I Drank For Almost 30 Years Before I Finally Got Sober

Rise Above with Kevin Lanning

Polly Pierce shares her harrowing journey through nearly three decades of alcoholism, abusive relationships, legal troubles, and family estrangemen

Key takeaways

• Polly Pierce spent nearly 30 years battling alcoholism, resulting in two DUIs, a near-fatal crash, and 180 total days in jail across two sentences.
• She endured a 15-year abusive relationship with a man who was also involved in illegal bookmaking and drug use.

Main topics

• Alcoholism and addiction recovery
• Domestic abuse and toxic relationships

Notable quotes

I don't know what you need, but you need to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist or something like that.

Conclusion

Polly's story underscores how hitting rock bottom can spark profound transformation

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) That came to an abrupt end one night when it was in the middle of the afternoon and someone was pounding on the door. And when I answered the door, there was a gun pointed at my face. Speaker 1 (0:17) Polly, I want to thank you for coming on. You had 12 years. You have 12 years this year. Speaker 2 (0:23) Yes. Congratulations. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Speaker 1 (0:26) 12 years sober. You end up graduating high school on time. Speaker 2 (0:29) Yes. Speaker 1 (0:29) What do you do after high school? Speaker 2 (0:31) I went to Edinburgh University. It's up by Erie, Pennsylvania. Speaker 1 (0:37) And Speaker 2 (0:37) I went to that school on purpose because actually at the time, I think it was ranked number three party school in Pennsylvania. So, yeah, like I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to have fun. Speaker 1 (0:53) So, Speaker 2 (0:53) yeah. So I went to school up there and. Speaker 2 (0:58) I almost flunked out my first semester because I just never went to class. But I thought when you were in college, like you didn't have to go to class as long as you showed up for the test or whatever, which I did. But at Edinburgh University, every three classes you missed, you got dropped a letter grade. So if you missed nine classes, even if you had an A, you were down to a C or a D. Speaker 1 (1:23) Didn't Speaker 2 (1:24) matter. But I didn't find that out until after I got. Yeah. Until after I got my first report card. Semester, yeah. Yeah, and I had like a 1.4. Speaker 1 (1:35) Oof. Speaker 2 (1:36) And my parents were super, super duper angry with me. Speaker 1 (1:40) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (1:41) they were like, you know, double check. Like, we're, you know, not that my parents paid for our schooling. That was not what they did in our household. No, six Speaker 1 (1:50) kids, it's a lot. Speaker 2 (1:51) So, and, but they did help out and, you know. So they helped out, but it was mostly student loans that we had to take out or whatever. So, yeah, they were super angry and they were like, you better check yourself. You better do better next semester. So I did. I brought it up to like, I think a 2.2 or whatever. And then I realized that I really didn't want to go to school and I didn't know what I wanted to do. So I just got a job and I was. staying up there and living there. But I will tell you when my very first semester, when I joined up there, it was weird because, you know, like in high school, you're like the big fish in the pond. You know, I was in homecoming court and all that. And I was the treasurer for our student class. I had made tons of friends. And, you know, what I felt was made something of myself or whatever. And then you go to college and. All of a sudden you look around and you're like, I ain't crap. Speaker 1 (2:52) Yeah, there's thousands of people. Speaker 2 (2:53) Yeah. Nobody cares about me or anything or whatever. So I kept drinking. So I actually joined a fraternity. I was a little sister in a fraternity. Sorority? Nope, a fraternity. Wait, Speaker 1 (3:08) you joined a fraternity? Yeah, they Speaker 2 (3:10) had little sisters. Speaker 1 (3:11) Got it. So Speaker 2 (3:13) like it was the brothers, but then they had. Little sisters. Speaker 1 (3:16) Interesting. I've never heard of that before. That's cool. Really? Yeah, I've never heard of that. Speaker 2 (3:19) Yeah. So they had little sisters. I had to go through all the process, not so much hazing as like the guys went through, but we had to learn like each one of the brothers' names and what their majors were and blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. It was Lambda Chi Alpha is actually what it was. So anyways, but the main reason I wanted to join that fraternity was because if you belong to that fraternity, you could drink for $25 for the entire semester. You could drink every Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for free. Speaker 1 (3:52) Four nights a week? Speaker 2 (3:54) Yeah, because they had parties all those nights, and they wanted girls there. Because when girls come, then other guys come. More Speaker 1 (4:00) people Speaker 2 (4:00) come. And they're all paying to get into the party. It was like two, three. Box two, three, maybe even five, but I don't think so. Speaker 1 (4:08) Yeah. Because Speaker 2 (4:09) this was like in 88, I guess it would have been. So yeah. So you have girls there, which brings more people. They're making more money. So yeah. Speaker 1 (4:18) Okay. So Speaker 2 (4:19) that was my thing. But I drank pretty much all the time in college. Speaker 1 (4:26) Okay. So I think it's safe to say you're drinking ramped up in college. Okay. Oh, Speaker 2 (4:31) yeah. You're Speaker 1 (4:31) away from home. You're drinking. When do things start to pick up and do you? stop for a moment at any time in college and say, maybe I may have a drinking problem or is it like everyone's doing the same? I'm just doing what everyone else is doing. It Speaker 2 (4:48) was pretty much everyone's doing the same. Speaker 1 (4:50) Yeah. But Speaker 2 (4:51) I will tell you, so after I went to school for the first year and then I just decided to work up there for like a semester and my parents wrote me a really mean letter like, We're done with you. You know, you're doing your own thing. You're off our insurance. Good luck. Blah, blah, blah. And they wrote me this horrible letter that would have been like in June, something like that. And then I actually ended up staying up there until like October because I had looked around. Everyone was going to class and stuff. I was working at McCrory's. If you ever heard of that, it's like Murphy's. Do you remember Murphy's? You can. assimilate it to the dollar general. Okay, Speaker 1 (5:37) got it. Speaker 2 (5:38) Kind of something like that. So I was working there. I was making enough to feed my drinking habit. I was making enough to pay rent. Actually, at one point, I lived in another house with like five other girls. And this was when I was still going to school. Speaker 2 (5:57) So, yeah, I lived in a house with five other girls and we used to have our own keg parties there to make money or whatever so that we could. Speaker 1 (6:06) Yeah, of course. I could Speaker 2 (6:07) drink for free. Yeah. You know, and plus we're making money or whatever. So anyways, yeah. So then I looked around and I was like, yeah, this ain't working. This isn't what I want to do. This isn't where I want to be. So I basically, you know, begged my mom and I always had an amazing relationship. And I didn't think so at the time, but my sisters used to say that to me. You're so lucky you and mom have such a great relationship. But my mom fought with my older sister all the time. Like every Saturday morning, I remember waking up to screaming, silverware being thrown, everything like that. And I watched that. So like, I didn't want. that to happen with my mom. So I think I lied to her a lot. Not I think, but, you know, just so that she didn't know what I was doing because I seen what happened with my sister. Speaker 1 (6:57) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (6:58) I was sneaky. Yeah. And lied a lot. Yeah. Unfortunately, I hate to admit that. But anyways, so yeah, when I was in college, then when it came like around October, I realized stuff wasn't working out and I needed to move back home. Speaker 1 (7:12) One thing I've learned in my own recovery is that you can't do this alone, and you don't have to. I know that firsthand. I went through inpatient treatment at Karen Treatment Centers, and it changed the course of my life. That's why I am proud to announce that I have partnered with Karen. For nearly 70 years, they've helped people and families not just break free from addiction, but actually heal and transform their lives. They're in network with all major insurance providers. And same day admission is available. So if you or someone you love is struggling, don't wait. Call Karen at 855-352-0103. That's 855-352-0103. Help starts with taking that first step. So you move back home? Speaker 2 (8:02) Yes. Speaker 1 (8:02) Okay. And then do you go to a community college near your home? Do you finish school or did you kind of hang it up? Or was it? Well, Speaker 2 (8:10) when I moved back home, I had dated the same guy through high school and then into college. He went to Clarion University. I went to Edinburgh. But like we were still dating, but like we really weren't. Like he was doing his own thing at Clarion. I was doing my own thing at Edinburgh. And if we happened to be home on the weekend, then, you know, we would. Speaker 1 (8:32) Get together. Yeah. Speaker 2 (8:34) But then so he had, I had moved back home. And I was trying to figure out what was going on with my life. I ended up getting a job like at Rite Aid. And I also worked at a breakfast place like in the morning because I need, I mean, I wasn't making anything at Rite Aid. Speaker 1 (8:54) And Speaker 2 (8:55) I wasn't making anything at the breakfast place. And I also was a waitress at a restaurant slash bar. Speaker 1 (9:01) So Speaker 2 (9:02) I was working there. And then he had moved home. In the meantime, and when I was working at that restaurant slash bar, one night, the bartender got really, really drunk behind the bar, which she used to do all the time anyways. But she got so drunk that the boss had enough of her. And he said, hey, Polly, why don't you come out and start tending bar for us? And I was like, I don't know anything. He said, well, if you don't know how to make it, your customers will tell you how to make it. Yeah, Speaker 1 (9:32) you'll learn. Speaker 2 (9:33) Yeah. So I was like, all right. So I started doing that. And I really like that. I mean, I'm a people person anyways. And alcohol is involved and fun and woohoo. I mean, pick me. So Speaker 1 (9:46) anyway, Speaker 2 (9:47) so I did that for a while. But then when my. Boyfriend at the time ended up moving back home. His family owned a restaurant slash bar. So I started, I quit those other three jobs and I just started working for him. And I was, I was making good money back then. I think I was making like in tips, like $700 in three days, you know? Speaker 1 (10:09) So, Speaker 2 (10:10) I mean, for me, that was good. Speaker 1 (10:12) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (10:13) I ended up moving in with him for Speaker 1 (10:15) a while. Okay. But you said he was living with his parents, right? So you moved in with him and his parents? No. Oh. No, Speaker 2 (10:21) he wasn't. I was living with my parents. Got it. Speaker 1 (10:24) I'm sorry for the confusion. He was at school Speaker 2 (10:25) and then he came home and he got an apartment above the restaurant slash bar. Got Speaker 1 (10:31) it. Okay. And I Speaker 2 (10:32) moved in with him. Oh my God. Speaker 1 (10:33) Right above the restaurant slash bar. Speaker 2 (10:35) Yeah. So I just had to go downstairs to go to work. Oh no. Speaker 1 (10:38) Yeah. Okay. You start working at that job. It's party on. You're living upstairs. Now, does the relationship with him start to get toxic? Speaker 2 (10:50) Yes. He was involved in a lot more things than I even knew about. I slowly but surely learned about. Speaker 1 (10:58) He Speaker 2 (10:59) was like doing, he was like a bookie. Speaker 1 (11:01) Oh, okay. Speaker 2 (11:02) And he also dabbled around a little bit. with drugs and that, but he didn't really want to ever share them with me. I did do cocaine with him a couple times, but it was, he didn't want to share with me. You know what I'm saying? Because that came out of his pocket. Speaker 1 (11:19) Smart man. No, I'm just kidding. Speaker 2 (11:21) Yeah. So, yeah. I Speaker 1 (11:23) wanted it all for myself back then. Speaker 2 (11:25) Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly how it was. So, but anyways, yeah, I used to like party all night long at the bars and restaurant. I would close the door down like at 1230, something like that. And we would stay there until four o'clock in the morning partying. Speaker 1 (11:41) And Speaker 2 (11:41) we had a lot of fun and every, um, my boss didn't really care that I drank. I drank the whole entire time that I was working and everybody knew this. And. I mean, we had a lot of fun. As long as the till came out at the end of the night. Everything was good. And apparently I'm good at math when I'm drinking. So, yeah. Speaker 1 (12:03) So when do things, how long do you end up staying with this guy for? Well, Speaker 2 (12:09) that came to an abrupt end one night when, um, it was in the middle of the afternoon and someone was pounding on the door. And when I answered the door, there was a gun pointed at my face. Yeah, exactly. And I didn't really know what was going on at the time or, I mean, it was just crazy. And I was like, he had owed somebody, some people some money. He was a bookie, like I said, and I was like, I have to get out of this relationship. So, but back while I was tending bar at that restaurant, this other gentleman. used to come in the bar all the time and like flirt with me. And, you know, I was flirting back with him. Like I said, my relationship with the guy that I was living with was absolutely crazy. He was more about himself and what he was doing. And I was just along for the ride when I was welcome. And so this other guy had started coming into the bar, which super impressed me because he was a single father with two children and he drank Diet Pepsi. Speaker 2 (13:16) So I was like, oh, you know, maybe this ain't so bad. You know, I thought he was a good looking guy. And, you know, I had respect for him because this was back in the early 90s. Like, how many guys do you know that had full custody of their kids? You know, it wasn't a common thing back then. So I was like, great dad material. Awesome. Awesome. So anyways, after the gun incident, I. Had reached out to this guy and told him what was going on and everything like that. And I ended up moving in with him. Speaker 1 (13:50) Wait, wait. Yeah. Speaker 2 (13:52) Yeah. It all went really fast. Speaker 1 (13:55) Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Gun gets pointed at your head with toxic boyfriend. You move out and you move in with dad. Speaker 2 (14:05) Another guy. Two Speaker 1 (14:06) kids. Okay. Interesting. I Speaker 2 (14:09) didn't want to go back home. Speaker 1 (14:11) No, I hear you. Because it Speaker 2 (14:12) was so strict. I hear you. And I couldn't drink like I wanted to. And I couldn't have fun. And so I didn't want to go back home. And I was like, this guy has good possibilities. Yeah. Speaker 1 (14:26) All right. How does that go? Speaker 2 (14:27) Not good at all. Speaker 1 (14:29) Oh, yeah. I knew it. All right. Go ahead. I Speaker 2 (14:32) ended up being with him. Geez. Speaker 2 (14:35) I think for like 15 years. I actually try not to think about it. Wow. So at first it was awesome. Speaker 1 (14:41) It's always great in the beginning. Yeah. Speaker 2 (14:43) For like our first two years, everything was great and all that stuff. He had to, they were, the boys were. Speaker 2 (14:52) Five and seven when I moved in there. Cute as pie. Love them to death. I still love them to death. We still have a relationship. I mean, I absolutely love them to death. But so when I started dating this guy, then he knew that I liked to drink. So then he pretended that he liked to drink. Well, little did I know when he was coming in to see me in the bar that I was working at, he would leave and. Like he always was. I got to run out to my car for a minute. Well, he was out there like slamming Captain Morgan, which I did not know about. You know what I'm saying? So he was drinking this whole time. But so then when I moved in with him, we had started off drinking slowly, like splitting a six pack. And then it was, well, let's split two six packs. And then it was like, let's get a case of beer and let's get a couple cases of beer for the week. And yeah. And he was. not a nice guy when he was drinking. Speaker 1 (15:53) And Speaker 2 (15:54) I was with him, yeah, for a long time. And he would go to work. And I was still tending bar for a while. down in Ridgeway where I was from, but I was living with him in a different town. And so I was still tending bar down there until one day that the guy that I was dating previously, my car, my brand new car got scratched on both sides with keys and all that. Speaker 1 (16:27) From ex-toxic boyfriend, gun in the face guy? Speaker 2 (16:30) I'm assuming. To this day, it's never been proven. I told the cops. They said this was before they had cameras everywhere. They said there's nothing we can do. So I was like, well, I can't be working here and having this happen and stuff like that. So I had moved to a little smaller town called Mount Jewett. And that's where I had moved in with this guy. Speaker 1 (16:51) So Speaker 2 (16:52) anyways, I was up there living. And then so then I started attending bar up there as well because that's what I was good at. Speaker 1 (16:58) And Speaker 2 (16:58) of course, my boss let me drink. while I was tending bar, as long as everything was going okay. Speaker 1 (17:05) So Speaker 2 (17:05) I did that forever and ever. And yeah, it was, it, it just kept getting crazier and crazier. Like I said, he wouldn't come home after work. I was, you know, since he had, he was the main provider for the family. I was raised in a household. My mother stayed home with us. She had little jobs on the side. Like where she babysat other people's kids, stuff like that. But she always respected my father because he was the main breadwinner. And that's how I was born and raised. So like I would cook dinner, dinner would be ready at six. He wouldn't roll in till like 9.30 at night, completely hammered. And if I was to say something to him, he got physically and mentally abusive. So I just, yeah, I put up with that for way too long. Speaker 1 (18:00) I'm sorry that you went through that. Mental and physical. Mental is just as bad as physical. Speaker 2 (18:05) Sometimes I think it's worse. Sometimes it could be worse, yeah. Physical goes away. That bruise on my arm, that goes away. Yeah. Speaker 1 (18:12) But Speaker 2 (18:12) the mental, he would just say the most horrible, meanest, meanest things to me that weren't true. Yeah. Just horrible things. Speaker 1 (18:20) Now, were you drinking at home while he was out too? So when he would come home. Okay. How Speaker 2 (18:25) else could I deal with him? At least that was my mentality. Yeah, that's where I was Speaker 1 (18:29) going. I was going to say like were you intoxicated for these altercations and whatnot? Yes. Which because, yes, you said you stayed in it for 15 years. So that probably enabled you to – no one can cope with that but just kind of roll with it. It makes it a little at least lighter than being sober. Speaker 2 (18:47) Right. Speaker 1 (18:48) In that situation. So, okay. Was there – Now, physical mental abuse is horrific. Was there any one specific night that really stood out to you during that relationship or a few times that- A Speaker 2 (19:04) few times. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, I remember one night we were out having a good time partying up in Olean, New York. And we had a great night, absolutely great night. And we came home and I don't know what it was that set him off or whatever. And he just like grabbed a hold of my shirt and just like ripped my shirt right open and right off of me. And I was like, and he locked the door of the house and he wasn't going to let me back in. Speaker 1 (19:39) So Speaker 2 (19:40) I went and I jumped in the car. that we were driving and he came out and was telling me to get out of the car and I'm like, no, no, I'm sleeping in the car. I have no place to go. And he's pounding on the car window and he's pounding and pounding and he broke the car window. And he told me to get the heck out of the car. He said, I don't care where you go, go. So I started walking uptown with no shirt on to our local police station. which, of course, the town that we live in is so small that the police station weren't even there. But before I left, I remember looking up and seeing his two little boys looking out their bedroom window watching this and looking at the look on their eyes. But I was like, and I was pound. So I went up to the police station and, of course, nobody was around. So I walked back home. It wasn't far from my house. It was less than a half a mile. So it wasn't like I was strolling through the midst of town. No, unless somebody was up at two o'clock in the morning, nobody was seeing me. Small town. Speaker 1 (20:50) Yeah. So Speaker 2 (20:50) anyways, and I came back home and I remember pounding on the door, pounding on the door and his kids had come down and I'm like, please, please let me in, let me in. And they're like, we can't because they were scared of their father as well. My God. And they were like, we can't, we can't. Well, then finally their dad ended up passing out and then they let me in the house. But so there was that. Speaker 1 (21:13) Okay. So you stayed with him for about 15 years. So if my math is correct, we're probably in like 2005, 2006. Speaker 2 (21:21) Yeah. But we have to head back to 1999. Speaker 1 (21:25) All right. Go back to 1999. Back Speaker 2 (21:26) in my bartending days, like I told you, I was always allowed to drink. So I was bartending in another town at that point. And friends of mine had come in, a gentleman who had just sold me that brand new car that I told you that got keyed on both sides. So him and I were hanging out. And with his business, he used to drive around the vehicles that he was selling. So he would drive them around town to show them off. And people would see him and like, hey, I want that