My Dad Taught Me How To Do Cocaine At 16 | My Whole Family Was Addicted

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning

Cody Ellis recounts the harrowing collapse of his family in Georgia following a traumatic burn injury to his brother. He details how his par

Key takeaways

• Cody's brother, BJ, suffered life-altering burns from a gasoline-fueled bonfire at age eight.
• His mother, Janet Ellis, was arrested in 05 for orchestrating a complex prescription forgery scheme using technical skills.

Main topics

• Generational addiction
• Prescription drug epidemic

Notable quotes

My whole world changes like in a blink of an eye.

Conclusion

A powerful testament to the devastating impact of addiction on family

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Brittany was at a doctor's office one time. DEA came in with ARs. Everybody get down now. Like, and they're hauling the doctor out in handcuffs. They're seizing all the money. And then... Speaker 1 (0:18) Cody, thank you for coming on. Yeah. Thanks for having me, man. Yeah. I, um, your sister Brittany came on not too long ago. It's a family disease. Your other brother is coming on as well next. Speaker 2 (0:29) Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (0:29) So three siblings growing up. Yeah. Speaker 2 (0:32) You, Speaker 1 (0:33) your brother, your younger sister, older sister. I'm the baby. Oh yeah. I got that Speaker 2 (0:39) syndrome going on. Speaker 1 (0:40) Okay. Okay. How long are you sober for? Speaker 2 (0:43) Four years. Actually, I just celebrated four years nine days ago. Congratulations. Yeah. That's amazing. 20th Speaker 1 (0:48) made Speaker 2 (0:48) four Speaker 1 (0:49) years. That's amazing. Yeah. So let's take a giant step back. Take us to early childhood. You grew up in Georgia. Yeah. What was that like? Speaker 2 (0:56) You know, I grew up in this town where it was like maybe five red lights. I think population 12,000. You know what I'm saying? So like everybody knew everybody. Speaker 2 (1:10) It's kind of hard to like, fishing was always a part of it. Like, you know what I mean? Ever since I was a kid, I loved to fish. I loved to get outside and just be like, kids these days don't know that. It's like all these kids are stuck in tablets and iPhones and headphones on. Like, go outside and experience outside. That's what my childhood was. Like, on my bike all the time. Like, during the summertime, like, the sun comes up, we're outside. That's what we do. We're fishing. We're getting into trouble. And, you know, being the baby of the bunch, you know, I was always trying to keep up with my older siblings, you know, running behind them, running behind my brother and wreaking havoc everywhere I went. Like, you know what I'm saying? Just like I got this complex going on. I'm the baby. You know, I got to be tough. I got to be tougher than them. They're pretty tough, but I need to be tougher. That kind of shit. You know what I mean? And my dad, he worked all the time. My mama did, too. And so, you know, I was like I was like eight years old. So, you know, Brittany described it to my brother got burnt. And when I was eight. And so it's like every let me back up a little bit. So we had lived with my grandmother for a while. And then mom and daddy got a house. Finally, you know, we got a house. And then things are like going really, really good. Things are like happening. I mean, I'm just a kid. I'm oblivious to all this. I noticed that changes are happening and we're doing good. We're doing better. And my dad gets, my dad gets laid off from his job at the tire factory. Speaker 2 (2:52) we get, you know, what are we going to do about our house? What are we going to do about our house? And so, and my brother gets burnt and that's when everything like started to change the whole dynamic. Speaker 1 (3:03) So your brother got burnt in a bonfire, right? You guys were having a bonfire. Yeah. And then the next morning it was out. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 2 (3:12) Yeah. So what happened was, is that BJ, we had, we were burning some stuff the night before. Speaker 2 (3:22) And my dad had took the gas from him because, you know, my daddy was like burning some stuff. He was going to, you know, trying to get it started and all that good stuff. And BJ just liked, I guess, gas. He just liked it. I don't know why. He's a little crazy. And my dad actually beat his. for like messing with it and put it in the shed and he breaks into the shed and gets it right it's crazy yeah he breaks into the damn shed and uh and he steals it and uh he's a smoldering fire and i can remember i was on the side of the house i was working on my bike and uh i was always in the shit man i was always doing things with my hands and uh because i wanted to be like my dad that's what my dad was like hands-on fixing doing things and fishing all the time like that's what i wanted to be i just idolized my dad i wanted to be him and uh and he instilled so much into me work ethic wise and and you know all that good stuff and i'm working on my bike and all of a sudden you know uh uh i knew my brother Speaker 1 (4:27) was up something i couldn't figure it out but Speaker 2 (4:30) you know i didn't pay no attention i didn't know he was just a life-changing event was about to happen like little did i know and uh and i heard screaming And so for whatever reason, I don't know why, you know, I ran to the front of the house. All this happened in the back of the house. But some like I ran to the front, went in the front door and I come in and I see my dad bent over with his pants down. My brother wrapped up in a blanket. And for the first thought that went through my mind was the air conditioner blew up on him because he like tackled him. in front of the ac return you know those big white vents on the wall and Speaker 1 (5:07) i Speaker 2 (5:08) thought the air conditioner blew up and we pulled the cover off and i could see the skin just like peeled back over his face all the hair gone like and um And this is kind of gross, but I'm going to share it anyway. It is what it is. It's still stuck in my mind. I'll never be able to unsee it. But my dad was, you know, using the he was using the restroom. And the instinct that he had as a dad was to, you know, get up off the commode. Because they had an en suite bathroom in our house. And so he runs, you know, he wobbles. That's why his pants were Speaker 1 (5:43) down. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:45) that's why his pants were down. And he wobbles past the bed, you know, a little hurry shimmy. And he grabs a blanket and wraps him up as he, you know, comes to the back door beside our kitchen table. And he pulled the blanket off. And like the skin. Just peeled off of him as he opened the blanket and my first thought my first thought was see we were the only ones there just me my dad and my brother my mom and my sister was in town doing things and He peeled the blanket off and all I could see was this skin and it really like Burn is not that bad like right away Right. You know, I'm saying it takes 10 to 15 minutes before inflammation and the swelling starts. Do you actually see it? The water blisters the and like the one thing that's burned in my mind is all the soot, the black stuff. Right. Because his skin literally cooked on him and you couldn't really see how bad it was. Not not at that moment. And so when a chemical burn happens, it it doesn't stop cooking. It cooks to it like the accelerant is out. So he had done, you know, like we were taught in school, stop, drop, and roll. Speaker 1 (6:57) Yeah, he wrapped him in the blanket to suffocate the fire to put it out. Speaker 2 (7:01) Right. So he had done stop, drop, and roll in the yard while he was screaming, and it wasn't working. And panic really set in that he knew it fucked up. And so he came to the back door. Anyway, so my dad yells out, hang on, but keep your brother wrapped up. I have to go wipe my ass. Speaker 1 (7:22) Holy shit. I mean, that's real. Yeah, yeah, Speaker 2 (7:24) yeah. Dude, like your kid just like, he just got burnt really bad and like, I got to go wipe my ass. This is crazy. Yeah. But it's like, it's stuck in my mind. I can't, I can't unsee that. It's, I'm eight years old and that's like one of my core memories of childhood. And it's not like trauma. It's not, it's just what happened. You know what I'm saying? I'm not fucked up from it and all that stuff. Dude, Speaker 1 (7:47) it's traumatizing, man. Speaker 2 (7:50) It is. I mean, it's, but it's, you know, other people look at it like that and it's not like, it wasn't really like, it didn't fuck me up like that, like you would think. So I called 911 and, you know, we live in a small ass town and, you know, these paramedics are trained to, you know, they're not equipped. to, you know, deal with shit like this. They've never even seen anything like this. And the lady on the phone, you know, she tells me, keep him wrapped up in the blanket. Keep him wrapped up in the blanket until first responders get there. And so my dad keeps him wrapped up in the blanket. He's back, you know, and he's screaming. He's like, I can't. And, like, his adrenaline is going, you know what I mean? Speaker 2 (8:38) So the first responders get there and the first thing they do is they put him on the gurney and they take this sterile water, this cold sterile water, and they lay a sheet. And that's when we peeled the cover off of him. That's when, that's like, there was skin all over the kitchen floor. Dude, the house smelled like burnt skin for weeks. It was fucked up. Did they airlift them? Speaker 1 (9:03) One thing I've learned in my own recovery is that you can't do this alone, and you don't have to. I know that firsthand. I went through inpatient treatment at Karen Treatment Centers, and it changed the course of my life. That's why I am proud to announce that I have partnered with Karen. For nearly 70 years, they've helped people and families not just break free from addiction, but actually heal. and transform their lives. They're in network with all major insurance providers and same day admission is available. So if you or someone you love is struggling, don't wait. Call Karen at 855-352-0103. That's 855-352-0103. Help starts with taking that first step. Speaker 2 (9:51) Yes. So we got to Jeff Davis County Memorial Hospital. That's where I'm from. It's Jeff Davis County, Georgia. And the ER doctors are just like, what the fuck? What did you do? And like now you can see all like they. So when they so when they put you in, when you when you're like traumatized, trauma from a severe burn like that, it's. Speaker 2 (10:17) They wrap you in this sheet and they dump cold sterile water and they have to keep removing it because what it does, they're trying to debride the infected skin. They're trying to pull it off. And so they keep doing it. And these fucking white sheets are black from the soot. His hair was caked on. You ever burn a bottom of a spoon, that black shit on the bottom of it? That's what he was covered in. And now they hit him with the morphine because the guy's in so much pain. And, like, my mom's crying, my dad's crying, my grandmother, my aunts. Everybody's there. And my brother's just like, he's fucked up. He's telling my mom, don't worry, it's all going to be okay. And, dude, his left arm is just like, there are water blisters the size of a fucking baseball all down his fucking arm. And so I had never seen a helicopter before. I lived a very, very sheltered life. Not really seen much. Most things I've seen are new shotguns and Toyota trucks. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And the trauma hawk gets there. They call them air flights or whatever up there. I think they call them trauma hawks down here. And so they airlift him, and my mom's in panic. She works for this car guy that's prominent in Hazelhurst. His name's Woody Folsom. And, you know, he's got these jingles on the radio, you know, come see Woody, you know, talk to me. And a good boss that he is, he gave my mother this, like, fully loaded van, paid for the gas. You know, Augusta's like two hours from where we're from. And that was the closest burn trauma unit in Georgia for us. And so. The next, I would say, two years, the kid didn't go to school. He wasn't able to do shit, physical therapy. I mean, watching, seeing him get burnt wasn't traumatizing. What was traumatizing is going to the burn center and watching, going into the severe burn unit and seeing the people that really got it bad. Yeah. Like, I can remember this old lady that was in the room next to him. with us going to visit and stuff and you got to wrap up dude like you got booties you got body suits like this is a sterile environment you have to have you got to wear goggles you got to wear a headband the the works right and this old lady had got trapped in a house fire And I'll never forget her name. Her name was Agatha. I'll never forget it. And I had three days in a row we went. And on the fourth day, they were cleaning her room out. She had passed away. And that was just like the case every day. Somebody was dying. Somebody was going for an eight-year-old kid. It was like, that's the trauma. That's the shit. Like, you're watching these fucking people, you know, dying. Like, these kids who have... fucking schizophrenia that, you know, these voices are telling them, hey, you know, start this fire. There was a kid who set a cell phone fire in his mom's car. Like, and like 99 % of his body's burned. Like his eyelids are burned off his face. That's the shit. You know what I'm saying? And like we, my family never recovered. Like it never, it all started there. Like that was the pivotal moment of, you know, my mother. Speaker 2 (13:39) This great guy that she worked for supported her, paid for a lot of things as much as he could. And then my mother just had to quit the job. She had to take a leave of absence and just never went back because her oldest son is fucked up. It's not good. And he went for I don't know how many surgeries. Speaker 2 (14:00) Skin grafts, cadaver skin stapled to him. There was nothing, absolutely nothing they could do for his left arm. I mean, you'll see it. I mean, it's fucked up. I mean, because where the accelerant landed on him, I mean, it just cooked into the bone. So, you know what I'm saying? I mean, talk about resilience. Yeah. You know what I mean? Speaker 1 (14:20) Okay. So, your brother gets home two years later. Speaker 2 (14:23) Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:23) No, you had said your family never recovered. Can you talk about the progression of what your family went through in terms of was he prescribed pain meds? Yeah. What did that look like? And then when were substances starting to integrate into the household? Speaker 2 (14:38) So, yeah. So after his surgeries and stuff, obviously he was, he was medicated and stuff and they started. You know, they did as much as they could for him, and now I need to introduce him back, you know, into normal life and stuff because you get this thing called, like, this dependency on the hospital, you know. They had him with a catheter, and they had to, you know, they had to work with him, getting him back used to it and walking and stuff because, dude, you get, like, rigor set in because they have to move you every day and stuff like that. I mean, so they introduced him back home, and... They give him a bunch of shit. They give him a bunch of shit. My parents are dealing with, you know, financial insecurity and stuff. We're going to lose our house for sure. My dad can't make it to work as much. We're trying to lean on family members. And, you know, at some point, you know, I'm still a kid. I'm eight going on nine years old. Speaker 2 (15:35) 10 years old and I still don't know what's going on. You know, all I know is my brother's fucked up. I don't really know that my parents are taking his pain meds. I don't really know that, you know, I don't really know what's happening, but I can see the change is starting to take place because, you know, my dad's starting to be at home more. And like. Speaker 2 (15:58) So around this time, right before my brother got burnt, my dad got his finger chopped off. He got the tip of his finger caught in a spool of baling wire. He worked at a tire plant for high tensile strength wire that goes in tires. And his finger got caught in a press. And so they had to amputate it. And so he was still on unemployment and disability waiting for a settlement check. Speaker 2 (16:24) So our whole life is just like flipped upside down all in one year. You know what I mean? And so we lose our house and we move back in with my grandmother. And I didn't know we lost it. I just thought we were going to get a new one. Like I watched him literally like from where I'm from, people have houses with axles on them. So Speaker 1 (16:43) when Speaker 2 (16:43) you don't pay your fucking bills, they pull up and they put that thing, they hook the ball up to it and they pull your shit out. You know what Speaker 1 (16:49) I Speaker 2 (16:49) mean? And so. Speaker 2 (16:54) I can see my mother starting to act different. I can see a lot of shit starting to go down. Her not working, my dad. We're solely dependent on my grandmother. My grandmother's starting to get irritated and stuff. My brother's like, he's starting to bounce back. He's starting to, you know. And there for a while, it was like, okay. My brother's back. They're winging him off the pain meds and he's going on gabapentin, stuff like that. But then there was like this big shift of like this mental aspect of it. Like of he, he started acting fucking crazy. This kid was psycho. Like he was, he was on this gabapentin and other nerve medicines. They wanted to wean him off that stuff. And from the withdrawal from that and the nerve medication, you know, I think that's what gabapentin is, is like it targets nerve pain. Speaker 2 (17:47) He's starting to fucking act crazy. He's starting to get weird. He's, like, lashing out. He broke my jaw one time. I was like, you know, he split my shit. You know what I'm saying? And he's just, like, mad at the world. And my dad finally gets another job at the sawmill because, you know, he's a working guy. But I could see, like, the wear and tear on him, like, what this shit did to him. And we just never recovered. Speaker 2 (18:18) I could hear these conversations that, you know, I would, you know, during the summertime I would sleep on the couch, you know, pass out on the couch and stuff. And my mom would be at the table and she'd be talking to one of her friends and she would be talking about her, you know, her script. And she's already starting to dabble with the pain management shit. And I could hear her talking. So I'm like 11 and 12 at this time. I can hear. I got ears. I can listen. And talking about, you know, she was always going and doing something. Speaker 1 (18:45) Always got to go here. Speaker 2 (18:47) But don't get it twisted like they made sure we ate, they made sure we had school clothes, and that we had what we needed. And, you know, they raised us to be very resilient individuals, no matter what. Fight for what you believe in, stand up for what you believe in, and work hard. That's what my parents taught us. you know, uh, rocking on, you know, um, I start to lash out too. I start to, you know, I'm 13 and 14 at this time now. And, you know, BJ's fully, fully recovered. He failed two grades in high school. He wound up graduating with my sister's class. He had to walk with them because I mean, his class was oh three and, uh, Brittany's class is oh five. So he missed so much school that he could never make it up. So he just, you know, he stuck it out and, and we're still living with my grandma. And, uh, My mama winds up getting busted for something. I can't remember if it's checks or pills or whatever. That lifestyle, yeah. Yeah, Speaker 1 (19:45) yeah, yeah. Speaker 2 (19:46) And this is like 2003, right? And I'm like 12 or 13 at the time. And my mama goes, she goes away for six months to a diversion center. And we've, you know. over those five years from 98 to 2003, like our family had suffered so much. Like it was fucked up. And, and, you know, I wasn't living like a normal childhood. My friends were like telling me about their dad, taking them hunting and tell them about going to baseball games that are, you know, shit like that. Dad coming to the school for parent T or, you know, career day. My dad didn't do that shit. That shit. You know what I mean? Like, no, it's. We were going to visit. Like, what are you doing this weekend? I'm going to visit my mom in prison. You know what I'm saying? And it was, I really didn't give a fuck, though. You know, I wasn't ashamed of it. Like, there was nothing I could control. You know what I'm saying? Speaker 1 (20:42) And Speaker 2 (20:42) so, you know, we're going to visit my mother. And my dad's mom is just, she was good. Lord rest her soul. She was a good woman. She had the same problem. She was a drug addict, too. And I didn't know. She was always sick. my grandma my dad's mother and um she would take us to go see my mother and she would complain the whole time um and you know i would see my mother in in brown jumpsuits and saluting these guys because she was in like a um uh boot camp style diversion center like you know walk straight line and maybe you'll do better when you get out of here and she came home and uh things were good for a little while and uh Speaker 2 (21:25) She's on probation, and that's hard to maintain. And so it's like 2004, you know, at this time. She does good for a while. She was able to get, like, a job at Hardee's, and Dad was working and still living with Grandma. And so, you know, it was a little dysfunctional, but a lot of love, like a lot, a lot of love. And the pill meal epidemic started. Speaker 2 (21:52) So, like, my mom had heard these, like, fleeting rumors, I guess you'd call them that, of these people going to Florida and getting, like, you know, what they wanted for, like, you know. Mama had this saying, you know, I take