I Got Addicted To A Legal Drug Called 7OH I Bought At The Smoke Shop

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning - Kevin Lanning

In this powerful episode of 'Rise Above,' Kevin Lanning sits down with a survivor who shares her harrowing journey from childhood trauma to addiction and eventual recovery. She

Key takeaways

Trauma from childhood abuse can lead to long-term struggles with addiction, even when the substance is legal or seemingly harmless.

Main topics

Childhood sexual abuse
Trauma and its long-term effects

Notable quotes

"I knew at a very young age it wasn't my fault. And I felt like this person is supposed to be taking care of me and they're not."

Conclusion

This episode underscores the profound impact of early trauma and how it can manifest in later life through

Transcript preview

Speaker 4 (0:04) The Speaker 3 (0:05) city moves fast, but your vibe, that's different. Sharper, smoother, more alive. Speaker 4 (0:15) The new Speaker 3 (0:20) Honda City isn't just made to drive, it's made to feel. The new Honda City, all new vibe. Speaker 1 (0:28) There were flyers, neon flyers all over the school with a pornographic image, my face on the woman, my uncle's face on the man. And it said, Barry F's her uncle. Speaker 2 (0:44) So you had an issue with 7-0-H. 7-0-H is a very hot topic right now. And your experience really could help a lot of people. And you talking about it, you coming on here, I want to thank you for that. Speaker 1 (0:55) Oh, it's my pleasure. Speaker 2 (0:57) So let's take a huge step back. Are you originally from Charlotte, born and raised? I'm Speaker 1 (1:02) not. I'm from Darnestown, Maryland. Ah, Speaker 2 (1:04) Northeast girl. Speaker 1 (1:05) Yes, I am. Speaker 2 (1:06) And you said your parents, your mom was from Boston. My Speaker 1 (1:09) mom's from Boston and then my dad was born in Maryland. Speaker 2 (1:11) Okay. Did you have any siblings growing up? Speaker 1 (1:13) I have a younger brother. He's almost three years younger than me, but he looks much older and he's been through it. Speaker 2 (1:19) You got the young looks. Yeah, I got it. What was the vibe growing up in the household? Speaker 1 (1:26) Honestly, until age eight, everything was like the typical American family. My mom worked really hard and my dad owned a few businesses. Speaker 1 (1:36) The way he showed love was through sports. As long as I played sports and was the best on every team I was on, he loved me and it was great. Speaker 2 (1:43) Did you feel a lot of pressure because of that? Speaker 1 (1:45) Yeah, but I have this unearned confidence. I don't even know how to describe it, but I just in my soul knew I can be the best. That's going to happen. And I mean, I was usually the only girl on the team. So even if I wasn't the best, it still looked good that his daughter was on a team with all boys. Speaker 2 (2:02) Yeah, of course. Of course. You said until age eight. What happened at age eight? Speaker 1 (2:08) So at age eight, I was playing with my brother and my mom was in the kitchen and the phone rang and she answered it and started screaming. And we didn't know what happened. We ran out to her and she was hysterical. She was like doubled over. She couldn't believe what she heard. And my brother and I were like, dad had an accident, like a car accident. We didn't know what that meant. But. It turns out my dad, he had a restoration company and he restored historical buildings in D.C. And he was restoring the roof of a building in Georgetown and on a man lift 40 feet in the air. And he went to move forward on a two person man lift by himself and it fell over. It hit another metal building on the way down and then fell into a ditch. And because he was an amazing athlete his entire life. He was able to crawl out of the ditch just enough for people to be able to see him. And he passed out and somebody found him like three or four hours later. They called an ambulance. They got the helicopter there and helivacked him to the hospital. He died twice on the helicopter. They got him to the hospital. He slipped into a coma and they were like, yeah, there's no way he's going to survive the night. Somehow he survived three weeks in a coma. And during those three weeks, my mom found out he'd been cheating on her with over 40 women. And some were not so consensual. And it was pretty awful. A lot of family friends were involved. And my mom was like double devastated. She had her husband almost died, could possibly still die, and then found out all that information. And then my dad miraculously woke up after three weeks. And the first thing my mom asked him was, is this true? And he just went. Like as much as he could move. He was paralyzed from the neck down, but he just was kind of like, yeah, sorry. So that was very traumatic. And my brother and I were just kind of bouncing from place to place. We didn't know what was happening. And I was kind of a daddy's girl as much as I could be. So, yeah, it was really difficult. Speaker 2 (4:19) How did she find out during the coma were women showing up at the hospital? They Speaker 1 (4:26) were calling her, writing letters. A family friend that I've known since I was two, she came forward and told my mom that he attacked her. And I know if my stepmom ever sees this, she's going to be fuming, but it happened. Speaker 2 (4:42) Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. That's very devastating. That will break up an entire family, of course. Speaker 1 (4:50) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (4:50) then, of course, it's the – the sympathy towards him because he had just went through this devastating accident. And Speaker 1 (4:56) everyone looked at my mom like a monster. Like, how could you want to leave him when he just went through that? Speaker 2 (5:02) Now, was he permanently paralyzed from the neck down? Speaker 1 (5:05) He eventually, he was like, when I say an athlete, it was his entire personality. And he wanted to prove to everyone that he could walk again. So eventually he started with a electric wheelchair, then a regular wheelchair, then a walker, then a cane. and worked out every single day, even in his 70s. And yeah, he beat the odds. Wow. Speaker 2 (5:30) I wouldn't say a full recovery, but he was walking. Speaker 1 (5:34) He still, you know, he had trouble and he was uncomfortable, but he never complained, never even took Tylenol, just dealt with it. Speaker 2 (5:42) Wow. Speaker 1 (5:42) Okay. Speaker 2 (5:43) So following that, your parents' divorce. Speaker 1 (5:47) My parents, my mom got him better for a year. She put all of her life savings into healing him. And when he was finally able to live with a nurse, she said, yeah, we're leaving and packed us up and moved us to California so that we could be near family members and have the, you know, father figure over there. And my dad was like, well, if that's what's best. He didn't love it, but he wasn't really in a position where he could do much. And yeah, she moved us and then. After a few months, finally told us, oh, we're getting divorced. Okay. So I kind of knew. My brother didn't know and was completely blindsided. But I figured since we were moving across the country, there was a chance. You Speaker 2 (6:26) said a few of them weren't consensual. Were there ever charges brought up on him? Never. Speaker 1 (6:32) Okay. Never. And I mean, I had a babysitter that I loved so much and she randomly quit one day and we didn't know why. My mom thinks maybe that was it, but we never got confirmation. So there's a lot of... A lot of hearsay, I guess, that I don't know for certain. I know my aunt and my grandma were really mad at my dad and were telling me a lot of things that, you know, I don't know exactly what's true, but there was a lot there. Speaker 2 (6:58) Okay. So that happens at eight. At nine, you guys pack up, move to California. Yes. You're living in California, elementary school, finishing up, I'm assuming, elementary school around that time, going into middle school. Did you see your dad at all since he was still living in Maryland? Speaker 1 (7:16) It was the summer before fifth grade that we moved there. And every summer my dad would come in for a week or we would go there for a week. And just like a week out of the year we'd see him and spend time with him. Speaker 2 (7:27) Okay. So take us through life in California. You go into middle school. Speaker 1 (7:33) This is where the story actually gets crazy. Speaker 1 (7:37) Fifth grade was pretty normal. We had a really good life. We moved to be near my aunt and uncle, my mom's sister and brother-in-law. And my aunt was a model and I just worshipped her. My uncle was a Beverly Hills doctor. So everybody respected him. He had the money. Speaker 2 (7:52) The power couple. The Speaker 1 (7:54) power couple, right? So he would take us surfing all the time and take us snowboarding. And it was just the coolest life. Like we were living in fantasy land. Speaker 1 (8:05) Then the summer – or I'm sorry, the fall going in – or in sixth grade. Sorry, fall in sixth grade. About Speaker 2 (8:12) a year into living in California. Yes. Speaker 1 (8:14) We went up to the mountains with his family, and that night he – was the first time he molested me. And that was just the beginning of a two-year-long cycle that progressed from molestation to – yeah. Speaker 2 (8:30) And you're about 10 years old at this point? I Speaker 1 (8:33) was 11. Speaker 2 (8:34) 11. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:35) Okay. Speaker 2 (8:35) I am so sorry that happened to you. Thank you. But it's crazy because you said he was a doctor. He has the model wife. Speaker 1 (8:43) Yep. Speaker 2 (8:43) And – He Speaker 1 (8:44) thought he was untouchable. And Speaker 2 (8:46) it's usually the person who's close to the family that does it. Yes. And we Speaker 1 (8:51) were vulnerable because of what just happened with our dad. Speaker 2 (8:54) Yeah. So this happens for about two years. Yes. Now, during this time, are you – and I'm asking this because I hear it a lot from abuse survivors, sexual abuse survivors. They say that – what I've heard is they feel like it's their fault. One thing I've learned in my own recovery is that you can't do this alone, and you don't have to. I know that firsthand. I went through inpatient treatment at Karen Treatment Centers, and it changed the course of my life. That's why I am proud to announce that I've partnered with Karen. For nearly 70 years, they've helped people and families not just break free from addiction, but actually heal and transform their lives. They're in network with all major insurance providers. and same day admission is available. So if you or someone you love is struggling, don't wait. Call Karen at 855-352-0103. That's 855-352-0103. Help starts with taking that first step. Speaker 1 (10:05) Yeah, I hear a lot of people say that. I knew at a very young age it wasn't my fault. And I felt like this person is supposed to be taking care of me and they're not. And I can't tell anyone because I knew if I told my family they would fall apart. And I just kind of sucked it up and dealt with it. And then the second half of the second year, I just – I really couldn't take it anymore and I started self-harming. The first time I did it was in his – Vehicle and he said to me don't bleed on the interior Speaker 1 (10:38) So I was like, you know what? Yeah. Speaker 2 (10:41) And Speaker 1 (10:42) that kind of led to me being like, I need to tell at some point. And after – by two years, I was with a friend from the soccer team and we were doing homework and she's like, why is your uncle always around? He just lingers. It's weird. He was coming to my soccer games, standing behind the goal while I was goalie. It was just very weird. And I just snapped. And I was like, you want to know why? And I told her. And that night she went home and she was laying in bed crying and her mom said, what's wrong? She told her mom what happened. Her mom's first reaction was to call everyone on the soccer team's mom and tell them because she wanted to make sure he didn't hurt anyone else. And the next day I went to school and there were flyers, neon flyers all over the school with a pornographic image, my face on the woman, my uncle's face on the man. And it said, Barry Fs her uncle. All over the school. I thought I only told one person. The entire school knew. My friend from the soccer team, who I thought was my friend, there was a picture of the three of us. And she took that and decided to out the situation that way. Speaker 2 (11:51) Holy shit. Kids are fucked up. Speaker 1 (11:55) Awful. Awful. And this was before cell phones, thank goodness. But, I mean, that was like. the closest you could get to making a meme of someone or Speaker 2 (12:02) online. Yeah. Okay. So. Does it – do you eventually go to your mom? Your mom finds out. Does law enforcement get involved? Speaker 1 (12:14) So my mom found out because the mom of the girl I told eventually told my mom last. Speaker 2 (12:21) And Speaker 1 (12:21) when she found out, I came home from school and she was standing there crying and I just knew she knew. So we talked about it and then she called her sister over to tell her what happened. And I thought – idolized this woman my entire life. I was really good to her. She always called me like, like a daughter. I always said she was my second mom. And when she came over and we told her, she was just in shock. And for some reason, the, the girl from my soccer team and her mom came over right at that time. And sorry. Speaker 2 (12:54) And, Speaker 1 (12:55) uh, they wanted to be there for some reason. And my mom allowed it, which I'm not really sure why. But I guess to have backup, like, yes, this happened. And my aunt got up and said, I can't believe you would do this to me and walked out. And after that, my entire family knew about it. She called all of them and they all took his side, even though he admitted it. Flat out admitted what happened. And my entire family, my aunt, my uncles, my grandparents, everyone on my side. who I thought we were very close. They all took his side. And they all called me Lolita behind my back. And they told everyone that they knew, friends, family, everyone, that I seduced him at 11 years old. So that was the narrative. Speaker 2 (13:42) So you now, at this very young age, you can't trust your family who you're supposed to trust. Speaker 1 (13:48) Exactly. I Speaker 2 (13:49) mean, your mom had your back. Speaker 1 (13:51) Yeah, always. Speaker 2 (13:53) But all of these people in your life that you trust, that's your safe zone. And you no longer feel safe. Speaker 1 (14:00) No. Speaker 2 (14:02) Okay. So where does it go from there? Do you start going for alcohol, drugs, or is that something that comes into play a little later on? Speaker 1 (14:11) I actually started with self-harm. That was, in my head, that made more sense. I didn't want drugs at that time. The police did eventually find out. They did a rape kit. They found out it did happen. They had to bring it to trial. My family was all sitting on his side of court. And it was just me, my mom, and my brother on our side. And the judge was even like, what is happening? This is insane. The judge was on our side. Speaker 2 (14:36) Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:37) But when all that happened, I just snapped. And I remember being in school and punching the mirror in the bathroom and just taking that and hurting myself. And I did that. many times, but was caught by the guidance counselor a few times. And finally, so Speaker 2 (14:52) sorry. No, you're good. Speaker 1 (14:53) Finally, she said, we can't do this anymore. And they did a 5150, I guess it's called, where they sent me to a mental institution, strapped me to a table, put me in an ambulance. Speaker 2 (15:05) The system just kept failing you. Speaker 1 (15:07) Yes. And then I was in a mental institution for two weeks and got beat up every day by a six foot tall girl who was 15 when I was 13. And yeah, beat up every single day. And I got out of that and was like, it's just me against the world now. I have to look after myself because no one else will. Speaker 2 (15:25) And Speaker 1 (15:26) then we eventually moved back to Maryland. My mom left me in California and my brother in Florida for a bit so she could get started on our life in Maryland. Speaker 4 (15:35) And Speaker 1 (15:35) then eventually we followed and moved back. And when that happened, it was like everything kind of got normal again Speaker 4 (15:42) to Speaker 1 (15:43) the point where. There were four years of high school. I had endometriosis really bad and had a really hard time with that stage four endometriosis. And other than that, my life was very normal and everything was good to the point where I became president of the sad club, students against destructive decisions like drugs. Speaker 2 (16:03) And Speaker 1 (16:03) I was like, I'll never do that. Speaker 2 (16:05) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (16:06) So that was ironic. But with the stage four endometriosis, I was constantly having laparoscopies. I had 13 surgeries total and they gave me pain meds for all of them. And then in between, I had a lot of pain and I got pain meds for that too. And that just started the cycle. By the time I was 19, I was on pain meds at least six times a year. And that adds up. Speaker 2 (16:32) What were they giving you, Percocet? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Percocet. And Speaker 1 (16:35) that was my favorite. Yeah, I used to love Speaker 2 (16:36) it. They gave Speaker 1 (16:36) other things, but Percocet was my favorite.