The Buffalo Curse, a Mega-Mailbag, QB Roulette, and Week 3 Picks With Joe House and Tom Pelissero

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Bill Simmons and Joe House navigate a massive listener mailbag, covering everything from Deshaun Watson's recent performance to the 'crockpo

Key takeaways

• Deshaun Watson is humorously dubbed 'Deshaun of the Dead' following his recent Browns performance.
• The hosts debate if Caleb Williams' injury cart exit sets a new standard for dramatic NFL exits.

Main topics

• NFL Mailbag
• Coaching Hot Seats

Notable quotes

Deshaun of the dead

Conclusion

A high-energy episode blending irreverent sports commentary with speci

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:06) The Bill Simmons Podcast brought to you by The Ringer Podcast Network, where you can find the new episode of The Rewatchables. We did Law Abiding Citizen this week. Next week, we are doing another rom-com. Yeah. 13 going on 30. Jennifer Garner, a classic. It's on Netflix if you haven't seen it, or if you have seen it, or in the case of my wife and daughter, if you've been watching it really since 2004. Speaker 3 (0:32) My daughter was watching. She was minus one. She was somehow watching it, I think, in my wife's belly. A beloved rom-com. So that's coming on Monday. Coming on this podcast, Joe House and I are going to do a big listener mailbag. We're going to take a break. Bringing Tom Palacero in. He's going to give us the scoop on what's going on in the NFL heading into week three. And then House and I are going to do Ringer 107 picks. It's all coming up next. We're going to take a break. Pearl Jam. And then mailbag. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel. The NFL is here and it's the most rewarding season ever on FanDuel with the all-time FanDuel Rewards Club. Every eligible bet can earn you points. Win or lose, you still get points. The more points, the bigger the rewards you can unlock. Head to FanDuel.com slash BS to start earning with FanDuel Rewards Club. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Get in a problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. Speaker 3 (2:02) Thursday, mid-afternoon, East Coast time. Joe House is here. We're going to do picks in a little bit. I have a mailbag for you, House, and I didn't send you any of the questions ahead of time. Not one. No prep. But this is why you're one of the greats. You're just going to roll with me. How are you, by the way? Speaker 2 (2:16) I'm phenomenal. I had a little midweek business trip, and at this stage of life, business trip means golf trip. So great time down in Richmond, Virginia, playing golf. Rained a little bit, but, you know, I'm back at it. Ready to grind. Are you excited for Jessalyn Book Club? Speaker 2 (2:34) You're a big English major. Yeah. I have so many things to say about the Gelsenick Book Club. Positive? Oh, all the best things, but none of which I'm going to say on camera. Oh, well, you were an English major in college. You're going to have to come on. He's a deep Speaker 3 (2:52) thinker when it comes to the books. I know. Well, it doesn't sound like you're that excited about it. All right. Mailbag question. These are mailbag questions from actual listeners. And the first one is from Joe from SoCal. Listening to your zombie Deshaun take, and I think you should hereby refer to him as Deshaun of the dead, like the early 2000 zombie parody movie. I love Deshaun of the dead. I'm officially calling him that for Speaker 2 (3:17) the Speaker 3 (3:17) rest of my life. Speaker 2 (3:18) It's a great name. And I wish I knew which version we were going to get in the, in this game against the Panthers this weekend. Speaker 3 (3:26) Spoiler alert for our ringer one Oh seven picks coming later is Tampa Cleveland on your card. It is not. Speaker 2 (3:35) It's on my card. Not Tampa Cleveland. Wait, Speaker 3 (3:37) wait, Speaker 2 (3:37) wait. Tampa Cleveland was a zombie apocalypse. That Speaker 3 (3:42) was the actual zombie apocalypse. The game stopped and everything. No, no. The Cleveland this week. Speaker 2 (3:48) Yes. Are they on your card? They are not. Against Carolina? No, they are not. Jeremy in Seattle wants Speaker 3 (3:55) to know, the Paul Pierce wheelchair gif stood alone for decades. Unfair. He thought his knee popped. He panicked. Is the Caleb Williams carting off gift the new gold standard? Congrats to Paul Pierce. You might finally be Speaker 2 (4:10) off the hook. What do you think? First of all, the Paul Pierce gift, definitely fair. He thought his knee popped, but they got him up off the court. He got into the chair. You know whether or not your knee popped. He came back and he made some threes and we beat the Lakers in a finals game. In the game. He Speaker 3 (4:30) came back in the game. He didn't sit out the rest of the game. I feel like it's entirely fair. Caleb Williams made everyone think he blew out his Achilles and was really upset on the cart. And then it turns out he might even be playing this weekend. It's an astonishing performance Speaker 2 (4:44) by Caleb. Just magnificent. And the internet really has responded in kind. Not kind, but in kind. The internet has some opinions of Caleb Williams and the way that that whole thing. went down. My favorite was probably the side-by-side of Jackson Dart walking off the field with torn ligaments in his knee and Caleb, you know, with a towel over his head. That one was a favorite. Some people are just bad with pain. Speaker 3 (5:14) I mean, it's a reality. It's Speaker 2 (5:16) a Speaker 3 (5:16) reality. My wife loves Instagram dog videos because she obviously clicks on all of them and then they get served to them. And it's this never-ending cycle. There's this video. I think it's of a basset hound or a pit bull. I can't remember who's getting his nails Speaker 2 (5:30) clipped. Speaker 3 (5:30) Have you seen it? I saw Speaker 2 (5:31) it this week. I adored it. I'm not even on that algorithm, but I saw it. Speaker 3 (5:36) Nothing's happening. And then all of a sudden, the dog's nail gets clipped and he just goes. Speaker 2 (5:43) For like 20 seconds. He does two. He does a whole one that goes 20 seconds and then he goes right back at it. It's only one nail clipping. He's so upset. Speaker 3 (5:51) He Speaker 2 (5:51) doesn't like pain. He was on the injury cart. He's freaking out. It's anticipatory pain for the dog. It doesn't hurt to have your nails clipped. He's just sure that they're going to cut his paw. Poor guy. Dogs don't like pain. Maybe some Speaker 3 (6:04) NFL players don't either. Speaking of the Browns. Ken from Cleveland said, as a lifelong Browns fan before last weekend's game, I realized the most Browns thing that could happen was us beating the Bucs. Now we are stuck with Watson starting the home opener, coming off arguably his best start as a Brown, which will lead to fans trying to tuck themselves into him. All leading to the typical disappointment that fans feel watching the Browns losing another home opener. 10-6 when Watson throws multiple interceptions in his boot throughout the game in the factory of sadness. Anyway. Congrats on another week of betting against Deshaun Watson. No way the Browns scored 20 points in this game. You might even get two weeks because we play Pittsburgh the week after. These are all some really good points. Speaker 3 (6:46) We made a lot of fun of Deshaun last week. I'm not Speaker 2 (6:49) betting against him. I'm just not doing it. Speaker 3 (6:52) Deshaun Speaker 2 (6:52) of the dead. You're staying away. He played better than Baker Mayfield. He had a better game than Baker Mayfield. Baker Mayfield is making $165 million over these next three years. Speaker 3 (7:02) I sadly watched the entire game and said this on Sunday night. I thought Deshaun of the dead was legitimately good in that game. Now he wasn't throwing anything really deep, but it was all short stuff. He had a real rhythm. Their offense was moving the ball. Great yak. And it seemed like his teammates were buying into him. I might get sucked in. You'll have to stay. Yo Cannon from South Florida. I hope I said that correctly. He said, you always talk about coaches on the hot seat. Maybe we need a new category. We call it the crock pot slow cooker seat. This is a good one for you. When your wife, mom makes a delicious slow-cooked stew. What's better than that smell, by the way? Speaker 2 (7:44) We're in crockpot season now, officially, too. You have to wait all night or 24 Speaker 3 (7:49) hours for the stew to be ready. You get up in the morning and the whole house smells good, but it's not ready to be eaten yet. You just keep thinking about it all day until finally about 24 hours later, you're ready to eat that delicious stew. How hungry are you right now? Just over the top. It's amazing. This is a perfect category for coaches that we just feel like the seat is warming up, but we still need to wait a little bit for the seat to be proper hot. So I guess the analogy here is Jim Harbaugh. Is it a crockpot seat or a hot seat for Jim Harbaugh right now? It might be a crockpot seat. I think we're taking the crockpot to Buffalo this weekend. Speaker 2 (8:24) I think that's crazy. Harbaugh, he will bail before the seat gets hot enough. It's an eject seat for him. He's in a fighter jet and he's like, I'm not going to let these guys get there. I'm going to hit the eject button and float down to some soft landing. Who's Speaker 3 (8:46) the Speaker 2 (8:46) crockpot coach then? So you think Jim Harbaugh's in the Top Gun eject Speaker 3 (8:50) seat? Speaker 2 (8:51) Bowles is for sure in a hotter seat. Bowles is in a hot seat, though. He's not a crockpot seat. So it's already hot. It's not warming up. It's a coach Speaker 3 (9:01) that we have some questions and concerns about, but it hasn't really got... Here's one. I wouldn't rule this one out, especially if they go in three this weekend, but D'Amico Ryans. Speaker 3 (9:17) Could that be cooking on the stove like a stew for a few weeks? Speaker 2 (9:20) Well, I'm not sure because all three hard games and they started 0-3 last season. And, you know, I don't even recall him being on any kind Speaker 3 (9:30) of a war seat. Speaker 2 (9:30) I like Harbaugh as the Speaker 3 (9:31) crockpot guy. Speaker 2 (9:32) All right. Do you think stews Speaker 3 (9:34) are Speaker 2 (9:34) underrated? Yes, yes. I'm so ready. We're in the season. I saw my first white guy with the beard wearing the knit hat. You hear on the East coast, you know, where we're fishing, I'm sure up in Boston, they're all over the place. Yeah. Uh, and yeah, the first Chris Speaker 3 (9:48) Ryan, Speaker 2 (9:48) no, I mean, Chris, that is a look for Chris Ryan. That's true. But I didn't see Chris Ryan with Speaker 3 (9:55) multiple layers. Yeah. Um, the thing with the stew, there's never enough like broth in the stew and where the stews, my, my wife, I, when she's a little hit or miss with it, but when it hits, it's unbelievable. But if there's not enough stew, then it just becomes all the contents of the stew after like one day. And it all, you know what I mean? You can, you can re-broth. But then if it's too brothy. You can re-broth. If it's too brothy, then it's not stewy enough. There's like this real middle ground you have to hit. It's really hard. Speaker 2 (10:25) There's a great spot Speaker 3 (10:25) there. Speaker 2 (10:26) This is a nice challenge. Let's pose this one to Dave Chang. Maybe when you come to LA, Speaker 3 (10:30) maybe Dave Chang can make us a stew. Speaker 2 (10:33) Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Let's see. The Speaker 3 (10:35) problem is it's not the same Dave Chang anymore. It's not the same cook. Speaker 2 (10:40) No, let me ask this. Dave Chang 15 years Speaker 3 (10:42) ago would have been like, I'm going to make you the best stew ever. This Dave Chang now is like, I don't know. I'm flying with Amazon this week. Can't do it. I don't Speaker 2 (10:50) know Speaker 3 (10:50) if I'm Speaker 2 (10:50) going Speaker 3 (10:50) to have Speaker 2 (10:50) time. He's got a CNN show. Speaker 3 (10:53) Yeah, Speaker 2 (10:53) he's got a CNN thing. I don't know. All over Speaker 3 (10:55) the great Speaker 2 (10:55) nation of ours eating. Speaker 3 (10:57) Stews Speaker 2 (10:57) are Speaker 3 (10:57) one of those things if at a restaurant, if they're like one of our specials tonight is a delicious beef stew. It's like, okay. That sounds wonderful. Thank you. Speaker 2 (11:05) More often you see like seafood stew, like a cioppino or something like, you know, look at all of the shellfish that are in here with like a rich tomato broth. But folks don't say have some beef stew. I've seen shepherd's pie. I've seen chicken pot pie. But those are not stews. Those are, you know, they have a kind of a filling that has sort of a brothy soft that's very nice and nourishing and comforting. But somebody needs to just jump out and say, fuck it. I'm going full stew. Have some stew. One great thing about this. Well, Speaker 3 (11:37) two great things about the stews that you just don't get in other entrees. One are the really soft potatoes. Amazing. The potatoes just kind of, they almost like mashed potatoes, but they're still have a tiny Speaker 2 (11:47) bit of a texture still. Speaker 3 (11:49) And then the big ass carrots that also get soft, I think are my single favorite thing. Speaker 2 (11:54) That's right. Speaker 3 (11:55) I love the big ass carrots. Speaker 2 (11:57) I don't mind a tiny little onion in there either. I don't mind the onion in the stew. I don't mind. I wonder if Dave Chang would Speaker 3 (12:04) make a stew. Nice beef stew? Strong umami? Go ahead. Speaking of cooks, so I was dubious of the Tony movie because it's A24 and my body's just starting to reject the A24 over campaigns for every movie they do. Like, settle down, A24, for real. Speaker 3 (12:24) So I didn't see it in the theater, but I did rent it last week. Okay. And I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. I really loved it. I've been saving it. Speaker 2 (12:33) I wanted to hear from somebody. I really genuinely loved Speaker 3 (12:34) it. I was so impressed by how they did it and the angle they took. And I thought the actors were good. It's probably my favorite movie I've seen in 2026. It's that or Obsession. The Ringer liked it. I think Greenwald and Chris Ryan gave it very high marks. Everybody liked it. I just was, you know, I'm always a little dubious with them because I think they promote stuff. Putting this on my list. It's really, really good. All right. Tony. Adam in DC. Hey, what's up, Adam? You better put on a bulletproof vest for this email. Speaker 3 (13:11) With all the talk about the 49er substation this summer, I can't believe that no one has brought up the fact that the Commander's Practice Facility in Ashburn is surrounded by literally the biggest collection of hyperscale data centers on Earth. They're like robot fortresses, and they're on all sides of the commie practice bubble. In fact, the team already has a contract to sell the land to build more data centers. This place is literally radioactive. The world needs to know. Currently, 14 of our 22 starters are out with injuries. I haven't heard a single word from anyone about the outcomes of spending training camp next to a 100X substation. Can't believe House hasn't brought this up. This man needs to get off the golf course and spend some time out in DMV. Love the show, Adam and DC. Wow, just an attack on House. Speaker 2 (13:58) Calm down. First of all. It's barely the DMV where the Ashburn and all that is too far out. I'm not going all the way out there. And those data centers have been cropping up. I will confess that I am unfamiliar with how many there are in this notion that they're surrounding. I know that there are some in proximity. I've been out there, but I didn't I was unaware of this idea that they're surrounding the practice facility. But maybe it's like Speaker 3 (14:26) the San Francisco thing with less PR. I took Adam's word for it, a complete stranger, and did no Googling whatsoever about Speaker 2 (14:32) it. So I'm just throwing it out there in the universe. I thought you were going to know. No, I don't know. Are there data centers in that Asheville area? There are. There are. Ashburn and there are data centers in that direction. Yes, there definitely are. And they may have been sprouting up. I might be completely unaware of how many there Speaker 3 (14:53) are. By the way, San Speaker 2 (14:53) Francisco is Speaker 3 (14:54) playing incredible. Yeah. Maybe, maybe the substation is now helping them. Maybe it's giving them superpowers. I Speaker 2 (14:59) want them to keep playing well. Well, since that Speaker 3 (15:02) last email was mean to house, this next one is an all timer from Alex Gordon and it's very favorable for house. Oh, good. On October 24th of this year on the BS report, you were discussing how great the Red Sox turnaround was when the great Joe House unleashed this masterpiece, which came out of absolutely nowhere. Quote, yeah, I'd like to invite the Red Sox to eat a fat dick because I bet them consecutive games against the athletics. What was that? Once I finished howling with laughter, it wasn't on the Caleb Wilson come room level, but it was still hilarious. I got to think about a house that inadvertently stumbled upon a great idea for the newest segment of the BS report. He called it BS podcast. The invitation to eat a fat dick segment. Sponsor TBD. Sponsor's going to be tough for this. Each week, you and or the other host could pick a player, team, or fan base that has displeased you. Really, the possibilities are endless. And invite said team player, et cetera, to eat a fat dick. My invited guest to the inaugural Eat a Fat Dick segment on the BS podcast would be Enes Kanter-Freedom. Oh! Maybe House can extend invites or others can vote on who gets the invite. There's a lot of irritating people, fan bases, teams. Just how irritating they are will be earned with an invitation from House to Eat a Fat Dick. Thank you for this attention to this matter. Thank Speaker 2 (16:22) you for your attention to this matter. Speaker 3 (16:24) Wow. Sponsors Speaker 2 (16:25) are Speaker 3 (16:25) going to be tough. I will. I'll talk to Spotify ad sales. Liz Kelly, maybe it'll be good on it. Find Speaker 2 (16:30) somebody that, that sells a food product that is like hot dogs. Close enough. Yeah. That, that sounds great. Like a giant brat. Yeah. We could, we can do this. We can definitely make this. Johnsonville makes some delicious brats. We could find somebody that makes something that's big enough. I Speaker 3 (16:48) would Speaker 2 (16:48) have Speaker 3 (16:48) done this for the Mariners last week, and I'm happy to do it this week too. George Kirby, Anthony Munoz, Josh Naylor. I Speaker 1 (16:55) think Hebrew Speaker 3 (16:55) National sells jumbos. Speaker 2 (16:57) Hebrew National sells jumbos. Yeah. First of all, I'm still stuck on the sponsor. But this is obviously genius. I obviously endorse this. My very first eat a fat dick invitation would indeed go to Baker Mayfield and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. For, I mean, they cost me $21 million. I was going to win $21 million until last week. Sons of bitches. I might have to borrow that from you. See, I think weather Speaker 3 (17:24) and lightning delays and all that stuff played as big of a factor. I still think they were going to win that game. Speaker 2 (17:30) They were going, yeah, they were driving. They Speaker 3 (17:32) were Speaker 2 (17:32) going down the field. They were going right down the field. And then they come back after three hours and it's an overthrow and it's a dirt ball and it's a guy who drops a pass. Come on, man. Speaker 3 (17:43) We'll workshop you to fat dick and I'll get back to you as sponsors. Nate from San Antonio said on a Thursday pod, I couldn't help but notice how the way you talked about the bills was identical to the dialogue about the Knicks last season. Both fired the coach that built the program. Both teams in a conference described as wide open. No one would pick them to win the Super Bowl over the big boys in the West NFC except Max Kellerman. Can they win it all like the Knicks did? Speaker 2 (18:10) The answer is yes. As we sit here today on September the 24th, just in advance, who are they hosting this weekend? They're favored by a full touchdown. They're playing the Chargers. The Chargers, favored by a full touchdown. Speaker 3 (18:24) Well, Speaker 2 (18:24) let me give you Speaker 3 (18:25) this one. That was a 1A email. This is a 1B from Trevor in LA. In 2012, LeBron was in his ninth year in the NBA, had won MVPs, was widely regarded as the best player in the league, had not won a championship, and was coming off his biggest playoff failure. Speaker 3 (18:41) Josh Allen in his ninth year in the NFL. He's won an MVP, driven winning elite level. Why do you regard it as the best player in the league? He's not won a championship coming off one of his biggest playoff failures. We know what LeBron did in 2012. Can Josh do that in 2026? I like that one. Speaker 2 (18:59) I like that one too. Also, the Josh Speaker 3 (19:00) Allen thing makes people mad, which is funny. It's like great for the sports take universe. Some people are like, why Speaker 2 (19:05) are we talking about Josh Allen like this? Speaker 2 (19:09) I think it's ridiculous. We do hold, especially quarterbacks, to what have you done in the playoff standard. That's the standard. We murder Justin Herbert for it. Lamar has been... Speaker 3 (19:22) I feel Speaker 2 (19:22) like we murdered Speaker 3 (19:23) Josh Allen last year. I thought you did, I did, and Sal did, and everyone did a podcast with. He sucked in that playoff game. We gave it to Speaker 2 (19:29) him. He gave it to them. He gave it to them. That play at the end of the half, that was unforgivable. Speaker 2 (19:38) Yes. The only thing I'll observe, I would really like, this thing will pick up steam if Buffalo really handles its business against the Chargers this weekend. The line is kind of rich and you're supposed to take the Chargers in this circumstance, desperate Chargers. And the reminder is they should, the Bills should have lost game one against Houston. Lassiter had the ball in his hands. You know, that would have ended the... the football game. And then they caught Detroit coming off of an overtime game on a short week. Yeah. We have no idea if their defense is any good. Right. That's it. So there's a lot of surprisingly, Speaker 3 (20:14) I do not have the bills Speaker 2 (20:16) chargers game as in my, as a teaser leg. Oh, I don't have in anything. Speaker 3 (20:22) Yeah. And it's more because of some of the stats with the own two teams and desperation. And the fact that I don't know if the bills defense is any good. We have no Speaker 2 (20:32) idea. they certainly can't say it looked good the first two games. Speaker 3 (20:37) Speaking of the Knicks, Andrew from Boston wanted to point out, since you did that mailbag question about New York having great sports karma post-Knicks for the first time in a generation, Aaron Judge got injured with no set return. Jets blew a 10-point lead because their coach didn't understand the overtime rules. Jackson Dart out for the year. Speaker 3 (20:59) It wasn't intentional. I try to obey all karma rules, but it was notable that it wasn't a great week for New York teams after. All Speaker 2 (21:06) those things happened. The high watermark of the season for the Giants was beating Dallas on Sunday Speaker 3 (21:12) night. Ethan from New York weighed in. Dude, the Yankees without Aaron Judge have all the makings for one of the all-time great Ewing theory wins. Best turn in baseball, multi-time MVP. He's going to miss some of the postseason. And he said, best scenario is the Yankees make the World Series in a week LA without him. Then he comes back and they lose to the Dodgers and his Ewing theory status is cemented. Wow. He does fit the, like, listen, the original definition of the Ewing theory is superstar, incredible media hype. Never actually won anything. Team plays better without him. Yankees have really good starters. I like their bullpen. And I think they can generate offense with or without him. The elements are in place. The elements are in place. Speaker 2 (21:56) Last week, Sal and I talked about the masked backup for QBs that you just wouldn't know. Incredible. Amazing. Nathan Wise Speaker 3 (22:04) suggested we call it the masked slinger. Oh. Oh. Speaker 2 (22:10) Yeah. Speaker 3 (22:10) I don't know how we didn't think of that. Great job, Nathan. The cuz would have thought of that last week, but I think he had taken like seven Percocets and wasn't positive where he was because of the kidney stones. Speaker 2 (22:20) Are the kidney stones done? Speaker 3 (22:23) I think Speaker 2 (22:24) they're still going. Oh. Speaker 2 (22:27) I'm sorry to hear it. It's a really tough times for the Cubs. He deserves better. Did you tell him to drink some hot water with lemon? I did. I Speaker 3 (22:36) told him to drink a lot of hot water. What a friend. Jacob H. in rural Washington says, I don't understand Vegas having a much higher valuation for an NBA franchise than Seattle, which is true. The Vegas thing is at like mid nines. Speaker 3 (22:50) allegedly edging toward 10. I just don't believe it. But now everybody thinks they're going to stagger it. Just name the Vegas team first and hope that they can build up the bidding for Seattle with more suitors, but the people that don't get the Vegas team. Speaker 3 (23:04) Jacob points out Seattle has a rabid and loyal fan base that will show out even if the Sonics suck. Look how we show up for the Mariners even though they always break our hearts. Vegas has no good fan base. Opposing fans will take over, blah, blah, blah. And he just doesn't understand how Vegas is more valuable. I've Speaker 2 (23:22) asked around on this and I think it was the same thing that happened Speaker 3 (23:27) with the Seahawks. Speaker 3 (23:29) I think those super rich guys just are looking at convenience as much as anything. And Vegas is really easy for everybody to get to. Whereas Seattle is in the Pacific Northwest and it's three hours beyond anything. And I think it's a convenience thing. Speaker 2 (23:45) Does that make sense? For sure. There's also unquestionably. All of the collateral revenue streams that are just... That come with Vegas. That come with Vegas. You build the Speaker 3 (23:57) arena, 365 days, basically. Yes, exactly Speaker 2 (24:00) right. Speaker 3 (24:01) It's those two things. But I do think the convenience thing is a big piece of it too. Boy, conspiracy bill was summoned by MC from North Attleboro. Speaker 3 (24:11) He said he's always been fascinated by Tom Brady in retirement. Beside all the weird personal life stuff, no comment. I love Tom Brady. I can't get over his arrangements with the NFL and Fox. He becomes a part-time owner in a team that he has no connection to, and we're still not sure how he paid for it. Becomes a top color commentary guy for the network covering games for teams in the largest media markets, and seemingly circumvents all existing rules the league had to prevent those dueling arrangements. My question for Conspiracy Bill, Did the NFL do this for Brady as a makeup for Deflategate? Seems like you think the answer to that is yes. Conspiracy Bill is levitating like the Niners put an electro substation next to my podcast right now. What a great theory. They also made Speaker 2 (25:02) it up to Kraft, didn't they? Speaker 3 (25:05) How'd they make it up to Kraft? Speaker 2 (25:06) Isn't he in some kind of... Speaker 3 (25:08) I hesitate to Speaker 2 (25:08) ask. Isn't he in the Hall of Fame? Speaker 3 (25:12) Did he Speaker 2 (25:12) get in? I thought he didn't Speaker 3 (25:13) get in. Speaker 2 (25:14) Oh, well, whatever. I don't think maybe he's got to get in. Yeah. At some point. Um, Speaker 3 (25:19) I really liked this deflate gate idea because it's still like, if you actually go back and sift through the facts of that whole thing, that was one of the all time rail roadings. And it's amazing. He didn't sue the league and probably could have and gotten away with it. Oh, Speaker 2 (25:33) come on. The fucking. Patriots have been cheating for decades. We just hear story after story about this cheating, after that cheating, after this cheating. And so the league steps in on one element of it and punishes. And it was a very gentle punishment. I mean, let's be honest. For the serial cheating? Speaker 1 (25:53) Who Speaker 3 (25:54) gives a shit about the evidence? Speaker 2 (25:55) It doesn't matter. The league gets to make up the rules. They clearly did. There was plenty of evidence of cheating for two decades. I'll fully admit, maybe they did some Speaker 3 (26:05) other stuff. Yeah, they did. They sure did. But Speaker 2 (26:08) in Speaker 3 (26:08) this case, I don't think he did it. I think he liked the balls a little lighter. Speaker 2 (26:11) Doesn't matter. You like the balls a little lighter. You like the balls lighter. Suck up that one. How about that? That's the Edith Van Dyck this week. Speaker 3 (26:25) With the Manning cast, this is from Emery from Columbus, Ohio. I'm nervous. This is really good. The Manning cast struggling. Yeah. Jason Kelsey appearing in roughly every third commercial. Travis Kelsey continuing to absorb the gravitational pull of Taylor Swift's fame. Speaker 1 (26:40) It Speaker 3 (26:40) has to be asked. Have the Kelsey brothers market corrected the Manning brothers? At what point? Would this be a full undeniable market correction? He suggests Travis stars in a movie with Tom Cruise. I'm going to say no. Jason Kelsey runs for president. Donna Kelsey gets her own cooking show. The brothers launched a drama on Peacock called Kelsey. He goes on and on. I think Speaker 2 (27:07) it's already happened. You beat me to it. We're there. There's no question. They're way beyond. Travis Kelsey is married to Taylor fucking Swift. She is a world. wide phenomena. That, look at that. Respectfully. I'm a fan of the Mannings in general. I've enjoyed the Manning cast in the past. Not right now, but in the past. And they're not in the same category. The Kelseys are next level. Speaker 3 (27:35) Really tough to hold off the Kelseys, especially when they're doing the Sunday ticket ad with Jason Kelsey and his wife, who also somehow has a podcast. Yeah, I think it's already happened. I Speaker 2 (27:45) see that ad. I'm not telling you right now. Every time I see it, I'm like, oh, where's my invitation? I want to go to that. I want Speaker 3 (27:52) to go see it. Well, because they have food. Speaker 2 (27:53) Yeah, it looks great. It's a great spread. I think they're doing a great job with that fake hosting a party concept. Speaker 3 (28:01) Mike from Farmingville once knows Miles Garrett, the greatest ever NFL good stats, bad team player. Speaker 2 (28:07) Oh, wow. And Speaker 3 (28:09) he says he's never played a meaningful game in the NFL. That's not true. He has played in a playoff game. They even won a playoff game. He's played in three playoff games. But he said every other all-time great defensive player, Reggie White, Lawrence Taylor, Deion Sanders, name it, led teams to championships. He spent his career compiling great stats in games that didn't matter. Speaker 2 (28:26) Now Speaker 3 (28:26) he goes ring chasing with the Rams who already won a championship. Speaker 2 (28:29) I'm going to say names that feel disrespectful. What was the most important game LaDainian Tomlinson ever played in? I'm not suggesting. I don't want to be disrespectful to Danny and Tom. He was Speaker 3 (28:41) in the playoffs a few times. Yeah. Speaker 2 (28:44) I Speaker 3 (28:44) mean, Miles Garrett Speaker 2 (28:45) was in the playoffs. Speaker 3 (28:47) I just don't think football is like basketball except for quarterbacks. It's Speaker 2 (28:50) too hard. Yeah. Speaker 3 (28:51) You could be the greatest defensive end of all time. And if your offense sucks and your coach sucks, it's not going to matter. And he's now in the position where on the Rams with a really good team if he's healthy. we'll see how he can affect everything. Reggie went to the Packers and that was the last piece of his career and all that stuff and they ended up winning. It Speaker 2 (29:11) feels like there should be a quarterback in this category. That's how I felt. You're not going to find anybody that rivals the all-time great status that Garrett has rightfully kind of earned. We can't think of any quarterbacks like Dan Marino. But Dan Marino did play in a Super Bowl. Speaker 3 (29:30) All the people who follow this shit say that the stuff Miles Garrett has been doing for the last eight, nine years is out of control and just double teamed all the time. Teams running away on the other side of him. And I don't think it's fair. Like the Patriots had a couple of great football players when I was younger. Like Andre Tippett was incredible. And we really only had one awesome season with him where he was at the forefront and they won the three straight playoff games in a row and went to the Super Bowl. But he was awesome. And nobody outside of New England barely even knew who he was. Because our team always said. Speaker 2 (30:04) Yeah, somebody will listen to this and have a good answer and send it to you. And then we'll have some good, you know. It's an interesting question. I just, I think my instinct is the same as yours, which is can't really do that to football players, can we? No, I will say. Speaker 3 (30:20) Maybe Speaker 2 (30:20) there's something we're not thinking of. Speaker 3 (30:21) If we're talking about best defensive players in our lifetime. Speaker 2 (30:24) It's LT and then everybody else for me. That's a fact. I Speaker 3 (30:28) actually think LT, his teams would have won no matter who the fuck was on it. He just would have figured it out. Speaker 2 (30:35) I've never seen anybody like that, dude. Me Speaker 3 (30:37) either. To me, it's him and Jerry Rice are the two that I just feel like are above everyone I've ever seen at their positions by far. All right, we're going to take a break. Come back, do a couple more. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by Fandle. Here's something to look forward to between kickoffs this Sunday. With Sunday Spectacular, Fandle Rewards Club members can unlock exclusive rewards throughout the day with offers tailored to their Rewards Club level. Depending on your level, you can unlock things like profit boost, reward boxes, point boost, challenges, choose your reward offers, choose your reward, much more. The best part, new rewards drop. throughout Sunday's game. So there's always something new to discover as the day unfolds. Check out Sunday's Spectacular in the FanDuel app, only on FanDuel Rewards Club. Make this your most rewarding season ever with FanDuel. 21 Speaker 2 (31:29) plus select states are 18 plus DC or Wyoming. 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