Luke Storey on loneliness, recovery, integrity, and writing A Horse Named Lonesome

The Grimerica Show

Luke Storey joins the Grimerica Show to discuss his new book, A Horse Named Lonesome, which explores themes of relational loneliness and exi

Key takeaways

• Luke Storey's book, A Horse Named Lonesome, uses memoir elements to teach lessons on overcoming isolation.
• Storey utilized coca leaf and Ambil (a South American tobacco paste) to maintain the intense focus required for long writing sessions.

Main topics

• Addiction Recovery
• The Writing Process

Notable quotes

A more connected world is a more peaceful world.

Conclusion

The episode offers profound insights into how personal accountability

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:54) If Maria supported the show, I'd be less sick of podcasts. Okay, guys, welcome back to the Grand America Show. We are going to be chatting with Luke Story this week on loneliness, recovery, and his book, A Horse Named Lonesome Good Chat. No Graham right now because he is out in the fields harvesting wheat, I guess, driving the combine around. I'm sure he'll have a great update for that, about that for us next week. So that'll be fun. He's in the fields. Working away, so we'll keep it short. We do hope you enjoy the chat with Luke. I will mention our Scab Lines trip with Randall Carlson next June. The final Scab Lines we're going to do is already, I think, 19 out of 40 spots gone. So that is approaching 50 % sold out with almost a year to go. You might want to head over. Make a deposit today. At least get that locked in. If you want to come with us, you don't have to pay up until next year. And Malta, Sicily, Sardinia, also heading down the same road. It's going to sell out sooner than later. So head over, get a deposit. And if that's a trip you want to come on with us, it's going to be a great time. Other than that, I am going to keep it short and sweet this week. We do want you to join the school, the coolest book club on the internet. That's schoolwithak.com slash audiobooks. Check out the other podcasts. Of course, grandamericaoutlaw.ca. We had a great COVID chat there about the lab leak with Jim Haslam last week. That was good. And of course, we do the weekly roundups over there as well. Check it out. Let us know what you think. Other than that, I will leave it there. Support the show, please. grandamerica.ca. Support Graham. We'll be back next week, assuming he survives his field work. And we'll be back to normal. Enjoy the chat with Luke Story. Speaker 3 (2:41) All right, Luke Story, welcome to Grimerica. Thanks for joining us. Speaker 2 (2:44) Hey, man. Thanks for having me. Good to see you guys. Speaker 3 (2:46) Yeah, this will be fun. I didn't realize you've been through such a journey. Some of it's similar to mine, addiction, recovery, personal transformation, all that kind of stuff. Biohacking, old school biohacker. Speaker 1 (2:57) Yes, sir. Got some books out. Speaker 3 (2:58) Yeah, I got some books out. Book coming up. Do you want to just mention your website and your upcoming book before we- Yeah, absolutely. Speaker 2 (3:05) My book is called A Horse Named Lonesome, and it's a book about- relational loneliness and existential separation. And so it's all about all of the things that prevent us from feeling connected to ourselves, to God, to one another, and how to remove the things that are blocking us from that experience. So that's really exciting. I've been working on that for the past two years, like a madman, literally, and such a relief that it's finally done. And the book is found at a horse named lonesome.com. And then my podcast is called The Life Stylist. I've been doing that for about 10 years, almost 700 episodes in. And all that stuff can be found at LukeStory.com. Speaker 4 (3:49) Okay, nice, nice. How'd you fall into that? How'd you end up writing this book? How did that come to be? Speaker 2 (3:56) You know, it's funny, man. I started my podcast in 2016 and started doing a lot of public speaking and things like that around alternative health, spirituality, meditation, and so on. And a lot of my peers were writing books. People were putting books out. And so I thought, well, everyone has a book. I guess I should have one too. And so, had really no idea what it was to be about and just could not get motivated to make any progress on it over the course of a couple years. And then during kind of a spiritual experience, I realized that the lack of motivation was because my motives were purely selfish. I thought it was just like a business card or a career move. And not that there's anything wrong with writing books for that purpose, but it wasn't enough to motivate me. And then I had you know, kind of a vision really of what it could be and that it held a potential to really help people. And once I, once I had the intentionality around it, then I just became unstoppable. I literally just became possessed with the idea of writing a book about connection. Because to me, I would say the root of a lot of human suffering is based on this illusion that everything exists in separation, including ourselves and from each other. And so, I thought if I'm going to tackle something that can be inclusive of addiction recovery and psychedelics, and I don't even really talk about biohacking in the book, but just, you know, alignment with nature and all these different principles that I've been sharing for all these years, if I could somehow squeeze that all into one book, I might be able to help people, you know, feel more connected and a more connected world is a more peaceful world and all of that. you know, that was kind of the impetus for it. But man, I, my friends asked me like, how's the book going? I always say one star do not recommend like writing a book yourself. If you don't know how to do it is, uh, is quite challenging, but you know, I put my head down and, and I feel really good about it now at this point. But you know, anyone that's written a book knows you write 10 books and you put out one, you know? So it's just like the sheer volume of hours and, uh, Blood, sweat, and tears is just astonishing. If I had known how difficult it would have been, I probably wouldn't have done it. I just keep on podcasting, speaking, traveling around. But it feels good to kind of at least have a tangible. I finally have a tangible copy in my hand after all that work, which feels really good after interviewing hundreds of amazing authors over the years myself. So it's fun to get out and share it now. Speaker 4 (6:29) Yeah, Speaker 3 (6:30) congratulations. Yeah. In Speaker 4 (6:31) a lot of ways, it seems like the only way left to, because it's funny, books have gone from being sort of the gatekeeper of knowledge. In a lot of ways, they still are. There's a lot of old books that are taken for granted and aren't read that have a lot of wisdom of the ancients in them that people don't do. But then for a long time, they were the source of wisdom and information. And now the world is so polluted with videos and documentaries and podcasts and everything else that it seems like the only way to like freeze something in time. Now it's like, you know, it's like to get some information together, put it in one place and sort of freeze it in time. Books still ironically seem to be the medium that's standing the test of time for like being maybe relevance because I've done a few books too. And it's, they, they still seem to like, pick up over time whereas all the podcasts and everything else just sort of you know how it is it's like and then it's like once it's like three years old it's like one in a hundred people that care to ever go back and and listen to it i mean that's Speaker 2 (7:35) a really good point yeah the nature of digital media is very transient whereas you you kind of have a real um permanent record when you put something out in a written format Along my journey, it's been almost 30 years I've been in recovery and just really diligently working on myself. Some of the books that I've read in my life just absolutely transformed my life. The ones that were really meaningful are ones that I read over and over and over again and just dissected with a magnifying glass. Just chewing into each word and its deeper layers of meaning and then the sentence and then the paragraph. And man, I mean, without those books, I don't think I would have been alive. I mean, take the primary text of Alcoholics Anonymous, for example. I mean, that book is responsible for saving literally millions of lives. And it's written by a guy who wasn't even a writer. It was written by a stockbroker, you know, like a drunk, like a Bowery drunk stockbroker. Speaker 3 (8:39) you know, writes Speaker 2 (8:40) this book or A Course in Miracles or, you know, any of these books that were kind of written with some sense of spontaneity and channeling some higher wisdom from the muse. I mean, I think those are the kind of books that have really impacted my life. And you're right, man, without those, you know, the future would be bleak. Speaker 3 (8:59) So do you get into your story a bit in the book? Speaker 2 (9:02) I do. Yeah. The premise of A Horse Named Lonesome is it uses a memoir format as a scaffolding. So I think of it as sort of a transformational or self-help format. And so, yeah, when I started really diving into my own experience of separation, which I've felt my whole life, just kind of an invisible. barrier, this kind of, or maybe more of an opaque window between me and the world and other people, which led to addiction and all of that. As I started teasing it apart, I was brought back to my birth. And so I explore, you know, beginning at birth with birth trauma and circumcision and being put in a neonatal ward and isolated from, you know, my mom and care and touch and things like that. So the whole book kind of rides on my story and the various trials and tribulations that I've experienced over 55 years. And then out of those stories, I derive teachings, you know, just wisdom that I've gained, mostly the hard way. And then there's also an interactive element where there are practices, self-inquiry, journal prompts, and things like that, so that someone might not relate to being a heroin addict or going to orgies, just some of the stories in the book. But they might relate to their own addictions. You know, it could be their cell phone or it could be dysfunctional relationships, perhaps with one person rather than a multitude of them. So I try to make the book relatable to people that have gone to some gnarly places like I have, but also people that might not have taken it so far because suffering is subjective. You know, we all experience pain in our own way. And the trauma that I experienced in childhood. might pale in comparison to someone who was abused for a much longer period of time or in more violent ways and things like that. So, you know, my goal is to be like, here's one story of many. How does that match up with your story? And how can we all arrive at some solutions regardless of the details of our personal experience? Speaker 3 (11:07) Well, maybe you can give me some advice. I ran into a struggle with my own book too. I mean, Darren's already written a few, but I got sober in 2008 and I've had quite the spiritual journey and we've been podcasting since 2013. I was thinking, well, maybe I need to put this in, but I, there's something about like, it resonated for me when you said that, you know, you had this sort of vision that you need to do this and it will help people and all that. Right. I think I, um, underestimate or I put down my story maybe, or my journey. I don't know if put down is the right word, but maybe under emphasize it or something like that. But anyways, I was inspired when I quit my job and I sort of started doing this full time. And I kind of had, it was during COVID too. And I had these sort of inspirations and downloads. So I started writing it down and I had some, I thought it was some great ideas, but it ended up being more like I was almost creating a program, like a recovery program. Cause I was trying to incorporate like Lynn McTaggart's power of eight with, with, uh, some sort of magic and almost, uh, intentional sort of magical stuff in there and, uh, and meditation and smaller groups, like smaller personal groups where you actually give people intentions, like you're like sort of working through that. And then, and then I didn't even have my story in there. I was just sort of creating this thing that became sort of, then I couldn't decide, was this going to be a program or is it just a book? Like I was trying to just, and then I kind of just got stuck. I'm like, I'm not, I don't want to create a new program. Like I was just. wanting to put out these ideas like this could help people, these small intentional groups. And then I added my story in there, but then it was all off in the timeline. Like it wasn't functioning like a book. So then I realized I had to like put this together in a sort of a memoir format. And then I started it again at the beginning of the year. And then I just, I just can't get motivated to finish it. It's like, Oh, Speaker 4 (12:56) your books are way harder than mine. I mean, I don't have a story in there. You know what I mean? My books are just like, uh, Speaker 4 (13:04) dissemination of information into one place for the most part so that that to me is a lot easier right because i'm not like trying to i don't Speaker 2 (13:13) know Speaker 4 (13:13) what you're in writing Speaker 2 (13:15) about my shit you know what i mean that seems yeah Speaker 4 (13:17) i'm not in recovery i was drunk last week Speaker 2 (13:19) so good for you darren i was Speaker 4 (13:22) only i was only drunk one night that well i had a buzz on a couple nights but but you know what i I noticed is that I was able to like go there and they're part of, there's people that are partying there every night at the event. And it's like, I was like, okay, I'm going to give them one night. I got to give them at least one night as the host. I feel like anyway. And, uh, the rest of the nights I was, you know, I can easily just like have one drink or two drinks and be like, it's 12 o'clock. I'm out. I'm going to bed. You guys do your, and it's like, uh, I don't know. Maybe that is recovered, I guess. So just like, I used to have a real problem with not being able to do that. Speaker 2 (14:03) Yeah. Some of us are lucky enough to walk away the wiser and have some semblance of control and moderation. I was never one of those people. I'm still not. I mean, I just tried to quit nicotine a couple of weeks ago and I was absolutely insane. I Speaker 1 (14:20) mean, Speaker 2 (14:22) literally in the middle of it, I'm like, I think I need to go to rehab. I can't do this. I'm nuts. What Speaker 3 (14:28) kind of nicotine? Like the chew? Speaker 2 (14:30) Yeah, well, when I was writing the book, and I want to get back to your point, Graham, in a second too about that, because, dude, I so relate to the challenge you're experiencing, and maybe we can hash it out. During the process of writing this book, I was chewing coca leaf and using another medicine called Ambile, which is an indigenous South American tobacco paste that's really, really strong. It kind of has the consistency of Shilajit. but it's like a boiled down concentrated tobacco blend. So I'm on both of those. Speaker 4 (15:03) I don't even know what Sheila's heat is. It's pretty nasty. Well, that's a whole other topic. It's like a tar. Speaker 2 (15:10) It's a decomposed plant matter that comes from the high altitude in places like Siberia. And it's just a really nutrient-dense substance you can take. It's part of the Ayurvedic medicine system and so on. Speaker 4 (15:23) Anyway, so Speaker 2 (15:24) I'm just – what's that? It's loaded with Speaker 4 (15:27) nicotine, I guess. Speaker 2 (15:28) Not the Shilajit. What I was using is this Ambil, A-M-B-I-L. Anyway, long story short, basically in order to sit here and write for 10, 12 hours a day and concentrate, I'm just constantly chewing both of these things. And they're both stimulating, produce dopamine, help you focus. I mean, I was just a beast, just a machine at writing. And then when I finished the book, it was like, well, I can't really justify this excess. And also, both are quite expensive. And I'm looking at my credit card statements going, hmm, this is not sustainable. And I just don't like the feeling of being dependent on something. So, you know, that is to say, you know, Darren, you're able to go out and have a couple of drinks and go, you know what? It doesn't serve my highest good to stay here until four in the morning and get shit faced. That's the attitude I have with all of the things from which I'm still abstinent, all the things that were really addictive and problematic. But there's also gray areas, you know, where we get habituated to. pornography, nicotine, spending money, hoarding money, exercise, biohacking. I mean, there's so many levels to addiction from just mere habits to emotional attachments to physical dependency and so on. And I'm definitely someone who's run the gamut of that and have found a pretty sweet spot where I feel comfortable and secure in my sobriety, but I'm also not. living in a cave hiding from the world either. But back to your statement, Graham, I really want to touch on that because what you're describing and Darren, you didn't have this problem writing your books, it sounds like, because they were more narrow in focus, right? You're writing about a thing. And I think, Graham, what you were speaking to is the same challenge I had. It's like, okay, I'm not a celebrity. So no one really cares about like my memoir, my life story. And by the way, publishers don't either, you know, you know, if you're Kim Kardashian, I don't know, like if you're some pop stars and they're like, you know, I read biographies of Keith Richards and people I admire and I just want to hear about their life story. But I'm not famous. So, but my life also has had a lot of valuable lessons. And so I think the challenge for me and maybe what you're experiencing, Graham, is like. trying to take all these big ideas, you know, everything you've learned in your life that could be helpful to people to cram all of that and a lot of living in my case, you know, five plus decades into one book that isn't 1200 pages long that no one will read. Right. So it's like the, the, the outline and the formatting for me really required a lot of help. And I had a couple of different editors that would kind of, you know, they go, Hey, the story's running a little too long here. speed it up, shrink time, expand time. And I read, still read tons of book and continue to read books about how to write, you know, by many of the great authors and things like that, which helped me learn how to kind of structure things and keep the pace moving. Whereas I might have a story that's really compelling and interesting to me because I lived it, but the reader doesn't need three pages of a story that, you know. was an hour of my life or something. Right. So it got to be really fun learning how to play