Inner Excellence: Train Your Mind for the Best Possible Life with Oprah and Jim Murphy

The Oprah Podcast

Oprah Winfrey sits down with performance coach and author Jim Murphy, whose book 'Inner Excellence' went viral after NFL player A.J. Brown w

Key takeaways

• True fulfillment comes not from external achievements but from internal alignment with purpose and joy.
• Joy is defined as a deep sense of well-being rooted in sacrificial love, distinct from temporary happiness.

Main topics

• Inner Excellence and mental mastery
• Joy vs. happiness in personal fulfillment

Notable quotes

"I don't have much today. Recognize I don't have much today, and it's okay. I'm going to give the best of what I have."

Conclusion

Jim Murphy's journey from personal loss to global impact underscores t

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:00) This episode of the Oprah podcast is presented by our partner, GEICO. Speaker 5 (0:05) In a short span of just like 20 days, I heard this book, Inner Excellence, sold 200,000 copies and shot to number one on the New York Times bestseller list. Speaker 3 (0:18) I feel like the reason Inner Excellence is helpful for anybody is that I realized that we all have this. This deep need for unconditional love and a fear of not getting that love. That's right. We all want to have a life where we're learning and growing and feeling fully alive. Speaker 2 (0:32) The year that I made $1.5 million, I had to get an emergency hysterectomy. And my commission check hit my bank account the day I was lying in my hospital bed. And that was such a super crazy surreal moment when I just realized this. This isn't it. One of the Speaker 5 (0:54) reasons why inner excellence has been such a powerful tool for so many people is it's the first time they've tapped into there is more. Speaker 5 (1:07) Hi there. Welcome to the Oprah Podcast. I certainly appreciate you joining me here. And I wanted to ask you all a question. If you would just think for a moment and try to imagine this for yourself. A life where you feel completely free to make decisions that continue to... enhance your every experience. You feel free from self-doubt. You are not held back by fear. A life where you feel effortlessly connected to your true self, living as the person you believe yourself to be created to be. Imagine that. Well, my guest, Jim Murphy, is the author of the book that went viral last fall. It's called Inner F***ing excellence. And he believes that that life is possible for you, for me, for everybody. So let me explain first who Jim Murphy Speaker 4 (2:07) is in case you haven't heard of Jim. Hi, Jim. Speaker 5 (2:10) Hi, Oprah. When an eye condition ended Jim Murphy's lifelong dream of playing professional baseball, he moved to the desert to write and research inner excellence. He spent five years studying the science of peak performance, interviewing sports psychologists and elite coaches. And when the book came out in 2009, it barely sold. Jim reworked his book and self-published a new edition in 2020. That version didn't sell either. One fateful moment changed everything. During an NFL playoff game with nearly 40 million viewers watching live, Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver A.J. Brown was seen reading Jim's book on the sidelines. In an instant, inner excellence took off. going from, listen to this, ranking 523,497 on Speaker 4 (2:57) Amazon, all the way to number one. Speaker 5 (3:00) And then Heisman Trophy winner, NFL number one draft pick, Fernando Mendoza, read the book, right? And in a short span of just like 20 days, I heard, this book, in her excellence, sold 200,000 copies and shot to number one on the New York Times bestseller list. So how did you process that velocity? Speaker 3 (3:24) Yeah, Oprah, it was very intense. And that week was actually a very intense week because my mother was dying. Yeah, January 12th was the wildcard game. And then she died January 16th, so four days later. It was an answer to prayer because she was suffering. But so that week, very somber and kind of lonely. Business was slow. I hadn't paid off my credit cards for the first time in years. I just didn't have the cash flow to pay off the credit cards. Speaker 3 (3:50) And then Sunday night, I get all these texts, and I thought my mom had died. And so it said, you know, you got to turn on the game. And that week, everything was going crazy with all the interviews and everything. And it was 3 a.m., and my heart was racing in the middle of the night, and I was like, what is happening? And then I just felt like it was just so much coming at me. And then in the morning, it was just this huge relief because I felt God saying, Jim. You're not the one that did this. You're not the one doing it. You can relax. Your purpose stays the same. Just continue to do what you're doing. And that was such a huge relief because I was like, I don't know how to do this. What am I supposed to do? So Speaker 5 (4:28) was that Speaker 3 (4:29) a Speaker 5 (4:30) voice Speaker 3 (4:30) or Speaker 5 (4:31) a Speaker 3 (4:31) feeling or what? You know, I think the number one thing that, and you know, you're a very spiritual person. And I think it's to realize that there's a power greater than you, no matter what you believe. There's Speaker 5 (4:43) something Speaker 3 (4:44) causing the sun to rise every morning. Yes, and connecting with that power is the most important thing that you could ever do. And so for me to connect with God and to feel like we have a relationship where I can hear his voice is so important to me. And so, but it's not always a voice. It's like... An inner knowing. I felt like God's saying, like in my mind, it was like God saying, Jim, you don't have to worry about all that. Speaker 5 (5:10) So I want to talk about your path to inner excellence. So tell us about the moment you decided to give away all of your possessions and move to the desert. Speaker 3 (5:18) Yeah, I was, I'd always, since I was little, I always dreamed that I was going to be a superstar. And what I thought that meant was to be the guy that every guy wanted to be and every girl wanted to be with and Speaker 2 (5:30) hitting home runs and the superstar. Speaker 3 (5:32) So. When my career ended, it was such a devastating thing, and I was so lost. And so I went back to being a personal trainer like I was in grad school. But I always had this sense that I wanted to make a bigger difference than just the physical. And then I get a call from a teammate in pro baseball in Tucson, Arizona, Ricky Scruggs. He's building a baseball academy. He said, can you come down for the first weekend to launch it? And it was just the perfect timing. I had this screensaver that said, those destined for greatness must first walk alone in the desert. And I just thought, you know what? Speaker 3 (6:07) I need a fresh start. And I think part of it was leaving behind everyone that would say, Jim, why would you change anything? Your life is great. And I didn't want to be thought of as my past. I wanted to make sure I come to a blank slate. If anything is possible, what could I do? Because I wanted to make sure that when it came time for me to die, that I had fully lived. Speaker 5 (6:28) And so when you've always had your identity as one thing, And you can no longer have that identity any longer because of an illness or medical condition or you lose your job or whatever. What is the first road back to finding your true self versus your role or your identity? Speaker 3 (6:49) Yeah, so when I start with anybody, it could be working with you, a pro athlete or anyone, the first thing I want to know is how you want to feel in your life. Because when you're at your best, when you're having a great day, when you're performing your best, you feel a certain way. Okay, so Speaker 5 (7:04) this is interesting because all those years I was doing the Oprah show, I would sit and talk to the audience afterwards. And this led me to asking people, okay, so what do you really want? And people would always just say, I just want to be happy. But a lot of people could not identify. what that was. And I say, well, what does that mean? And they say, well, I want my kids to be happy. And I, you know, I want to have a happy family, but what does that mean? So when you identify happiness for yourself, how do you tell people to do that? What, how do you want to feel? What does that mean? Speaker 3 (7:37) Everyone wants to be happy, but happy is far too limiting. So first of all, I think we really need to identify terms here. So I define happiness as a positive temporary feeling based on what's happening. You get good circumstances, you're happy. Bad circumstances, things you don't like, you're Speaker 1 (7:55) not happy. Speaker 4 (7:55) And Speaker 3 (7:56) so it's far too unstable. And in a way, people come to me very often when they're underperforming and I help them perform better. And so in a way, it's like they want better transactions. They want better results. And so it's kind of like... I just want to be happy, Jim. I want better circumstances and results. Can you make me happy? And what I do is I teach them how to have joy. Yeah. And I define joy as a deep sense of well-being, freedom, and gratitude. It's an inner buoyancy and delight that comes from sacrificial love. Speaker 5 (8:29) It's Speaker 3 (8:30) a very different pursuit. Speaker 5 (8:32) Was there a moment in your life when you realized that success on the outside did not necessarily equal peace on the inside. Speaker 3 (8:42) Yeah, I think in the desert, realizing that I'd always had this dream of being a superstar and that what I've always really wanted is to feel fully alive. Because I would ask my clients, like, what is it, like, as a pro baseball player, what is it, like, why do you play? And then I started to ask everyone that, like, why do you do what you do? And then... I realized that I wanted to feel fully alive. And the problem that most of us run into is we have a single story for our life, like I did. My single story was I have to be a pro baseball player that becomes a superstar. And if that doesn't happen, then I'm a total failure. And that was an illusion. When you realize that you want to feel fully alive and that you have your idea of how that's going to happen, but it may not be anything like that. That may not be the path. Super important to understand. Speaker 5 (9:29) Okay. So what are the other, I think that's just such a, that is so, articulates so beautifully what I think most people are looking for. I always say everybody wants to be able to live to the truest, highest expression of themselves as human beings. That's what we're all looking for. The path that you take to get there is up to you. But what, that's the reason why I can relate to anybody in the world because I know no matter who you are. where you come from, what your station or place in life is, you want the same thing I want. Exactly. Yes, yes. I Speaker 3 (10:04) feel the same way. I feel like the reason inter-excellence is helpful for anybody is that I realize that it's about optimizing the human. We're all human. We all have this deep need for unconditional love and a fear of not getting that love. That's right. We all want to have a life with amazing experiences and deep enriching relationships where we're learning and growing and feeling fully alive. Speaker 5 (10:26) Do you think that is still true now, even with, I just was reading the other day that 86 % of 16 to 38 year olds want to be influencers, that this drive for fame and this notion that fame will bring you the ultimate success and that everything is aligned with how famous you are, how many clicks you get, how many people know you, how many likes you get. Do you think that that's still true that people have the... deeper yearning just to be alive? Or has that changed? Fully Speaker 3 (10:57) alive, to feel fully alive. Yeah, it doesn't matter what that person thinks that they want to do. Like, I want to be an influencer. I want to be rich and famous, whatever it is. It's because they want to feel a certain way. They're looking for the best possible life. And they're like, okay, influencer is the way I'm going to do it. I'm going to be like Oprah. I'm going to be rich and famous, whatever it is. They see that. But in the end, Everyone wants that same thing, to feel fully alive and have that deep contentment. Speaker 5 (11:24) And then that's why so many people, for when they were seeking the wrong thing, if you're seeking to be an influencer, you're seeking just to be famous, you realize how empty the acquiring of those things are without a deeper reason. And the great thing Speaker 3 (11:41) is that when you develop yourself and you learn to say, walk in love and not fear and master your ego, we'll talk about these things. then you become better at anything that you do. And then so maybe you're working on being an influencer, but then maybe you switch to something completely different, but it doesn't matter because you've been developing yourself. Speaker 5 (11:59) Our listeners tell us that the podcast is resonating with you and is serving as a bright spot in your day. That means a lot to me. So here's the thing. I would really appreciate it if you like and subscribe to the Oprah podcast on YouTube or wherever you podcast. It's just a quick tap of the subscribe button, and that way you won't miss an episode in your queue. You don't have to pay anything. I know subscribe usually means you're paying something, but this time it means you just are notified when there's something new. There are many more to come that we're excited about, so thank you for watching and listening. Those of you who watch the Oprah podcast or listen to us, you know every story we share, every guest we welcome is chosen with purpose. And when people share their stories, we're reminded that we're not alone in this journey called life. As the official insurance partner of the podcast, the folks at GEICO understand that the way we move through life and who we move through it with matters. And I know that life starts to move even faster as a new school year begins. Fall routines get underway. The calendar fills up. Whether you're waiting in the school pickup line, loading up the car for a weekend getaway, taking a quiet drive home after a hard day, or cheering on your son or daughter from the sidelines, these moments remind us the road is not always a straight line. GEICO is there with insurance design to help keep you covered along the way. Because Speaker 4 (13:27) life happens, and Speaker 5 (13:29) with the right support, we Speaker 4 (13:30) all just keep driving forward. And Speaker 5 (13:32) that, dear listener, is everything. Speaker 5 (13:38) So inner excellence is about training your mind for extraordinary performance and the best possible life. That's why so many athletes love this book