How I did it: The French driving license

The Earful Tower: Paris

Oliver G recounts his high-speed attempt to obtain a French driving license within a ten-day window. He details the intense preparation requ

Key takeaways

• Oliver passed his driving test with 31 points, notably earning a bonus point for courtesy.
• The written 'Code' exam involves complex multiple-choice questions where multiple answers can be correct.

Main topics

• French driving license process
• Automotive vocabulary in French

Notable quotes

I spent the past 10 days, I think, trying to break the record... in attaining my French driver's license.

Conclusion

An entertaining look at navigating French bureaucracy and cultural nua

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Hello everyone, Oliver G from the Earful Tower here, and have you got your French driver's license? Have you got a driver's license? If maybe you don't drive at all, in any case, I think you're going to find the following conversation quite interesting, and dare I say it, maybe entertaining, because I spent the past 10 days, I think, trying to break the record. in attaining my French driver's license, jumping through all the hoops, language, road rules, and otherwise to get it. So, did I get it? You'll Speaker 2 (0:33) have to Speaker 1 (0:33) listen to the whole episode to find out, and I'll be joined by my wife, Lina, in this episode as, well, if nothing else, someone to help you laugh at my expense in many cases. She'll hang around at the end to answer some fashion-related questions from a listener. But first... This episode has a sponsor and I'm happy to say it's Friends of the Show. Some of you will surely remember my conversation with Patricia Wells back in 2024, the journalist, restaurant critic, four times James Beard winner, who spent over 40 years teaching us all how to cook and eat and fall in love with France. Well, Patricia's back with something really special. In fact, she's back with some other past Friends of the Show, Chez Pluie, that's Hugh and Susanna Cameron. uh australians who are also on the show i think a couple times and they've put together a catalog for a sale that's called at home with patricia wells volume three featuring pieces from patricia and her husband walter's two french homes that's their farmhouse and cooking school at chante duke in provence and their apartment on the rue de bac in paris So we're talking about Provençal furniture, copper cookware, antique tableware, decades of Brocante finds, and each with a story. And there's something special here. If you turn your sound on when you're looking through this catalogue, you can press play on little videos and you can hear Patricia herself walking you through some of the memories behind these pieces. It's genuinely a lovely experience. Even if you're not planning on buying antiques, you should check it out. The catalog's live now to browse. The link is in the show notes. The sale opens October 4th and the first 30 orders get assigned Patricia Wells cookbook. Go and take a look. But first, seatbelts on. Here comes an episode about driving in France and we'll start with some music from Press Maxim. Speaker 2 (2:42) Lena's with me in the studio. Welcome, Lena. Speaker 3 (2:45) Thank you. I Speaker 2 (2:46) got a question for you at the end of this episode from the audience. Okay. So get your thinking hat on already. Speaker 1 (2:53) But Speaker 2 (2:54) we're here to talk about getting a driver's license. And as with all stories, we should start with the boring practicalities. Must Speaker 3 (3:01) we? Speaker 1 (3:02) Yeah, I think people will have questions for this that Speaker 2 (3:05) I may as well answer straight away. Fair enough. I have an Australian driver's license. I've been driving for, I don't know, 20 years. That expired, which is kind of irrelevant, actually. You're not meant to drive in France if you're not European and not French for more than one year on your home license. Have Speaker 3 (3:23) you done that? Speaker 2 (3:24) No. You Speaker 3 (3:25) bad boy. Speaker 2 (3:26) Yes. A lot of people, a lot of Americans I've talked to who live here pretend they're tourists. Yeah, I know. When they rent a car. Yeah. And in Paris, no one really drives. And then, well, because my Australian one expired finally, I was like, this should be the kick in the backside I need to get the French driver's license. You had a similar thinking, but you're European. So what happened with you? Speaker 3 (3:52) So my license expired and I was like, ah, what do I have to do now? I looked it up and voila, it was very easy, thankfully. I just had to do some paperwork to get my French license, actually. No Speaker 2 (4:06) questions? Speaker 3 (4:06) Not really. Even though Speaker 2 (4:08) the road rules are different here to Sweden? Yeah. They didn't even ask you? Speaker 3 (4:12) No. Speaker 2 (4:13) Not the same for me, baby. I know. You poor thing. So I'm going to spell out the typical way that you do it in France. And as with everything, I want to stress this was my journey. Speaker 3 (4:24) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:25) Everyone's is probably different. I mean, Speaker 3 (4:28) there are many schools out there. many ways of teaching and many instructors. And Speaker 2 (4:33) the amount of people I've talked to in the past two weeks, let's say, I know a lot of people are craving this information. Yeah. And even if you're not craving it, I think you'll be entertained by how ridiculous the whole thing is. Speaker 3 (4:43) So Speaker 2 (4:43) let's start with this. I probably broke the record. for going through the process quickly. Speaker 3 (4:51) Yeah, you just, yeah, you went full steam. Speaker 2 (4:54) I'd be surprised if any other man or woman did it quicker. I really would, I think. Speaker 3 (4:58) Yeah, I would be very surprised. Speaker 2 (5:01) So what I did is I went into a driving school close to my house and I said, I've driven for years. How did Speaker 3 (5:08) you find this particular school? It Speaker 2 (5:10) was in August and all of them were closed. And it was open. It was the only one that was open. And it was kind of a bigger one. I'm not going to give them any shout out because I don't necessarily think they deserve it. I think they're fine. I think they're good. Speaker 1 (5:22) Yeah. But Speaker 2 (5:23) I haven't researched. So I just went to one close to my house that was open. I said, Speaker 1 (5:27) I want to get my license quickly. I've driven a lot. And they say, have you got a manual, like a stick license? I said, well, automatic, but I know how to drive manuals. Speaker 2 (5:38) There's another story. And she goes, okay, do your manual. And the way it works is we'll do a mock exam. You come and sit on mock exam. You drive. We tell you if we think you need to do some hours of practice that I announce. Speaker 3 (5:52) Basically to evaluate if you're like an A1, B1, C, you know, in French. Speaker 2 (5:58) Like they're speaking. Yeah. Kind of, yeah. Like Speaker 3 (6:00) whatever you're at. Speaker 2 (6:01) And then you sit a test. I was like, all right, is it expensive? And they're like, yep. I go, okay. How expensive? I said, I'll do fewer lessons is my logic. So Speaker 1 (6:12) I went and sat pretty much the next day. I went and sat a mock exam. And it was kind of funny. I sit in the car with this woman. And at Speaker 2 (6:22) this point, I had done no preparation whatsoever. The French road signs, I mean, just what I've learned over the years by looking at them. Yeah, it would just Speaker 3 (6:30) be you. I Speaker 2 (6:31) didn't do... Oliver Speaker 3 (6:33) G with a 20-year-old license. Speaker 2 (6:34) Yeah, I didn't do a second of understanding Speaker 1 (6:37) how a French road exam works. Nothing. Speaker 2 (6:41) So Speaker 1 (6:41) we sit down and she says, we're in Paris too, mind you. And I think Speaker 2 (6:45) I should add, as an Australian, I'm driving on the wrong side of the road, a manual that I'm not used to, in a language that's not my first. Not really even my second. And with new road signs. Yeah. So all this is happening. Okay. It's Speaker 3 (7:00) a lot of things to take in. Speaker 2 (7:01) And the woman from the very first second, she says, look, it's kind of busy on this road before we pull out. Oh, no, before, even before this, she says, are you ready to go? And I go, yeah. And she goes, no, you're not. I was like, yeah, I am. And she says. The Speaker 3 (7:15) nerve to argue with her. She Speaker 2 (7:17) says, you haven't checked if my seatbelt's on. And I was like, oh, come on. Speaker 3 (7:20) Such a trick. She goes, Speaker 2 (7:21) if you want to do your test, you can have an automatic fail for that. Okay. And she goes, what about your headrest? I was like, what about my headrest? She's like, it's too low. That can be an automatic fail apparently. Okay. So we get all this done. And then she says, the road's a bit blocked. Turn around, drive off in the other direction. Speaker 1 (7:38) Our Speaker 2 (7:38) car's approaching. It's 99 % past. I start to drive. She goes, whoa, Speaker 1 (7:43) what kind of risk taker are you? Speaker 2 (7:46) And I wanted to say, if you weren't in the car, I would have gone. Earlier? Speaker 3 (7:49) Yeah, you're a, what did we say the other day? You're like a fast and loose kind of guy. Fast and loose? Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:54) Also, I've driven for decades and never had any kind of road problems or accidents or whatever. I'm a safe driver, I think. But confident. Oh, Speaker 3 (8:02) no, you're great. Speaker 2 (8:03) Okay. It's all part of the story. So, she's like, you're going to, or immediately, you're very, you're not risk averse. We need you driving, essentially like an old lady. Like Speaker 3 (8:13) a robot. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:15) Of course. That's what I want to see. I said, okay, I can do that. Let's go. Speaker 2 (8:17) So we drive out. It was fine. We drive around on the auto route, the motorway. They take you out to the suburbs where all the tests are. And on the auto route, she's like, change lanes here. And I did a quick shoulder check, as you and I learned. Speaker 3 (8:31) Oh, yeah. Speaker 2 (8:32) Look over your shoulder. Of course. And her reaction was like. Speaker 3 (8:37) She was like, what happened? What happened? Yeah, I Speaker 2 (8:40) thought there was going to be an accident or something. She says, you've got three mirrors you can check. A shoulder check is just glancing over to the left or the right. Oh, Speaker 3 (8:48) wow. Speaker 2 (8:48) I said, okay. Speaker 3 (8:49) Okay. Speaker 1 (8:50) Which I later learned was just her style. Speaker 2 (8:52) Okay. Different Speaker 1 (8:52) instructors have different styles. Oh, man. Speaker 2 (8:54) So she says, reverse parallel park here. Another great point. All these words I didn't know. So she says, fair and clean. Speaker 1 (9:02) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (9:03) I go, she Speaker 1 (9:04) didn't speak Speaker 2 (9:05) English, this lady. Fair enough. Speaker 1 (9:06) Yeah. Speaker 2 (9:07) Fair and grenouille. Okay, what's that then? Grenouille. Park, like a reverse parallel. Okay, yeah, sure, I'll do that. And she says, okay, turn off the car and tell me the last two digits on the odometer. I know you've heard this, but imagine hearing this for the first time. And I'm like, I don't know, 71? Yeah. And she looks at her paper and goes, okay, question 71. And I was like, what is she doing? Question what? And the question was something like... I can't remember, but it was something like, if you put a lot of weight in the back of your car, Speaker 3 (9:38) what Speaker 2 (9:39) do you have to do to offset that? But in French. So Speaker 3 (9:43) for the listeners, why was she asking you a question? Speaker 2 (9:46) Well, for the listeners, I didn't know at this point. The listeners are with me on this one. Yeah, Speaker 3 (9:50) we're all in it together. I was like, what do Speaker 2 (9:52) you Speaker 3 (9:52) do if you put... You're like 71, what's this? Yeah, Speaker 2 (9:54) and Speaker 3 (9:54) I go, what do I Speaker 2 (9:54) do if I put stuff in the back? I don't know. Yeah. And she goes, hmm, no, you adjust the headlights and the tire pressure. And I go, oh, yeah, okay. Speaker 1 (10:04) Yeah. And then Speaker 2 (10:05) she goes, part two, why do you adjust the lights? Oh, my God. And I go, I don't know, to see better? She goes, hmm, no, it's so you don't blind oncoming traffic. And even that word blind, dazzle is the word they use. Éblouir. Speaker 3 (10:21) Wow. I've never heard Speaker 2 (10:21) that word before. Éblouissement. They use that a lot. Oh, Speaker 3 (10:24) wow. And Speaker 2 (10:25) then I go, okay, I think I'm getting the hang of this. It's questions about the car, you know? And she goes, questions. How do you stop a hemorrhage? Speaker 3 (10:33) And I was like, a Speaker 2 (10:34) hemorrhage? Like, what? Are we Speaker 3 (10:36) in medical school suddenly? It wasn't Speaker 2 (10:38) that. It was about a defibrillator. There's so many questions about defibrillators. Speaker 3 (10:41) And Speaker 2 (10:42) I go, I don't know. I mean, I don't know what's going on. Sure, yeah. And she says, your French exam will have this exact thing, and there's 100 three-set questions. Your driving Speaker 3 (10:52) exam. The proper exam. Yeah, Speaker 2 (10:54) yeah, Speaker 3 (10:54) yeah. Speaker 2 (10:54) I go, okay. And she goes, you didn't get the points. They're part of the points. Remember this. This will come back. When you do a driving test, there are 30 points you can get. You automatic fail, you're done. Speaker 3 (11:06) But Speaker 2 (11:06) if you get under 20, you're done. So you Speaker 3 (11:09) have to be above 20? Speaker 2 (11:10) I think 20 is a pass. Okay. Speaker 3 (11:12) And Speaker 2 (11:12) there's a mythical extra bonus point for courtesy that