Clair and James Buckley's WORST JOBS

The Buckleys

James and Claire Buckley navigate a series of nostalgic moans and listener-submitted workplace disasters. The episode moves from James's fru

Key takeaways

• James recalls a frustrating school experience watching the percussion-heavy show Stomp.
• Listener Ollie describes an estate agency mishap involving a saucepan to wake a deaf tenant.

Main topics

• Retro moans
• Workplace anecdotes

Notable quotes

The coffee will kill you.

Conclusion

A humorous collection of shared irritations that highlights the chaos

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) I woke up today thinking about something that annoyed me decades ago. Do you remember Stomp? F***ing hours of people banging on shit. And then someone else would join in and then it would become a big thing and it'd be a big crescendo and then suddenly there's 30 people and then it would stop. Speaker 3 (0:19) As an ex-barmaid, the coffee will kill you. Speaker 2 (0:23) What? Speaker 3 (0:24) Have an orange juice. Give me a break. No, I'm trying to froth milk. Remember we had an estate agent that you got obsessed with? Speaker 2 (0:32) Joe? Speaker 3 (0:32) It was Joe! Yeah, I'm Speaker 2 (0:35) going red. Speaker 3 (0:39) Oh, man. I've done it again. Speaker 2 (0:41) What's wrong? You can't see the mic. You've wore orange. And you're wearing two-stripe. Speaker 3 (0:47) They're not two-stripe. Uh-oh. You're wearing two-stripe. They're not two-stripe. Where did you Speaker 2 (0:51) get those from? Tesco's? Speaker 3 (0:52) No. I got them from that Australian brand that I love. Clothes wearing two-stripe. Two-stripe are cool now. Speaker 2 (0:59) Yeah. I Speaker 3 (1:00) don't conform to the three. Speaker 2 (1:01) Well, you're wearing three-stripe trainers. Speaker 3 (1:03) Yeah, so I'm both. I'm cool and a consumer. Speaker 2 (1:06) Yeah. What are we doing? We're doing a podcast. Speaker 3 (1:12) Again. Speaker 2 (1:14) We're doing a podcast. Hello. Hello. Speaker 3 (1:18) Hello. Speaker 2 (1:19) Welcome to The Buckleys, the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. Before we get into it, we just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify. or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you do enjoy the show... I've gone a bit Wogan. Should I do the whole podcast Wogan? Speaker 3 (1:46) Why not? And Speaker 2 (1:46) if you do enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a review after? Speaker 2 (1:56) That's not a bad Wogan. Is Speaker 3 (1:58) it not? Speaker 2 (1:59) That was all right. I didn't know I had Wogan in the locker. Speaker 3 (2:02) Okay. Well, there you go. Speaker 2 (2:03) Oh, dear. Do you remember that, what was it, Children in Need? Speaker 3 (2:07) Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:08) Do you remember one year they were doing these adverts for Children in Need and they had Wogan with a big, like, muscly body? Speaker 3 (2:14) No. I don't remember that. I just had a Speaker 2 (2:16) flashback to that. Speaker 3 (2:18) No. He had, like, Speaker 2 (2:19) a body. They sort of, like, CGI'd his head onto, like, a bodybuilder's body. Speaker 3 (2:23) Right. Speaker 2 (2:24) It was just Wogan with an oily body. And what was the Speaker 3 (2:27) point there? I don't know. I can't remember. I just got that Speaker 2 (2:29) image in my head. Speaker 3 (2:30) Well, whatever turned you on then. Speaker 2 (2:32) Well, I didn't say it turned me on. Relax. Speaker 3 (2:35) Why are you thinking about it all the time then? This Speaker 2 (2:37) is sexy. Speaker 3 (2:39) Oh, Speaker 2 (2:39) dear. Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Claire, how are you? Speaker 3 (2:42) Okay. Speaker 2 (2:43) Good. You're good? Yeah. Speaker 3 (2:44) Yeah. Got Speaker 2 (2:45) into another phone call fight, didn't I? So Jude's birthday's coming up. As of recording, it's in a few days' time. It Speaker 3 (2:52) is, yeah. Speaker 2 (2:53) And I'd spent a fortune on a hockey stick for Jude. He needed a new hockey stick. Speaker 3 (2:57) Yes. Because he's Speaker 2 (2:57) growing mental. He's really shooting Speaker 3 (3:00) up that one. Speaker 2 (3:01) It's insane. Paid extra for faster delivery as well. Waiting for this thing to turn up. Still not arrived. Talking to someone on the phone saying, where is it? They say it's been delivered. Stalemate. Speaker 3 (3:15) You Speaker 2 (3:15) haven't delivered it. Yes, we have. Speaker 3 (3:17) So Speaker 2 (3:18) I wasn't sure what to do. I said, is there any photo evidence of the package being left? They said it was handed to a resident checkmate. Speaker 2 (3:29) I thought, I've got you now, because it's not here. You hear me on the phone, you're like, who are you talking to? I was like, I'm chasing up Jude's hockey stick. You were like, it's here, it's here, I've got it. Speaker 3 (3:37) Yeah, I hid it. Speaker 2 (3:39) I know, I was like, yeah, exactly, yeah, you had to be hidden. Speaker 3 (3:41) Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:41) So I didn't know it had been delivered. No, Speaker 3 (3:43) I forgot to tell you. Speaker 2 (3:44) And I, this is the worst. You called him a liar. I was, I, well, I was trying to get to the bottom of. In a roundabout way, you didn't Speaker 3 (3:52) say that word. Now, Speaker 2 (3:53) what was really bad was that, I think. He could probably hear you telling me that it's been delivered. So I had to apologise to the guy. And that is the worst way to win an argument. Speaker 3 (4:05) Oh, you still won. Speaker 2 (4:06) No, I didn't. I lost. Speaker 3 (4:08) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:08) If you're ever arguing with someone, never apologise. You instantly lose the argument there and then. Yeah. So I had to say sorry. And we laughed about it afterwards. Speaker 3 (4:20) And Speaker 2 (4:20) now we're great friends. Speaker 3 (4:22) But... Your first instinct when you came off the phone, you were like, why did you move it? Why did you put it in there? And I was like, because it's Jude's birthday present and it literally says on the box, hockey stick. Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:36) In Speaker 3 (4:37) the shape of a big hockey stick. Speaker 2 (4:39) And Speaker 3 (4:39) I was like, wow. It did slip my mind. I don't know who's to blame. You should maybe have checked with me if it had come. Before you went ahead. In Speaker 2 (4:52) my defence, you put it in that room with the washing machine in it. Speaker 3 (4:56) Utility. And Speaker 2 (4:57) I'm never fucking going in there, am I, Kai? So how was I supposed to know the thing had been delivered? Speaker 3 (5:02) Yeah, I know. And actually, that is why I put it in there, because nobody in our house goes in there apart from me. And you, Jude, wouldn't go in there either. Why Speaker 2 (5:10) would you? Speaker 3 (5:11) To help mum. Speaker 3 (5:14) Maybe take the wet clothes out and put them in the dryer. Maybe do some folding. Speaker 2 (5:19) Anyway, thanks for that. I lost an argument, which I hate doing. Speaker 3 (5:24) Yeah. Speaker 2 (5:24) I was sorry. Have Speaker 3 (5:26) you used an inappropriate coat hanger to hang that up? Speaker 2 (5:31) No, no. Speaker 3 (5:32) You look like you're wearing little pointy shoulder pads. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:35) this Speaker 3 (5:35) has Speaker 2 (5:35) never been hung. This is fresh out the packet today. Right. Speaker 3 (5:38) They've hung it on a coat hanger that's sticking out. No, Speaker 2 (5:41) no, no, it's just quite... It Speaker 3 (5:43) looks like paper mashing. Yeah. Speaker 2 (5:46) I bought it. We're talking about Speaker 3 (5:48) James's top, by the way, for people not watching. Speaker 2 (5:51) You know, I bought this top and I did look at myself in the mirror. I was like, God, that's a weird fit. Speaker 3 (5:57) They're very... You've got, like, sort of, like, an evil... Speaker 2 (6:01) This is, like, what you'd make a tote bag out of or something. Yeah, Speaker 3 (6:05) yeah. Speaker 2 (6:06) It doesn't look Speaker 3 (6:07) comfortable. It's Speaker 2 (6:08) not very, no. Speaker 3 (6:09) Yeah. Speaker 2 (6:10) But like I say, I bought it, so I was like, I suppose I better wear it. Speaker 3 (6:13) Yeah. Well, speaking of comfort, I've got a little confession to make. Speaker 2 (6:18) Go on. Speaker 3 (6:19) This isn't a pyjama top, okay? Let me just be clear on that. Speaker 2 (6:24) No. Speaker 3 (6:24) However... Speaker 2 (6:25) You do use it. I Speaker 3 (6:26) do go to bed wearing this, yeah. And I didn't wear it last night. Speaker 2 (6:30) No. But Speaker 3 (6:31) I got up this morning. I couldn't be bothered to, like... think about clothes and I saw it sitting on my chair and I was like fuck it so I'm kind of wearing pyjamas you're not no I'm not it's not it's not technically pyjamas but it is it is my pyjamas yeah but Speaker 2 (6:48) no one would have known here's something I did want to talk to you about Claire okay Speaker 3 (6:51) now Speaker 2 (6:52) here's a question for you is there anything that you wished you had learned but you never did like a skill like an instrument or something like that oh Speaker 3 (7:05) Yeah, well, the first thing that actually came to my mind was because when I was younger in my early teens, I was learning to play drums. Right. And my dad even bought me a drum set out in the garage and I took it very seriously, but for a very short space, short amount of time. Yeah, Speaker 2 (7:27) we know what that's like. And I Speaker 3 (7:29) wish I had stuck at that. I wish I could play the drums. Yeah. Speaker 2 (7:33) I Speaker 3 (7:33) wish I could, like, really do Speaker 2 (7:35) it. Speaker 3 (7:35) Yeah, Speaker 2 (7:35) that would have been cool. Speaker 3 (7:36) Yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (7:38) We've got a drum kit. I Speaker 3 (7:39) know. I know we do. And I'm not, like... terrible i can carry a little beat and stuff but i really wish i i really wish i'd stuck it and i could do it really good yeah Speaker 2 (7:51) you can do like a basic yeah call it four four two four beat or something yeah Speaker 3 (7:57) i Speaker 2 (7:58) always wished that i'd learned how to skateboard right Speaker 3 (8:02) i Speaker 2 (8:02) really do you're Speaker 3 (8:04) kind of of obsessed with skateboarding actually you're always buying documentaries on skateboarders ever Speaker 2 (8:10) since i was a kid i've always watched like skateboarding skateboarding videos yeah always appreciated it i've always like yeah so good what they can do and i'm always dead impressed and i always wish that i learned to skateboard there was a few years ago i was gonna Speaker 3 (8:25) say did you ever try i Speaker 2 (8:27) used to have skateboards and stuff as a kid so Speaker 3 (8:29) did the boys i could stand up Speaker 2 (8:31) on them Speaker 3 (8:31) Right. And Speaker 2 (8:32) skate and go down a hill and stuff like that. Right. But I'd never once worked out how you ollie. I tried to. Speaker 3 (8:39) Right. It just Speaker 2 (8:40) didn't make sense. It was just, it just, it was like you kick off and you slide your foot forward and that motion sort of makes you. Ollie or whatever and I was just like this doesn't make sense this goes against physics right Speaker 3 (8:54) and Speaker 2 (8:54) I loved all the culture as well and it's very sort of in with jackass yeah I Speaker 3 (8:58) was gonna say I think that's sort of part of the time and I remember my big brother being really into skateboarding and stuff and everybody was obsessed with Tony Hawk for a while oh yeah and the Speaker 2 (9:08) video game came out yeah that was yeah one of my most favorite ever video games yeah My brother used to wear like Speaker 3 (9:14) baggy jeans with like a chain with his wallet connected to it. Speaker 2 (9:19) Good. Yeah, good stuff. No, but I do. I like the culture. I like the videos. I just wish. I love everything about skateboarding. I just can't do it myself. Speaker 3 (9:31) Right, yeah. Wow, we've got skateboards at home. I Speaker 2 (9:34) know. We've got quite a good one as well. The kids Speaker 3 (9:37) were into it for a little while. I Speaker 2 (9:38) bought Jude a proper birdhouse. which i think is tony hawks's brand or something like skateboard um and i've got uh like i've bought skateboard decks off of like signed by steve-o and people like that yeah Speaker 3 (9:52) that's right Speaker 2 (9:53) um but i do uh i just wish there was a few years ago when i was in america and um I was working out there but I wasn't working every day and you and the kids were at home and I didn't really have much to do and I didn't really know anyone over there. Were Speaker 3 (10:08) you Speaker 2 (10:08) thinking Speaker 3 (10:08) about buying a skateboard and just going to a skate park every day? No, Speaker 2 (10:11) I Speaker 3 (10:11) was Speaker 2 (10:11) googling adult skateboard lessons. Speaker 3 (10:16) oh i Speaker 2 (10:17) was i googled like you're a Speaker 3 (10:20) simple little thing one-on-one Speaker 2 (10:21) personal trainer but with a skateboarder oh my Speaker 3 (10:24) god and Speaker 2 (10:25) specifically for people in their 30s Speaker 3 (10:28) right yeah okay um Speaker 2 (10:30) and yeah no there was a few about i sort of chickened out you didn't Speaker 3