Cheryl’s Marriage Crisis: Husband vs. Her 18-Year-Old Son

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Dr. Laura fields a call from Cheryl, a 78-year-old woman married for 55 years who feels stifled by her husband's stringent and quirky person

Key takeaways

• Cheryl (78) reports that after 55 years, she still struggles with her husband's rigid and particular nature despite his overall goodness.
• Dr. Laura introduces the 'Tarzan and Jane' dynamic, emphasizing reciprocal duties where men provide/protect and women show appreciation/tenderness.

Main topics

• marital communication breakdown
• traditional gender roles in marriage

Notable quotes

"Me Tarzan, you Jane... What we're very good at is telling everybody what the other person's responsibilities are and how they're not fulfilling them."

Conclusion

The episode delivers a firm, traditionalist perspective on long-term m

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Thanks for listening to my call of the day brought to you by Alloy Health, a digital health platform that connects you with a menopause specialized doctor to help you feel and look your best in midlife. It's all done online from the comfort of your home. Head to myalloy.com and use the code Dr. Laura to get 20 % off your first order. Speaker 3 (0:21) Remember, you can hear my radio program daily. Speaker 2 (0:25) on SiriusXM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at drlaura.com. Cheryl, welcome to the program. Speaker 3 (0:33) Thank you, Dr. Laura. Hi, I've been married to someone. Hi, I've been married to someone for 55 years. Speaker 3 (0:43) I'm 78 years old. He is as well. And I guess I expect he, I don't want to bash the man because he has a lot of great qualities. He's been a great dad. Over the 55 years, I wanted to leave him several times and just couldn't. Well, I didn't because of the children first and foremost, but then when they were all gone and grown, I just didn't have it in me to leave him. Speaker 3 (1:07) Like I say, he's not a bad person, but he's very... Speaker 3 (1:11) Very stringent, very particular. He's the kind that everything is always, where she's always right, that kind of personality. And I'm not saying, I guess I'm kind of like that myself. I just don't know how to navigate this now. I didn't expect this. I've been retired for 10 years. I didn't expect this part of my life to still be like this. You know, it's been decades, Speaker 2 (1:35) decades, decades, and decades. Speaker 2 (1:39) that you didn't treat him sweetly. Speaker 3 (1:43) No, you're right. I didn't allow the time. And now when I try to do that. No, stop. Stop. Speaker 2 (1:49) Stop. Speaker 2 (1:51) Okay. Just stop. Speaker 2 (1:54) People think this is very complex. I happen to be one who does not think this is very complex. Speaker 2 (2:02) me tarzan you jane i thought about that yesterday after a particular call and i noodled it about when i took a long walk me tarzan you jane Speaker 2 (2:13) the man tarzan had certain duties Speaker 2 (2:20) to provide and protect her. Speaker 2 (2:25) reciprocally she showed appreciation and was tender and sweet and took care of him Speaker 2 (2:33) Me, Tars, and you, Jane, we have different responsibilities. Speaker 2 (2:37) What we're very good at is telling everybody what the other person's responsibilities are and how they're not fulfilling them. What we're not so good at is being Jane. Speaker 2 (2:51) I wrote a book called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, my best-selling book ever. Speaker 2 (2:58) There were 13 of them. That was the top of the line. And it was the shortest. Speaker 2 (3:04) Well, I think