Growing Your Career: How to ask for more — and get it | Alex Carter

TED Business

In this episode of TED Business, negotiation trainer Alex Carter shares five transformative lessons for approaching negotiations. She refram

Key takeaways

Alex Carter defines negotiation as 'steering' a relationship rather than a contest of power.
Using the phrase 'tell me' is more effective than closed questions because it uncovers deeper needs and builds trust.

Main topics

Negotiation strategies
Effective communication

Notable quotes

Negotiation is simply steering.

Conclusion

The episode provides actionable psychological tools to approach negoti

Transcript preview

Speaker 6 (0:00) Can real change come from listening? We Speaker 1 (0:02) usually describe political distrust as cities not trusting politicians. But I think it's Speaker 6 (0:09) a Speaker 1 (0:09) different way. We have a political distrust because politicians actually do not trust citizens. Speaker 6 (0:15) That's Ryosuke Takashima, who at 26 became the youngest elected mayor in Japan's history, running the city of Ashia. His answer to that distrust? Stop assuming citizens can't handle it and start designing solutions together. Speaker 1 (0:30) Sometimes citizens think, oh, this is my personal problem or personal issue. So it's a kind of waste of time to speak up. But it's not true. If someone speaks up and others agree with it, that personal issue becomes social issue. Speaker 6 (0:47) Hear TED fellow Ryosuke Takashima's story and full conversation only on TED Talks Daily. Speaker 2 (0:59) Hey listeners, we're dropping another playlist this month. And this one is for anyone who's on the job market right now. Making a career change is never easy. But I think a lot of us are finding it especially hard at this moment because it can feel so impersonal. There are more AI screenings, more trying to connect over Zoom. It's like the human part of the process is slowly getting filtered out. That's where these talks come in. I've picked out a lineup full of tricks and tips to help you stay calm, stay true to yourself, and advocate for what you want and need. The job hunt can be opaque, overwhelming, and anonymizing. So let's shed some light on it together. Speaker 6 (1:45) Can real change come from listening? We Speaker 1 (1:48) usually describe political distrust as citizens not trusting politicians. But Speaker 6 (1:54) I think it's Speaker 1 (1:55) a different way. We have political distrust because politicians actually do not trust citizens. Speaker 6 (2:01) That's Ryosuke Takashima, who at 26 became the youngest elected mayor in Japan's history, running the city of Ashiya. His answer to that distrust? Stop assuming citizens can't handle it and start designing solutions together. Speaker 1 (2:16) Sometimes citizens think, oh, this is my personal problem or personal issue. So it's a kind of waste of time to speak up. But it's not true if someone speaks up and others agree with it. that personal issue become social issue. Speaker 6 (2:33) Hear TED fellow Ryosuke Takashima's story and full conversation only on TED Talks Daily. Speaker 2 (2:48) I have a very clear memory of one of my first negotiations, and it's because I was so nervous. It was my first time doing independent advisory work, and I needed to come up with a pay rate. I asked my friends and other people what they were getting paid to do similar work, and through my cursory research, I came up with a number that I thought was worth my while. I gathered the courage. And in a meeting with the hiring team, I said the number out loud. And then silence. Long, protracted silence. With the gift of hindsight, I recognize that silence is a good sign. If they had said yes right away, then I should have asked for more money. Instead, they said something like, we might be able to adjust our budget to make that work. And make it work they did. During that negotiation, I was a bundle of nerves. I'm glad I saw it through, but sometimes I do wonder, what would have happened if I couldn't stand the uncomfortable silence? What if I didn't have the nerve to ask? Speaker 2 (4:00) I'm Madhu Pakinola. This is TED Business from the TED Audio Collective. Our speaker today is Alex Carter. She's a negotiation trainer for the United Nations, and she's here to share her expertise with us. After years of experience, she's discovered that curious people, they're often the ones who make more money. Then after the talk, I'll share some strategies for elegantly opening up a conversation. But first. A quick break. And now Alex Carter takes the TED stage. The Speaker 3 (4:38) most important things I know about negotiation, I learned in