27/09/2026

The Archers Omnibus

This episode of The Archers Omnibus captures a whirlwind of emotional extremes within the Ambridge community. It follows the intense, unmedi

Key takeaways

• Amber Gordon undergoes a difficult labor, ultimately delivering a healthy baby boy.
• Anna Tregorran plans a pagan-themed funeral for Carol, potentially involving Wiccan elements.

Main topics

• The birth of Amber and George's son
• Funeral arrangements for Carol

Notable quotes

We've got a boy!

Conclusion

The episode provides a poignant look at the cycle of life, moving from

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Speaker 3 (0:06) What's it like to see an El Nino on the horizon? I'm Tristan Redmond, one of the hosts of the Global Story podcast from the BBC. And on today's show, we speak to a climate scientist who's worked for the US government predicting extreme weather events like this year's El Nino. Of course I'm worried because I know these extremes impact people and you can't not be worried about that. What does he see coming? Search for the Global Story on bbc.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 3 (0:36) You're listening to The Archer's Omnibus from BBC Radio 4. Speaker 2 (0:58) What a swap. No, you're all right. Not getting scared of heights, Grandpa. There's plenty I can reach from down here. And I'll have enough time up that ladder when you've gone. I ain't going nowhere. Not till tea time, anyway. Oh, I thought Amber would want you back soon. Nah, I'll nip off if she calls, like. But she's all right at the moment. You sure about that, George? Well, yeah, OK. She's the size of a tractor. And really hot all the time. Must be dead uncomfortable. She just wants it to happen, though. Especially as she's passed her date. How would you, then? Not really. Anything up to two weeks after, they still reckon is normal. Can't blame her for getting fed up, though. Nope. Speaker 1 (1:43) Are those cider apples? Speaker 2 (1:45) Certainly are. Don't let your dog eat them. Give her a tummy ache, they would. Speaker 1 (1:49) Thanks for the warning. Sit. Good girl, Cleo. Speaker 2 (1:53) Come to get your turkey order in, Stella. My what? Christmas turkey. We can offer you a special early bird discount. Early bird, get it? Speaker 1 (2:02) Honestly, I haven't given Christmas a thought yet, and I don't expect Pip has either. We'll get the wedding out the way first. Speaker 2 (2:08) It's nearly October. I Speaker 1 (2:10) wouldn't say nearly. Speaker 2 (2:11) Christmas will soon be here, won't it, Grandpa? Yeah, I guess. You don't want to miss out. Speaker 1 (2:15) Thanks for the warning, George, but I'll take that risk. Speaker 2 (2:18) Up to you. I Speaker 1 (2:19) love to live dangerously. Speaker 2 (2:21) How about some cider for the wedding, then? Speaker 1 (2:23) It's at Lower Loxley, so you'd have to talk to them. Speaker 2 (2:25) I Speaker 1 (2:25) have drunk your cider, though, and I remember it being pretty good. Speaker 2 (2:29) It is good. Speaker 1 (2:30) If rather strong. Speaker 2 (2:31) Well, that's one of the things that makes it good. Speaker 1 (2:34) So, are these apples going to make your cider? Speaker 2 (2:38) That's right. Speaker 1 (2:39) It's just, I thought this was the community orchard. Speaker 2 (2:42) Oh, it is. It's the same thing as the Grundy orchard. Speaker 1 (2:45) I see. Speaker 2 (2:46) Them that takes part in the must-picking gets a bottle or two of Stanks. But there's some trees we keep back for our specials. Speaker 1 (2:53) Ah, the under-the-counter stuff. Speaker 3 (2:55) There's nothing under-the-counter about it. It's all perfectly Speaker 2 (2:57) legal. Speaker 1 (2:58) Oh, yeah. No, I didn't mean... Sorry. Isn't it awkward for you with that cast on, George? It Speaker 2 (3:04) is a bit fiddly, yeah. But it's coming off on Tuesday. Speaker 1 (3:07) Ah, that'll be good. Speaker 2 (3:08) Can't wait. I Speaker 1 (3:08) bet. Well, I'll leave you to it. Come on, Cleo. Speaker 2 (3:11) See you. Bye. Speaker 1 (3:12) No, they're not for dogs. Speaker 2 (3:14) That's not like you, Grandpa. What's that, lad? Missing a chance to flog a turkey. Oh. Thought we were going to give Stella the old one-two. I cross the ball from the wing, you bang it in the back of the net. She is right, it is a bit early. You OK? Me? Yeah, because now I think about it, you've been pretty quiet since I got here. Is it because of Esme? Esme? No. Getting shot of you like that. No, I mean, the money was useful. Any money Speaker 3 (3:42) always is, but it's a bit daft. Go on. Well, what it is, it was great-grandad Joe's birthday Friday. Was it? 105 it had been. Wow. This tree here. The Borsetra Beauty? He planted it over 60 years ago. Oh, I didn't know that. I still miss him, George. Speaker 1 (4:12) Yeah, Annie just had to take a phone call. She did apologise, but it seemed urgent. Yeah, she's having a bit of trouble with her leave to remain. But she's been here... Well, as long as I can remember. A lot longer than me, for certain. She's trying to track down some original documentation. Ah, I see. It'll be fine, I'm sure. I hope so. Are you in a rush? Well... I can put those through the till for you. Oh, would you, Natasha? No problem. There's just a few things to go with dinner later, but I do need to get back. Pulsator was a bit ropey this morning. In the parlour? I want to clear it before afternoon milking. No-one wants a ropey pulsator. They do not. How's Jill? Er, all right. Only wasn't she good friends with Carol Tregaran? Ah, I see what you mean. Well... Yeah, she was a bit shocked. We all were. What will you be doing with Glee Cottage now? I don't really know. We haven't discussed it. A bit early, I suppose. We'll probably leave it till after the funeral. Then talk to Anna. But you've reminded me. I need to go home via the village shop. I hope they've got some nice condolence cards. And on the other hand, there's George's Amber. About to pop any day. I know it's a cliche, but... The circle of life. But don't worry, I'm not going to break into song. Well, I'm certainly not. And the wedding's not far away now. Yeah. Oh, we're so looking forward to it. But probably not as much as Pip and Stella. At least all you have to do is turn up. Yeah, bet they're in a planning frenzy. Although lower, Loxley. They're on to a winner just having it there. Elizabeth and her team really know what they're doing. Sarah and Innova are so excited. Speaker 1 (5:58) Serenadova. They've never been to a wedding before. Speaker 2 (6:04) Something I remember. When Baz died. It was a long time back. I was so sad. Yeah. He was all worried Speaker 3 (6:14) about you. Speaker 2 (6:16) You loved that dog. But great-grandad Joe got me helping sort Bartleby out for the winter, into his stable and that. Gave me something else to think about. Speaker 3 (6:25) For a miserable curmudgeon, he could be a kind old blighter when he wanted. Speaker 2 (6:29) Yeah. I really miss him too. Speaker 3 (6:33) I know you do, George. And now here's another Grundy just about to arrive. And I think... I've worked so hard all my life. What have I got to pass on to your little one? Nothing. Speaker 1 (6:52) Sorry, didn't realise anyone was in here. Just me. Don't let me stop you, Ruth. No, it's all right. Just need a quick squirt of lubricant for Cleo's lead. Clip's getting a bit stiff. Help yourself. Thanks. Paul's later problems. And I think I know... Speaker 1 (7:11) Yep, there you are. Look, the porch's blocked up. All that grit and muck. Not much air going to get through that. Won't take long to clean. Actually, I'm glad you're here, Stella. There's something I need to ask you. I was at Bridge Farm earlier, saw Natasha. Yeah? We were chatting about the wedding. Didn't you say it was going to be adults only? That's right. They don't seem to have got the memo. What do you mean? They're planning to bring Sarah and Nova. Oh. No, no, that's wrong. It'll have been really clear on the invitation. Will it? Theirs will have just said Tom and Natasha. So it doesn't actually say specifically that kids aren't invited? Well, no, but it's obvious, isn't it? I'm not so sure. They've certainly assumed it meant them all as a family. Don't see how, but thanks for mentioning it. You're welcome. I'll have a word with Natasha. Soon get it sorted. Speaker 2 (8:05) The way you got to think about it, what did your dad pass on to you? Well, a few apple trees and a dodgy hangover cure. But look how much we still love him and remember him. You don't just pass on money and stuff. That's true, George. It's about memories and laughs and that. And that's what you'll pass on to our kid. In 30 years' time, I'll be standing in this orchard... Telling them about all the funny things their great-grandad used to do. Oh, that's a nice thought. And, look, we ain't told no one, so keep it to yourself. But Amber and me, if it's a boy, we're thinking about calling it Joe. Really? Or Josephine, if it's a girl. Keep his memory alive, like, down to the next generation. Oh, George. Oh, you're a good lad. You really are. Speaker 1 (8:59) Sorry about the mess. Oh, you should see my kitchen. And I haven't got any kids to blame it on. Actually, Tom's probably the untidiest of all of us. So? Yeah. Oh, Pip tells me you're developing your own skincare range. Yeah. Bridge Farm Botanicals. Sounds great. All made on the farm? No, it's far too technical. We'd be using a contract manufacturer. Oh, that sounds sensible. My first idea was that they'd include botanical products actually grown on the farm, but the more I learn, the less sure I am about that. I really need some seed corn investment before we can get on with the development and testing. Well, good luck with it. Thank you, Stella. Bet you didn't make a special trip to talk about skin care, did you? No, I actually wanted a word about the wedding. OK. What it is, is it seems there might have been some confusion. Ruth said you were thinking you could bring Sarah and Inova. Thinking? The thing is, the whole day's going to be adults only. That's what your invitation said. No, it didn't. Oh, no, no, I mean it was only addressed to the adults, you and Tom. But it's a family wedding. Well... I get that you might not want random children running around, but surely this isn't the same. Children are children, though. But they're relatives. Yeah, but, you know, they don't have a label on their head saying that. I mean, it could be awkward if people arrive and find kids there when they couldn't bring their own, do you see? Not really. Surely the fairest thing to do is not have any children there, rather than just a few. But Sarah and Anova are really looking forward to it. They've been counting down the days. Well, it's still a while off. I'm sure if you explain, there'd been a misunderstanding. And I've already bought some pretty expensive outfits for them. Oh. Well, maybe they'll come in handy for some future event. Hardly. You know how fast children grow. Oh, yeah. I can see that might be an issue. And if they don't come, who am I going to get to babysit if all the adults in the family are going? Erm... When you say adults only, you're not telling me Rosie won't be there? Well, no. Yes, I mean... She'll be there, of course. And she won't want to be stuck with just grown-ups all day. Surely she'll want someone to play with. Yeah, fair point. And I do understand your other arguments too. So they can come? Just, um, leave it with me for a bit. I'll talk it through with Pip and I'll get back to you. Speaker 1 (11:47) Oh, what? Sorry, I didn't mean to just walk in. Ruth! But the front door was unlocked. Speaker 4 (11:52) How on earth did I do that? I was just Speaker 1 (11:54) dropping this card off and... Speaker 4 (11:56) What time is it? About half-ish. Oh, I'm due in court this morning. Speaker 1 (12:01) I'm sorry. Speaker 4 (12:03) Stupid. You're working today? Yes. In... Rochester? Bristol. Bristol? Crown Court. First day of the trial. I thought I'd set an alarm. Maybe you slept through it. No time for a shower. You're surely not still going in? Of course. But Bristol, it must be two hours' drive away at this time Speaker 1 (12:21) of day. Speaker 4 (12:21) Yeah, very nearly, yes. Pass me that hairbrush. On the table. Yeah, I can do my hair in the car, change at... Caught? Can't you call in sick? I'm not sick. Speaker 1 (12:32) No, but you're very recently bereaved. That's irrelevant. Can't you request compassionate leave or something? It doesn't work that Speaker 4 (12:40) way. Or Speaker 1 (12:40) ask for the trial to be postponed. Speaker 4 (12:42) Bereavement isn't sufficient excuse to request an adjournment, and there's certainly no time to instruct alternative counsel, even if I wanted to, which I don't. Is this the best thing for your client? No. My client has waited 14 months for her case to come to trial. Her suffering vastly outweighs anything I might be going through. I have no intention of adding further delays to that poor woman's burden. Speaker 5 (13:10) I don't want any toast. Thanks, Mum. Speaker 6 (13:11) It's OK. This is for your grandad. Speaker 5 (13:14) I thought you'd already done him some. Speaker 6 (13:16) Not brown enough. Speaker 5 (13:17) What? He hasn't been back two minutes. I Speaker 6 (13:19) know. Speaker 5 (13:19) And he's already complaining? Speaker 6 (13:21) Yeah. It's like he's never been away, innit? Speaker 5 (13:23) Well, I can take it through to him if you like. No, Speaker 6 (13:25) it's all right, Brad. I've got a few minutes before I need to leave for work. Speaker 5 (13:29) Everything all right there? Speaker 6 (13:30) Yeah, great. Starting to get busy on the cheese now. Speaker 5 (13:34) Yeah? Speaker 6 (13:35) Ready for the Christmas rush. Speaker 5 (13:37) She's a big thing at Christmas, is it? Speaker 6 (13:39) Oh, yeah. Probably our best time of year, Helen says. Speaker 5 (13:42) Well, she should know. Speaker 6 (13:44) She's always got something useful to say, as Helen. Can't always say the same thing about her sister-in-law. Speaker 5 (13:50) Um... Speaker 6 (13:50) Natasha. Speaker 5 (13:51) Ah, yeah. She Speaker 6 (13:52) got me in a corner last week, banging on about the adorable little dresses she bought for the twins. Sorry, Sarah Ninova. Speaker 5 (13:59) Dresses? Speaker 6 (14:00) For Pip and Stella's wedding. Showed me them on her phone. Front, back. Why she thought I'd be interested, I couldn't tell you. Anyway, works fine, yeah. Speaker 5 (14:10) Good. Speaker 6 (14:10) How about you? Getting excited? Speaker 5 (14:13) What about? Speaker 6 (14:14) Term starting. Speaker 5 (14:16) Oh, that. Speaker 6 (14:17) And you're looking forward to it? Is it because it's the final year? Speaker 5 (14:21) No, no, it's not that. I mean, yeah, this is the big one, but... You know, it's just getting to uni. Speaker 6 (14:28) Bus Speaker 5 (14:29) company have changed the timetable again. Speaker 6 (14:31) Oh, I didn't realise. Speaker 5 (14:33) So, if I had a lecture first thing, I used to get the 0737, which got to Feldbusham 0833. But now, they've moved it to 0754, which doesn't get in until 0851. OK. So by the time I've walked from the bus station, I'm always going to be late. Speaker 6 (14:48) And Speaker 5 (14:49) that's if the buses run on time, which they don't always do. But if Speaker 6 (14:52) you explain... Speaker 5 (14:53) I don't like being late, though, Mum. You start the lecture in a jumble. Speaker 6 (14:57) No, I get that. Speaker 5 (14:58) I like to take time. Get settled. Speaker 6 (15:00) Yeah. Speaker 5 (15:01) So I've decided I want to start driving lessons. Speaker 6 (15:04) Driving lessons? They're so expensive, though. I Speaker 5 (15:08) know that. So, can you insure me for your car? Speaker 6 (15:12) What? Speaker 5 (15:12) And teach me yourself? This Speaker 6 (15:14) is all a bit sudden, Brad. Speaker 5 (15:16) Yeah, I know. I wish I'd known about it a few months ago. I could have had my licence by now. Speaker 6 (15:20) Well, yeah, maybe. But even if... Once you Speaker 5 (15:24) pass, how are you going to afford a car? Well, I wouldn't need one every day. I was hoping when I did, I could use yours. And maybe you could use the Riley. Jazza would have to get it running again first. Or maybe I could do some sort of deal with Chelsea and hers. Don't worry about the insurance. I'll pay whatever the extra is. I've got some savings from all the hours I did at Grey Gables over the holidays. No, no, it's not the money. We can probably get cover for a limited period, can we? Like you did with Chelsea. Speaker 6 (15:52) Chelsea? Yeah. Speaker 5 (15:53) So, as soon as we get that sorted, can you take me out? Speaker 6 (15:57) I Speaker 5 (15:57) suppose so. Like today? No, Speaker 6 (16:00) I've got work. Speaker 5 (16:00) After that? Speaker 6 (16:01) I'm doing a shift at the ball tonight. Speaker 5 (16:03) OK. And Speaker 6 (16:04) I don't want to mess them about with all this Harrison Lily rumpus. It's still a bit eggshells there at the moment. So, tomorrow then? Let's get the insurance sorted Speaker 5 (16:14) first, eh? OK. I'll crack on with that right away. Where do you keep the policy details, or is it all online? Speaker 4 (16:24) I really don't think this is a good idea. Please don't interfere, Ruth. I'm glad you woke me when you did, but let that be an end to it. But if you don't perform well in court because of all the pressure... I'm a barrister. Pressure is part of the job. Speaker 1 (16:37) But it might not be good for your client, Anna, or your career. Well, Speaker 4 (16:41) I think I'm the best judge of both of those things, thank you. Mind? Speaker 1 (16:46) At least try to drive carefully. Speaker 6 (16:57) My husband's been run over. Is that you then? And by our own vintage car at that. The Riley's a classic car. Vintage means made before 1930. Well, whatever you call it. Got it working again? No, exactly. Because it's been quite a few weeks now. You don't have to tell me, Trace. And you know what parking's like round here. I hear it often enough with the neighbours. This close was never made for every house to have a car. Or two or three. Speaker 6 (17:26) You didn't look happy, Jazzer. No. What's up? I think it's finally beaten me. What do you mean? Well, you know I've done my best with it. Kept the grand old bus rolling as long as I could. Of course I do. But it's just too far gone. Too far gone how? The fuel system's shot to hell. These old engines don't play nice with modern petrol. Yeah, I remember you saying. The tank's starting to sag now. The petrol tank? That doesn't sound good. It's not just that. The front suspension needs a full rebuild. And the electrics are shonky. Oh, dear. It's time for a specialist to take it on. Somebody with a proper garage. So they can strip the whole thing down. That sounds expensive. It's going to take a lot of dough and time. It's already cost us a fair bit in maintenance and patching it up. Can we afford a full rebuild? You're no getting me. I mean, it's time to sell it. Sell it? To a proper enthusiast. Somebody who'll take it on as a project. We can't do that to Jim. We're not doing anything to Jim. He was dead clear. They said the Riley was yours to do exactly what we wanted. We could have sold it straight away and got ourselves a pair of solid gold trainers. What would we do with a pair of solid gold trainers? I mean, it's a