The Hidden Trauma Behind This Comedy Star's Rise to Fame | Margaret Cho

The Person Who Believed In Me - David Begnaud

Margaret Cho opens up about her formative relationship with English teacher James Jackson, who inspired her despite his controversial past. She reflects on trauma, mentorship, and the complexity of human nature. The episode explores how one person’s belief can shape a life, even amid darkness.

Key takeaways

• Teacher Jackson offered rare emotional support during her youth.
• She later learned he was accused of abuse, complicating her memories.
• She chooses to honor the impact he had, despite allegations.

Transcript preview

They wanted me to be a lot less fat. Like you're way too fat to be you. I don't know how to ask this question. Who sexually abused you? A lot of people. A lot of people? Yeah. My parents, they kind of gave up on me as any kind of future whatsoever. Wow. I think I was probably about 15 when I met him. He would write me such incredible encouragement and I just never thought an adult would take the time. time to do that in such a very gentle way. This is going to take some pretty wild turns, but Mr Jackson was murdered. Yes. The killer was a teenager living on the street, taken in by Mr Jackson, alleged Mr Jackson had gone on to groom him and sexually abuse him. It's, you know, that thing of separate the art from the artist, yet so complex. All I know is that he was there for me in a time of my life where I needed him. And it's it's me to do the same for a lot of comedians. As complicated as the story is as we presented, what would you want to say to him? Margaret Cho makes us laugh. She's a legendary comedian, but what you are about to witness is pretty intense. An hour before she walked into my house and our conversation began, my team and I uncovered information buried in court documents that revealed a person, Margaret says believed in how her was an alleged sexual predator and she had no clue. I told her off camera. I told her I understood completely if she wanted to just leave and cancel and she didn't. What followed is one of the most raw and revealing conversations I have ever been a part of. Welcome to the show Margaret Cho. Thank you. Great to see you. Who's with you? This is Lucia Catarina Cho. Seven years old. She's seven. Service animal? Yes. also my friend and got to meet Patington. My love, the love of my life. Yeah, beautiful boy. Why is she a service animal? She has, I mean, she's just a help to me, you know, I think she's just so incredibly intuitive about what I need, you know, and she's there for me just, I have a lot of like anxiety and I have a lot of different health issues and she's just, she's just as much as much. So she's a wonderful dog for the people who aren't watching but listening what kind of dog is she she's a chihuahua and a Dalmatian mix Oh wow I don't see it I don't either really pretty too she's really pretty as she licks your straw and cup I usually start with a picture but we couldn't find one mr. Jackson take me back to that time you were how old when you met him I think I was probably about 15 when I met him and I had just transferred schools. I had gone from Lowell and I got expelled for bad grades and poor attendance. Kind of truancy, I guess is the right term. And then I went and I auditioned to be in the School of the Arts and I was selected to go to that school so it was a very exciting thing and so. But James Jackson was not part of the, like he, there was two schools really, it was the school of the school of the art. So it was a very exciting thing. Arts, which was like the famous fame school, and then there was Macadir. So Mr. Jackson was part of Macadir, which was the regular high school. So we would have, half of our day would be spent in school of the arts and the other half would be in the regular high school. So he was a regular high school teacher. When I read the research that the producer had done with you, I thought, okay, well how meaningful can some notes from an English teacher be in your book. But they were, they were pretty profound. Yes. Tell me why. I think. I think that I think that I think that I think that I think that I think that I just never been acknowledged my creativity and you know it was just a really young kid so I never even thought about what that would mean I mean my parents had essentially given up on me because they were so disappointed that I had been kicked out of this very very prestigious school you know a lot of people would just move to our area just so that their kids could go there and it was an education that it wasn't that I didn't that I didn't that I didn't it's just that I didn't care, I didn't go, I was just not wanting to go to class and so my parents are so mad at me about that. They kind of gave up on me as it has any kind of future whatsoever. I mean it was really sad actually. So I was determined to kind of make it on my own terms like I don't really care about the school but it does have an arts program. I am interested in that and maybe I can do something. And so this writing project, which was Mr Jackson would give us this composition book at the beginning of the year and we would write essays in it and he would give it back to us after grading it and he would write me such incredible encouragement in the margins as part of grading just about how brilliant I was and how funny I was and how he really looked forward to reading me and I just never thought an adult would take the time to do that in such a very gentle way in a way in a way that was also a little bit evasive because it wasn't a kind of intimacy where we weren't talking about it. You know, we were just passing notes and there's just something so tender about that and so poetic, so I was really encouraged. Do you remember the first memory you had when you thought this makes me feel good what he just said? I mean it sounds so simple but I understand how profound it could be. One of the people who believed in me was also a teacher who also happened to be an English teacher was my speech coach Josette Surratt. Shout out to Miss Surratt. But tell me, do you remember, do you remember the first note you got? I don't expect you to remember every word, but you remember the feeling you had the first time he wrote that? It was really, it was just A-plus, so great, underlined and it just felt like, you know, I had forgotten, participated. You know, and it was also something that ignited something to me from before because before I went to the high school that I got kicked out of, I was an excellent student. I was really motivated. I was considered really, really smart, like, you know, whatever, in these sort of advanced classes and those kinds, that sort of AP kind of thing, like, and I really, forgotten that I had taken pride in that. And that when I heard that, when I had from him for the first time in a couple of years it really reinvigorated that student that that wanted to learn and wanted to excel. You talk about yourself as a kid trying to fit in but in many ways he was an adult trying to fit in too you describe him as a southern Barbara Walters. He had a speech impediment and had a funny I guess southern way of talking. Yeah, he I can't even describe him as a southern how it was it was very curlicous it was Tennessee Williams but it was Bob or Walter it was yeah it was a very odd way of speaking combined with this hair that was just from the 1960s which at that time actually think about it it really wasn't that long ago like so if it was maybe 16 or 17 years past its prime but you know that's really not that outdated If we think about today's culture, it's like really not that long ago. I mean, this is the 60s, but you know. A peculiar character, right? Road a motorcycle. Right, a motorcycle. Leather jacket, like right out of the wild ones, like that Marlon Brown down. Cigarettes in the sleeve? Yes. You know, and she want some water. No, baby. For people listening, the dog is drinking water out of the cup. I mean, you want to talk about VIP service. And she want some of you watching it doesn't get much cuter than this because I would do the same thing for Patington. Yeah. The same thing. Can I tell you just for a moment I didn't grow up with dogs? I didn't want a dog and my partner basically forced a dog on me. I had never known the love of a dog. And we got Patington and Margaret I am here to tell you he has changed my life. He's a beautiful dog. Thank you. He's just so sweet and be like fluffy like a teddy like a teddy bear. He's like a toy. He's like a toy. He's like a toy. He's like a toy. He's like a toy. He's like a toy. he fits his name patington like a little bear you know when people talk like oh I never wanted kids then I had a kid and it's the best thing it's kind of the same like I just daddy had hunting dogs but they were dogs that lived outside they didn't live inside and so the idea of having one inside I just didn't want and I'm telling you I'm now that person people roll their eyes at I will take padding to a restaurant to a restaurant and people look at me like I'm like I'm like look at that person bringing that damn dog in here it's very French it's very French I am French so back to mr Jackson he himself dealt with a lot of bullying yes did you see that did you hear that I didn't see it firsthand you know I think that like I just heard about it because we were also in class with a lot of jocks you know the boys in the school who were all sort of in the sports teams and very alpha male very misogynistic very homophobic who were always sort of talking about Mr Jackson behind us back and saying this faggot and you know that kind of stuff and you know Mr Jackson which is kind of like a not oblivious but also just not caring like he didn't really take it to heart. How did that impact you because you are now openly gay? Yes. But you've been previously married to a man and you haven't been openly gay your whole life. him gay, but I certainly was very much in the closet when I was in school. So you were in the closet then. When you saw that happening to him, how did it make you feel? It made me feel really scared. You know, also it just made me really think about how hard it was just to be honest in life, you know, how hard it was to just really present who you were. Not to say that I really cared about when any of these boys thought anyway, like it was, it was, as if I was in the running of like who they would consider a girl anyway you know like I was an overweight teenager I was kind of like really just trying to stay near the wall so I don't get bullied like that kind of wallflower behavior like I'm just gonna try to blend in to my surroundings so that I just don't get bullied so when you sort of hear that I'm trying to bully a teacher it's really alarming I got bullied for being gay and for having Tourette in the facial ticks that I do. What were you bullied for? I think probably for being gay, although I didn't even know at the time or understand. Like I didn't even, I mean I knew that gay people existed but for me they were adults and they were much more advanced in life. Like when I was young I just, I never really got it. I knew that I was really attached to girls. Like my friendships were not normal. Like my friendships were like, so dramatic and like anything that would happen with like my little girlfriends I would just like scream and cry and then my best friend Jerry who was in the class with me with with Mr Jackson who adored him as well she and I had 40 year relationship that was not romantic but it was also not platonic so it was much more like an emotional relationship that sort of made me feel very alone in the world, you know, when you grew up with somebody that you feel is like you're a person and then they're gone. So the audience has heard now that Mr Jackson has passed away and we should say this is going to take some pretty wild turns as we go along but Mr Jackson was murdered. Yes. By a young man that he took in who was homeless on the street. You thought that maybe his killer had died himself, right? You weren't aware that the killer is still alive. So it turns out, based on our research, the killer is still alive and actually is on death row. The killer who was a teenager living on the street, taken in by Mr Jackson, who fed him, gave him a bed, safe place to stay. The killer alleged, alleged that Mr Jackson had gone on to groom him and to sexually abuse. him. And so the killer later told police that he picked up a dumbbell and killed Mr Jackson one night. Shortly thereafter within 24 hours, the killer was involved in another crime on the street with another man, and for that crime he was caught. After being brought in, he confessed to killing Mr Jackson. And several years later actually killed another man in prison. And today, the killer, who's name, I don't know. need to use, but today that killer is actually on death row. Your reaction hearing that. It's so painful