C*v1d 15
The Kandahar Boys
The hosts return to the podcast after an eight-month hiatus, providing updates on their lives working in retail and food service. They trans
Key takeaways
- The hosts discuss the evolution of internet slang, noting how 'glowy' has largely replaced 'spook'.
- They reflect on reaching 1,000 followers on Twitter and the engagement power of interacting with Felix Biederman.
Main topics
- Twitter engagement and micro-celebrity
- Internet slang and memes
Notable quotes
I'm a working class intellectual now, dude.
Conclusion
A chaotic, stream-of-consciousness exploration of internet subcultures
Transcript preview
Speaker 1 (0:00) hey what's up guys we're back uh we got colon and i have autoimmune disease now i have Speaker 2 (0:09) adult onset sids which is really like really really bad for coronavirus um i cannot sleep in my crib anymore Speaker 1 (0:18) Yeah, I actually got it, and then I was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome because of the COVID. And it's like, they said that, like, that could have also been triggered by, like, the vaccine. So, like, it's good that I didn't do this. My doctor said Speaker 2 (0:33) so. I am sick of these godless morons making fun of me. I use NASA technology for this podcast, and I am tired of being disrespected. I can't do vocal for ID. Yeah. Speaker 1 (0:46) He said, you apologize to me? I said, I apologize for that. Not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I Speaker 2 (0:52) said. He said, okay, close the straight razor. My heart began to beat again. All Speaker 1 (1:03) right, well. What's up, guys? Long time, no talk, but we're back. We're back. Speaker 2 (1:07) How long has it been since our last episode? I think it was Speaker 1 (1:09) the Suez Canal. Yeah, it Speaker 2 (1:11) was like the Suez Canal was the last time we recorded. Dude, we haven't done this in so long. I'm looking this up on Spotify right now and seeing how long it's been since we did it. Speaker 1 (1:20) We had a pretty steep drop-off, but we know that the loyal fans will still be there. Yeah, we're expecting Speaker 2 (1:25) all 15 of our listeners back. Oh, March. We're in, like, March of this year. That's actually not as long as I was expecting. Speaker 2 (1:34) Yeah, Speaker 1 (1:35) because of podcasting. Speaker 2 (1:37) Because of podcasting. Speaker 1 (1:38) Podcaster beef. Speaker 2 (1:39) Podcast beef, yeah. Speaker 1 (1:41) Getting to 1K. Speaker 2 (1:43) Yeah, getting to 1K. I'm a big account now. It's pretty cool, dude. It's hard being on top of Twitter.com. I'm a micro-celebrity now. Yeah. Speaker 1 (1:53) Easily, he gets double digits every time. Speaker 2 (1:57) Easily, yeah. Look, ever since I've got 1K, it hasn't happened once where I tweet about some dumb bullshit that I'm really into and it gets like three likes. That's never happened if Speaker 1 (2:07) you Speaker 2 (2:07) post 1K. Speaker 1 (2:08) No, we're going big now. Speaker 2 (2:10) In all seriousness, me after 1K, like every time I post something, like a couple people follow me. I get like scared, honestly. Speaker 1 (2:20) Yeah, well, what you got to do, I found, this is a little dating tip for folks. Myself, I'm taken, but... For the single fellas, you got to make witty responses to Felix Biederman. You get so many follows and a lot of love if you say something smart. It's Speaker 2 (2:37) amazing, like, that I wish I had the power that he does where, like, every time. I would rather have this than his, like, millions from podcasting two days a week. The power to just, like, if people reply to you enough, they just go insane. Speaker 1 (2:50) Yeah. Like, Speaker 2 (2:51) whether you ignore them or not, it's amazing. every like couple of weeks like a guy like melts down like that falconry and finance guy Did you see that guy? No, Speaker 1 (3:00) what happened with him? Speaker 2 (3:01) He was like some guy who like did some like really convoluted bit about having like a sham finance operation out of the UAE. And all he did was just like reply to Felix all the time. And like Felix would like his stuff and like reply back to it and everything. But like one day he just had like the full like meltdown and was like Chopper Trap House is a fascist podcast. Speaker 2 (3:24) As a real leftist, I can no longer endorse them using problematic terms like spook. Speaker 1 (3:30) Yeah, I was wondering how spook was going to last. Because, you know, I always saw that and I was like, that one can't be long for this. Yeah, well, that one Speaker 2 (3:39) got replaced. I think it was, like, less of, like, because nobody really, like, it hasn't been, like, a really racist term since, like, the 1950s, honestly. You see it and you think, like, calling somebody CIA way before, like. like a racist thing to say yeah Speaker 1 (3:54) but Speaker 2 (3:55) uh but like it kind of organically got replaced with glowy a couple years ago i feel like yeah Speaker 1 (4:01) no i like i like the little the glowy's funny um you know the memes where the it's the girl and then she's telling you to do something bad but it's actually an fbi agent yeah yeah Speaker 2 (4:13) those are good memes dude yeah Speaker 1 (4:14) um Speaker 2 (4:16) What if the FBI agent is also a hot woman? That's like what the question that's never asked when this type of situation comes up. Speaker 1 (4:23) Yeah, they always, you know, it's kind of a man and it's like, well, that's bad. But what if it was a girl and she was hot? Yeah, what Speaker 2 (4:29) if it was a girl and she was hot? Yeah, dude, I've been re-watching The Wire from season two. It's like very funny how much better looking all the FBI agents are than like the dipshit Baltimore cops. Speaker 1 (4:41) Yeah. Well, they get to, you know, they don't have to live in Baltimore. Speaker 2 (4:45) That's true, dude. They don't gotta, they don't gotta live around, I don't even know what's in fucking Baltimore. Like, drugs, fast food, uh... venereal diseases. Oh, Speaker 1 (4:56) VD, of course. Speaker 2 (4:58) VD. So we're back. What have we been doing for the last eight months? Speaker 1 (5:04) I Speaker 2 (5:05) think I've had like two jobs since the last time we recorded an episode. But... Speaker 2 (5:17) I'm a working class intellectual now, dude. I work retail and I'm smart. Speaker 1 (5:22) Yeah, and I'm Speaker 2 (5:22) a Speaker 1 (5:22) line cook now, so we're pretty much, we know what's going on. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:27) we've got our fingers on the pulse of the American working class. Speaker 1 (5:31) Yeah, and they actually said that they don't want unions. I heard that. And no more monies. A couple things they mentioned. Speaker 2 (5:40) Yeah, they talk about that all the time. They just say, like, look, let me make problematic jokes. No, what they care about is they want Shane Gillis back on that song. Speaker 1 (5:48) Yeah, they're always saying, I want Shane Gillis back. Like, every Speaker 2 (5:50) day, you know, you see a hard-working mother at five, and she goes, God damn, if they didn't cancel Shane Gillis, my life would be so much better. I mean, every Speaker 1 (5:59) day. I mean, I think the same thing now as a member of the proletariat. Speaker 2 (6:06) I love it. There's, like... Speaker 2 (6:09) There's like one guy I work with who's like a very normal guy and just like loves Joe Rogan. Speaker 2 (6:19) So it's like fun to like, you know, see like stuff normal people are like. Well, it's like just everybody's politics is like a combination of like random shit. Because he like loves JRE, but he's also like very like pro-vax. Like his wife didn't want their kids to get the vaccine. So he just fucking like took the kids and got them the shot and didn't tell her. Speaker 2 (6:40) Which, beast mode, honestly. Speaker 1 (6:42) Yeah. You know, we were thinking, you know, that plane crashed into those railroad tracks and the cops pulled the guy out. What if, you know, them being L.A. cops and all, it was a Rodney King type situation where they got him for speeding and reckless driving? Because I could see that happening in L.A. Those cops are very excitable. Speaker 2 (7:05) They're excitable young men. I actually don't know what you're talking about. I don't follow coastal elite bullshit like this, so I don't know what's fucking happening in LA. Well, it Speaker 1 (7:13) was basically like LA's 9-11. So the plane wasn't Speaker 2 (7:18) there. Yeah, it was Speaker 1 (7:19) all faked. It Speaker 2 (7:22) is kind of funny. Now that I've been, like, talking to more, like, normal people lately, it is, like, kind of funny, like, how many, like, right-thinking people just, like, shut down from, like, if you say anything about 9-11. Like, my manager at work the other day, he was, like, telling me, like, because I, like, I play up, like, very normal at work for the most part. And he was, like, he was telling me, he was, like, yo, you ever heard that, like, the CIA, like, put crack in the poor black communities in, like, the 80s. That's fucking crazy, man. I was like, oh, yeah, dude, that's, like, that's, like, day one. Now, the real question is, you ever wonder, like, why the fucking 9-11 hijackers' passports were found in the rubble, like, four hours later, completely undamaged, and he just, like, completely shut down. It's like, Speaker 1 (8:03) look, Speaker 2 (8:04) I'm just asking questions. Speaker 1 (8:06) Yeah, sir, I'm asking you a question, sir. I've always, you know, it would be great. to be i don't see this very much of my work uh and you probably don't either now because there's where we are no mask mandates but i recently went to california and they make you show your your vaccine card and wear a mask before you sit down to eat Speaker 2 (8:28) really just like go to the restaurant yeah you have Speaker 1 (8:31) to show your vax card and your id um so i was thinking of a couple of funny things is refusing to show either one of those and just being a nuisance is like a terrible thing to do and i don't like it wouldn't be good to do but it would be very funny it would be very fun excuse me sir uh have you heard of hippo no Speaker 2 (8:49) the uh the real like woke take there is being like uh like a pro vaccine but like really like anti-driver's license like sovereign citizen type yeah uh Speaker 1 (8:58) excuse me sir i did i did show him the vaccine Speaker 2 (9:01) card excuse me Sir, are you saying I need a driver's license from this state, which I do not recognize, to eat at this restaurant? Speaker 1 (9:09) Like, Speaker 2 (9:10) not making the vaccine. I'm sorry. I Speaker 1 (9:12) didn't drive here. I traveled here. Thank you very much. I'm Speaker 2 (9:15) having my celebratory lunch after being the first person to get the fourth booster. I will not be showing you my driver's license. Good sir. I Speaker 1 (9:22) have this piece of paper with a crayon on it that says, I am who I say I am. As a free American citizen, thank you very much. This also serves as my insurance and legal liability for driving officer. I do have a loaded gun pointed at your head right now. As you read this, you can distract yourself. You, my friend, have just earned Speaker 2 (9:40) yourself a half-star review on Yelp. Speaker 1 (9:43) The card is kind of like from Jackass, where they have the writing on the wall, where it says, like, we're like a bunch of hot girls. We love Jackass. If Speaker 2 (9:53) you Speaker 1 (9:53) want to see it, please come to our room. room two, and they keep getting closer because the text keeps getting smaller, and then just a fist pop out, but instead it's me drawing a desert eagle, and it's behind the paper, and then I'm like, alright, and I'll be having my chicken to go, I believe. You're calling the police. And then just sort of repeating that all the way to the loony bin. I think you could claim insanity pretty quick there. Speaker 2 (10:21) Sir, I do not... recognize this, sir. What next? I have to get a permit for my firearms? Speaker 1 (10:29) Oh, what next? I need to pay taxes on my car? Speaker 2 (10:35) Uh, yeah, dude. Um... Yeah, I don't pay taxes. Speaker 1 (10:40) Yeah, I try. I try my best, but it's pretty complicated. Speaker 2 (10:44) Taxes are hard, dude. If they've got to take it, they should just fucking take it. I don't know why. They already take it out of my paycheck. Why do you have to pay extra at the end of the year? Speaker 1 (10:57) Well, sometimes you can get less if you set it up right. But that's hard and doesn't seem quite right. Folks, We're looking, we've got here a new puppy named Dasha. This is named after the famous podcasting host. And actress. Speaker 2 (11:20) And Speaker 1 (11:20) producer. Speaker 2 (11:21) And director. Speaker 1 (11:25) And Cheater. Speaker 2 (11:27) Cheater, yeah. It is pretty funny, dude. It is pretty funny that all the internet figures have COVIDs. Brandon Wardell. Does Brandon Wardell have it? I didn't know. Speaker 1 (11:40) Yeah, he got it. He said, what did he say? He was like, it's time for new year, new me. Hashtag COVID positive. Speaker 2 (11:50) No, I was talking about like mind of Jason is like about to die from it. Speaker 1 (11:54) Oh Have you Speaker 2 (11:55) seen that? No, he's been posting like he's first always been posting like all this fucked up food stuff like as usual for like weeks and Man, he's letting but that'll be like, you know I've had kovat for like three weeks and my chest is just burning non-stop like good night fuck faces Speaker 1 (12:15) It's because he ate a quadruple-decker hot sauce deluxe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't know, man. My heart really hurts. No, he eats Speaker 2 (12:25) fucking stir-fried lizard with gobs of mayo on it. It's so Speaker 1 (12:29) fucking gross. Speaker 2 (12:32) Yeah, I don't know. I think he should be president, first of all. He should unseat AOC. He should be the face of the anti-woke left. I think he lives in our district. Speaker 2 (12:46) But, yeah, and then, like, Anna and Cash ain't getting COVID was really, really, really funny. Like, people got, like, way too mad about it on Twitter, like, all day. Like, as it always does with those people, because they, like, thrive off, like, everybody's like, yeah, they thrive off, like, the, like, quote tweet engagement that they get. And it's like, but I, like, my opinion is, like, yeah, that's fine. I want to give them that engagement. Because I think the shit that, like, her and, like, Amy Therese and those people do is Speaker 1 (13:15) fucking Speaker 2 (13:16) funny. Yeah. Speaker 1 (13:17) And we need more of it. And so you can't ignore them. Speaker 2 (13:22) You don't want to starve them out of engagements. Like, it's funny. Speaker 2 (13:27) Yeah, also it is, like, very funny for, like, Anna to be, like, hiding behind, like, an autoimmune disease. Because, like, I don't really listen Speaker 1 (13:33) to her. No, no, no, no, that she got because of COVID. She now has an autoimmune disease. Oh, Speaker 2 (13:38) okay. Which is even Speaker 1 (13:39) funnier. And then she's like, well, the reason I didn't get the vax is because I was afraid that I would get the Stills disease. Like, she was like, and see, this justifies it because my doctor said that it's possible that I could have gotten it. Speaker 2 (13:50) No fucking way, dude. If I took the vaccine. No fucking way. Dude, just take it, you know, I Speaker 1 (13:55) don't know. Just take the vaccine, man. Just take the vaccine. Speaker 2 (13:58) Just take the shot, Jack. Come on, man. Speaker 1 (14:00) Trump's telling you to do it. Biden's telling you to do it. AOC's telling you to do it. Dude, the Trump Speaker 2 (14:04) rally where he was saying to get the shot was so funny. He was just getting nothing from the crowd, and he's like, There shouldn't be a mandate. Nobody's making you do it, but the shot's beautiful. The shot's beautiful and amazing, and we should take it. Dude, this fucking cat right here, man. Yeah, oh, I Speaker 1 (14:24) got a cat in the time since we posted. He's a pretty cool guy. I'm training him to be a search and attack type of cat, but turns out you need a dog to do that. Doesn't even see infrared lasers. That was kind of a... an L in my book, but my girlfriend... Speaker 2 (14:46) I know, yeah, Speaker 1 (14:48) well, I was like, oh, this is perfect. He'll be kind of like my duo buddy, you know, when we're... When Biden raises taxes or raises the, when Biden hits the increased gasoline price. Yeah, Speaker 2 (15:02) he's going to hit the gas price up. Where do Speaker 1 (15:04) we Speaker 2 (15:04) get those stickers? Have you seen those pictures that people have been posting online of like, there's like the pump and the gas is like way too much. And it's like. Right, and it's just a little sticker of Biden next to it that says, I did that. Yeah. I want, like, a pack of those. We should be able to get them for free, like, the time you got all that TV USA stuff. Oh, I did. That was great. Speaker 1 (15:26) Yeah, it doesn't even make any sense, though. Like, you know, whatever. The president has, like, no real effect over, like, anything in our day. Like, there's a lot of stuff. But not gasoline is not really, like, the president's job. Yeah, the president can't Speaker 2 (15:41) do that. Speaker 1 (15:41) He's not like, ah, man, I gotta press the gasoline increase button. The only way you could justify that is if it's like... Well, I think he has to keep pressing the gas Speaker 2 (15:49) go down button. It's like one of those cookie clicker games where... Speaker 1 (15:53) No, but they've played it long enough where they have the automations in now. Speaker 2 (15:58) Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Speaker 1 (16:00) they've got the grandmas pushing the button now. Speaker 2 (16:03) Which is Speaker 1 (16:03) why it's very important we get the facts because if we don't get the facts, all the grandmas die. See, they're not going to be able to push the button anymore. Oh. And then gas prices will go up. So it Speaker 2 (16:12) all fucking comes back. It all circles back. It all comes back. Speaker 2 (16:19) But, yeah, dude, that, no, oh, RIP Bob Saget, by the way, the source of, like, just the first thing I ever, like, lost my mind at, which was Tourette's guy videos in, like, fourth grade. You remember that shit? Yeah, dude, those were pretty good. Oh, Bob Saget. Yep, yep, yep, yeah. I remember, like, in, like,