Becoming Bobby Flay

Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

In this heartfelt episode of Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad, the hosts celebrate their third engagement anniversary with emotional

Key takeaways

• Emotional resilience during fertility challenges is deeply influenced by partner support and perspective.

Main topics

• Engagement anniversary celebration
• TTC (trying to conceive) journey

Notable quotes

"The romance isn't the proposal scene. It's every day with you still choosing to be my person in between."

Conclusion

The episode closes on a note of love, gratitude, and resilience, highlight

Transcript preview

Speaker 5 (0:00) This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Speaker 7 (0:04) In February of 2024, celebrated illustrator and children's book author Petra Mathers and her husband Michael mailed letters to dozens of friends and family members to let them know they had died by suicide. Dear honeys, this is goodbye. By the time you get this letter, both Petra and I will be dead. Next stop, Wonderland. Why did they do it? And what did it do to the people they left behind? Listen to Death of an Artist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 6 (0:35) Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Adria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you. A hundred percent of women go Speaker 8 (0:52) through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it? Speaker 6 (0:56) Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynter on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 5 (1:04) Is there an epidemic against literature? More specifically, Black literature. I'm Jacquees Peace Thomas, and on this season of the Black Lit Podcast, we're outside asking why. They don't want a whole bunch of little Ella Bakers, Malcolm Xs, and Martin Luther Kings running around. And when you look at a lot of different cultures, they're like, we need to know where you came from. And considering this is Black Reading Month, the only real question is, what are you reading next? Listen to Black Lit from the Black Effect Podcast Network on our iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 3 (1:37) What up? This is Jay Valentine, co-host of the R &B Money Podcast alongside my brother, R &B legend Tank. Together, we've built a space for artists, executives, and fans of R &B music. to reminisce and tell the real stories behind the music. I Speaker 1 (1:49) have no money. I was hood famous. Speaker 3 (1:51) They think you're going to get everybody out. Speaker 1 (1:52) We lived in a project. Real love came out. They're hearing the music and we had nothing. From Speaker 3 (1:57) Smokey Robinson to Mary J. Blige, B2K to Jill Scott, if you're a super dedicated R &B fan, this is where you belong. Listen to R &B Money from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Speaker 1 (2:11) Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Radd, an iHeartRadio and two-time People's Choice Award winning podcast. Everybody, Speaker 4 (2:23) we are scrubbing in and it is Thursday, September 10th, a very... Happy Speaker 2 (2:31) engagement anniversary. That Speaker 4 (2:35) is the voice of my wonderful, loving husband who is scrubbing in this week. Speaker 2 (2:40) Oh, I'll never forget this day. Speaker 4 (2:43) a very big day. No, I will Speaker 2 (2:45) never forget this day. It was an amazing day. Actually, one of my favorite days. Ever. Speaker 4 (2:48) Yeah, Speaker 2 (2:49) the feeling, I agree. It really is an amazing Speaker 4 (2:51) day. Speaker 2 (2:51) Yeah, Speaker 4 (2:51) you Speaker 2 (2:51) just wanted Speaker 4 (2:52) to like brush over it. Speaker 2 (2:53) I don't want to brush over it, but like, no, I'm down, 100 % down with acknowledging it. It was one of the most amazing days. I'll never forget the feeling of just like the day leading up to it, the prep, but then also like there was a really special feeling that like cloud nine feeling like right after and like. for a while after that. It was different than when we got married. It was like kind of Speaker 4 (3:18) the Speaker 2 (3:18) first time we had that feeling. Speaker 4 (3:21) And Speaker 2 (3:22) yeah, so I'll never forget it. Speaker 4 (3:25) In the spirit of our engagement anniversary, in case you were listening and you do not know, we got engaged September 10th, 2023. So it's been three years. Speaker 2 (3:34) You know what didn't even occur to us? Speaker 4 (3:37) What? Speaker 2 (3:38) That our wedding engagement photographer. Speaker 2 (3:44) Was it the photographer at the movie that we went to the other night? Yeah. But what are the chances of that? Speaker 4 (3:49) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Speaker 2 (3:52) I'm saying like two days before. We hadn't seen him in however many years. Yeah. Speaker 4 (3:57) Yeah. And he was a photographer at this movie screening that we went to, which is so random. Speaker 2 (4:03) So that's something. So Speaker 4 (4:05) I have a poem that I wrote for you. Oh, Speaker 2 (4:08) me too. You do? Let's hear yours first. Speaker 4 (4:12) Okay. Don't touch your phone. It's called Best Decision Ever, Rom-Com Edition. Speaker 2 (4:18) Before we start, how much of this was chat GPT? Get Speaker 4 (4:20) out of here. Speaker 2 (4:21) No trailer Speaker 4 (4:23) could have done it justice. I've dreamed of this day and overly discussed this. September 10th, you kneeling, me saying yes, and you remembering exactly which one I wanted as my engagement dress. But it's not all about the pretty days in our love story. It's about the good, the bad, and every category. It's the nights that weren't cute at all and you didn't flinch, didn't stall. When everything felt heavy, dark, and unclear, you just held my hand and stayed right here. No dramatic music needed then, just you steady again and again. No swelling strings, no perfect light, turning my worst days into all right. So here's the plot twist. The romance isn't the proposal scene. It's every day with you still choosing to be my person in between. Best decision I ever made, hands down. Rom-com writers, eat your hearts out. Would cast you again in every scene. Real love's better than anything you've ever dreamed. Speaker 2 (5:19) Aww, that was so nice. 90 % chat GPT, I would say, probably. But that was pretty good. It was really good. You did a good, you like. That's really nice. That Speaker 4 (5:30) is dark. Mark, that was 90 Speaker 2 (5:32) % chat GPT. Speaker 4 (5:33) Yeah, Mark has no idea. Why would Mark know? This is my anniversary gift to you. Why would Mark have any idea? Speaker 2 (5:40) I'm giving you your gift tonight. Speaker 4 (5:42) Which is what? Speaker 2 (5:43) You're going to have to wait and see. Speaker 4 (5:45) You didn't get me a gift. You're going to go and get me something. No, no, I have a gift. Speaker 2 (5:49) I have a gift. Speaker 4 (5:52) Anywho, September 10th it is. And it is a Dear Banya episode today. I got a couple questions. I'm going to save those because I asked you a couple of the questions that came in on the other on Monday's episode. We've got a lot of TTC questions. And so I wanted to kind of start with these just because I felt they're a little bit more like Banya-y. Um, this one is from Natalie and she said, how is Robbie handling your TTC journey and Tanya's health scare earlier this year? His perspective, please. Speaker 2 (6:30) Is that, that's a question for me. Speaker 4 (6:32) Yes. From Natalie. Speaker 2 (6:34) Thank you for the question, Natalie. Um, Speaker 2 (6:40) Well, I think there's, you know, there's like two sides of this. One is, you know, my emotional state of dealing with kind of everything that's gone on and kind of everything that's going on. And then also like my, uh, supporting you and dealing with you because our journeys, while one journey are like really we're, we're going through, it's so different. Like you're, you're really like, going through a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot more than I am physically, emotionally. So I guess I'll start with kind of like my perspective on everything. I am a very positive person. I'm a very, you know, I read this book, The Sunshine Mind, go check it out. But the concept, I mean, that's how I live my life too. Like I'm very, very, very positive. I feel very, I, Speaker 2 (7:38) anytime I'm going through a difficult time or even a really like great time, I have, I think a very, like, I have an ability to like put things in perspective. Right. And, and so when we were at our lowest lows during this process, I was able to put things in perspective, you know, just primarily like, yes, we've gone through a lot, um, some scary things. Um, but At the same time, we're so fortunate that it went as well as it did, right? Like the silver lining of it all, that we are in such an incredible position to eventually succeed in what we're doing. And so for me, it's been, don't get me wrong, it's been difficult. Speaker 2 (8:34) Um, especially, and I know when you're ready, you'll talk about it in more detail, but especially kind of your health scare and the surgery that you went through, uh, end of the year, that was incredibly difficult, but I always felt that it was my job to be strong for both of us and to me and to like be your rock because you were really the one kind of like going through it. Like it was you, it was your body, it was your everything. And so I really kind of, I did like address my emotions, but really I was there for you and my whole, uh, kind of purpose in over this past like year plus has been to be there for you as much as I can. I hope that I've succeeded in that. Um, I do my best. So you have had it rough. You, this is, you know, Speaker 2 (9:30) at the end of the day, we're very, very, very, very lucky. We're lucky in every single way. We're gonna, you know, do this. It's, we're going to look back on all of this and we're, and we're going to, it's just going to be distant memories. So in that way, we're very fortunate. There's people who are a lot worse off than us. Um, and so I can't be like sad about it, to be honest, but I, I, Speaker 2 (9:57) uh, it's, it's been so much for you that, um, I just want to keep the positivity, keep the optimism because again, like I said, I know that we're going to get through this and look back on this and it'll just be like a small blip in our story. Speaker 2 (10:21) No, what? What are your thoughts? Speaker 6 (10:22) No, I mean, it's like, it's just been the craziest thing because I feel like we got married and we had this Speaker 4 (10:30) like amazing, you know, you have this amazing wedding and all the festivities leading up to it that are so much fun. And then like you have your honeymoon, you're on this like crazy high of life where it's like, I mean, I think our wedding was like my favorite weekend of my life. Speaker 6 (10:47) It was Speaker 4 (10:47) so much fun. And you just, you're on this like crazy high. And then we went straight into like Speaker 6 (10:55) trying to conceive and it's just been like the craziest, like emotional rollercoaster I've ever been on in my life. And like the, the, like, I've never been lower than I've been. And it's like such a crazy juxtaposition going from like. Being like the happiest you've ever been to the saddest you've ever been. And like, I just don't even think I'm like equipped to handle like all these emotions. Speaker 6 (11:24) It's too much for me. I think you Speaker 2 (11:26) got to give yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of credit. You've been through a lot and you've handled it really, really well, all things considered. And I think you have to like give yourself that grace because you've been handling it. So for you to sit here and say that like you don't think you're capable of it. I know, but like I'm not. Like that's the thing. I'm like living my life Speaker 6 (11:43) and I'm like going through my life. But like at the end of the day, like everything revolves around my cycle and my fertility and like Speaker 2 (11:49) blood Speaker 6 (11:50) work and like. I mean, just everything. Yeah, but you're Speaker 2 (11:54) doing it. No question. It's hard, but you're doing it. I know, but I'm doing it. It's all I'm Speaker 6 (11:59) focusing on. Like, it's like, I can't even, I can't even do anything else. I'm obvious. I'm going through my life and I'm like doing what needs to be done. But like mentally, I'm just like. thinking about other things visualizing your sperm meeting my I mean like literally it's like it's constantly on my mind you know like I bring socks to the movie theaters to keep my feet warm and like it's just constantly on my mind and it's just it's like exhausting but you're right like I look at Speaker 6 (12:30) Other people who have gone through, you know, five years of this, six years of this, you know, AMH 0.03 and my AMH is so high. And yes, my age plays a fact, but. Speaker 6 (12:47) I mean, it plays a role, but it's just been like so crazy. And sometimes I would, I would get frustrated because I felt like you, you do, you try to keep me positive. You try to like keep Speaker 4 (13:00) the train going. And I just want to be like, can't you just like cry with me? You know, like I would just want you to Speaker 2 (13:05) cry. I've cried. Yeah, Speaker 4 (13:06) no, it's not, I'm not saying you've never cried, but like sometimes I just, no, Speaker 2 (13:10) I know. And that's, I mean, that's like, That's like the classic like men, women like thing where it's like women, if they're expressing or going through something, they want the guy to just like understand it and acknowledge it, not try to like problem solve. And all I want to do is like problem solve. Right. So for sure, that's, but I also, I am conscious of that. And I, and I try to truly understand and like acknowledge what you're going through. And we've listened, like I said. There will come a time when this period of your life, of our lives that you're saying was like impossible, you couldn't even handle it, will be a blip in the story. Speaker 4 (13:51) Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:52) And... I just, you know, whatever, whatever emotions you're going through right now, you're going to go through, we're going to go through. Um, and that's totally normal and natural. And