Summer Lovin' | Reading Reddit Stories

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories

In this summery episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories, hosts Shane, Trevor, and Courtney explore a collection of humorous and heartfelt summ

Key takeaways

• Cruise schedules are non-negotiable—leaving without others is not an act of selfishness but necessary discipline.

Main topics

• Abandoning parents on a Caribbean island
• Wearing a joke bikini from a friend

Notable quotes

"The only way, and it still wouldn't happen, but as if it was like circumstances where they got stuck somewhere."

"It's not a Greyhound bus, so you can't just ask this city on the water to wait for you."

Conclusion

As summer winds down, the hosts reflect on the fleeting nature of time

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Thanks to DoorDash for sponsoring this episode. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. What's up? Welcome to Small Street Threaded Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is summer, which is why we're outside. We're actually outside right now. I know the camera maybe makes it look a little different, but we are outside. We're in our backyard. The backyard of the Smosh headquarters in Oxnard. The Speaker 3 (0:30) camera adds 10 lights. Speaker 2 (0:32) Yeah. We've got our citrus orchard here. Yeah. So these are real oranges and lemons. So yeah, it's pretty sick. Who Speaker 3 (0:43) are you right now? Who are you right now? Speaker 2 (0:44) Look, when you put two beers on me, that's who I am. Not Speaker 1 (0:48) in you, on you. On me. Speaker 2 (0:50) I got two beers on me. But I'm joined by, I've got two beers and I'm joined by two peers. Trevor and Courtney. What's up? It's summer. How do you feel about that? Speaker 3 (1:05) I love summer. I love summertime. Speaker 2 (1:09) You really do. I feel like you both have summer vibes. You were both born in the summer. Born Speaker 3 (1:14) in Speaker 1 (1:14) the Speaker 2 (1:14) summer. Born in summer. July 23rd. June 19th. I was born September 14th. That's not summer still. That's Speaker 3 (1:22) like late, late summer, like first day of school vibes. Speaker 2 (1:25) When does fall technically start? Isn't it like, it's always confused me. Summer Speaker 3 (1:28) still just happened on the 20th? You're in the limbo. So I Speaker 2 (1:30) feel like September doesn't feel like it's summer, but it's also not fully fall yet. You're in the transition period. Just a dumb, stupid time. Yeah, stupid time to be born. Whoa, so I really am at the end of summer. Yeah, you're in like Speaker 3 (1:42) summergatory. Speaker 2 (1:44) Summergatory. Summergatory. Pretty cool. Speaker 2 (1:49) What's your favorite thing to do in summer? Speaker 3 (1:51) Swim and lay in the sun. Speaker 1 (1:56) Lay. What were Speaker 3 (2:03) you going to say, Trevor? Speaker 1 (2:04) I was going to say jack off. Speaker 1 (2:08) I'm sorry. He only allows himself one Speaker 3 (2:11) season a year. Speaker 1 (2:13) I'm sorry, man. The summer of Speaker 3 (2:16) jorking it. Speaker 1 (2:17) Probably hang out with the sun. With the sun? Hang out with the sun. Yeah. Well, summer kind of sucks because it's really hot outside when I play basketball. So I actually hate the summer. Whoa. Whoa, Speaker 3 (2:34) controversial. I'm kidding. I love summer. Speaker 1 (2:37) I mean, it was my birthday, you know? It's like birthday parties growing up as a kid, always fun. Had like one birthday. I got like one of those like inflatable water slides in Speaker 2 (2:47) the backyard. Whoa. So Speaker 1 (2:49) we had like a barbecue and then I was just going down the light base, which was really cool, dude. Probably couldn't do that in September. No. So. Speaker 2 (2:57) No, we definitely did not do that much in Arizona. Speaker 3 (3:00) Just kind of hide. What's happening? It Speaker 1 (3:03) feels like Speaker 2 (3:04) it's dripping on me. Oh, you dripped, yeah. Shit. You just dripped. My Speaker 1 (3:07) beer. I don't Speaker 2 (3:09) want to lose Speaker 1 (3:10) any beer. Speaker 3 (3:11) Where's it spilling? Speaker 1 (3:12) I don't know. It's dripping like out the can. I think maybe like you're leaning back and it might be like. Speaker 2 (3:18) You're Speaker 3 (3:19) being too chill, dude. Speaker 2 (3:19) Yeah, too much of a chill vibe. I'm going to unburden myself of the beer. Unburden yourself. Whoa. Now I can turn my head really fast. I Speaker 3 (3:27) remember when Ian had to wear one of those during his funeral roast. We did it on that Drunk Live show, the Under the Influence. They're Speaker 2 (3:34) not Speaker 3 (3:34) as Speaker 2 (3:34) easy as I thought it was going to be. No, it's heavy. Yeah, it's intense. Speaker 3 (3:38) That's Speaker 2 (3:38) like Speaker 3 (3:38) two Speaker 2 (3:39) pounds. I do need a strap. You Speaker 3 (3:40) need a Speaker 2 (3:40) strap. You need to be strapped Speaker 3 (3:41) in. Speaker 2 (3:41) Maybe like a whole chin strap. Imagine that with two tall boys. And Speaker 3 (3:44) as soon as you start drinking it, it just keeps flowing. So Ian said he had to just keep getting drunker. You Speaker 2 (3:51) have to chug. You Speaker 3 (3:51) have to Speaker 2 (3:51) chug. Sorry. You must. That's the rules. You Speaker 3 (3:54) must. Speaker 2 (3:55) Anyways, let's hop into some summer stories, shall we? Chug. Chug, Speaker 3 (4:00) chug with you. Speaker 2 (4:02) Okay. Sorry. First summer story comes from Am I the Asshole? This was posted last summer, 2025. I know what you did last summer. Whoa, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Am I the asshole for abandoning my parents at an island in the Caribbean so I could get back to our cruise in time? Marooning your parents. That's awesome. That's a new one. All right. I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift, my parents got me a cruise. It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at an all-inclusive resort, but I have always wanted to go on a cruise. I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions, we had to follow the schedule no matter what. Well, it was a week-long cruise, and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off. They missed the departure. By a lot. Like 45 minutes. They got a hold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them. What? I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two could not understand what the schedule was. They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind. I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing. I wish I had never asked for this. They are making me miserable because I left without them. Speaker 3 (5:37) Come on. Speaker 1 (5:39) It's an unforced error. Yeah, Speaker 3 (5:41) truly. Speaker 1 (5:44) What are you going to do? Speaker 3 (5:46) I Speaker 1 (5:46) feel like that's the thing that everybody talks about with cruises. You know it's like you have to show up on time. It will leave without you. Have you Speaker 3 (5:53) been on a cruise? Speaker 1 (5:54) I've not been on a cruise. I do want to go. It sounds like a nightmare. Speaker 3 (5:58) Yeah. Speaker 1 (5:59) It Speaker 3 (5:59) really does sound Speaker 1 (6:00) scary. Speaker 3 (6:00) I Speaker 1 (6:00) do Speaker 3 (6:00) think everyone should consider trying it once. Speaker 1 (6:03) But Speaker 3 (6:03) we had a very special experience of getting to go on like a press cruise where there was less people on it. But like we did go on a cruise and. They were so serious about coming back on time. This isn't a Greyhound bus, so you can't just ask this city on the water to wait for you. Like, that is crazy. The level Speaker 2 (6:22) of entitlement, when you see a cruise ship in person, and you're like, holy shit, this thing is... It is a skyscraper Speaker 3 (6:30) taking a nap. It is big. It Speaker 2 (6:32) is definitely a horror to witness, right? Like there is something eldritch about it. But it's like there's all the pastors. There's also all the crew. There is literally an entire city on there. The entitlement to be like, this thing is going to wait for me. Yeah. Like, nah, man. No, it's not. Speaker 3 (6:53) And it truly, go, go, go. Speaker 1 (6:55) Oh, no, I was just going to say, I definitely do, like, want to go on a cruise at some point in my life, at least once. But, yeah, I don't understand how you can just miss it. Like, I would be so scared. That Speaker 2 (7:06) would Speaker 1 (7:06) be, like, my nightmare of being trapped somewhere and, like, yeah, having to get a flight. Like, that's your ride, man. And Speaker 3 (7:13) not every cruise has other, like. options to port. Like sometimes it's one stop and then they're headed back. So it's like, oh, you're just going to have to fly home. Like, I think OP did everything they could. They were so passionate about wanting this cruise, made sure to tell their parents, like, this is how it works. And then being like, okay, I'm going to go. And then waving OP off, like, and then experiencing the consequences of their actions and blaming their kid is crazy. Being Speaker 2 (7:38) like, why didn't you have the cruise ship wait up for us for 45 minutes? The only way, and it still wouldn't happen, but as if it was like circumstances where they got stuck somewhere. It's like, oh no, we got lost or we got injured or something. For Speaker 1 (7:54) something so low stakes, it's like you're shopping. You're shopping, dude. Like, they're not going to be able to shop at the next place. Yeah, like, oh, oh, too bad. Speaker 3 (8:01) Like, congrats, your 18-year-old is more responsible than you. Exactly. And if the roles were reversed, like, these parents are fully grown adults who have each other. Yes, they were left in a place that was unfamiliar to them. But, like, this kid did the right thing. And, like, getting to the safe place, being on time, the adults can figure it out. Like, come on. Speaker 2 (8:22) They wanted him to pull a Captain Phillips on it. It's like, Koda, you need to become the captain. Like, take it over. Speaker 3 (8:31) Oh my gosh. Speaker 2 (8:32) The verdict is not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole. They seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes? Yeah, no. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep. They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time, which is something you have figured out in less than six months of being an adult. At least you don't have to go on any more vacations with them after this. Someone said, what precisely do they think you could have done? Kidnapped the captain? Staged your own drowning? You didn't abandon them. They abandoned you. Don't let them weasel word this around to being your fault in any way, shape, or form. I'm really sorry your parents have ruined this for you. It's pretty pathetic of them to blame you for their extremely easy to avoid deliberate bad decision. They owe you at least two apologies, one for ignoring your sage advice in the first place, the second for behaving like spoiled four-year-olds. Not the asshole, and I really hope you make your parents read this thread. Speaker 1 (9:20) Ooh! Oh, yeah! Have them watch this episode. Your parents are fucking stupid! Speaker 2 (9:26) Fuck Speaker 3 (9:26) you! Fuck Speaker 2 (9:27) you! Hope Speaker 3 (9:29) you're enjoying your second cruise. Speaker 2 (9:31) Give him $5 right now. If the ship doesn't depart on time, the company faces massive fines and will be delayed to the next port. Oh, yeah. And it's Speaker 1 (9:41) a Speaker 2 (9:41) massive knock on effect. It's all explained when you board and every time you disembark. Yeah, because we went on the one thing, and I do remember them like... Speaker 3 (9:49) It is a tight schedule. Also, yeah, like thinking about the cruise ship doesn't own the port. That is like a city-owned, they have like, you can be at this port for this amount of time. It's like airports. There's a whole, there's a schedule, there's lines and people need to use those ports. And 45 minutes is not like, oh, five minutes for waiting for one last passenger to get on a plane. Like 45 minutes is impossible. Speaker 1 (10:10) And it's not like they can call it out over the loudspeaker. Like, hey, head to gate 13. Like you're just in a... Yeah. Like you're just somewhere in a country. I Speaker 3 (10:20) wonder what they were buying. Like I wonder what was so important that they were Speaker 1 (10:23) like. Speaker 3 (10:23) Also, I Speaker 2 (10:24) don't like hearing that they're like bargaining. I'm like, you guys are probably so intolerable. They're like, Speaker 1 (10:28) hey, Speaker 2 (10:29) give me the color, Speaker 1 (10:29) but I'll give you $4, not five for the colored bracelet. Yeah, Speaker 2 (10:33) yeah. Speaker 2 (10:35) Someone said, not the asshole. Cruise ships have a schedule to keep, and there was no way they would wait for just two passengers without knowing where they were. They might wait if there's a whole bunch of passengers being delayed on an excursion that was organized by the cruise ship company, but that's iffy. Someone said, I've seen them wait under five minutes when they saw a family clearly running to our ship. Speaker 1 (10:53) Everyone cheered for Speaker 2 (10:54) them as they got on, but it was obvious they were running to our ship. The ship was all packed up with just the gangway down, and the crew were yelling and cheering at them too. But Speaker 1 (11:03) otherwise... Speaker 2 (11:04) Otherwise, if the ship says it departs at five o'clock, it is pulling away at 5.01 or 5.02. What if only one of the family members didn't make it? They're like, Speaker 1 (11:13) sorry. Speaker 2 (11:16) And they have to just take him down. The dad throws the kid. Oh my god, take my son! Speaker 1 (11:23) Alligators Speaker 2 (11:24) show up, it's like, Speaker 1 (11:24) yeah, the alligators show up right at 5 Speaker 2 (11:26) .02, we can't stop Speaker 1 (11:28) it. They know. That's why we said to be here Speaker 2 (11:30) at Speaker 1 (11:30) five, because the alligators show up. Like, we're in Hawaii. It's like, I don't make the rules. They flew them in. They dropped the alligators in at that time. Speaker 3 (11:40) I hope OP enjoyed the little time they had without their parents. Speaker 1 (11:44) Oh, Speaker 2 (11:44) that was probably awesome. Speaker 1 (11:45) All Speaker 3 (11:45) the ice cream. Speaker 1 (11:49) He's on the phone like pina colada in hand like, God, yeah, I told you guys. I'm sorry. Speaker 2 (11:55) Anyways, moving on. This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by DoorDash. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash. Order now. I recently had a close friend move across the country and I was absolutely gutted. Of course, I was so excited for them. They had a huge career opportunity, but I was so scared we were going to lose touch. We've all had that friend who just kind of vanishes from our lives because of distance. And I really, really didn't want that to happen to us. So we brainstormed an idea to stay connected. Once a month, we have dinner together. Apart, we pick a different cuisine each month, order similar food through DoorDash, and hang by playing video games or watching a movie. Now, I'm confident we'll stay as close as ever. It has been so much fun, and they don't feel far away anymore. This month is Italian night. I'm planning on ordering rigatoni with red sauce and meatballs from my favorite Italian restaurant in LA. Maybe I'll splurge and add a tiramisu. DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Needed that? Delivered. DoorDash, order now. Speaker 1 (13:00) Back to the show. Speaker 2 (13:01) Next story comes from Am I the Asshole? Posted September 22nd of 2019, the last day of summer. Speaker 1 (13:08) Wow. The last day of summer. Last day of summer. 2019. What a year. That's like the last good summer. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of true. Speaker 2 (13:18) Am I the asshole for wearing the joke bikini my friend got me? Oh no, I know the bikini. I already Speaker 1 (13:24) know. Speaker 2 (13:25) I don't know, probably not. Can I say it now? What do you think it is? Speaker 3 (13:28) It's the hairy chest and hairy happy trail bikini. That's awesome. Do you know where it's like a man hairy? Yeah. But it's Speaker 2 (13:35) a bikini? Dude. Okay. Speaker 3 (13:40) Sorry, very funny. Very funny. Okay, bye. Speaker 2 (13:44) So it was my birthday a couple months ago. Had a party, got some gifts. My friend Mandy got me a super cute bikini. I liked it, said thanks. She had ripped the tags off, but whatever. Anyway, went to the community pool with my roommate, wore the bikini, got in the water. Roommate immediately is like, um, girl, I look and see that this bikini is now kind of see-through. Ha ha, good joke, Mandy. Anyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her boyfriend and a few others. Most leave and we're still hanging out. I'm like, hey, what if we go get in your hot tub? I go change after them and meet her boyfriend in the hot tub while she's getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he's looking at my chest. Speaker 1 (14:29) I Speaker 2 (14:29) pretend I don't notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few minutes after and just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. Is that the one I bought? Yeah, I love it. I wear it everywhere. Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, et cetera. And she's just like, oh, we're in the tub for 20 to 30 minutes. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like, I'm sorry, I thought you'd notice, but it goes kind of see-through. I'm like, yeah, I know. Why'd you buy me a fucking see-through bathing suit? She's like, it's a joke. Wait, you knew? So you just spent the last 30 minutes flashing my boyfriend on purpose? I reply, I'm just wearing my birthday gift from her. Anyway, am I the asshole? Oh Speaker 1 (15:16) my God. That's really funny and like, you know, kind of like. Petty, I guess, but, like, not the asshole. No. Speaker 3 (15:23) Like, Speaker