Jailbird Pizza: A Cookbook for Convicts

The Read

The hosts open with apocalyptic food humor before highlighting Dr. Joel Burrell's crowdfunded animated children's series on Prime Video. They transition into pop culture and legal

Key takeaways

• Dr. Joel Burrell raised nearly $62,000 for 'The Doctor is In,' an animated medical series on Prime Video featuring personified tools like Otto the doctor's bag and Zeta the x-ray machine.
• The woman who shot up Rihanna and ASAP Rocky's home was deemed mentally fit to stand trial, with hosts noting she will likely face prison time after a four-month mental evaluation process.

Main topics

• Animated children's programming and medical education
• Celebrity legal trials and mental fitness evaluations

Notable quotes

"If prison, if the ordinary prison experience came with niggas making your bed, doing your laundry, massaging you, giving you henny, and making shrimp fried rice for you, everybody would want to go."

Conclusion

The episode balances lighthearted pop culture commentary with serious discu

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:30) I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Speaker 1 (0:42) Prodigy fans. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Speaker 1 (0:51) I am Jasmine Guy. Speaker 2 (0:55) And I am flying the Minnesota Lynx to the Caribbean island of their choosing. You girls just let me know when you're ready. And this is The Read. Thank you for joining us. Speaker 1 (1:09) It is the read. And have fun out there, Lynx. I'm assuming that you did something really good. I know that you did something really good. Speaker 2 (1:20) They did. You're right about that. You are correct. Yes. Speaker 1 (1:23) It's just I try not to report on it as much as I used to. Just not being credited the way that I deserve to be. Right. Speaker 2 (1:31) No, they played in your face. So, absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for Speaker 1 (1:35) getting it. Yep. Well, everyone. Summer's officially over, and here we are, just trying to make it through. Speaker 1 (1:47) war Destruction. Speaker 1 (1:53) And figuring out whatever the fuck we can actually eat. Speaker 2 (1:57) Because the list keeps shrinking. Are we great yet? It's Speaker 1 (2:01) freakish. Speaker 2 (2:02) It is. Like, I'm telling you, these people. Anyway, Speaker 1 (2:06) but yeah. Can we eat rice? Speaker 2 (2:09) you're going to have to pry rice out of my cold, dead hands. And they're like, exactly, sister. You will indeed die. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's the plan. You're actually prying Speaker 1 (2:20) out of your cold, dead body. Speaker 2 (2:23) No, I'm sorry. Stuff like rice, beans, lentils. You know, like, if that stuff, if we can't eat that, baby, all right. Speaker 1 (2:32) You know, if rice hits the list, I'm burning. Speaker 2 (2:36) I'm out. Yeah. I think. Half the planet is immediately out. Speaker 1 (2:40) Yeah, that's going to be the rough one. Speaker 2 (2:42) I tried, but I'm out. Speaker 1 (2:46) In fact, The Last of Us, which you don't know much about, but The Last of Us became an HBO show, like a zombie thing based on a video game that I love. Speaker 2 (2:54) And Speaker 1 (2:54) I feel like the TV show created an origin for the sickness, the disease, the virus, where it was like something got into... into like a grain facility, like bread or rice, something like that. Nightmare. Speaker 2 (3:12) It Speaker 1 (3:12) started there, and that's how it crossed the planet. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Nightmare. Bread, rice. Right. That would be it. That Speaker 2 (3:21) every fucking body eats. Right. Grains. That's Cheerios. Every toddler's dead now. We can't do this. Speaker 1 (3:28) Literally. No. Speaker 2 (3:30) It's Speaker 1 (3:30) goldfish. Speaker 2 (3:32) Right. Baby. Nutri-Grain bars, all that shit. All of it. As Speaker 1 (3:37) someone who has had to go gluten-free... Speaker 2 (3:39) Oh, that's right, you did. Speaker 1 (3:42) It's in pretty much everything. Yeah, it is. Speaker 2 (3:45) It's in things Speaker 1 (3:45) you wouldn't expect it to be. You're right about that. Not soup. Soup. Oh, no. Speaker 2 (3:53) You know, that's very sad and not, that's not okay. Speaker 1 (3:58) Now your baby got sick from the goddamn lettuce. And now they can't have a chicken noodle soup. Now they're dead. Right. They can't have Speaker 2 (4:05) fruit. Now they've died. Can't have Speaker 1 (4:06) fruit. Speaker 2 (4:07) Every baby is obsessed with blueberries, raspberries, and et cetera. And you just cannot have none of that. Speaker 1 (4:13) Yeah. It's now the time where you can go, yes, you actually can just have a Jolly Rancher for breakfast. They won't fit. Because what different does it make? Speaker 2 (4:22) At least the Jolly Rancher will keep you alive another day. Jolly Rancher and Doritos. That'll be all of us. Speaker 1 (4:28) Yeah. Just trying to get whatever Speaker 2 (4:30) nutrients we can out of that. Speaker 2 (4:34) Well, Speaker 1 (4:34) let's stay focused on the Cinnamon Girls by saying something positive about life. Yeah, okay. In our segment, Black Excellence. Black Excellence this week is going to go over to someone named Dr. Joel Burvell. The girl who's online may know this Canadian-American physician as Medical Mythbuster. But he's now got an animated children's medical series called The Doctor is In that is available on Prime Video. Reading this on becauseofthemwecan.com. Shout out to the dolls. It says the show follows Burrell as a pediatrician alongside Leland. Love that name. A curious five-year-old patient who asks questions about the body, health, and medicine. It also has animated medical tools as you need Speaker 2 (5:21) in Speaker 1 (5:22) children's programming. You have to have the objects that have a face and speak. Otherwise, what are we doing? And so here we've got Otto, the doctor's bag. Sammy, the stethoscope. That one was always taking me through there, that word. Because why did they do that? Stethoscope. And Zeta, the x-ray machine. The actual animation, like the drawing of this character is delightful. It's like a really, really good cartoon quality. Speaker 1 (5:56) It says here also that this was an idea born of Dr. Joel's own experience of not seeing many doctors who looked like him in children's media, which is usually where these things begin with us. We're like, all right, I guess I'll do it. Speaker 2 (6:09) Because we definitely exist. I don't know why we're not on the TV, but we're here. Speaker 1 (6:14) In medicine, needing medicine, wouldn't you know? So it debuted last year. And yeah, you can check it out now on Amazon. The Prime video. Again, it is called The Doctor is In. Go check them out. Say hi. Send some words of positive affirmation. I mean, this was crowdfunded. Nice. And raised nearly $62,000. So maybe I'm late. You know? But we're Speaker 2 (6:48) here. But we're Speaker 1 (6:49) here. Yeah, we're here. Speaker 1 (6:52) Okay, let's get into the pop culture fuckery in a segment that we call Hot Tops. Speaker 1 (7:01) Um, we're gonna be in. Speaker 1 (7:05) The lady who shot up Rihanna in ASAP Rocky House is set to stand trial. Speaker 2 (7:11) Mm-mm. Speaker 1 (7:14) As of hearing today. Speaker 1 (7:18) And, um... Speaker 2 (7:20) Today, September 30th? Speaker 1 (7:23) Yeah, today. Speaker 2 (7:23) Okay. Speaker 1 (7:25) And, um... There isn't any specific word so far on the details of the trial or like the actual date of the trial which had a hearing today. And I guess they're still putting together a lot of the specifics. Speaker 1 (7:44) But, you know, it's not looking good for her and she's likely going to be spending time in prison. I mean, obviously. I Speaker 2 (7:51) mean, almost certainly, yes. But I'm wondering if, oh, it says right here, deemed mentally fit to stand trial. Well, I was wondering if they were going to try for that, but, um, nope. Looks like, oh, okay. They took four months. So, yeah, girl. They, mm. Woo. Yep. I see prison in your future, sister. Speaker 2 (8:15) I do. Speaker 1 (8:16) I do, too. I Speaker 2 (8:17) can't imagine how scary that had to have been for Rihanna and Rocky, though. Knowing your babies are right there and some lunatic is shooting at your property. Oh, no, no, no. Speaker 1 (8:27) Tell me at a yummy. Speaker 1 (8:31) author of children blood and bone who's notoriously said at this point that she will not be going to watch the film adaptation of her book Speaker 2 (8:40) has Speaker 1 (8:41) spoken out again i think with the guardian Speaker 1 (8:47) And it's basically double down on what she was saying before, that it was the worst experience that she ever had. She said she's still being antagonized by a theme. Speaker 2 (8:56) Antagonized? She's dealt Speaker 1 (8:57) with severe somatic pain and so many panic attacks. Speaker 1 (9:02) And... That she's not going to get into the specifics. Speaker 2 (9:06) Well... Girl, were you abused? Should we be boycotting this movie? Like... Speaker 1 (9:11) That's what I want to... Like, because I'm going. Unless... Right. Like, I need to... Because... Okay. So... Speaker 1 (9:24) I just don't. I know there's paperwork. Speaker 2 (9:27) Yes. And I did hear about she didn't realize that she wasn't going to have final say over the screenplay. Speaker 1 (9:34) That Speaker 2 (9:34) she got she get I think, according to her contract, she got like creative control over the first adaptation. But then, you know, obviously the studio, et cetera, they are legally entitled to do rewrites and things like that. So that's what I saw, something like she was upset over that, which I can understand. But also your lawyer or agent or somebody should have fully gone over your contract with you before you signed it so that you knew 100 percent. that that was an option, but... Speaker 2 (10:06) Sister, I mean, you talking about shaking, crying, throwing up and having panic attacks and all this like hyperventilating, sobbing, still being antagonized. Like, I really wish you would give us just a crumb of details so that those of us who want to support like this incredible looking movie, but also don't want to shit on a black woman can make an educated decision. What are we supposed to do? Speaker 1 (10:32) It's so frustrating. Yeah. It really is. Because I don't want to just leap into the arms of this. Right. What looks to be an amazing production if it is shitting on a Black woman, especially if something really immoral happened to her. Yes. But if it's something like her not getting final say over the screenplay and then ultimately being unsatisfied with the final version of her baby, essentially. Right. I get that. It's not going to stop me from going to watch it. Speaker 2 (11:03) Right. That alone is not enough for me. That's really something to take up with your people, your team, as far as that part is concerned. So, yeah, Speaker 1 (11:12) I feel the same way. To be honest with you, it would have been... Like, incredibly unlikely. Speaker 1 (11:22) for something like for her to have had final say. Like, that doesn't happen. Right, right, right. Exactly. That doesn't happen. Where you sell the rights to a studio or a network or anything like that, and they give you full final say over the film. You're not directing it. Speaker 2 (11:41) You're Speaker 1 (11:42) not the studio. That's very unlikely to take place. And it's a common frustration with people in her position where they're just like, okay, girl, this doesn't feel anything like what it is that I wrote. Speaker 2 (11:59) And I Speaker 1 (12:00) guess contractually there ain't shit I could do about it. And I'm probably going to speak up more and more and more like that's the wrong color hair or this isn't the shape of the thing or it wouldn't be here or whatever. and get back, okay, well, tough, this is the place we scouted, or the director likes us better, or we don't have the budget for that, or whoop-de-whoop-de-whoop. And then you're just like, one thing becomes one thing becomes three things becomes five things. And then you're like, well, my heart isn't in anymore. I get that. Yep. Me too. 100%. As the person whose baby it is. Yep. It's just not going to stop me from going to go experience this. Speaker 2 (12:40) Right. Like you, you are a book writer and you're very good at it. But movie making is a different thing. And so, like you said, it was going to be extremely unlikely as somebody who has never, to my knowledge, written a screenplay or produced a movie before. It's very unlikely that a studio was going to give you that level of control. But I just would love to know if it's deeper than that. Because that, you know, like if I was your homegirl, yeah, girl, we not going to the movie. But me as a regular, regular person, I'm still going if that is your only issue with it. Speaker 1 (13:14) Like, maybe that awful, terrible, beastly, transphobic witch, what if she was like, she might have been like, where's Pete? Speaker 2 (13:26) I mean, and that was my question, actually. Speaker 1 (13:29) And Warner Brothers was probably like, who? We don't. No one cares. Speaker 2 (13:34) We don't need the ghosts floating through the fucking campus, bitch. Is Moaning Myrtle in the movies even? Speaker 1 (13:41) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:42) Oh, okay. Speaker 1 (13:44) It's like half a second. She's only in one of them. Speaker 2 (13:46) Okay. Speaker 1 (13:48) George R.R. Martin in Game of Thrones. Oh. He didn't even finish writing that. Right. And they said, don't Speaker 2 (13:54) even Speaker 1 (13:54) worry Speaker 2 (13:54) about it. We'll figure it out. And he said, yeah, go right ahead because I'm still getting paid and I can write whatever the fuck story I want to when it's ready to come out. The bitches will be buying it anyway. So I don't give a fuck. It was also very Speaker 1 (14:08) much like y'all can hold my dick since it feels like you know better than me. Like I figured we were all here because of this thing that I wrote, all of these things that I wrote. And it's been. Pretty decent up until you decided that you want to do. So don't talk to me. Yes, my checks are clearing. Fans, don't ask me nothing else. I don't have anything for you. He was frustrated. Speaker 2 (14:30) I mean, but you see how we would still be waiting on the last season of Game of Thrones because that man has still not put out that book? Speaker 1 (14:38) And... Speaker 1 (14:41) When the season came out, it was heavily criticized. It Speaker 2 (14:45) was. Speaker 1 (14:46) So possibly this movie will come out and people will watch it, whether they enjoyed it or not, and go, well, girl, what about the shape of that outfit and the color of that hair? And then maybe you, maybe, Speaker 2 (15:01) she Speaker 1 (15:02) can, you know, sit wherever she is with her check and go, I try to tell these bitches. Yeah. Speaker 2 (15:10) Maybe. Never know. But it's not looking great. Speaker 1 (15:17) I'm going. I'm going. I'm keeping my eyes and ears to the streets. Since Speaker 2 (15:22) she won't tell us what they actually did to her. Speaker 2 (15:29) I mean, you're putting people in the position to be like, okay, so then I guess I'm going to do whatever I really want to do. Since you're not going to tell us what happened. Speaker 1 (15:39) And not like I can't share the specifics. Speaker 2 (15:43) I won't. Speaker 1 (15:46) I don't know, man. Speaker 2 (15:47) That's very different. I mean... Speaker 2 (15:51) I think what it sounds like is a massive, and I mean like Gulf of Mexico difference between expectations and reality. Speaker 1 (16:02) For sure. Speaker 2 (16:03) But I would, yeah, if anybody, well, never mind. She's been pretty clear about not going to share the details. But, you know, you also can't be shocked when people turn around and then still support the movie. Were they calling you out your name? Was it racial aggressions? Was it? Like I can't Speaker 1 (16:22) I Speaker 2 (16:22) don't know Speaker 1 (16:23) well Speaker 1 (16:25) I was going to say, I can't believe it would be racial aggressions, but I don't even know why I just said that. I don't even know why I just said that. Right. They could have had every Black person up on, you know, all of these receipts of production. It's going to be two white people from the studio that's going to be like, well, Speaker 2 (16:44) what are they saying? Well, I don't understand what they're saying. Right. Speaker 1 (16:49) So let me backtrack there. But there should also, there's got to be like a support group. Speaker 1 (16:55) for screenwriters and authors who've had this happen to them who can sit down and just heal. Speaker 1 (17:02) Because, girl, it happens a lot. Why do you think there's so many adaptations of stuff that people watch and are like, this was nothing like what I read? Speaker 2 (17:15) Yeah. And people usually think the book is better. Speaker 1 (17:19) And Speaker 2 (17:20) that will probably be the case here. First of all, books can go into a lot more detail. Movies need to end at some point. And movies cost a lot more money to make. Speaker 1 (17:31) Yep. Speaker 2 (17:31) So they Speaker 1 (17:33) cut Speaker 2 (17:33) corners in order to produce something. And so it's rare that the movie is better than the book. And that probably will not be, you know, any different here. But I also can't expect people who have loved these stories for however many years they've been out to be like, oh, I guess I'm not going to go to the movie, even though I don't know why I'm not going to the movie. Like that is also unrealistic. Speaker 1 (17:57) And I mean... You know, with respect, I have not seen anything from her saying, don't go watch it. She's just said, I'm not going to watch it. Speaker 2 (18:08) And I Speaker 1 (18:08) had a terrible time. So I think it's mostly us just going, well, girl, should we not watch it? Yes, Speaker 2 (18:16) this is what I'm saying. Speaker 1 (18:17) If they do something terrible to you, I don't want to go watch it. Speaker 2 (18:20) I don't want to, right. But you're kind of leaving us, you're leaving it in our hands. So yeah, niggas is going to go. Speaker 1 (18:28) Yeah, my hand's gonna grab a ticket. I don't know what else to tell you. Well, let's talk about Megan Thee Stallion. Let's talk about Megan Thee Stallion. Let's talk about Megan Thee Stallion. Speaker 2 (18:43) Let's do that. Speaker 1 (18:48) Let's just start with the freestyle. Let's just start with the freestyle. Let's just start with the freestyle. Speaker 1 (18:54) The Tina snow she's back and I mean we knew that We know that it was teased It Speaker 2 (19:01) was what Speaker 1 (19:01) makes me sick of this bitch is when she's like, here's a banger. It's a freestyle Speaker 1 (19:07) Car referred you know me because it's like whatever this could be whatever it's not even like Now I'm calling this a lead single. I just wanted to soft launch your impending doom and destruction. Speaker 2 (19:22) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Speaker 1 (19:24) Here I am, throwing ass, looking gorgeous, giving you about six different flows. Yeah. Shade left and right, and then you can see me have a good evening. Speaker 2 (19:34) And it actually took me several hours to even really clock the lyrics. Unfortunately, I was just staring at her. Speaker 2 (19:44) I'm like, oh, yeah, this sounds good, but I cannot stop looking at her. Megan, how do you look like that? Like, I know the body. I know you're in the gym and all that, but it's not even just the body. It's everything together. The skin is just so smooth and glowing and perfect, and everything is just sitting. Oh, my God. I had it on a loop. That TikTok, she probably released it on every platform, but that little teaser she put out. Speaker 2 (20:14) No better than a man, my God. So it took me actually several hours to go back and be like, oh, she's actually coming for some necks in this. Yeah, girl. Speaker 1 (20:23) That Speaker 2 (20:23) glow situation, I told you. I told you, niggas. Speaker 1 (20:27) Speaking of wanting to know what happened, I still just need, I'm, that one's still. Speaker 1 (20:35) Stings. Speaker 2 (20:36) And Speaker 1 (20:37) I just wish I understood what happened. Yeah. Guess we won't be getting specifics of that either. I loved Come Get Your Hoe Bitch because, yes, call these niggas hoes. That's what they are. Speaker 2 (20:52) That's exactly what they are. And they love it. They'd give that dick to anybody. Speaker 1 (21:00) I ain't gotta settle. I'm a motherfucking native. Speaker 1 (21:06) Looked too good, AI couldn't generate it. I don't have to settle I'm a native. Speaker 2 (21:15) A Speaker 1 (21:16) college degree. A college graduate. Educated. Speaker 2 (21:20) She was like, have y'all heard of colonization? Speaker 1 (21:24) I did see comments on that. Like, what is it? I don't get that part. And I was like, damn. Speaker 2 (21:29) Oh, no. Open the schools. Speaker 1 (21:31) How did you make it through Kendrick and Drake? Speaker 2 (21:33) Oh, they probably did not. Speaker 1 (21:36) Because that one had some shit that I'm still like, oh, wow. Speaker 1 (21:42) We'll Speaker 2 (21:43) go back to it. Speaker 1 (21:45) I love the references. I love the still tipping. I love the... Speaker 1 (21:51) I mean, I think you would call this an old boy. What do you call this kind of car? Speaker 2 (21:56) Oh, I have no idea, actually. Speaker 2 (21:59) It's an old Speaker 1 (22:01) boy. I think that's what we call him in Miami. I Speaker 2 (22:04) don't think I've ever heard that before. Speaker 2 (22:10) Oh, okay. I was about to say, is it not a caddy? Speaker 1 (22:14) That might be a category. That's what... I'm typically. That's what I'm used to people calling. Right. Speaker 2 (22:23) But yeah, sounds good. Looks good. Just so, so fun. Speaker 2 (22:31) And yeah, it was the part that seemed to be directed towards GLOW or could have been about GLOW, also could have been probably about a whole lot of other people. But it was that that kind of grabbed my attention once I put my tongue back in my mouth. Speaker 1 (22:46) He's also walking Victoria's Secret's fashion show Speaker 1 (22:50) and said that that's a dream come true. Probably not just for her, Speaker 2 (22:55) but Speaker 1 (22:56) for many of the people who are going to be watching it. Speaker 1 (23:00) Audis, my dream has finally come true. I'm in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. Tune in October 18th. See me get my wings. I wonder if she's probably going to perform. Speaker 1 (23:12) Ooh. Yeah, probably so. You know, we have this form now. Speaker 2 (23:15) Yeah, in, like, one of the custom angels' outfit, I'm sure. Yeah. I did see that they pulled up a tweet of hers from, like, 2011 of, I'm going to be in the Victoria's Secret fashion show one day. So it really is, like, a long-ass dream that she's had that's finally coming true. And when I heard it, I thought, oh, have you not done that already? Because it seems like such a natural match for her. Speaker 2 (23:39) I did she do Fenty maybe or but Megan and a lingerie brand that just goes together because she always showing us her ass anyway. So like, yeah, put it in lace, put it in satin and silk and all of that. Like, I would love to see it. So I I think she'll probably do this Tina Tuesday freestyle and then. Hmm. Speaker 2 (24:02) I'm wondering how much we're going to get from Act 3. I Speaker 1 (24:06) think Speaker 2 (24:06) all of this is just leading up to, or a promo for whenever Act 3 is going to come out. Speaker 1 (24:14) Yeah, I mean maybe by then we'll have like a single Speaker 2 (24:19) Maybe. Speaker 1 (24:20) Or... She might as go out there and do a little medley or something and be like, well. I am fine. So, like, complaints? Where? Speaker 1 (24:37) But yeah, it definitely feels like this next phase of her Megan trilogy, I'm assuming it'll be three, Speaker 2 (24:47) is Speaker 1 (24:48) around the corner. And my word, must she have inspiration? Speaker 1 (24:55) At this point. Speaker 2 (24:57) Wait, what you mean? Speaker 1 (24:58) Passing who up in reference to what? Speaker 2 (25:03) To Speaker 1 (25:04) pass and who up and fresh. Oh, Speaker 2 (25:06) yeah. Speaker 2 (25:08) Damn it. They bringing up hits. You bitches should duck. Speaker 1 (25:16) you Speaker 2 (25:18) I'm sorry. I love her so much. Why Speaker 1 (25:19) every bitch that hate me got a little look to them. Speaker 2 (25:22) Well... Like, and y'all be... Speaker 2 (25:28) I'm going to stop because I feel like that she might have meant something almost a little problematic by that. But she didn't outright say it, so I do respect it. But I just love, I don't know, I don't get tired of her flow. The people who are like, oh my gosh, she sounds the same on every song. Girl, suck my dick. She sounds amazing on every song. The flow is great on every song. Megan be rapping her ass off. She Speaker 1 (25:50) has like Speaker 2 (25:50) five different Speaker 1 (25:51) flows on this freestyle. So. Why do they keep saying that? And that's pretty like a pocket. Oh, same way. Lots of Cardi has a pocket. Speaker 1 (26:04) Cardi has a pocket. Drake has a pocket. Nicki Minaj has a... Like, they have, like, a flow that is very distinct and specific to them. And then they also switched it up. I don't understand why... Whatever. Yeah, I do. It's... She's the one that y'all like to pick apart. Yeah. Speaker 2 (26:22) That pretty brown-skinned bitch look like I'm toasted. That's my next Instagram caption. I'm just waiting. Speaker 2 (26:30) Snatchies! That was my favorite. Speaker 2 (26:36) Oh, she's so fun. And did you see the, she did a verse on that. He want to lick my bum, but got my raw to talk, talk, talk. Speaker 1 (26:44) Yes. That's how you sound when you straight be trying to speak in a Jamaican accent. Speaker 2 (26:51) Now he want to Speaker 1 (26:52) lick my boom, my raw. I love that fucking song. I Speaker 2 (26:56) do too, but I sound better than that. Let me warm up the voice. Speaker 1 (27:01) Please don't. I'll do it Speaker 2 (27:03) later in the program. Speaker 1 (27:05) Yeah. And Miami, I'm not talking about dunk. I know that they're also called dunk riders. I'm not talking about their work. The car. Speaker 1 (27:18) But other people might call donks something else. Something else. Like morning dew. Speaker 2 (27:23) Indeed. Speaker 1 (27:25) Um... Speaker 1 (27:29) Excuse me. Hello. Speaker 1 (27:33) Still not paying bills. Thanks. You better let her live. Speaker 2 (27:39) She said, what do paying bills have to do with it? Speaker 2 (27:45) Love her. Speaker 1 (27:49) Apparently Sean Combs gets nudes in prison. He's getting massages, Hennessy, and specially cooked meals by his fellow inmates that he's apparently paying thousands of dollars for. Duh. Spokesperson for Sean Combs said, Speaker 1 (28:09) The continued scrutiny of every mundane detail of Sean Combs' life in prison has reached the point where the media characterizes ordinary prison life as Speaker 2 (28:22) news. Speaker 1 (28:24) The only real news is that Sean continues to serve his sentence while awaiting the court's decision on his appeal. So... What? Has this person been drinking the K-laced baby wine? Speaker 2 (28:39) Because what are you talking about? If prison, if the ordinary prison experience came with niggas making your bed, doing your laundry, massaging you, giving you henny, and making shrimp fried rice for you, everybody would want to go. Speaker 1 (28:55) I would have been locked up. Speaker 2 (28:57) That sounds like a goddamn vacation. That sounds like a spa day, bitch. What are you talking about? This is not no normal shit. And they can't do none of it without the COs and the prison administrators letting all that shit in. So it's all corrupt. What you mean y'all turning everyday regular prison life into some big story bitch? Do you know how many women would commit crimes right now if it meant they got to go to prison and have that kind of experience? Speaker 1 (29:25) The amount of us who fight to stay out. Speaker 2 (29:31) The whole point of prison is supposed to be uncomfortable. You're not supposed to have a fucking phone. You're not supposed to have meals on. It's not supposed to have DoorDash in prison, bitch. What are you talking about? I Speaker 1 (29:40) just told a nigga this past weekend outside the reason that I want to go home instead of jail because I like sleeping in my bed. Speaker 2 (29:49) Yeah, a lot. I Speaker 1 (29:50) like my comfort in my bed. Speaker 2 (29:52) What you mean this nigga can bring in his own mattress and got niggas doing his chores? Speaker 1 (29:57) If you're telling me I can have a deep tissue massage and nudes and Hennessy down to the jail. Speaker 1 (30:04) Yeah. How did they win in? Let me Speaker 2 (30:05) go in and book my stay. What can I do to get in there? Speaker 1 (30:10) A spokesperson for the prison said, like all correctional agencies, contraband, particularly cell phones, narcotics and weapons remain a constant challenge. Speaker 2 (30:20) Yeah. Speaker 1 (30:21) And we continue to tackle... Speaker 2 (30:23) Right. The prisoners, I'm bringing it in. Y'all do. Speaker 1 (30:29) To tackle the problem of contraband being introduced into our facilities. Who is we? Yeah, there's a legitimate photograph right here Speaker 2 (30:38) of Speaker 1 (30:39) Diddy on his... Speaker 2 (30:40) On a phone. Speaker 2 (30:43) Looking at nudes. Are you kidding? Speaker 1 (30:46) And my question is, who took this picture? Exactly. Was it another inmate with a cell phone or was it a CO? And Speaker 2 (30:54) now cell phones might be the one thing that a lot of niggas can get. Speaker 1 (30:58) Yes. Speaker 2 (30:59) The rest of this though. Speaker 1 (31:01) Massages and specially cooked meals. That Speaker 2 (31:04) nigga got drugs. He got antidepressants, premium liquor. What you having just a club night in your cell? Does Speaker 1 (31:12) he get a cockatiel too? A penternal? Speaker 2 (31:16) They finna say Diddy got a puppy in Speaker 1 (31:18) there. Right. And they Speaker 2 (31:20) let that nigga have a cat. Speaker 1 (31:22) Didn't Ghislaine Maxwell have a puppy parade or something? Dish? Don't do that. Remember they said that they brought her puppies? Did they do that? What? To boost her spirits? To be nice to her, I guess. And keep her from snitching on her? To keep her Speaker 2 (31:36) from... She was briefly given access to a service puppy to play with. Oh my God. Speaker 2 (31:45) Okay. So you see, they probably would indeed let him do, you know how one of them, I don't know which media outlet it is, but they do these interviews where celebrities come in and they give them a bunch of puffs. Speaker 1 (31:58) He gonna shoot one