Charlie Munger Mailed This Author One Share And It Became $735,000

The Home Service Expert Podcast

Dr. Robert Cialdini, the 'godfather of psychology,' joins the podcast to discuss the practical application of his principles of influence. T

Key takeaways

• Adding 'will you please' to reservation calls can reduce restaurant no-shows by 62% through the power of commitment.
• The seventh principle, 'Unity,' uses the word 'we' to shift a customer's mindset from conflict to collaboration.

Main topics

• Principles of Influence
• Ethical Persuasion

Notable quotes

Show your customer that you like them.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a masterclass in using psychological triggers to

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) I've been in a lot of sales training programs and they say the number one rule of sales is get your customer to like you. That works, but it's not the number one rule. Here's the number one rule. Show your customer that you like them. If you have a welcoming statement on the landing page of your website, you get significantly more conversions. Speaker 1 (0:25) Again, before they've ever read a word of your offer. All right, guys, check this out. I'm sitting down with the one and only Robert Cialdini. who if you guys don't know who he is, he's the godfather of psychology, in my opinion. ASU professor, still hangs out on campus a lot. Influence, getting to yes. Just some of the best influence books, ethical influence. And I'll tell you guys, listen, I've got an opportunity. He came in and trained us today. One, I've been to a lot of his seminars. If you want to catch him, there's only 75 seats. It's December 5th and 6th. It's called Influence Unleashed. And it's going to be in Tempe at the Mr. Joe Polish, one of the best networkers of all time. And if you want to save some money, there's $500 off any ticket. It's just A1 Garage, capital letters. I'm not making any money. I'm not an affiliate here. I just support this guy and his wife, Bobette, that's sitting back there. What do you want to tell us real quick, Robert? What can they expect from this event? Speaker 2 (1:34) I don't know if any of your listeners, viewers are sports fans, but I've never tired of seeing after a loss coaches or players saying we had this great game plan and everybody understood it, but we didn't execute it. This event is about executing the... Practice of influence. It's not about just understanding those principles and practices and techniques that move people toward yes. It's about moving to their implementation and focusing on that, that link. And we're going to spend a couple of days drilling down on how you do it, not just what the principles are, but how, how you make them work for you. Speaker 1 (2:29) I love it. Listen, guys, I can teach you how to get a six pack. Doesn't mean you're going to do it. I always talk about this December 5th and 6th in Tempe, Arizona. This is a do not want to miss limited seats, 75 seats. Use A1 Garage Capital Letters. Save some money. Be at the event. We'll see you there. Speaker 1 (2:48) Yeah, you'll sell out of that. Speaker 2 (2:50) We Speaker 1 (2:51) want, I Speaker 2 (2:53) mean, we usually do 200 seats. Oh, yeah. But because we want to do this intensive. Speaker 2 (3:00) and interactive implementation strategies. That's so good. That we're going to make it, you know, a lot more intimate. Speaker 1 (3:08) No, no, it's killer. I think a lot of people understand the techniques. They just don't know how to do them. Speaker 2 (3:11) That's right. Speaker 1 (3:13) You want to get the ball rolling here? Speaker 2 (3:15) Sure. Speaker 1 (3:16) I'm excited. This is always fun. All right, guys, welcome back to the Mellow Millionaire podcast. Today's an amazing day because I got the one and only Robert Cedini and his wife, Bobette, in the studio. Our guest today is one of the most influential psychologists of our time, Dr. Robert Cedini, the best-selling author of Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, a book that sold over 5 million copies, been translated into 40 languages, and remains one of the most cited works in psychology and marketing. Today's research continues to shape how leaders, marketers, and everyday people understand the science and the ethics of influence. Robert, we had you on the – you go by Bob sometimes. I don't know what to call you, but Bob. Yeah. We've had you on Home Service Expert. I've read your books. I've gone to your seminars. And I just – every time I get pages of notes. But you're right. You know, it's hard to implement everything. It's hard to kind of ruthlessly prioritize what's the best lowest hanging fruit to implement. And they've got all kinds of strategies, but. Speaker 1 (4:17) Why don't we just talk a little bit about where you're at today? You know, I know you taught at ASU. What got you so obsessed in the influence game? And what are you excited about? Speaker 2 (4:28) I think that I'm excited about taking this to a broader audience than we have done before. Making sure that the people... who have paid for my research, after all, with your taxes, with your donations to my universities and so, you've paid for that research. You're entitled to know what I found out about persuasion with your money, right? So, I want to get programs available to people to understand the practices and procedures that make people most likely to say yes to us. and that you can – how you can do it in an efficient and ethical way. Speaker 1 (5:16) Yeah, the beginning of the book is just don't use these practices for unethicals because it could easily go the opposite way. We've seen that. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:24) we've got dynamite. And you can use dynamite to blow up a bridge. You can use dynamite to help build a bridge. We're going to be on the building side. Speaker 1 (5:34) I love it. Let's go through. I mean, listen, there's several core principles. Speaker 1 (5:43) Let's just start out with what is ethical influence. Let's start there. Speaker 2 (5:47) Ethical influence is the ability to move people in your direction by informing them into yes, by educating them into assent so that they know the value proposition that you offer them that is worthwhile to them, but you just haven't known how to properly phrase it. or deliver it. It's about the presentation of your case, not the core merits of your case. I can't change that. I can change the way you deliver the merits of your case that makes people psychologically more attracted to it. Speaker 1 (6:31) It's so much fun because there's a great book by Daniel Pink called The Sellous Human. And selling is just normal. Like when you meet your your fiance for the first time or your wife or your husband or you're getting your kids to make their bed, it's like we've got to have persuasion. And it's not a bad thing. It's like getting your kids to do chores is not a bad thing. But if we phrase it in the right way, and I've learned so much from you, these little things like, I don't even want to go into it right now, but you talk about reciprocity, commitment, consistency, social proof, authority, liking, and scarcity. Speaker 1 (7:10) Let's just talk a little bit like a rough overview of each of those. Speaker 2 (7:16) Yeah, let's talk. It turns out that we've added one. Yeah, Speaker 1 (7:19) I remember. Called Speaker 2 (7:20) unity. Yeah, Speaker 1 (7:21) unity right here, the seventh principle. Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:23) And it's about saying yes to people because you feel a sense of togetherness or partnership with them. Not that you necessarily feel similar to them. You feel that you belong together. Let me give you an example from a study that was done because you were just talking about what do you say to somebody you meet for the first time who is a potential date or relationship partner or even an existing relationship partner. What do you say when the two of you have a difference of opinion and you just can't get past that issue? It turns out there's this study that was done in Texas. where they take people who were together in a relationship for more than two and a half years. And they give them each – they say, we're going to flip a coin. One of you, we're going to ask you to persuade the other to come into line with you with – Speaker 2 (8:24) You know, on a topic that you haven't been able to get resolution on together. Speaker 1 (8:32) It Speaker 2 (8:32) could be religion, politics, anything. It Speaker 1 (8:33) could be Speaker 2 (8:33) anything. All right? And then the researchers leave the room. And they are listening in and they're watching through one-way mirrors. And they look at what people say to get their partner to say yes to them. And they found three kinds of people. One. Use coercion. If you don't do this for me, you'll be sorry. Not only didn't that work, it moved people in the opposite direction. You can relate to that, right? Any boss who does that to you— Because they said so. The others were called the rational logical group. They said to their partner, if you'll just look at this situation, you'll see that— Speaker 2 (9:17) I have the most rational, logical position on this. That didn't produce polarization. It just produced laughter. Speaker 1 (9:28) Oh, yeah, sure. Speaker 2 (9:29) No change at all. And then there was a small group of people. Only 15%. The only ones who got change. Empathy? It was. Speaker 1 (9:59) Every person we put on stage has built and scaled a real business. You're learning from people who have had their own money and their own people on the line, and you walk out with stuff you can use Monday morning. This thing has sold out the last three years running. We turned people away at the door last year. In fact, there were a dozen that called me to try to get in. So don't be that guy scrambling for a seat in October. Freedom 2026 is October 26th through the 28th at Mandalay Bay. Go to freedomevent.com. Freedomevent.com. Grab your seat, or you can call us or text us. 602-581-7563. Now let's get back to this episode. Speaker 2 (10:32) The only ones who got change. Empathy. It was, it was to say, to use the term we. and say, you know, we've been together for two years. I'd really appreciate if you'd do this for us. You see what – it's not me versus you. It's us. It's we-ness and it's the only ones who changed. Speaker 1 (11:04) Simply Speaker 2 (11:04) using the term we. Speaker 2 (11:08) You change the mindset from conflict to collaboration. The only ones who got significant change just used the word we. Speaker 1 (11:22) I'm just trying to think about Bree and when I want to take her out to eat and she doesn't agree. Is we both like chicken? I'm going to learn this. There's probably a lot of techniques I could learn. And I'm not trying to manipulate. I'm just trying to figure. The problem is now I'm just like pick three and I'll choose one. But see, here's the brilliance of it. Isn't it true Speaker 2 (11:45) that you and Bree are a we? Oh, absolutely. We're a unit. And what the researchers in this study did was take people away from that. They said, focus on this difference between you. And the 15 % wouldn't have it. They said, nope, what we really are is a unit. I'm going to use the word we. I'm going to focus on the connection, on the togetherness of us. I'm going to bring that to top of consciousness, not the difference on this one topic. I'm going to say we. That's all. You just bring to top of consciousness we-ness instead of difference. I Speaker 1 (12:28) love it. Speaker 2 (12:29) Made the difference. Speaker 1 (12:30) I need to learn how to really implement these. I understand. So reciprocity, we do a very good job. Reciprocity is pretty simple. You know, you give somebody, you treat them with respect and like you come in to offer something if you want something in response. Commitment. Let's go over like an example of commitment. Speaker 2 (12:54) People say yes to those. To those requests that are consistent with what they have already said or done or valued. Yes. Speaker 2 (13:08) So here's an example from a restaurant. Restaurants have a problem with no-shows, people who book a table and then they don't appear. So there's this guy in Chicago, Gordon Sinclair, Gordon's restaurant. And he read my book and he made one change to what his receptionist says when she takes a booking. She used to say, Please call if you have to change or cancel your reservation. Right? Speaker 2 (13:44) He asked her to add two words and to say, will you please call if you have to change or cancel your reservation and then pause. Let them fill it with a commitment to do it. And no shows, unannounced no shows, dropped at Gordon's restaurant by 62 % that day and never went back up for two words because they engaged the power, the psychological power. of wanting to be consistent with a public commitment that you have made. Speaker 1 (14:20) I love that. You know, you've been with the guy Chris Voss. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think he's great. I was with him last week, and I know him really well. I actually met him through Joe. Speaker 2 (14:30) Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:31) And one of the things he said is instead of asking people, hey, do you got a minute to chat, Robert or Bob? Speaker 2 (14:36) Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:37) He says, have you given up? Have you given up on looking for a garage? Have you given up on? He always wants to get no out of people, to get rid of the no. Speaker 2 (14:48) Get rid of the no. Because Speaker 1 (14:49) people are really excited to say no. Speaker 2 (14:51) Then they're committed to saying, I haven't given up. So what's the next step? What's logically congruent with I haven't given up? Well, brilliant. I've got a friend who's a… a Boy Scout leader. He's got two kids in the Boy Scout. And he sells popcorn outside of supermarkets. And he sets up a desk and people come out and they sell him popcorn as they leave. And he said to me, we're having a terrible time. We're only getting about 15 % of the people who come out who want to buy