Claire's Spa

The Secret Room | True Stories - Ben Hamm

Chrissy shares her 15-year secret double life as a sensual massage therapist, maintaining a public identity as a legitimate massage practiti

Key takeaways

• Sensual massage involves nude or lingerie-clad sessions ending in a manual happy ending, but not actual sex.
• Chrissy maintained strict secrecy for 15 years by using legitimate cover jobs like temping and certified massage therapy.

Main topics

• The hidden world of sensual massage
• Double life and secrecy in sex work

Notable quotes

"I was a massage therapist, just not a sensual massage therapist."

Conclusion

Chrissy's story reveals the complexity and emotional weight behind secret lives in sex

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) Hi Ben, my name is Chrissy and my secret is I led a secret double life for 15 years. On the outside, I was building what looked like a normal life, relationships, family, a future, but in secret I was working in sensual massage until one day I was forced to reveal the truth. Now, about 18 years later, I'm ready to tell my secret. Speaker 1 (0:25) Hey everyone, and welcome to The Secret Room. I'm Ben Ham. Today we bring you the second secret in our three-secret arc focusing on the often misunderstood world of sex work. Last time, Sloan revealed what it was like to work for an escort agency, and today Chrissy will share how she ran a sensual massage business, work she did secretly, for 15 years. And when we conclude our series, we'll all have a deeper understanding of the different forms sex work can take, the realities these women face, and how they really feel about their work. Let's get started with secret number two and find out how Chrissy got started in sensual massage, which she will define for us in just a moment. Here we go. Here Speaker 3 (1:05) we go. Hi, Speaker 1 (1:06) Chrissy, and welcome to The Secret Room. Speaker 3 (1:09) Thank you so much for having me, Ben. I'm really excited to be here. Speaker 1 (1:12) Well, you're welcome. I'm really excited to have you here. I can't wait to learn all about your secret. Speaker 2 (1:19) Thank you. Speaker 1 (1:21) Your secret is out now, but your story is essentially about a secret double life you led for 15 years. You did everything you could to keep it secret until one day your hand was forced to reveal all to your family. Is that right? Speaker 3 (1:33) That is correct. Speaker 1 (1:35) And I guess we'll hear how they reacted too. Speaker 3 (1:37) Yes, we will. Speaker 1 (1:39) And you told me you kept it from your friends and your relationships too? Speaker 3 (1:42) Correct. Speaker 1 (1:43) Okay, we have a lot to get through. I posted a tease about your story to our Facebook discussion group and asked the audience for questions. Speaker 3 (1:51) Great. Oh, that's exciting. Speaker 1 (1:52) So I'll be sprinkling those in. Right. So how long have you been out with your secret? Speaker 3 (1:57) With my family, about 18 years. It was in 2008. Speaker 1 (2:02) So about this double life you led for 15 years. What was your public facing cover? What did your family and friends think your life was? Speaker 3 (2:11) Right. In the beginning, I was temping and I actually was temping. So that was the lie that I kept up even when I got into sensual massage. And then I enjoyed the massage so much that I went back to school and got my massage certification. And then it became I was a massage therapist, just not a sensual massage therapist. I Speaker 1 (2:32) see. Okay. And just to clarify for people who may be wondering, can you tell us what sensual massage is exactly? Speaker 3 (2:39) Sure. So sensual massage is a massage given either in the nude or topless or in lingerie or in costume. And the client is on a massage table and is nude. And it concludes with a manual happy ending. Speaker 1 (2:58) Okay. And thank you for clarifying that. Speaker 3 (3:02) Sure. Speaker 1 (3:03) Gosh, this is amazing. It immediately opens up so many questions. I barely even know where to start. But I guess the most obvious first question is, you know, is there ever actual sex involved? Speaker 3 (3:13) No, not in my case. I know that it is for some women's cases, but in mine, no. Speaker 1 (3:18) Okay. And was any of this legal? Speaker 3 (3:23) No, it was not. Okay. Speaker 1 (3:25) Okay. So first up, let's zoom out and get a big picture of what was going on and then we'll get into the details. Speaker 3 (3:30) Fantastic. Speaker 1 (3:31) Were your clients men or men and women? Speaker 3 (3:34) They were 99 % men. Towards the end of my career in that field, I had some couples come in. So men and women, but they would come in at the same time. I see. And it would be a four-handed massage. So one of us would be massaging. The man and one of us would be massaging the woman. Speaker 1 (3:54) So there would often be two massage therapists. Speaker 3 (3:56) Right. There'd be two Speaker 1 (3:57) women Speaker 3 (3:57) working. Okay. Speaker 1 (3:59) Ever have any women come in solo? Speaker 3 (4:01) Any women come in solo? Speaker 1 (4:03) As clients? Speaker 3 (4:05) Looking back in my history? Speaker 1 (4:07) Not really. Speaker 3 (4:07) No, no. I think I had a couple inquiries about that, but never a single woman. Speaker 1 (4:13) Yeah, just curious. How did you get into this line of work? Speaker 3 (4:17) When did it all start? I was in grad school getting my master's in vocal performance and I had a free ride, but I wanted some money on the side. So I worked for a telegram company, a singing telegram company. Speaker 1 (4:31) And Speaker 3 (4:31) there was a woman who worked there that did singing stripper grams. I did not, but she got pregnant and had to quit. And the owner of the company was a very small family owned business. asked me if I wanted to move into stripper grams. And my immediate answer was, no, I have no idea how to do stripping. I don't dance. I'm not sexy. Absolutely not. Speaker 1 (4:55) Sounds so old fashioned. Do they still do this? Speaker 3 (4:58) I don't think so. Speaker 1 (4:59) Okay. You caught you on the very last wave of this industry. Speaker 3 (5:04) Yeah. That was like 1993, 94. Yeah. So I said no at first. And then I found out how much more money I would make per telegram. And I said, I can learn. Nobody taught me how to strip. Nobody taught me what these things look like. I just taught myself. I was young and blonde and I had a nice figure and I thought, oh, I could do this. But I never considered myself sexy. The only dancing I'd ever done was tap dancing. So I basically made my stripper grams into something very silly and goofy. So it was basically Lucille Ball performing stripper grams. It was fun. It was really fun. It was really fun. But I didn't tell my family that I did them. I didn't tell my then boyfriend who became my fiance, who then became my husband. the next year. So he never knew. My family never knew. And then I moved to New York. So I just stopped doing it. I Speaker 1 (6:14) don't think people who buy stripper grams are necessarily expecting something that is, you know, at its core, extremely erotic. So you probably know very well. Speaker 3 (6:25) I did. I actually did. And people got a kick out of it. And it was funny and goofy. And like looking back at the time, I thought it was so scandalous. But looking back, it was really quite hysterical. And I only stripped down to a bikini. I wasn't even nude or topless. Oh, okay. Just stripped down to a bikini. Yeah. Speaker 1 (6:45) Very cute. Speaker 3 (6:46) Yes, very cute. It paid well. And then I got married and moved to New York. Speaker 1 (6:52) Okay. And you left the stripper gram scene. Speaker 3 (6:54) Left the stripper gram scene. Moved to New York with my then husband. You know, we were new to New York. We had no idea what we were doing. We both actually started working at F.E.O. Schwartz. In New York. Speaker 1 (7:05) What was he doing? Speaker 3 (7:06) I forget. Oh, my goodness. I think he was in the book department. Yeah. And I was in the Barbie department. Speaker 1 (7:14) Selling Barbie dolls? Speaker 3 (7:16) Selling Barbies. But not just any Barbies, Ben. I was in the collectible Barbie. Oh, man. I wish there was a stripper Barbie. Oh, my God. That's hysterical. Yes. Collectible Barbies. which were like the high end, like Bob Mackie and I don't know, all these great, beautiful Barbies. I actually waited on Lauren Bacall once. Speaker 1 (7:40) Oh my. Did she buy a Barbie? Speaker 3 (7:43) She did. She bought a collectible Barbie. I think it was a Bob Mackie Barbie that year. That marriage ended maybe a year and a half after that. We were both so young and incompatible and I don't really want to get into the specifics of why that marriage didn't work. Speaker 1 (8:00) No problem. Speaker 3 (8:01) I was living on my own in New York. I was temping and I was also a performer. So I had moved to New York to become a Broadway star. So at the time, my first degrees are in music, vocal performance. I had just come off a three-month contract with an equity show and realized I did not want to go back to temping. It just was soul. sucking. And so I was looking in the back pages of one of those adult magazines, or I think it was called the Village Voice. And there was a bunch of adult ads in the back and thinking, maybe they do stripper grams in New York. Speaker 1 (8:44) Okay. Yeah. Well, you have experience. I Speaker 3 (8:47) have experience. I could do that. It was fun. I made some good money, but I saw no ads for something like that. I saw stripping, right? But I knew I had to be sexy. The Speaker 1 (8:57) industry had dried up. The Speaker 3 (8:59) industry had dried up. I saw the last wave of singing stripper grams. So Speaker 1 (9:03) what did you think about stripping? Speaker 3 (9:04) I knew I couldn't do it. I didn't have the moves. That sounded horrible being in strip clubs. And that scene just did not interest me at all. Speaker 1 (9:16) Yeah, it's a vibe. It's a vibe. Yeah, Speaker 3 (9:19) it was a vibe. And I had a very girl next door kind of vibe. That wasn't my thing. So I saw in the back of the Village Voice this ad for central massage. Speaker 1 (9:35) Chrissy's about to set her life on a new trajectory that would lead her to a secret life that lasted for 15 years. We'll be right back. Speaker 2 (9:49) If you've been waiting for the right time to tackle your weight loss goals, this is it. HERS now offers access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the WeGoV pill and the WeGoV pen. Losing weight can be really hard, and you don't have to struggle. HERS is here to help. Everything is 100 % online through HERS. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If you're prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. You'll have access to WeGoV at HERS and lose up to 20 % of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. WeGoV is the first ever GLP-1 pill for weight loss, so there are no needles needed. That's the best part, right? So if you're busy like me, HERS makes your goals attainable. I have mentioned my plateau a couple of times. So having access to dose changes, help with meal planning, fitness videos, and nutrition tips was what I needed to get back on track again. Ready to reach your goals? Visit 4HERS.com slash secret to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash secret. 4HERS.com slash secret. Weight Loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. WeGoV is the registered trademark of Nova Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGoVie clinical study information and restrictions, visit 4HERS.com. Check the show notes for the details. Speaker 1 (11:32) And we rejoin Chrissy as she's about to learn the art of sensual massage. Speaker 3 (11:37) And at the time, I had zero idea what it was. I was very naive. A Speaker 1 (11:42) moment ago, you gave me a very succinct definition of what it was. Correct. But in the 90s, what did you think it meant? Just a regular massage? Speaker 3 (11:52) Yeah, I really had zero idea. I thought, oh, maybe you're... Just dressed sexy, giving a massage. Like, I really, I had no idea. Right. Speaker 1 (12:04) I Speaker 3 (12:05) knew nothing about the sensual industry or the sex industry other than stripper grams. I knew nothing about the sex industry. But it intrigued me. Speaker 1 (12:13) Sounds like you decided to throw caution to the wind. Yeah. Well, Speaker 3 (12:16) not immediately. At first, I saw some ads and it said, no sex, sensual massage. And I just kind of tucked that away in the back of my mind. Wasn't ready to pull the trigger. And then I was doing