Strictly's New Dream Team?

Tales from the Celebrity Trenches

Jamie East and Alice Brine dive into recent celebrity shifts, beginning with Alice's firsthand account of Celine Dion's emotional comeback c

Key takeaways

• Alice Brine highlights Celine Dion's authentic performance style despite her recent health struggles with stiff person syndrome.
• The hosts argue that YouTubers are often ill-equipped for long-form television due to their reliance on rapid editing and self-control.

Main topics

• Celine Dion's Paris comeback
• Big Brother casting controversies

Notable quotes

The authenticity is palpable.

Conclusion

A high-energy exploration of how modern celebrity culture and televisi

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:01) Seriously popular. Speaker 3 (0:06) put in this YouTuber into the house who was going to cause chaos. He was shit. Cracking pair of lungs. Speaker 1 (0:14) Cracking pair of milkers. Speaker 3 (0:16) Incredibly big shoes to fill. Speaker 1 (0:19) Humongous clown shoes. Speaker 3 (0:20) He showed his Keira Knight. Yeah. Doing a bit of that. Speaker 1 (0:24) Also, who is your agent? Speaker 3 (0:26) So Vision Quest is the follow-up to WandaVision. Oh, Speaker 1 (0:30) that's the name of a show. Sorry, Speaker 3 (0:31) I thought Speaker 1 (0:32) you were a nut. I thought you were like, who have sponsored this episode? Speaker 1 (0:39) Let it out. That's someone whacking a tennis racket against the court. Speaker 2 (0:47) Bad Speaker 3 (0:47) girl! Speaker 1 (0:48) Jesus Christ, cut that. Hello, Speaker 3 (0:50) I'm Speaker 1 (0:50) Jamie East. And I'm Alice Brine. Speaker 3 (0:52) And welcome back into the Celebrity Trenches. It's time for your weekly dick splash. Funny enough, last week I did a thing on socials where I called it the weekly dick splash. Dick Speaker 1 (1:01) splash. Speaker 3 (1:02) People are like, do you know you said dick splash there? Speaker 1 (1:04) Love that. Keep rage baiting them. Be like, oh my god, did I? That's crazy. And then just keep doing it. Speaker 3 (1:08) Someone looks like they had a good weekend. Someone's doing well. Speaker 1 (1:14) Yes, if you can see, I'm wearing a Celine Dion hoodie because I went to the Celine Dion concert in Paris. I Speaker 3 (1:21) think your Celine Dion hoodie might trump my Prince Tramp tambourine. I thought you Speaker 1 (1:27) were Speaker 3 (1:27) about to Speaker 1 (1:27) say Prince Tampon and I was like, show me. I was Speaker 3 (1:28) almost saying Prince Trampoline, which would have been even better. Speaker 1 (1:32) But it was a Prince Tampon. Now that's a raspberry beret. Speaker 3 (1:37) Clip it. Clip that, motherfucker. It Speaker 1 (1:39) was Speaker 3 (1:39) good. Speaker 1 (1:40) But yeah, I went to Celine Dion and it was just fucking phenomenal. I had Speaker 3 (1:43) no idea this was like on the card. Speaker 1 (1:45) No, because I didn't know. I wasn't telling anybody that I was going because it was all a bit under wraps. Speaker 3 (1:49) But I meant like Celine, like this is her big comeback. Yeah. And Speaker 1 (1:53) she's been all over. So every after each concert, she goes back to her hotel and takes her shoes off and just. sings with no microphone and dances with the fans outside the hotel gate and is the most phenomenal thing. Speaker 3 (2:05) Because what does she have? Stiff body syndrome. I can't remember Speaker 1 (2:08) what it's called. I've had that Speaker 3 (2:09) quite a few times. She had something like locked stiff bodies. It's called like locked in syndrome or like stiff Speaker 1 (2:14) man syndrome. But I watched a documentary and it's like really fucking horribly tragic. She's only 58. So to see her come back and be like, I can walk again is you can, without sounding like a douchebag. Speaker 3 (2:25) The Speaker 1 (2:26) authenticity is palpable. Wow. Speaker 3 (2:29) And people are here for it. I feel like when she first came in, everyone thought Celine Dion was a little, I'm going to say it, a little bit shit and a little bit cheesy, but she's Speaker 1 (2:40) now been Speaker 3 (2:41) reborn as this ultra camp. Super Speaker 1 (2:43) camp. She's so kooky. Now Speaker 3 (2:45) that Dolly's gone, we've got Celine, right? Yeah, but Speaker 1 (2:48) she doesn't care what, she genuinely doesn't, she doesn't perform for like. She doesn't perform for a male gay. She doesn't perform for like a sexualized gay. She doesn't perform for a brand. She performs for herself and like her music. You say Speaker 3 (3:02) that, but I've seen a clip of her thrusting her pussy like into the camera quite rapidly. Speaker 1 (3:07) Yeah, but Speaker 3 (3:07) it's like Speaker 1 (3:07) not in a hot way. It's like in a funny as. No, Speaker 3 (3:09) I'd agree with that. Speaker 1 (3:10) And she's like holding a guitar going like, she's just amazing. And she performs and she goes like this. Whenever there's a good song. Have Speaker 3 (3:16) you ever seen. Like before social media was social media, have you ever seen the clip of Celine Dion dressed as Michael Jackson performing bad? Speaker 1 (3:25) No, but I bet you it's phenomenal. Speaker 3 (3:27) It's so shit. It's wonderful. Speaker 1 (3:29) No, I bet you it's amazing. But yeah, I immediately started sobbing as soon as she started performing. Speaker 3 (3:32) Amazing. She's Speaker 1 (3:33) so good. And the show is about 60 % in French. So that's, I obviously I'm fluent in French. So that was amazing for me. Excusez-moi. Speaker 1 (3:42) To mange un orange. Speaker 3 (3:44) Où est la sange à l'alembo? Speaker 1 (3:46) Un chat, un chien. You Speaker 3 (3:48) chat on the cat? Speaker 1 (3:49) Yeah, there's a cat and a dog and I ate an orange. So obviously I was just like keeping up with the fluent French. But no, it was really, really amazing. And the art direction and the set. Yeah, yeah. I saw Speaker 3 (3:59) a bit about the set where everyone was just like, how the hell? Because it looks like solid like cliffs. Beautiful. They're inflatable. Speaker 1 (4:05) Yeah. And I heard that too, but it's, what is it called? They're not coliseums. What are they called? Those big posts that are like all over Athens. Pillars? Yeah, basically pillars. What are those Speaker 3 (4:15) pillars called? I swear Speaker 1 (4:16) there's like a more fancy word for it. No, there probably Speaker 3 (4:17) is. Well, the Acropolis. But anyway, Speaker 1 (4:19) they're just these giant pillars and it looks almost like she's in the desert, but there's like a cathedral in the desert when she's performing. So when you see it on screen, you kind of get a whole extra experience to what you're seeing looking down birds eye view. But it just, honestly, she's just. She's Speaker 3 (4:32) an Speaker 1 (4:32) amazing singer. She's changed the key on a couple of her songs because she's a Speaker 3 (4:36) little Speaker 1 (4:36) bit low. Hey, they all Speaker 3 (4:38) do that. When you get to 50, you can't hit the notes before. Bono's singing like Speaker 1 (4:43) he's in Speaker 3 (4:44) Slipknot. Exactly. Speaker 1 (4:46) No, it was amazing. And it's impossible to get tickets, but if you can, go. Speaker 3 (4:50) Sounds like you've been Celine Donne. Speaker 1 (4:52) I literally got Celine Donne-ed over myself. And I bought this hoodie for 105 euros. Speaker 3 (4:59) Wow, that's about 96. English pounds. He Speaker 1 (5:01) got a 105-year-old hoodie. But it has the dates on the back, and they're in French. Wow. Also, without bragging, got the tickets for free. So. Speaker 3 (5:11) Did you say without bragging? Because it sounded very much like. But I did it Speaker 1 (5:14) shy like that. Speaker 3 (5:15) Right. So I Speaker 1 (5:16) got rid of the bragging. Speaker 3 (5:17) That's Speaker 1 (5:17) all Speaker 3 (5:17) right. I've not paid for a concert ticket since 2003. Exactly. Look who I'm fucking talking to, mate. Let's be bloody honest here. So Speaker 1 (5:23) yeah, that was my weekend. Speaker 3 (5:24) Good weekend. Good weekend. I did nothing but sat in front of the television. Because there's a lot. What has been going on? Loads. Well, I think we're going to call this almost like a bit of a TV special. Because we want to, in a bit, we're going to talk about all the amazing stuff that's coming up. Because there are things that are coming over the next like two weeks that we're all going to be talking about. We're all going to be watching. But I feel like we need to revisit Big Brother. Speaker 1 (5:47) Yes. Speaker 3 (5:48) Right. So we talked a little bit about the Big Brother launch last week. But I want to say they've nailed it. I did that kind of like chat about all the different housemates off the launch night. But drama has unfolded and I am here for it. The housemates are deliciously cunty. Speaker 1 (6:06) Yeah, it's old school casting. Speaker 3 (6:09) I've got a couple of thoughts, right? Last night, so we record this on a Monday, it goes out on a Wednesday, so forgive if we're slightly out of sync with what's going on and if a bomb's dropped on the Tuesday, we'll just be talking about it as if it's not happened. They put Jedward in the house. We saw that last night. And I think people are not happy about it. Speaker 1 (6:32) Why? Well, Speaker 3 (6:33) because in Big Brother land, celebrity and civilian, like never the twain shall meet, right? It's like celebrity Big Brother has its lane. Civilian Big Brother has its lane. They both serve very different purposes. Yeah, Speaker 1 (6:49) I've missed this episode. I was watching a bunch. So did they bring Jedward in as like... Living there kind of. Speaker 3 (6:54) Well, kind of as like guest appearances. And I think there's going to be a few dotted throughout. And the two don't really work. Speaker 1 (7:01) No. And Speaker 3 (7:02) it's like seeing someone really famous in a different show. You go, oh, you do your Leo thing. I recognize them from the thing. Not the meme. Speaker 3 (7:12) And the reason I think they've done it, and I don't know, but my guess is that they didn't hold their nerve enough and they planned it. It was like, okay, we've not got a Celebrity Big Brother this year. We've got the civilian one coming up. Let's pepper a few celebrities in there just to give that celebrity kind of like frisson. And actually, I think in hindsight, if they'd have known. The cast that they had and the drama that's already unfolded after week one that had gone, actually, let's hold the celebs. We don't need it. Let's let it breathe. Let's let it become a thing. Speaker 1 (7:44) That's a really good point. And I get it. Like, you know, when your job's on the line, you've got to make this show a hit. You're like, fuck knows if this cast is going to work. You know what? I'm Speaker 3 (7:52) going Speaker 1 (7:52) to line up Jedward. Yeah. I get it. You Speaker 3 (7:55) parachute them in if it sinks. Speaker 1 (7:58) Yeah, but I'd almost be like, you know what, Jedward, take the paycheck, mate. Don't actually have to show up to work today. Speaker 3 (8:01) They said Jed would bring the Big Brother house on the first year that I did it. Right. So my first night working on Big Brother, Jed would went in the Big Brother house. They had to go in a week early because Bobby Brown was due. The singer Bobby Brown, husband of Whitney, Speaker 1 (8:16) was Speaker 3 (8:16) due to go in the Big Brother house and couldn't for medical reasons. So Jed would got thrown in a week early. They were a living nightmare. Speaker 1 (8:25) Oh, were they? I Speaker 3 (8:26) mean, they're nice guys. Yeah, that's what I feel. The Speaker 1 (8:29) whole Speaker 3 (8:29) shtick. It's very draining as a presenter. Having to work with them is not a lot of fun. But they are nice guys. Speaker 1 (8:37) They're actually nice people. My favorite Jedward thing ever is there's a clip. It's Gemma Collins and the Jedwards. Speaker 3 (8:46) Gemma Collins basically adopted them. Speaker 1 (8:48) Yeah. But there's a documentary that comes out. And I think it's like, who's that guy, the little gray head man who Speaker 3 (8:56) produced? The little gray Louis Walsh? Speaker 1 (8:58) Yeah. He produced Jedward, basically, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's on a documentary talking, I think it was one of those tell-alls about how these music shows got made. And I think he was saying something bad about Jedward and Speaker 3 (9:11) they Speaker 1 (9:12) hadn't had their chance to fight back. So they go. They Speaker 3 (9:15) got stuck in, didn't they? Speaker 1 (9:17) I think they went live or just posted straight on Instagram. But it was Tuesday night. Was that when they Speaker 3 (9:22) were at Gemma Collins' house eating a Sunday lunch? It Speaker 1 (9:25) was Gemma Collins' house, 11.30 p.m. Tuesday. And they're watching like a huge television and they're having Sunday roast and it's just like covered in mash and gravy. And they're like live going, we're all around at Gemma's having our Sunday roast. And we're Speaker 3 (9:41) just Speaker 1 (9:41) watching this now. And you're not going to believe. and what? It's like, okay, cool, that's whatever. 11.30pm Tuesday. I Speaker 3 (9:47) mean, only Gemma Collins would have a Sunday