'm like, sure. Yeah. I bought him a shirt. No, Speaker 1 (1:25) they asked you, what does Ruby love? And like, if you think about what team you and Ben love, like it's the one where you know the most people. Oh, and Speaker 2 (1:31) actually I still love you a couple of story. I think they won. And it's the 49ers. Yeah. And Speaker 1 (1:34) of course, Ruby feels a kinship too. Colette McCaffrey. Of Speaker 2 (1:38) course, his fellow mogul, picolette CEO and founder. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, it's a great weekend, but I literally didn't see you. Speaker 1 (1:46) Yeah, I know. So we have a lot of catching up to do. Yeah, I bought Speaker 2 (1:48) a pair of sunglasses. Not a big deal. I went to the mall. It was so hot yesterday. Speaker 1 (1:52) Yeah, it was. But it's like better than it's been. It was in the 80s. It's been in the 90s. It was in the 90s yesterday. Was it? The mall Speaker 2 (1:57) was popping. The only place to be was the Speaker 1 (1:59) mall. That's great. Oh my God, air conditioning was pumping. We were watching football. Oh, and major update in my life. I'm now an intramural mom. And more than that, and I didn't know what kind of like intramural sports mother I would be. I could have guessed. Let me tell you, I'm very intense. Well, you know what? We were actually raised Speaker 2 (2:17) by a crazy. intramural sport parent, our dad used to come and like legit embarrass the shit out of us, like get thrown out, screaming, screaming. And we were like pretty good. So like I get why it was like fun and exciting for him. So it's kind of like, It's kind Speaker 1 (2:30) of in your blood. It is in my blood. And I'm a competitive person. You are. Like I said, I'm in it to win it. Which, by the way, remind me, I want to say one more thing about Dancing Speaker 2 (2:37) with the Stars. Sure, sure, sure. Speaker 1 (2:38) All that aside, we started intramural sports. And I got to see what kind of, you know, soccer mom I will be. I got to hear what kind of mom you would be. Let Speaker 2 (2:47) me Speaker 1 (2:47) tell you, I'm not staying in my seat. No, of course not. Who could? I'm Speaker 2 (2:50) on the ball. Speaker 1 (2:51) I'm on the Speaker 2 (2:51) ball. You're literally going to get kicked out. Speaker 1 (2:55) And more than just being like an intense soccer mom, I'm also the coach's wife. Huge responsibility, by the way. Did you provide snacks? We did provide snacks. You did? Yes. Our family was in charge of snacks. Speaker 2 (3:06) Like, are you always in charge of snacks or each kid takes a turn? Speaker 1 (3:09) Just yesterday was our turn for snacks. It's honestly a lot of pressure. And I understand. Like, Speaker 2 (3:14) I Speaker 1 (3:14) would love to do orange. Especially in this day and age. Oh, dyes. Allergies. Of course. I would love to do orange slices because I think that's a great. Like you don't want like a thick snack. A sugary, yeah. Or even we wound up going with pretzels. A timeless classic. I know, but like it's a very drying snack when you're in the middle of an intense sporting game. I guess that's true. Speaker 2 (3:34) And what beverages Speaker 1 (3:35) did Speaker 2 (3:35) you provide? Speaker 1 (3:35) Simply water? Just small water bottles. Small individual water bottles. Like I think that one I felt good about. It wasn't going to do juice. Like we need to hydrate them. No, no, no. Speaker 2 (3:43) When we used to play like intramural leagues, like we were literally eating like. Pop them donuts, sugary sodas on the sidelines. Like times have changed. You cannot pull shit like that anymore. Speaker 1 (3:52) It's Thrive Market or bus. Yeah. So we got pretzels because I felt like that was safe. But it was also like, I don't know, pretzels didn't feel right. So we also got like the mango fruit strips. Love that. Yeah. A little fruity. Did you happen to get Speaker 2 (4:04) grain free pretzels? Like you never know with these kids. No, we didn't. Pretzels are like pretty allergen. They Speaker 1 (4:09) are. They're pretty safe. Yeah. They're pretty safe. And like if you're allergic to pretzels, like you probably brought your own snack. Speaker 2 (4:14) If you're allergic to pretzels, like, I don't think you can play in an intramural league. Like, it's sort of a dire circumstance. So Speaker 1 (4:19) not only was I the mom, but I'm the coach's wife, which is a lot of response. Ain't it good to be the coach? That Speaker 2 (4:25) begs Speaker 1 (4:26) the Speaker 2 (4:26) question. Ain't it good to be the coach? It Speaker 1 (4:29) is. Is Speaker 2 (4:29) it? Or it's a lot of Speaker 1 (4:30) pressure. It is. So far, it's Speaker 2 (4:32) been great. Are you going to be hosting, like, team practice at your house? I think so. We need to practice. Big time. So you lost. We definitely need to practice. Are they at the age where like they declare winners and losers? I feel like for a while. Oh, they did. So you were just a big loser. Yeah, I feel like for a while. I thought they don't like and kids need to lose. I'm sorry. Like it's not like we all won. Well, one of you stunk and one of you didn't. But I feel like in this day and age, like until they turn like 10, they don't tell them who wins and who like what the score is. Oh, not in wherever I am. Like, which is good. Like, I wouldn't enroll in a league that doesn't have winners and losers. And Speaker 1 (5:03) you Speaker 2 (5:03) know Speaker 1 (5:03) what Speaker 2 (5:03) now? Speaker 1 (5:03) Like. We have something to work towards. Of course. Those kids were definitely bigger than our kids, though. The odds were stacked against you. It's true. It was like Globo Gym. Literally. Yeah. And you're just average Joes. And we were average Joes. Average Jaxes. But we're going to take the championship. Hey, Jackie, it's just the beginning. It's just the beginning. Eyes on the ball. Deep bend. I'm rooting for you. I am rooting for Speaker 2 (5:25) you. Deep bend. That is hilarious. Speaker 1 (5:27) Yeah, it was hysterical. So that's what I was up to. Well, Speaker 2 (5:30) I was just like kind of losing sleep. You know. Do I look tired? Speaker 1 (5:34) No, you look beautiful. Not a trick question. I feel like I've been put into a trap. No, not a trick Speaker 2 (5:38) question. I had such a crazy evening. I had this like terror. You know, the pregnancy dreams are just horrible. Vivid. So I had this absolutely like horrendous dream that Ben died. And when I like woke up in the middle of the night, like choking, I couldn't get over it. Like I woke Ben up and like literally I probably laid in bed crying for two hours. Like I literally couldn't go back to sleep. Finally go back to sleep only for like my alarm to come up 30 minutes later. And so obviously. I was in such a bad mood because I had just fallen back asleep. And so I'm like spending the whole morning like raging at Ben. And he was like, you were literally five minutes ago crying that you were going to miss me so much when I died. Speaker 1 (6:07) And now you're screaming at me. The duality of woman. The duality of woman. I just remembered my dream. It was very vivid and kind of a nightmare. Are you pregnant? No, it was that I decided to sit down for an interview. Speaker 2 (6:20) Such as this? Speaker 1 (6:21) It was like an interview. with a photo shoot where they were gonna make me look ugly on purpose, you know? Oh my God, why would you sit down for that? I don't know. Who was the interviewer? I don't know. Speaker 2 (6:32) And Speaker 1 (6:32) I just, like some weird girl. And she said like she had watched two Patreon videos and like she wasn't even a fan. And Speaker 2 (6:37) I Speaker 1 (6:37) was already like planning in my head what I was gonna text my publicist. Like, how Speaker 2 (6:40) dare you? I'm backing up. That is a nightmare. It was Speaker 1 (6:43) enough to me. I never, not that I was doing any interviews and I don't do interviews. Speaker 1 (6:48) But I feel like reassured in my belief that I will not be giving an interview. That's Speaker 2 (6:52) a Speaker 1 (6:52) nightmare. And then like right before I woke up, she started to ask me a question about like what it's like to be plus size. Speaker 2 (7:00) Oh. Speaker 2 (7:06) I don't know what to say. Speaker 2 (7:09) I don't know how to say that. It's a trap. It's a trap, yeah. It's a trap for you. Yeah. So we got new chairs, by the way. We have new Speaker 1 (7:18) chairs. Speaker 2 (7:19) Trying to change the subject. We got new chairs after Jackie's. Oh, and we have custom pillows, yeah. And Speaker 1 (7:23) like, we just need the pillows to be seen. And maybe it could be like an emotional support pillow after the nightmares that we've had. Speaker 2 (7:29) We have custom pillows, boucle chairs, and we're just like genuinely unstoppable. Speaker 1 (7:32) We're unstoppable. And I also wanted to say about Dancing with the Stars because I had a thought. Oh, yeah. Here's your thought. Because my new favorite. like mental game is like thinking about us on Dancing with the Stars. How could we? Could we? Would we? No. Someone commented something that sort of sent me on a tailspin into our ideal scenario for Dancing with the Stars. They said that we would have to do it together. Yeah. And yes, we would have to be on the same season, like much like Jen and Whitney. Well, much like Jen and Whitney. But we are bound by blood. They always hated each other. We love each other. We would support each other. That way we could like all move out to L.A. We would do the show like it wouldn't be as difficult transatlantic. Right, Speaker 2 (8:06) right, right, right. Speaker 1 (8:07) And as sisters, we would have to compete with brothers. Max. Val and Maxim. Okay, Speaker 2 (8:14) I'm Speaker 1 (8:15) down. Speaker 2 (8:16) Wouldn't Speaker 1 (8:16) that be interesting? Speaker 2 (8:17) Wouldn't you guys want to watch that? I just feel like it's hard to get cast on Dancing with the Stars, let alone twice. You know what I mean? Speaker 1 (8:22) But we're huge stars. And honestly. I Speaker 2 (8:24) agree with what she said. And Speaker 1 (8:25) honestly, like there's not a lot of huge stars on the show. Like I feel confident that I'm famous enough right now to go on Dancing with the Stars given the cast of Dancing with the Stars. Speaker 2 (8:34) Right. I might not have said that last year, but this year I'll definitely say it. Speaker 1 (8:37) And they want more influencers and digital people. Like you can feel that. They're casting a wide net. And it's us. Speaker 2 (8:45) 1000%. I'm not at a place. right now where I would be able to. I'm not at a place either. And I don't know when that time will be. So until further notice, I'll just happen to be, you know, Tyler Cameron's friends and family. Speaker 1 (8:58) That's my dream scenario. Like we do it together. Speaker 1 (9:02) I Speaker 2 (9:03) don't know if my dream scenario involves being on Dancing with the Stars. Like, I just don't, I don't think I have what it takes. I really don't. Physically, emotionally, it's like super, it's like a very mentally tough game too. It is. And I don't know if you've heard about what's going, I saw Emma made a TikTok talking about like how her and Jackson, I think she was trying to get people to like give them grace because like they're not getting better. And she was like, we're flying back and forth to Savannah multiple times a week. Like, why? Why are you going? I guess to practice? I guess she's going Speaker 1 (9:29) to practice with him. But yeah, the way that I feel just watching social media is like it's a little too much dancing on the field and not enough dancing in the studio. Yeah, Speaker 2 (9:37) and so I think she wanted people to understand like that that's why. Because it just looks like they're making TikToks all week long. It does Speaker 1 (9:42) look like they're making TikToks all week long. But I Speaker 2 (9:43) guess like she has to be there to choreograph him during his games. He can't just take like a couple of weeks off from the bananas. I was like he's the Speaker 1 (9:49) only one who can't get PTO. Like when everybody... is like a working person. I think Speaker 2 (9:54) a lot of them don't get PTO. Like Harry Shum Jr. is actively filming Grey's Anatomy, but it's all on the same lot in LA. He happens to have like sort of an inconveniently located job. Speaker 1 (10:03) Like, Speaker 2 (10:03) Fabulous Podcasting, I saw his clips talking about Dancing with the Stars. I'm sure his studio is 20 minutes from Dancing with the Stars. I don't think it affects, that could be us. I don't think it affects a lot of people in the way that it's affecting Jackson. Speaker 1 (10:14) Well, I'm sorry, Jackson, but you should have thought of that. Like, it's not my problem. He should Speaker 2 (10:18) have taken, like, a sabbatical. A savannacle. And Speaker 1 (10:21) I think that the Bananas corporate would have been happy to. I'm sure they're thrilled that he's doing this. This is like a great. Huge get for the team. Yeah. So I think they would have been fine if he missed a couple weeks. Speaker 2 (10:32) There's literally no need for them to be flying back and forth to Georgia. Like that's insane. That's insane. Yeah. Only to be stinking it up every week. Speaker 1 (10:37) Yeah. Not necessary. Agreed. Speaker 2 (10:40) Tomorrow's Dancing with the Stars. So we will hold off on talking about it. We will keep it Speaker 1 (10:43) in our pants. But I just needed to just like. manifest that yeah manifest am i doing it without you no Speaker 2 (10:48) pressure you might have to like i'm i'll be your dedication night of course we'll do like a sexy samba threesome me you and maxim maxim will come out of retirement just to be your coach um i don't think i honestly like i can't like i can't do it and also like the fandom is mean yeah Speaker 1 (11:08) Oh my God. Nobody is like meaner people. It's sort of like a baptism by Speaker 2 (11:12) Facebook group. It's true. It's true. But I think it's like on a huge level, like what we experienced 10X. I Speaker 1 (11:18) guess. But it's like, if you don't open your phone, like it doesn't exist. Speaker 2 (11:20) It Speaker 1 (11:20) doesn't exist. Yeah. Like people are, you're walking down the street and they're throwing tomatoes at you. No, Speaker 2 (11:24) no. But I think that they do. Speaker 1 (11:26) No, I think it's fine. And I think. I think they'll love me. I Speaker 2 (11:30) think they'll love you too. I will be front row. I'm going to be like Hannah Brown, you know, where I'm sitting behind Alfonso. You're going to be Speaker 1 (11:35) like Chessie to Maya Layton. thousand percent Speaker 2 (11:39) Love that. Yeah. But you know, the hard part of that, I don't think you're going to be able to do. You like can't be on Dancing with the Stars if you don't have a TikTok. Honestly, you would be the first contestant in history. Speaker 1 (11:50) They'd be hiring me like for my digital. Right. And you don't even Speaker 2 (11:52) have Speaker 1 (11:53) a digital presence. Would you make an account? For, yeah. Okay. I'd run it. That would be my job. My social media coordinator. Love that. I'm Speaker 2 (12:02) cracking up. Speaker 2 (12:05) What are the stories like today? We Speaker 1 (12:06) actually have a lot to talk about. Oh, we Speaker 2 (12:07) do? Speaker 1 (12:07) A lot of stuff that, like, I'm excited to talk about. I know you'll be excited, too, when you hear what they are. Speaker 2 (12:13) Oh, sounds like there's a little surprise in store. No, not surprise, but Speaker 1 (12:16) just things you don't realize we're going to be talking about today. Like, things that you were jazzed about. Oh, Speaker 2 (12:19) it Speaker 1 (12:19) sounds like an Speaker 2 (12:19) ambush. Speaker 1 (12:22) I Speaker 2 (12:22) was jazzed about it? Like, I texted you about it? Speaker 1 (12:25) Yeah, like, popping off in our group chat all weekend about... Tanya Speaker 2 (12:28) Sakharov. Yes. You guys. Very exciting. I wasn't like in, this is a COVID Instagram drama that I never really got into. This is Olivia Oshry's Roman Empire. Thus, we are privy Speaker 1 (12:37) to the information because our Speaker 2 (12:38) - Speaker 1 (12:38) Olivia's always like Speaker 2 (12:39) kept us abreast- Cares so deeply. Speaker 1 (12:41) About Speaker 2 (12:41) this drama. And you know what? She was right for caring about it. Because when I saw the video of it, like this is like the final step in this big like COVID stupid scandal that we'll tell you guys that. I was like, oh my God, you know what? Good for her. Yeah. Good for her. So yes, let's dive in. I am excited to talk about that. Speaker 1 (12:54) Without further ado-do-do-do, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you-da-do need to know. 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