How Do I Build A Business If My Family Is Against It?
The $100 MBA Show
Omar and Nicole address listener Conor's question about building a business when family members are unsupportive, exploring the psychological roots of familial resistance such as fear of change and subconscious discomfort with shifting social
Key takeaways
- Omar left a stable head-of-department teaching role at age 25 to pursue entrepreneurship without prior business experience, highlighting how irrational such leaps often appear to outsiders.
- Nicole recalls a close friend advising her to take a waitressing job in New York during early financial struggles, illustrating how fear of failure drives unsupportive advice from loved ones.
Main topics
- Family resistance to entrepreneurship
- Psychological drivers of unsupportive advice
Notable quotes
"The people you love the most are most often the people that will talk you out of your best ideas."
Conclusion
The episode delivers a pragmatic roadmap for navigating familial skepticism by combining
Transcript preview
Speaker 1 (0:00) The people you love the most are most often the people that will talk you out of your best ideas. This leads me to today's Q &A Wednesday's question from Connor. How do I build a business if my family is against it? This is a big one because I think Nicole and I both experienced this at some level when we left our jobs and became full-time entrepreneurs and started our career. You're going to ruffle some feathers when you do something different. And I want to start off by saying that When you are doing anything outside the norm, anything outside your character, people are going to feel uncomfortable because they know you in a certain way. They know you as the person that does X, Y, Z. Once you start doing something else, they start to get nervous because they start to have a lot of questions they can't answer in their heads. Speaker 1 (0:52) Welcome back to the $100 MBA show. I'm your host, Omar Zinhome, where I deliver practical business lessons three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to help you start, grow, and scale your business. Speaker 1 (1:05) Hey, if this show has helped you in any way, it would be amazing if you dropped us a quick review on whatever app you're using right now to listen to this podcast. It helps me and my team bring you new episodes every week. And more importantly, more entrepreneurs will be able to discover the podcast so you can help someone else start their journey. So, Nicole, what are your thoughts initially when you heard this question? Speaker 2 (1:27) It's a tough one. I understand the struggle because the expectation is that our family supports us unconditionally, loves us unconditionally. I know that's not always the case, but when you do something that's unexpected or you're chasing a dream or you're wanting to do something that is maybe a surprise to them and you don't have their support. It's a tough situation to be in. Speaker 1 (1:54) Yeah. And I do want to say that you have to separate the idea from the transition into entrepreneurship or leaving your job or whatever it might be, because some people might feel like, oh, they think my idea stinks and that's why they don't want me to do it. And it's not really about the idea. It's the concept of you risking everything for this idea. I know this firsthand because I was really scared, actually, to tell my own family, my mom, my parents. the people around me that I was leaving my career in education, I was doing very well. I mean, at the age of 25, I was a head of department. I was leading teachers twice my age. I was a high flyer in what I was doing. So for me to leave that position with the idea of being an entrepreneur, being a business owner, something I had no experience in really, other than some side hustles and experiments, it sounds irrational, sounds irresponsible. And I kind of feel for them looking back at it, you know, and. it's kind of hard for me to expect for them to be supportive because I haven't showed them any evidence that I can do what I'm saying I'm about to do. Speaker 2 (2:56) Yeah, and it's hard because you go in at that time, I would imagine, with a lot of excitement. You know, you've got that excitement about this new chapter in your life that you want to embark upon. And then the immediate reaction is not one that you expect or that you hope for. Speaker 1 (3:13) Yeah, I want to dive into... Why people do this? Why do families do this? Why do close ones to you express their rejection or dissatisfaction with your decision to whether it's start a business on the side, go full time, whatever it might be. The first thing I want to address is that some, and I would say probably most people that have family members that are saying, no, this is a bad idea, don't do this, are actually doing it. with love, with a good intention, where they feel like we don't want you to suffer. We don't want you to see you not be able to pay your bills or change your lifestyle or downgrade your lifestyle because of this roll of the dice. Speaker 2 (3:52) Yeah. And I think they don't want to see you struggle. I think the experience that I had, it wasn't so much a family member. It was a very close friend. of mine who, you know, friends that are super close can be like family. And I, and I consider this person like family. When we were struggling in those early days in New York, you know, you share and confide in those struggles in your, in your closest friend. And, you know, I remember her advice being, you know, you take a, why don't you take a waitressing job? You know, you've had experience in hospitality. There's so many restaurants in New York, you know, just get something like that so you can pay the bills. And I knew that that came from the fact that I shared that we were struggling financially. And she, I don't know, she, at the worst case, she probably thought, I don't want to see my friend, you know, homeless or something. So there's that real fear that someone feels, you know, and I remember what we decided not to, we decided to push through, but I get where that fear comes from. It's Speaker 1 (4:51) funny that you mentioned that story, because I think the reason why your friend told you to take that waitressing job was not for that reason. And it's actually for reason number two. I think a lot of people that are against your idea or against you taking a risk is because somewhere, even subconsciously, they don't want to see you succeed. Because if you succeed, it means that their excuses for their reasons why they didn't succeed are not valid anymore. Speaker 2 (5:15) That's a big jump. I think there's lots of layers there to jump right to there. I can see what you're saying. And I think it's a subconscious thing. I think a lot of the times when there is that projection that people might have and then it looks like it's coming from a good place, but they are maybe projecting some insecurities. I don't know if it was the case then. Maybe it was. I definitely think it's good in a way to have that lens because you do take other people's advice. People that are close to you, I think that kind of advice or that kind of lens helps you filter their advice. Because if you just accept and think, you know, OK, maybe you're right. Then like if I had if we had decided like, oh, yeah, maybe maybe she's right. Maybe I should just do this part time until we get some traction. I know now in hindsight that would have been the wrong move. I Speaker 1 (6:08) disagree. I actually believe that most people, I would say the majority of people that are your friends. Family is a different story because you're stuck with your family, but your friends, most of them. are happy in the relationship they are with you because of who you are right now. If you start to change and you start to actually outshine them, it feels uncomfortable. And my proof for that is that if you've ever moved up in your career, if you ever change your social status or your financial status in some way in your life, you look around, you don't have the same friends anymore. That didn't happen by accident. It's because you grew apart. And at some point, they just didn't accept the new version of you. Speaker 2 (6:48) Yeah. I think it's probably maybe a more unpleasant or darker side of human nature, for sure. And