My In-Laws Disowned Us But Still Want Their $75,000

The Ramsey Show Highlights

A disabled police officer seeks advice regarding whether to continue paying his in-laws for Parent PLUS loans after being disowned by them.

Key takeaways

• The caller's in-laws disowned the family 18 months ago due to religious conversion and disapproval of his career.
• The dispute involves Parent PLUS loans for three children at DePaul University totaling upwards of $75,000.

Main topics

• Parent PLUS loans
• Family estrangement

Notable quotes

If that is the deal, that is the deal.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a warning about the complexities of verbal finan

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:02) Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Speaker 4 (0:06) My wife went to DePaul, and her father took out, and she has two other siblings, an older sister, younger brother. Her father took out a parent-plus loan for all three of them. And after everything happened with COVID and stuff, and they reinstituted loan payments. The father had it set up where these payments were auto-debited from his account. And then he expected his three children to individually, somehow there's a system with points to figure out the amount, Zelle him via the Zelle app that payment to replenish his bank account. My wife and I were complying to that and doing that because as Christians, you know, we want to do the right thing. But then there was an incident on Mother's Day over a year and a half ago where there was a disagreement. They do not like that my wife converted to Christianity and was baptized. And they also do not like me. I'm a disabled police officer, and they do not support my career or what I'm doing. And because of some mishaps, which have been apologized, multiple attempts of forgiveness, the father and mother and sister and brother. have completely disowned me and my wife. There has been zero communication to us for over that entire year and a half. And with that said, the father still wants the money. I am conflated with morality on what there is no written agreement. There was no contract. We're on fixed income. And we simply want to understand, you know, you don't want a relationship with your daughter. but you want her money. And with that said, does that, would that nullify, I mean, I understand legally the Parent PLUS loan is in his name and it's auto-debited from his account. It's also collective with the three students. It's not separate or individualized. Like my friend, for example, can log in on his own and pay from his own account, even though it was under his mother's name. It's not set up like that. It's all collective. And so I'm generally asking, should we continue to zell him? this payment. So before your wife went Speaker 3 (2:25) to DePaul, he said, I'm going to take out a Parent PLUS loan. And your wife looked at him and said, I will pay that. Or she went to DePaul and then he said, oh, by the way, you owe a bunch of money. Speaker 4 (2:41) It was, there really was no concrete conversation. My wife and I have discussed this. It was more just, it was assumed it would be paid by the kids. They did mention verbally. Who assumed it? Did the kid assume it? The father. I Speaker 3 (2:56) know, but I mean, did your wife promise him that she would