90 Day: Hunt For Love 0201 “The Girl Who Got the Ick“

Reality Gays with Mattie and Poodle

The hosts of Reality Gays review the premiere of 90 Day Fiancé: Hunt for Love Season 2, breaking down the chaotic first night in Puerto Rico and the show's

Key takeaways

• Jamal hooks up with Emma just days before filming begins, igniting immediate drama when his best friend Rob is revealed as her secret ex.
• Chloe Goetz returns with a strict 'ick' list and emotional armor after being manipulated by a past serial cheater, which the hosts view as protective but potentially isolating.

Main topics

• 90 Day Fiancé: Hunt for Love Season 2 premiere review
• Cast drama and bro-code violations (Jamal, Emma, Rob)

Notable quotes

"I'm a man who really cares about my family. I took care of my grandma and my mom."

Conclusion

The episode delivers chaotic, drama-heavy television that leans heavily on

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) Jamal, so I'm aware of my actions and I'm trying to fix them as a fuck boy, but I've matured a lot these last few years. Also, Jamal, hey, I know we hooked up like two days ago, but be cool about this. And I definitely don't want to hook up with you, the girl that my best homie has been hooking up with. Also, I want the necklace back. But I'm not a fuck boy. Speaker 2 (0:26) Yes, that's what I'm saying. Hello, this is Captain Poodle speaking. Are you ready to find love? Yes, ahoy, matey. Speaker 2 (0:38) Love. Speaker 3 (0:42) Exciting and new Speaker 2 (0:46) Go Speaker 3 (0:46) online. Speaker 3 (0:49) Mmm, they're catfishing you. Speaker 2 (0:53) Shocker. Speaker 2 (0:57) Soon you'll be flying to parts unknown. 90 day Beyonce. Marrying someone you've only met on Speaker 3 (1:08) your phone. Be they French or Chinese, a brand new K1 visa's the key. The key to Speaker 2 (1:17) what, poodle? To love. Speaker 2 (1:22) It's reality, yes, let's vlog! Speaker 2 (1:30) What a mess. I'm still attracted to him too. Really? Oh, I'd give it to him in a second. Even after all the things that you see. Yes, I would. I would. Speaker 2 (1:47) It's a problem. It's a problem. Yeah. Just sit in that. Speaker 3 (1:52) Even if, even though you see him do Speaker 2 (1:54) things Speaker 3 (1:54) that are like, like awful. Make women look like they're crazy. Silly. Speaker 2 (2:02) Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. Speaker 2 (2:05) Maybe you should process that. Well, you know what? I do enough for women. Just let me fuck Jamal once, please. He's never going to fuck you. He's never going to fuck me. But he's going to fuck every girlfriend I know. Y'all, this is Reality Gaze. I'm Matty. And Speaker 3 (2:23) I'm Poodle. And we are two ridiculous homosexuals who love nothing more than tearing reality television, a new one, and especially this messy, gross, STD-ridden Speaker 2 (2:36) piece of shit. Puerto Rico, fuck island. Y'all, this is 90 Day Fiance, Hunt for Love, season two, episode one, The Girl Who Got the Ick. So Speaker 3 (2:48) we're going to do, continue on with The Girl Who, The Boy Who. Sure. Yeah. Did Speaker 2 (2:55) they do that last season or Speaker 3 (2:56) something? Oh, they did. We've Speaker 2 (2:57) already forgotten it. Do you think I remember the titles from Hunt for Love for a year ago? You remember a gimmick. No, Speaker 3 (3:05) there are so many I don't. Speaker 2 (3:07) all. Why would I? Well, people, things stick in people's heads. Not mine. I know. Not mine. Kind of beautiful that way. I'll take it. Or incoming it for me. Either way. Speaker 3 (3:23) But I'm a workhorse. Just pile it on. Pile it on. Speaker 3 (3:29) Someone's got Speaker 2 (3:30) to do it. Speaker 2 (3:32) You know, and you're so gracious about it, too. Speaker 3 (3:34) I know, right? Speaker 2 (3:35) Right, right. Oh, y'all. Okay, you're in luck. We're not going to do a lot of announcements today because Poodle's got a hard out. So we got to make sure we get everything Speaker 3 (3:44) in. Speaker 2 (3:44) Somebody get a hard in. Well, exactly. Y'all, big news this week. Coming later this week is our interview with who, Poodle? Kara! Literally dropped in our lap. In-person interview. TLC reached out to us. You Speaker 3 (3:58) know what this Speaker 2 (3:58) is? Yeah. Speaker 3 (3:59) What? The second installment of Reality Gaze Expose. Speaker 2 (4:02) I'm starting to like it, actually. Actually, I am. Speaker 3 (4:05) Christina, make sure you put an accent a-gu at the end of the E Speaker 2 (4:10) because that makes it expose instead of expose. Don't. Excuse me? Don't demand things, Christina. Speaker 3 (4:17) I'm just asking for a spelling. I'm not asking for a sound effect. Speaker 2 (4:23) Or a visual something. Christina, I'm going to need poodles expose echoed or you're fired. Speaker 3 (4:29) Expose with an accent aigu that goes from the low left to the upper right. I'm sorry. Let Speaker 2 (4:39) me hear. I just like to be correct. Well, that doesn't usually happen for either of us. I know. We do trade. Yeah, but we're very excited. We will be talking to Kara about all of Speaker 3 (4:54) it. Speaker 2 (4:54) It always goes on YouTube first for the interviews because we're not held to a different schedule with the way we drop episodes. It'll go to our YouTube and our RG Plus members first, and then it will. But I think we'll actually be able to put it all out on Saturday. It Speaker 3 (5:09) should Speaker 2 (5:09) be. So Speaker 3 (5:10) it should all be there. Speaker 2 (5:12) Anything else? I think it's an embarrassment of riches this week or whatever. We got toe and. Life after lock, or say love after lockup, relationship rehab. First episode of that dropped last week. If you want to listen to the second episode, y'all, that's on the cringe tier. So you got to jump to the $8 tier of RG Plus, available on patreon.com or Supercast, which is reality. No more Speaker 3 (5:37) double Speaker 2 (5:37) wives anyway. No more double wives or also Apple subscriptions. Just click that one button and you will get all of our audio content, including Lalu there as well. Speaker 2 (5:49) And yeah, so, and we'll be sure to keep checking our socials because we will be, next week we're going to a Lalu event. So we'll let you know how that goes. It's all happening. Finally, things are coming to LA. Everything's been into New York. We've had to fly out there. Actually, it's really fun. But still. It's five hours. Speaker 3 (6:12) Five Speaker 2 (6:12) and a half. Really? Speaker 3 (6:13) Well, on the way back. Five going there. Yeah. Speaker 2 (6:16) Like 445. Speaker 3 (6:18) You count every second, Speaker 2 (6:19) don't you? Speaker 3 (6:20) I feel it. I feel every single second pass. You don't? I experience life as it passes. Like I can feel, that's like when you're going on rambling about nothing. I feel each second passes like I can feel it running over me. Oh, that makes me feel good. That Speaker 2 (6:38) makes Speaker 3 (6:38) me Speaker 2 (6:39) feel good. Speaker 3 (6:39) But you're like a goldfish or like a dog that leaves. You leave their dog and their dog is like, Speaker 2 (6:45) oh, eight hours have been by? I just thought it was 10 minutes. Speaker 3 (6:49) Yeah. No, I feel every single second, every minute. Speaker 2 (6:53) All right. What do you think so far with this cast? What kind of, you know, kind of the first initial thoughts of this first episode? Speaker 2 (7:02) I think they did a really good job. I think so too. This is, by the way, y'all, this is a two-hour episode. Next week will be a two-hour and then it will go. I do think the show is better as an hour show. Me too. I... Speaker 3 (7:14) What I don't understand is how... I understand that we need to be talking about finding love forever, but they found the people who are least likely to do that. Oh Speaker 2 (7:29) boy. Speaker 3 (7:30) And I guess it's that it's those competing principles that I don't really understand. Cause I could have actually understood some of the people on season one getting together or getting together. I could have seen those people finding. their person. These people, I don't see that at all. That's why I, that's a really good point. I, that's why it doesn't feel, and y'all, you can just say the show doesn't feel serious, but the way that they are messaging the show feels all the more serious. That is true. That is my, that is my one bone to pick with it is everyone, especially Emma, who seems actually. mentally ill this season. As you could argue, she was probably mentally ill her first season. Speaker 2 (8:22) Well, yes, y'all. We are not, haven't been Emma fans. Never have been. I think she can. I think this is the same wig. I think this is the same Speaker 1 (8:31) fucking wig that she went Speaker 2 (8:33) to Speaker 3 (8:33) Morocco. Still Speaker 1 (8:34) got sand Speaker 3 (8:34) in it. Speaker 2 (8:36) Poodle, it's fall. Maddie, it's 95 degrees in Los Angeles today. I don't care. It's fall on the calendar. So I'm wearing a sweater, watching Hocus Pocus, and I'm drinking a hot pumpkin spice latte. You are the human equivalent of a decorative gourd from Target. Puffy, misshapen, and basic. I just want to feel cozy. And in fall, it's all about the comfy layers you wear. And can you blame me for wanting a little crisp air, a candle that smells like cider, ooh, and maybe a man named Graham asking if I want another log on the fire? The only log you're getting is that king-size Snickers bar you'll be eating alone on Halloween. You don't know my life. But what about mornings and evenings? They do get cooler here in California. And poodle, I want layers that look good without feeling like I'm auditioning for Little House on the Prairie WeHo. Got it. You need clothes Speaker 3 (9:24) that work when it's chilly at 8 a.m., then something you can take off when it's hotter than 40 hells by lunch, and then for the evening, something autumnal and emotionally desperate. God, it's like you've read my planner. It's not that complex. But Maddie, this one time, I'm going to help you. Also, I have a date, so I need to wrap this up. Girl, just use quints. They have fall staples you'll actually want to wear on repeat that look effortless and chic. like their 100 % Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $60 or their Bella Speaker 2 (9:52) Stretch barrel jeans for $50. Oh, I do love a barrel jean paired with a Quince organic cotton oversized sweater. Sounds butch. Speaker 3 (10:01) And Speaker 2 (10:01) when it gets Speaker 3 (10:02) really chilly, Quince has premium down jackets and classic wool outerwear, versatile layers designed to keep you warm and comfortable all Speaker 2 (10:09) season long. Oh yes, layers. With quints, I can wear my favorite breathable flow knit shirt for when it's warm, but when it gets cooler, I can throw on my quints super soft cashmere hoodie. I'm going to look like one of those leading men in a Hallmark movie. Sure, if Speaker 3 (10:25) someone takes an eight ball and squints. But yes, quints never lets you down no matter what season. I've got my eye on their suede bomber jacket. It's perfect for layering and it's casual but still looks put together. No one will ever know I spent 45 minutes trying on 15 different shirts. Let Speaker 2 (10:40) me guess. You and Daddy are planning a Top Gun role play. I feel the need. The need for... No, no, no. Please don't finish that sentence. Sissies, have you tried quints? Because if not, what are you waiting for? The quality is fantastic, and because Quince works directly with ethical factories, they are able to cut out the middleman and pass the savings on to you. They bring you premium quality for about 50 % to 80 % less than similar brands. And their quality is the real Speaker 3 (11:07) deal. Quince has become one of my go-tos, not just for clothes, but for bedding, bath, cookware, and travel accessories. You can finally have sheets that don't feel like they were last used during Cher's farewell tour. Wait, which Cher farewell tour? There was her living proof farewell tour. No, not that Cher farewell tour. I Speaker 2 (11:27) meant her tour after that, the dress to kill farewell tour. But then she had her other tour after that called the here we go again farewell tour. So technically she had three Cher farewell tours. Snap out of it. You're getting us down a gay wormhole. Sorry. I have a date. Get on with it. Sissies, layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Reality Gaze. It's the best way to support the show. Speaker 3 (12:10) La-da-da, ti-da-da-da-da Poodle, Speaker 2 (12:13) what's got you singing this morning? Did your nemesis pass away? Speaker 3 (12:17) Sadly, Maddie, Kristen Stewart is still very much alive. I'll never forgive her for stealing that daughter role from me in Panic Room! No, today I will not be rageful, as I'm doing my favorite thing in the world. Speaker 2 (12:29) Well, you're not wearing a harness or a pup mask, so that just leaves... Oh, no. Wedding planning! Poodle, I didn't even know you were seeing anyone. But since I've been saving so much moolah lately Speaker 3 (12:42) with rocket money, I figure I should just put down a down payment for the wedding venue of my dreams. After all, the groom is incidental. I can find one of those by next week. Ooh, San Juan Capistrano. In December? Hmm. Do you think I could still go backless without Speaker 2 (12:57) catching a chill? Wow. Well, Poot, you're right about one thing there. Rocket Money can help you save money by tracking your subscriptions and helps you cancel the unwanted ones with just a few taps. Rocket Money just alerted me that my internet bill was too much, so I uploaded my bill and with a few clicks they saved me $40 a month. Speaker 3 (13:17) Oh, and sissies, I don't know if you're like me. They're Speaker 2 (13:20) not. Speaker 3 (13:21) But as a busy working Speaker 2 (13:22) mom of three... You're not a woman and you don't have children. As I was saying, Speaker 3 (13:27) I sometimes forget I already registered for a service under one alias. You mean email Speaker 2 (13:32) address. Speaker 3 (13:33) Sure. And then I'll sign up for it again with a different alien... I mean email. I'm getting double charged! Speaker 2 (13:40) And not in a good way. Speaker 3 (13:41) Oh, grrrr! But all this was righted when Rocket Money told me I was paying twice for frailgaygeezers.net and helped me cancel it with just a few taps. Since then, Rocket Money's been like a strong, swarthy, sweaty butcher. Helping me trim all my fiscal and financial fat. Are we still talking about money? Money! That's right! Besides helping you cancel unwanted subscriptions, Rocket Money consolidates your checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give you a clear view of your financial picture. And with all the money I'm saving, this girl's financial picture is looking rosy. Speaker 2 (14:24) Maddie, what do you think about a destination wedding in the Maldives? The Maldives? I've always wanted to go there. You're not invited. I just asked you what you thought about it. You got to stay home and do the podcast. Always a bridesmaid. Sissies, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash realitygaze. That's rocketmoney.com slash realitygaze. rocketmoney.com slash realitygaze. I got to say what I didn't expect. Speaker 2 (15:04) It was like. Speaker 2 (15:07) I don't know. Like if you're a straight person like Rocky or like for me, my little gay thing, it's kind of like Ratatouille, that rat dreams of being a chef and they work so hard and they go in and out of kitchens and then they, you know, they, and then at the end they become a chef and you feel so happy for that little Ratatouille. Yeah. Speaker 3 (15:31) I think the name was Remy. The rat's name was not Ratatouille. The rat's name Speaker 2 (15:37) was Remy. Yes. Did Speaker 3 (15:39) you think the Speaker 2 (15:41) rat's name was Ratatouille? I didn't remember that. I didn't remember that. But I'm trying to say it's like Rocky or like. The movie Rocky, not the cast member. Yes. Or like, oh, like fucking Hidden Figures where Taraji P. Henson finally gets the recognition for being a NASA smart scientist, whatever. That's how I felt watching Michael walk into this. Oh, that's true. If anyone has played the long game, this is an inspiration. Speaker 3 (16:15) I can't. Eight years, y'all. Eight years with Angela. Speaker 2 (16:20) With that weekly cigarette of a woman. Now, to be fair, Speaker 3 (16:25) I Speaker 2 (16:25) think Speaker 3 (16:25) he loved her for at least four to five of those. I agree. Speaker 2 (16:29) I agree. I think a lot of people that put up with abuse really love someone. Yeah. And then they finally realize they can't anymore. Yeah. And Michael's been working out. He's got a type. He's got a type. He likes butt and boobs. He likes the moves. Brittany's boobs look Speaker 3 (16:47) painful, though. They look like they hurt. She Speaker 2 (16:50) seems... She seems much more at ease in who she Speaker 3 (16:54) is. Speaker 2 (16:54) She's kind of fun. I think it's the Speaker 3 (16:56) bisexuality. I think Speaker 2 (16:57) the bisexuality, yeah. I Speaker 3 (16:59) enjoyed watching her. She seems a lot... A lot more low-key and more fun. I think she understands. Yes. Speaker 2 (17:11) Understands what she's here for. Speaker 1 (17:12) Well, Speaker 2 (17:13) I think she understands nobody's got a completely foreign religion and culture that she did no Googling about. Speaker 3 (17:20) Right. I also think that. I don't... I don't, did Emma watch the first season of this and think this is where I'm going to find my love? Speaker 2 (17:32) Or is she Speaker 3 (17:33) just nuts? Speaker 2 (17:34) She's Delulu. I would say, though, there is a little bit, though, of a guy making a woman look crazy. Totally. And there's a lot of that from Jamal. No, he made her Speaker 3 (17:48) look Speaker 2 (17:48) nuts. Also, it didn't help that Jamal was drunker than Cooter Brown. Did you notice he was like, hey, I need my echo back. Speaker 2 (17:59) Yeah, because I've got to have a skimmy tip. Questionary again. Connie. It was bad, y'all. He was real drunk. Speaker 3 (18:10) And you're still into him after all this? Speaker 2 (18:12) Oh, yes. Oh. When I met him, he hugged me and kissed the top of my head. Speaker 2 (18:20) But that... I'm powerless! But that makes... And he smelled good. Speaker 2 (18:28) But that's all it takes. Yes. And then, and when you really Speaker 3 (18:31) will Speaker 2 (18:31) settle for crumbs, when you look up at Jamal, y'all, this is why he's a good fuck boy. And I will tell you from experience, and you probably could attest to this too. When he looks at you, he does that thing that I totally agree with you that make you feel gay, straight man, woman, puppy, gecko, whatever. You're the Speaker 3 (18:51) only, Speaker 2 (18:51) you're the Speaker 3 (18:52) only fucking gecko in the room. The issue here is. I've seen it so many times and now I kind of, I've lost all Speaker 2 (19:02) my patience for it. Well, and then it was starting to wane and then I got all this sympathy for him going through all this freaking shit he went through with his mom lying to him and him not trusting his mother and having a brother and a sister. Speaker 2 (19:18) Can't go there with you. I'm sorry. Speaker 3 (19:20) It's not great. I'll never forget when we were in New York, y'all, and they were filming the tell-all. Jamal was literally, I heard someone behind me talking. I was like, I know that voice. And we were both going down Speaker 2 (19:35) to meet hookups in the hotel lobby. And then the next day, I wingman him. Because he saw me in the lobby and I weaned at him trying to hook up with this other girl. And you had to talk to his mother. And I had to talk to his mother on FaceTime so he could talk to the girl. You Speaker 3