The Most Unexpected Calls We’ve Taken | The Best of The Ramsey Show

The Ramsey Show Highlights

This compilation of The Ramsey Show features hosts tackling six highly unusual financial and relationship calls, ranging from a couple debating buying a firearm for their emergency fund to a woman whose husband is深陷 sovereign citizen conspiracy theories that have

Key takeaways

• Dave Ramsey strongly advises against using an emergency fund to buy a firearm for a suspicious visitor, recommending a $500 BYRNA non-lethal device instead and stressing that lethal force is only justified when family members are in immediate danger inside the home.
• A caller whose boyfriend of four years gave her a 'list' of personal flaws she must fix to earn an engagement receives unanimous advice from the hosts to leave, citing conditional love, emotional manipulation, and the unhealthy dynamic of repeatedly relocating for him.

Main topics

• Emergency fund allocation for self-defense
• Conditional love and relationship red flags

Notable quotes

"We just escalated from a lost cell phone to somebody dead on your front porch."

Conclusion

The episode reinforces Ramsey's core philosophy that financial and relational stability require

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) My question is whether my husband and I should pull some money from our emergency fund in order to buy a gun. Speaker 2 (0:07) Thank you. 35 years of doing this, that's the first time I've heard that question. What is the emergency? How would a gun be an emergency? Speaker 1 (0:17) Yeah. I don't necessarily think it is, but my husband does. So we had a weird situation that happened just a couple of days ago where it was like 11 o'clock at night, and some guy started banging on our door, and we talked to him through the ring camera, and he was saying that somebody stole his phone and that it was GPS pinging to our address. And then it was probably 45 minutes to an hour before he actually left. Like he was looking around our property and then he was sitting in his car, just like sitting in front of our house waiting. It was very strange. Speaker 2 (0:52) Why did it take the police that long to get there if you had a property invasion going on? Speaker 1 (0:58) I'm not really sure. They said that he, we did call the police. They said that he had also called them about the phone, and I guess they decided it wasn't an emergency. He didn't seem like he was trying to break into the house. He was just looking around on our yard. Speaker 2 (1:15) So you're going to shoot him? Speaker 1 (1:18) Well, my husband, I think, is concerned that if he did come back and, like, did decide, like, he was just not going to Speaker 2 (1:25) go Speaker 1 (1:25) to Speaker 2 (1:25) the police. You're going Speaker 1 (1:25) to shoot him? He's just going to break into our house. Instead Speaker 2 (1:27) of tell the cops to come? Speaker 1 (1:31) Yeah, well. Listen, let me just tell you. I'm with you. Let me stop. Speaker 2 (1:35) I carry a gun. I'm a gun guy, okay? But there's no case like that that I'm going to shoot somebody. Speaker 1 (1:43) Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:44) We just escalated from a lost cell phone to somebody dead on your front porch. Speaker 1 (1:49) Right. No, Speaker 2 (1:50) this is not okay. That's not a, it's not the way to solve the problem. Speaker 1 (1:55) Yeah. Speaker 2 (1:56) The only reason you would shoot someone is if they're inside your home about to harm your family. Not banging on your door, not scaring you, not all of that. You don't go out in the front yard and wave your gun around because he's sitting in your driveway. You call the cops six times and say, get your butt over here. One of us is in danger, and I'm not sure which one it is. But you jack the police up and let them do their job. But you don't wander out in the front yard. You'll get shot. Speaker 1 (2:25) Yeah, I think he's just concerned that if something worse were to happen and somebody were to break into our house, he's like, if we don't have it now, we're not going to want to wait until something worse happens, I guess is where he's coming from. But I'm with you. I really... Speaker 2 (2:41) What is your household income? Speaker 1 (2:44) Um, so annual is about 85,000, but our monthly income during the winter, a lot of it's pretty heavily, um, it's higher in the summer. So during the winter we make about four to $5,000 a month. Speaker 2 (2:57) Okay. Um, I, Because I don't like his attitude about handling a firearm, I'm not going to tell you to buy a gun. Speaker 1 (3:09) Because I think Speaker 2 (3:10) you're going to get yourself in a lifetime of hurt if you handle these situations with a firearm. You don't use a firearm unless someone is about to die. Speaker 8 (3:23) Okay, Speaker 2 (3:23) you just don't. I mean, that's not what that's for. This guy on the ring doorbell thing is not even close to that. People like that, when they get shot, that's when you go to jail. Right. Or you spend a million dollars trying to not go to jail. And because you weren't even defending yourself, you just got spooked or you thought you were a BA or something. And so don't do that. Now, I will tell you that there's a product out there that I would put in your budget to address this concern. Okay? But it's not a firearm. It's a non-lethal firearm called a Burna. Speaker 1 (4:02) Oh, okay. Speaker 2 (4:04) BYRNA, and it'll cost you about 500 bucks. And it shoots a projectile that can either be pepper spray or a hard projectile that if you shoot someone with it, they will wish they had been shot. They'll go down, but they're not going to die. It's non-lethal. But if your husband pulls a Glock and empties a Glock into the guy's windshield because he freaks out. He's going to jail. Right. So that ain't cool. And you can buy a Glock for about 500 bucks, okay? Speaker 3 (4:32) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:33) So either one will do the job, and you can do that in your budget. It's not an emergency, though. But the fact that you all are reacting to this situation emotionally and actually calling this an emergency means you need to rethink how you're going to defend your home. Speaker 1 (4:47) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:48) And I got to tell you, again, I have a gun on my person. most of the time, but the chances of me pulling it out are zero. I will run away. I'm not going to shoot somebody. Yeah. I'm, I'm, but it's just too, there's just too much involved and it's not, it's not the answer. And, and, and, you know, the only time is if one of my grandkids or my kids or somebody was in danger, my wife was in danger. Um, yeah, Speaker 8 (5:17) but Speaker 2 (5:17) that's not, that's the only, the only way. And it would not be that I was scared at somebody knocking at my front door. I'm going to be on 911 talking to dispatch until somebody rolls up on this boy. and puts him down. He doesn't have to be wandering around my front yard scaring my wife and me. This guy needs to go down. And you guys did not communicate with law enforcement accurately and urgently enough to get some reaction. People don't need to be squirreling around my dadgum house. I don't care if he's drunk. I don't care if he's got the wrong address or... whatever, with a cell phone. Doesn't matter. All that stuff doesn't matter. You can't bust up on somebody's house like that without consequences. But put law enforcement on that, for God's sakes. No, buying a firearm for self-protection is not an emergency. What is an emergency is changing your situation so that if you need to spend some money on changing your situation so that you don't have this emergency, like you don't live there anymore, you move, or something like that, if you've got a place that's unsafe, then I would do that. But I'm not going to. you know, build Fort Knox over here and stick, you know, AR barrels out of every window to protect my house. No, we're not doing that. That's just not a good use of your life. You should be doing something other than that with your life. So, and I'm about as much a gun guy as anybody you'll ever talk to. So don't misunderstand. I'm not anti-2A. I'm anti-shooting people. Hello? That's a bad idea. Oh. Speaker 1 (6:53) I've been with my boyfriend for four years now, and we're at a fork in the road where we had a conversation yesterday, and he gave me a list of things I need to work on to earn an engagement. Should I leave? What? I know the answer. Wait, what? Speaker 2 (7:12) How old are you? Speaker 1 (7:14) I'm 31. He's 38. We've both been married. Can I ask not to be like overly vulnerable Emily be like what's on the list? Two things. I struggle with change and adversity. Speaker 2 (7:29) You struggle with change, and you struggle with adversity. Speaker 1 (7:34) With dealing with adversity. And Speaker 2 (7:37) you have to fix both of those to earn his hand. Speaker 1 (7:41) It's not something he wants to come home to every day for the rest of his life. Speaker 1 (7:47) What? Speaker 2 (7:51) Do Speaker 3 (7:52) you feel like you have that attitude while you are dating? Like, has there been conversations and he's like, you see the glass half empty. I need someone with the glass half full. Like, what have the conversations been before this list was created? Speaker 1 (8:06) It was a call. I asked a question back. Has it? Oh, have you always felt this way? He said, no, it's just been this last year. And I asked him. Well, we've gone through a lot of challenges and adversity this last year. It's probably been the most challenging year we've had. So what kind of Speaker 2 (8:26) adversity did you face that you weren't good at? Speaker 1 (8:30) According to him. I haven't changed my career and moved to, I've moved out of state three times in the last year to stay in this relationship, and I'm being asked to do it again, and I don't want to do it without a commitment. Speaker 2 (8:45) So the adversity is you've had all of these moves, and you're sick of it, and that means, according to him, you're not good at adversity. Speaker 1 (8:57) Yeah, and my response is if things can stabilize for more than one year, then I will be able to. Be content again. Speaker 2 (9:06) Why does he move every year? Speaker 1 (9:10) We're ambitious people. Promotions. We decided to open a franchise, which is why we moved, and it didn't work out. So there's been some financial hardship along the way that has caused more stress. Speaker 1 (9:27) So that's essentially what's been the most recent adversity we've gone through. And we're about to go through it again. So I'm a little nervous. I feel like I have to watch myself if I decide to move forward again. Speaker 2 (9:40) Sharon and I moved out of a home that we had had for 15 years that we built. Custom-made, beautiful home. And in 21, when people were paying... more for properties than they should have. Someone paid us more for that than they should have. And so we sold it, and we were homeless, and we went and bought a house, and we moved. Those were decisions we made together. Speaker 2 (10:04) and there was always stress associated with the move. But I don't think either one of us would call that adversity. That was we decided to change our location together, and together we changed our location. And whatever drama there was was outside of our house that was she and I facing that drama, not like I'm weak and I can't handle. the change and you're strong and you can. We didn't have that discussion because we both decided and did it together. So I'm a little bit confused coming from that point of view as to how moving is actually adversity. Speaker 3 (10:45) Well, she said she followed him around. She had to move three different times to stay in the relationship. So he's asking her to move with him. Speaker 2 (10:52) And she's like, Speaker 3 (10:53) I don't want to move again. I Speaker 2 (10:54) got that part, but I don't even think this, I think adversity is the wrong word. Speaker 3 (10:59) Okay, it could be the wrong word, but I think it's stressful. I think her following him and then having to quote-unquote put on a brave face and you can't even authentically be yourself when you are stressed. Speaker 2 (11:09) Adversity is you have a... Of having to move. You have a cancer diagnosis. Adversity is someone in your family has a sickness or an illness. Adversity is you got fired from a job. That was not your decision. Well, their franchise Speaker 3 (11:24) failed. Speaker 2 (11:25) Failed. A failed business is an adversity. But moving cities to take a better job and choosing to do that with your boyfriend is not adversity. It is change. It's dramatic change. And Speaker 3 (11:39) you could hate that, though. Yeah, Speaker 2 (11:40) and I'm good with hating it. I'm just curious. It's a curious word choice for me. Speaker 3 (11:45) On his part. Speaker 2 (11:46) Yeah. Or on yours to adopt it, either one. But interesting. Speaker 1 (11:54) Interesting. Yeah. So I think this Speaker 2 (11:55) doesn't come down to your deficit and he's got it all together. I think it comes down to you're sick of following this guy around. Speaker 1 (12:02) Yep. I don't get anything out of it. And he knows it. He Speaker 2 (12:07) knows you're sick of it, and he wants you to not be sick of it. And you're sick of it. Speaker 1 (12:12) Yeah, I feel like it's a too bad, so sad, oh well kind of response. Speaker 2 (12:16) Yeah, yeah. And Speaker 1 (12:18) it's just a fork in the road in my life. So I just listen to you guys every day. And that's heartbreaking, Emily. I'm sorry. You've Speaker 2 (12:26) been Speaker 1 (12:26) with them for four years, Speaker 3 (12:27) right? That's hard. The Speaker 2 (12:29) truth is just listening to you. I mean, you're not an immature little girl. You're a grown woman that's got strong intellect and you're articulate. Speaker 2 (12:40) I think when he said this, you've already made up your mind. You just wanted to hear us say it too, that it's weird. So I'll say it. It's weird. That's a weird request. if you had a daughter and her 18 year old boyfriend said, you have to do these three things to get married to me, you would tell your daughter run. Speaker 3 (12:59) I'd be like, here's, here's my list for you, Chad. Speaker 2 (13:03) You Speaker 3 (13:03) need to change these things too, Speaker 2 (13:05) Chad. Let's Speaker 3 (13:08) change your commitment issues, Chad. Speaker 2 (13:10) Man, Speaker 3 (13:11) I'm sorry. I've been following your Speaker 2 (13:12) butt around and all you got for the return for that's criticism. So yeah, I think you already made your. decision for you called us but it just you hadn't hadn't said it out loud and now you did Speaker 1 (13:27) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:28) I'm sorry. It hurts. I Speaker 1 (13:30) appreciate it. You know, it's just talking to like-minded people, getting their opinion on it. Speaker 3 (13:35) Yeah. Well, and here's the truth too, Emily. You want a partner, you want a spouse in your life if you choose to get married to him that you can come home and be who you need to be at home. And again, you don't, I mean, and I get that like some, you know, people complain in marriage, like so-and-so complains all the time, but there's a level of authenticity of like, I need to just like unload right now. Like I'm so stressed and I need you. to partner with me in that and hear that in me and empathize and ask questions, be curious, like do this life with me. Not that I have to image manage in front of my spouse. Do you know what I mean? Like that's, that's going to be an exhausting life. Yeah. Speaker 2 (14:07) I have to do this to earn. Yes. This is a conditional love versus unconditional love. Yeah. And we're getting your side of the Speaker 3 (14:14) story and I'll say more and more now we're, uh, we get DMS from the person on the other side of Speaker 2 (14:19) the Speaker 3 (14:19) story. You Speaker 2 (14:20) know Speaker 3