Paul Whitehouse and Dr. Mine Conkbayir: Love, Laughter and Living Apart

Table for Four

Comedian Paul Whitehouse and Dr. Mine Conkbayir join the Table for Four to share a meal of trout pate and corned beef pie. The pair discusse

Key takeaways

• Paul Whitehouse was born in the Rhondda Valley and moved to Enfield at age four.
• Dr. Mine Conkbayir received an ADHD diagnosis in 2023 after a suggestion from her therapist.

Main topics

• Relationship dynamics
• ADHD diagnosis

Notable quotes

I was born in the Rhondda Valley.

Conclusion

A candid and humorous exploration of how unconventional lifestyle choi

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Sam, we've got Paul Whitehouse and his partner Dr. Minna Chonkbier. They have a podcast together. What are we cooking for them? Speaker 1 (0:08) To begin with, we've got a rainbow trout pate with some rye toast. Rye bread toast. Nice. Rye bread toast? It's rye toast. Because it's not bread anymore. No, it's not Speaker 4 (0:16) bread anymore. Speaker 1 (0:17) Would I eat my own s***? Speaker 2 (0:19) Yes. Speaker 4 (0:20) But Speaker 2 (0:20) not my Speaker 1 (0:21) own. Speaker 2 (0:21) Today's your lucky day, Paul. Speaker 3 (0:22) There's a line I do in Roly Burky. And Speaker 2 (0:24) they Speaker 1 (0:27) made me their king. Speaker 1 (0:29) And then we have got corned beef pie. Lovely. Nice. Speaker 4 (0:34) Oh, yay! The thing is, it's Speaker 5 (0:36) a Speaker 4 (0:36) paedophile's graph, Speaker 3 (0:37) but Speaker 1 (0:37) okay. Speaker 4 (0:39) It's Speaker 5 (0:40) not Speaker 3 (0:40) nailed down, so you'll have it in a way. Shut Speaker 5 (0:41) up, man. He's never done a tattoo in his life. Speaker 1 (0:44) And then we've got a baked custard, which has got lime in it. And then we're going to serve it with a blueberry sauce. Ooh. Speaker 4 (0:52) Sounds Speaker 2 (0:53) delicious. Speaker 1 (0:53) Go away and get on Speaker 2 (0:54) with it. Speaker 1 (0:54) Is Speaker 2 (0:54) the custard Speaker 4 (0:54) runny or set? It's set. Speaker 1 (0:57) It was runny and Speaker 4 (0:58) then Speaker 1 (0:59) it's been baked. Go away and get on with it. Speaker 4 (1:00) Leave the Speaker 2 (1:01) table and get on with it. We're looking Speaker 4 (1:03) forward to it Sam. Go on. Thank you very Speaker 2 (1:06) much. Speaker 4 (1:07) Oh we love Aldi in our house and the specially selected range is great for sprinkling a little bit of luxury into your everyday food shop without blowing the budget. Speaker 2 (1:14) That's right and with specially selected you can enjoy premium food at low Aldi prices and all quality ingredients. If Speaker 4 (1:22) you're looking for Spanish-inspired small plates for a picnic or an Aberdeen Angus ribeye steak for date night, Aldi has specially selected options for every summer occasion. So Speaker 2 (1:33) go on, treat yourself. Get down to Aldi today. Paul Whitehouse and Dr Minna Chonkbayer. Speaker 5 (1:39) Well done-ish. Speaker 2 (1:40) Well done-ish. Yeah. We like that. We were talking earlier though, Minna, Speaker 5 (1:46) that Speaker 2 (1:46) we think that your surname, Chonkbayer, is better pronounced. With a Welsh accent. Speaker 4 (1:53) Chonkbayer. But they were saying, like Welsh, overbayer. And Speaker 2 (1:57) they wanted me to Speaker 4 (1:58) go Speaker 2 (1:58) chonkbayer. Chonkbayer. You often Speaker 3 (1:59) say Speaker 5 (2:00) some Turkish word sound. Welsh in the lilt, don't we? Speaker 3 (2:03) Maybe in the lilt, yeah. Come by here now, then. Come by here now, over here now. Little known fact, Paul, you're from Wales, aren't you? Yeah, I've talked about it quite a lot, actually, I think. I didn't know that Speaker 4 (2:15) you were Welsh. Speaker 3 (2:16) How come you didn't know that? I was born in the Rhondda Valley. Baby smile. I actually won baby smile of the Rhondda Valley. So little known fact around this table. You Speaker 5 (2:23) never Speaker 3 (2:23) told Speaker 5 (2:23) me that, ever. Of course I have, Alice. Oh, my God, that's so sweet. Well, if you ever Speaker 3 (2:27) watched Gone Fishing, you might have noticed. I always watch Gone Fishing. Speaker 5 (2:29) Of Speaker 3 (2:29) course I've told you I've won baby smile. Speaker 5 (2:31) told me that I didn't even know it was a thing what's Speaker 3 (2:33) it Speaker 5 (2:33) called baby Speaker 3 (2:34) smile on the man what's Speaker 4 (2:37) the Speaker 3 (2:37) matter with you know are you tough Speaker 4 (2:38) or something oh my god have you got any evidence or medal or I've Speaker 3 (2:43) got a picture of me with my nan right and I do look quite cute in it but she's like a harridan Speaker 2 (2:48) she's like a real witch so Speaker 3 (2:51) I must have really pulled that smile out of the bag to win Despite the scary nan, you know. Is Speaker 4 (2:57) she wearing a shawl? Or has she got you like in Welsh fashion? No, Speaker 2 (3:00) she's Speaker 3 (3:00) just like that weird glasses. Yeah. Dame Ednery glasses, you Speaker 2 (3:04) know. Speaker 3 (3:04) Oh, Speaker 2 (3:04) my Speaker 3 (3:04) God. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. So, no, I was born in the Rwanda Valley, but we left when I was four. Thank you. And moved to Enfield. Speaker 4 (3:12) Right. Speaker 3 (3:13) I suppose. And I'll say it very quickly. I had a broad Rwanda accent. Yeah. Speaker 1 (3:21) And Speaker 3 (3:22) I went to this school. dodgy little estate in in Enfield and it's pretty rough school I was quite quiet for about five weeks and then I came home one day into my mum's despair I said mum I want to go to South Bend and I'd become a full motley in five weeks. God Speaker 4 (3:40) in five weeks. Speaker 3 (3:45) Listen, speak how they speak, Paul, and you might not get beaten up. Oh, my God, that's Speaker 4 (3:50) incredible. And you should tuck me that, like, amount of time to learn a new accent. You will never lose Speaker 3 (3:54) your accent. My mum never lost her accent. My dad a bit, but my mum never lost her. Very broad. Speaker 4 (3:59) Can I tell you what you're eating? Speaker 3 (4:01) Please. Speaker 4 (4:01) Oh, Sam, if you have to. If you don't Speaker 1 (4:03) mind. Speaker 4 (4:04) Sorry, Speaker 3 (4:04) Sam. Blimey, he's touchy, isn't he? Anyone would think he was a chef. I went through Speaker 1 (4:07) all this effort for us. A hot smoked trout pate. Beautiful. And then you have got some rye toast. Oh, Speaker 2 (4:15) lovely. Nice. You were quite concerned though, weren't you, Sam? Because you said, you know, because of Gone Fishing, because of Paul's show. Yeah, Speaker 1 (4:21) I love Gone Speaker 2 (4:21) Fishing. Whether you Speaker 1 (4:22) were Speaker 3 (4:22) interested, whether you would like eating it. Do you know what? I actually, I think smoked trout is better than smoked salmon. Here we go. There you Speaker 1 (4:30) go. It's better Speaker 3 (4:30) for the environment as well. I agree. Yes. I agree. I mean, I know you, do you want me to get all the sort of fish politics or anything? Yes, Speaker 2 (4:38) please. Speaker 3 (4:38) Yes, Speaker 2 (4:38) yes. Speaker 3 (4:39) You got, I mean, smoke, this is probably farmed, this trout. But farmed trout is, the aquaculture around farmed trout is much better for the environment than salmon farming, which is done in open pens in the sea. because you can control the levels of pollution within a landlocked farm. But in the sea, I mean, they just pour chemicals in everywhere. Massive over-infestation of sea lice. My God, I have no Speaker 4 (5:14) idea. I Speaker 3 (5:15) know. They kind of sell it as a good rural employer as well, but it doesn't actually employ that many people. And so there you are. Anyway, I'll stop banging the gun. But Speaker 2 (5:26) do you Speaker 3 (5:26) think it's Speaker 2 (5:27) a Speaker 3 (5:27) better tasting fish? Yeah, I do. I think trout is better. I think it is as well. So should we try it? Speaker 2 (5:34) It's really nice. Speaker 3 (5:35) It's fantastic. Sam? The taste is extraordinary and the consistency, the texture, brilliant. He's good, isn't he? Hats off to Sam. He's very, very good. Sam, Speaker 4 (5:45) to you. Speaker 2 (5:45) Cheers, Sam. Cheers. Who out of the two of you is the best cook? Speaker 5 (5:53) I do all the Turkish dishes. Why did you grimace? Speaker 3 (5:57) Because I'm not allowed. You've Speaker 5 (5:58) never Speaker 3 (5:58) cooked? Yeah, no, exactly. I'm not allowed anywhere near. You've never Speaker 5 (6:01) cooked in your house either? I've never cooked. You never cook at all. You claim to be a great one at, what's it called? Shepherd's bush, I was going to say. Shepherd's bush, yeah. Never seen that materialise. Okay. Speaker 3 (6:14) I'm just leaving it there. Speaker 4 (6:15) So I'll take that one. It's me. I am the best. Oh, yeah, Speaker 3 (6:18) definitely. Who Speaker 4 (6:19) is the most adventurous eater out of the pair of you? Speaker 4 (6:25) What would you say is the most adventurous thing you've eaten? Speaker 3 (6:28) Well, I did sort of almost try a rotted shark in Iceland. Oh, Speaker 4 (6:33) my God. Speaker 3 (6:34) Yeah, but even I did recall. Speaker 4 (6:37) They're bad when they Speaker 2 (6:38) dig them up, aren't they? They're bad. The smell is so bad. Speaker 4 (6:42) Wait a minute, where do they dig them up from? They bury it, don't they? Speaker 2 (6:45) They wrap it and bury it. for months so it rots and ferments yeah oh my god Speaker 4 (6:49) and then they dig it up and then you just eat it what do you eat it with in iceland it's in there you should do it with Speaker 2 (6:53) whale but Speaker 3 (6:54) they do it with shark yeah and Speaker 4 (6:57) did you try it or no i got Speaker 3 (6:58) as far as the stench and you just go you're joking would i eat my own Speaker 2 (7:06) Yes. But not my... I didn't Speaker 3 (7:11) know that was a section in this podcast. Speaker 4 (7:15) Who chooses which restaurant you both go to? Speaker 3 (7:20) Well... Speaker 4 (7:20) It's a difficult one. Speaker 3 (7:22) It's Speaker 5 (7:22) a Speaker 3 (7:22) difficult one. I'll let you answer that. Speaker 5 (7:25) Well, I don't really eat out, so we don't go to restaurants together, but you go. Speaker 3 (7:29) Yeah, I go with mates or something, you know, but we tend not to eat out. There's one or two places where we don't. Well, my Speaker 5 (7:36) favourite restaurant's closed down, so it makes it a bit difficult. What was that? The Almeida. I'll sit Speaker 3 (7:42) at the Almeida Theatre. It was a great place. Speaker 5 (7:45) I think it Speaker 3 (7:46) was Conrad, wasn't it? Yeah, Speaker 5 (7:47) it Speaker 3 (7:47) was beautiful. Tablecloths, you know, that level. It was great. Who does the washing up then? Speaker 5 (7:52) Me have to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't touch my dishes. Speaker 3 (7:56) Can you paint a little picture in your mind? Yes, what is that picture? I like to wash Speaker 5 (8:03) up. I like to do everything. I'm not sure I want to be Speaker 3 (8:05) there. Speaker 5 (8:06) Well, I'm not. I'm very, what's the word? I'm a great host. But it means I can Speaker 3 (8:11) live a sort of 70s bloke life. Speaker 5 (8:13) Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:14) With my dinner. Speaker 5 (8:15) I am Speaker 2 (8:16) like Speaker 5 (8:16) that. Speaker 2 (8:16) Do the