From Wall Street to Breaking Norms | Adversity & Rebuilding

The Determined Society with Shawn French | Adversity & Mindset

In this powerful episode of The Determined Society, Shawn French interviews Jay Roberts, a man who overcame adversity from adoption in South

Key takeaways

• Insecurity can be transformed into a powerful motivator when channeled correctly.
• Success is built through consistent daily processes, not shortcuts or quick fixes.

Main topics

• Adoption and identity
• Overcoming adversity and loss

Notable quotes

"If you want to be in the top 0.01%, you have to enter an arena with 10,000 other people in a fight to the death and come out victorious."

Conclusion

Jay Roberts' story exemplifies the transformative power of determination, resilience, and

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) And if you want to be in the top 0.01%, you have to enter an arena with 10,000 other people in a fight to the death and come out victorious. That is what you're competing with. And it can only be done if you have true passion and purpose behind what you're doing. You have to be willing to outwork every single... person because what we have nowadays is a lot of people see things on social media platforms they see this meteoric quick rise and they feel like okay i can get this done in 90 days my parents just passed away i had a choice two different paths to go down to you know kind of be sorry for myself or put my head down and grind it out but there are individuals that have to hop off the train yep you have to Speaker 1 (0:50) keep going through it all, it gets better. It may not feel like it in the moment, but if you keep going, the clouds do dissipate. You see the sunshine. In today's society, in the determined society, if you want to be ultra successful, you have to be super determined. Speaker 1 (1:20) Jay Roberts, welcome to the Determined Society. Thank you. Yeah, Sean, great to be here. Dude, man, three months old, South Korea, given to an orphanage. After all these years, what do you actually know about where you came from? So I've been back to Korea once. I was raised by an American family, grew up in Southern California, and I consider myself very blessed. So, you know, as you mentioned, could have been a statistic. really here pursuing the American dream. And that's one of the beautiful things about this country is that you can come here with nothing. I was raised by a single mom, secretary, two sisters, and my uncle, really. Speaker 1 (2:03) And you can put your mind, you can be determined, you can have a vision for your life, and you can work very hard and accomplish. And really, the sky is the limit here in the United States. So what I remember from Korea is nothing. I've been back one time. I don't speak Korean. My last name is Roberts. And so I really identify more with the American culture. Absolutely, man. If you could sit down with your biological mother. What would be one thing you'd want her to know? You know, people have asked me similar questions my whole life. Growing up in schools, you know, it's different being adopted. Your parents are American. You know, I'm Korean. I look Asian. You know, I got asked many times, do you want to meet your real parents? Many, many, many times. People don't ask me that anymore. But I always say, you know, these are my real parents. So I personally have no... Speaker 1 (3:04) So longing or no questions of my biological parents. You know, there's been many people who've been adopted who go searching and looking. Maybe they have questions about why they were adopted or why they were given up or why they were in an orphanage or their family. Personally, I have zero questions. I don't, you know, I personally don't think about it. You know, I'm very, again, very grateful for my family that did adopt me. for giving me the opportunity, for the confidence, for the love and support to pursue my dreams and really build something from scratch and from the ground up. It's amazing because three months old, you don't know anything, right? You don't have any neurological programming. You don't know what it's like. So when you're growing up in California, I can appreciate, this is my family. This is it right here. Speaker 1 (3:56) How much of the drive and determination you have did you learn from them? The drive and determination, Sean, I think is... A few different factors. I had a very positive friend group that was very competitive. We played sports. We played basketball. We played baseball together. We played soccer, football. So we had this competitive, healthy, competitive drive amongst each other. And then I was also sort of the kid on the outside looking in because my friend's parents, they all lived in these, or my friends, they lived in these big houses. You know, they had two parents. They're, you know, they're. Speaker 1 (4:36) their dads and moms were successful. And we weren't. I grew up in a townhouse. Again, my mom was a secretary. She made $30,000 a year. So there's almost like an insecurity that you develop and a drive of like, I don't want to feel like that. I need to work. If I want to be like that, like my friends or, you know, their parents growing up, you know, have a house on the beach or whatever in the city, I had to work very, very, very hard. Speaker 1 (5:05) That built in me this drive, this determination to really be obsessed with my goals and working and my vision and ultimately building a company. You brought up something very important there that I think people overlook and really demonize. The word insecurity. I think if it's harnessed and used correctly, it could be one of the biggest driving forces and positive things in your life. When you were growing up and all your friends were in these bigger houses and you... come from the townhome, single mom, $30,000 a year. Did any part of that play in your mind at the time? Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, there was always like somewhat of like an embarrassment because we, you know, we didn't come from, you know, better means. And I think as a kid, you don't really know. You just, you're around your friends and, but it built this, Speaker 1 (6:02) This inner determination, this inner drive with no safety net that if I want to get out and I want to be better, I have to work my ass off. And then my parents actually passed away, my mom and my uncle, my senior year of college. Oh, man. So this was in 2007. 2008 happens. Speaker 1 (6:26) world's banking system or the US banking system implodes, we have the great financial crisis, my parents just passed away, I had a choice, really two different paths to go down, to kind of be sorry for myself, my parents just passed away, it's a great financial crisis, or put my head down and grind it out. And for those of you listening, if you don't have a safety net, you didn't start on third base. you really have to stay focused. And my sense of urgency of getting things done and not having a safety net, you know, as I think has helped propel me to, you know, to where we're at today. I can relate to that because when I left corporate America to start the show, right, in 2024, it's not when I started the show. The show was about three years old or close to it. And then I left and I realized very quickly, I'm like, oh shit. Speaker 1 (7:20) I have three kids and a wife. Wow. I don't have anywhere to go other than up. So I had to be very determined and process oriented in order to build this thing to where it is now. Right. And I, and I think that's a special gift and I, and I'm glad you address the audience on that because what we have nowadays is a lot of people see things on social media platforms and they see this meteoric quick rise and they feel like, okay, I can get this done in 90 days. Bullshit. You can't get it done in 90 days. Nothing worth anything is going to happen in that quick period of time. Not even the body you want. It's a quick fix. It's a bandaid. And the pendulum is going to swing hard the back way. Speaker 1 (8:01) So would you call yourself a very process-oriented and strategic individual? Super process-driven. Every day I, you know, well, every night I have a to-do list and I write out my to-do list for the next day. And I've been doing this for 20 years. So, you know, since college, since I graduated college, it's my wife knows, like. Jay has to make his list before we go to bed, before I go upstairs and we hang out and spend time together. So you have to know where you're going. It's really important to write things down. Speaker 1 (8:41) check them off the list. Success is many small things done over and over and over, as you know, Sean. Come on, man. And you've been determined, especially on your podcast. You've interviewed hundreds of people, hundreds of successful people, people who've been to the bottom and risen back up to the top. So process-oriented, organized, and something else that I do that I think is very powerful, and I don't know if enough people do this, is... I have a written vision for my life. Business, for my business, for my family. Really, these are goals for the next 10 years and the next decade. And it's a digital vision board that I read in the morning. It has pictures. It has this written out. And so I'm imprinting this. Speaker 1 (9:35) on my subconscious and my conscious every single day. It's really like programming my own mind. If you've read the book, The Power of the Subconscious Mind, and The Secret, Think and Grow Rich, The Loss of Success in 16 Lessons. So process is important. Having goals is important. Visualizing is important. Having affirmations, surrounding yourself with really positive people. I remember the time I was sitting there watching TV and my son is standing right behind me, looking over me and laughing hysterically. And I'm thinking, what are you laughing at, son? He goes, dad, you're balding. You have this massive bald spot on the top of your head. Immediately, I was mortified. I'm like, take a picture of this thing. And he did. And come to find out, he wasn't just joking with me. He wasn't just. Speaker 1 (10:24) playing around or whatever kids do, he was telling me the truth. So immediately I took action and got a hold of lock lab. And I'm going to tell you what I've been using this product for four months in my hair is growing back. It is fuller and I need haircuts more frequently. So being on camera and taking constant pictures all the time for the determined society podcast, I have to not be bald. I mean, it's just one of those things. I'm not ready for that yet. Lock Lab has given me the opportunity to regrow my hair so it's fuller and I could not be more happy with the results so far and I know they're just going to get better. I just take one pill a day so it's super simple to fit into any routine. Lock Lab was formulated by past president, the American Board of Hair Restoration Surgery and one of the American Hair Loss Association's 2026 best surgeons in the world to give men Speaker 1 (11:21) the most hair back medically possible. You can get Lock Lab 100% online and delivered direct to your door. Simply click through the questionnaire and once approved, you'll receive your treatment in days. If you've been thinking about doing something about your hair loss, now's the time. Go to locklab.co and take the first step with a free consultation. Okay, now you're speaking my language here. Okay, because I feel all the things that you're talking about, we're talking about the secret to think and grow rich, vision board, manifestation. That's only half the equation. And I want the audience to really dial in on this, right, for those that are watching or listening, because a lot of people watch The Secret and read The Secret and then they think like. Speaker 1 (12:07) All I got to do is blink and then that red Ferrari is going to show up in the driveway. It's not freaking accurate. You know, there's a process involved in it. There's strategy involved in it. And the one thing that I think is so important to point out, and I'm sure you can speak to the audience about this, is not just having the process and doing it. It's expectation. The expectation destroys people because they think that, okay. My expectation is if I do this, I get that. They turn it into a quid pro quo instead of turning it into a standard and understanding that that journey and everything that you do at night to write down your to-do list and you check it off the next day, that's the win. The results and the runs on the scoreboard come after a long period of time of doing that over and over again. And I think that is lost in translation a lot. It's absolutely right. Speaker 1 (13:03) You know, I have a podcast called The Long Game. And I thought long and hard about the name. Should it be about real estate? Should it be about deals, deal making? And similar to your show, Sean, The Determined Society, The Long Game, people who reach the pinnacle of success, they're very determined. It's a journey and it's a long road. You know, you know, it's not, there's no shortcuts. There's ups, there's downs, there's problems, there's headaches on a daily basis. You don't just write it down and in 60, 90 days, like you said, a red Ferrari shows up. You program yourself and you build these habits that you have to implement and execute and compound over and over and over. And the universe and the world is, is, is, is, I like to think, you know, perfectly, perfectly. Speaker 1 (14:05) it's going to give you what you put into it. And we always say, you know, if it was easy, everyone would do it. So it tests you. It tests you. And at every level that you go up, the test, there's more tests. And there's more challenges. The problems get bigger. You just have to learn how to solve them. And hopefully you have more support around you at the time when the problems get so big that you can. Here you go. You handle this part. I'll handle this part. Right. But I just think that it's critical to understand that doing these things daily, no matter what it is, I don't care if you're working on your body and we'll get to that. Right. The whole longevity game. But when you're working an IPO, right, or, you know, massive public offerings, you know, selling skyscrapers on the water. Speaker 1 (15:00) building your body to a certain point, building a family, you have to do things without expectation of something in return for a very long time. And when you can do that, things get a little lighter. You know, you're not always waiting for that. Well, where's my reward? You know, where's my piece of chocolate, so to speak, right? I just think that's something that there's not enough people talking about it. They want to make it look like it's so easy. You're right. And, you know, other people say this, but it's really falling in love with the process. You have to fall in love with the process because once you get the reward, you get the reward. And so yesterday we closed on a real estate acquisition, one acre waterfront site in Brickell to build a 60-story tower. Speaker 1 (15:55) There's been so much work that has gone into this deal and this transaction. There's been ups and downs and headaches. And it's done. And I was talking with my wife last night and reflecting. And it was a really complicated transaction. And at the end, it took a few weeks longer because it was so complicated. And I'm appreciative of how complicated it was. Because now the next... deal that you do or that I do, it's going to be easier. It's, it's, it's, you know what to look for. So, you know, when you have challenges, you have problems, it's, it's really a privilege. You know, when you're, when you're pursuing really big goals or pursuing any goals in your life, whether it's fitness, like you said, family, you know, a marriage, your kids, raising your kids, having a business, starting a podcast, it shouldn't be easy because nothing that is easy is valuable. Speaker 1 (16:54) Everyone is doing