I will never tolerate disrespect again

The Cozy Chat Podcast

Host Aaliyah recounts a deeply personal encounter of blatant colorism at a Miami restaurant where a server consistently ignored her in favor of her lighter-skinned friend. Initially suppressing her

Key takeaways

• Aaliyah experienced overt colorism at Miami's Bistro Cafe when a server exclusively engaged her lighter-skinned friend while ignoring her completely.
• She initially swallowed the disrespect to protect her friend's birthday mood, later regretting not requesting a manager or leaving the table.

Main topics

• Colorism and racial discrimination in service industries
• Self-advocacy and setting firm personal boundaries

Notable quotes

"I will never tolerate disrespect again."

Conclusion

Listeners are encouraged to recognize their inherent worth, set firm b

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Hey girl, hey, thank you so much for tapping into the cozy chat podcast. As you take in this episode, I really hope it resonates with you and you see yourself in this message. So girl, go ahead and grab some tea, grab that blanket because you're getting ready to get cozy. What is up home girls and welcome back to the Cozy Chat Podcast. I hope this week has treated you well. We are halfway through girls. Stay strong. Okay, stay strong and stay encouraged. I hope you've been enjoying the last few episodes. Really happy to have you back. And of course, we're going to get right into it. I don't have any crazy updates. So I think I'm just going to go right into tonight's message, which I think you'll find really interesting because you guys, this is so layered. Speaker 1 (0:48) this story this learning like it's still kind of still kind of processing it so let's just get into it I will never tolerate disrespect again and I feel like people will read this title and automatically go to like a man because I don't know culture is so like oh men and you know just real like negative and all about a man this is has nothing let me go ahead and let you know right now This has nothing to do with a relationship. This has nothing to do with any of that. This honestly, truly, actually, girl, which is like so wild, is actually rooted in discrimination and racism, which I have never experienced or I feel like it's never been that blatant. like in my face, you know what I'm saying? So, um, anyway, I know you're like, wait, Aaliyah, what? So let me get into it. I'm gonna set the stage. So I, I don't know if I told you guys or not, but I did go to Miami for my friends. Oh yeah, I did. I said in another episode, end up going to Miami for, um, my friend's birthday. Um, it overall, it was a great trip. It was cool. Um, the day after her birthday, we went to this place called Bistro Cafe. Miami I have been there before when I went there in the past time I went there it was three of us it was actually us two again and one of our other friends and the service was fine I I will say I did throw up that night TMI I did get sick that night but I don't know if it was the food I don't know if it was me drinking this was like two last year no year before last I can't remember but um but I say all that to say the service itself and just like the experience of the restaurant it was fine like it was fine it wasn't even though I did get sick after I ate there on top of like going out and doing stuff so I couldn't necessarily pinpoint that 100 % it was bistro that got me sick you know so it was enough to have me willing to go back my friend also like that place as well so I was like okay cool you know I have no problem going back there this is still the day after her birthday so um like lol at the whole joke like you the birthday so I mean technically her birthday had passed but it's day after so it's still giving you know you the birthday so um they usually have a long wait it's fine we get seated um as soon as we sit down we have a server this um Mail. Speaker 1 (3:32) I like pause whether I feel like this is relevant to Cher or not. But... But I don't know. I think I am going to share it. And this is just so you have the full context. Like he was very, he was very. energetic a little like hey girl you know like real real cutesy you know there's like you know like cuban cute little cuban man so um he comes up to the table and when he first comes up he like says it to my friend but you know how sometimes you're walking up and they're just like hey beautiful you know like walking whatever whatever he had said i don't remember all the ins and outs but whatever he had said to my friend um i was enthused like i was like Speaker 1 (4:12) I actually said at the table, I was like, oh, I think he has great energy. Again, still she the birthday. So I'm trying to not trying. I mean, it wasn't like I had to try hard, but it was a thing of like, oh, cool. Like I like his energy. Really cool. So after he leaves, then he comes back and then he is talking to her about the menu. Speaker 1 (4:35) And as he's talking to her about the menu, she's asking him, like, what do you think is good? Like, whatever. They're having some type of exchange. And then after they're done speaking, he just walks off. So, again, so it's the first introduction, which he is saying hi, but primarily, like, talking to her. That's fine. And then he comes back again and now going over the menu, and then he only is talking to her. So at this point, I'm kind of like, you know, okay, like, whatever. Um. But it's enough where I'm like at first. Okay, the first time he did it. I was like, oh, I love his energy I thought he was fun because he had good energy and he was like cute and he was like, you know Just real like hey mama, you know, whatever Then he comes back again. And when he just kind of talked to her about the menu I was kind of like, okay I mean I could have had a question but like that's fine Then he comes back again and then he's like, are you guys ready to order? Again, still just addressing my friend first, which like, okay. And then she directs it to me. She's like, well, you can order first. And I was like, okay. So then I order and whatever I ordered, they couldn't do. They couldn't sub out or like something like that. But like, I don't know, just to like sum up the experience, it was like he was very one-sided. So he was very interested in just like speaking to her and it started to, and I don't even go to race and I don't even go to, that's not even my thing. Like when someone is nasty, someone's rude, someone from a different, you know, race, ethnicity, you know, culture, whatever. If I feel like for whatever reason, my mind doesn't go, oh, it's because you're Cuban. Oh, it's because you're Indian. Like I don't, I don't, I don't go like that, you know? But I think when he, Great, we're both black girls, but... You know, I'm in Miami, so I'm pretty brown, you know, I mean she's not super super light-skinned But she would be lighter than me in this instance. So That's when it started to feel kind of like okay. Are you really? just like Speaker 1 (6:37) Are you discriminating against me because I'm darker? Like that's kind of what it was giving and what it was feeling like. And I think the kicker was when he came back to do the order the other time and he went to her first. She's literally done ordering y'all. And then after she's done speaking, he's still just like looking at her. And then she. Then she's like, I'm done. And then, mind you, with her, it's all the things of like, I want you to be happy. We have a drink called Be Happy because I want you to be happy. Like a very playful banter with her. He literally turns and he looks at me and then he's like, me. And I'm not laughing because it's funny because nothing about this is funny. I was actually like, I've never experienced anything like this a day in my life, y'all. It was so gross, so disrespectful, so nasty. But. you could clearly tell that like once he once i really picked up on it that um Speaker 1