1041. Q&AF: Developing Leadership Qualities, Defense Or Offense & Aiming High Vs Being Realistic

REAL AF with Andy Frisella

Andy Frisella answers listener questions on leadership, personal accountability, and the mindset needed to achieve greatness. He emphasizes leading by example, servant leadership, and the importance of taking initiative over waiting for permission.

Key takeaways

• Leadership is a role, not a title
• Lead by example—do what you ask others to do
• Great leaders serve their teams and empower them

Transcript preview

We're from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck up bowl fuck a stove counted millions in a cold bad bitch booty swo swo got a own bank row can't fold just a no headshot case clothes what is up guys it's handy for selling this is the show for the realist say goodbye to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome the motherfucking reality guys today we have Q and a f that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers You can submit your questions a couple different ways. DJ will tell you how. Yeah guys you can email your questions in to ask Andy and Andy forseller.com you guys can also click the link in the description below submit them there or just drop them in the comment section of the Q&A videos right here on YouTube. You guys know how it works. We're gonna have shows within the show throughout the week we're gonna have probably CTI. I'm gonna hit you with the special 4th of July CTI this week. We know we've been you know on and off schedule but I have other to be done. I'm not a full-time podcaster contrary to what the internet thinks. There is a fee for the show. The fee is very simple. Share the show, man. All right, we don't do ads on this show. We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't do ads. And the reason we don't do ads is because I don't want people thinking that I'm getting paid to say anything. So it's very simple. If the show makes you think it makes you laugh, it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, if you learn something, Share the show. All right. What's up? My brother. Yeah. No shit man. What are you about to start race right? Yeah my back called me Malcolm X L. Malcolm X L. It's not funny. Malcolm X X L. That's not funny. Malcolm X X L. Oh no, come on man. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. What's going on though, man. Nothing. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. What do you mean? Like I just wake up and shit's just fucked up dude. What is that? Oh, you don't even know. I don't even want to hear that. I don't even want to hear that. I don't even want to hear that. I don't even want to hear that. I don't even want to hear it. Like, it sucks. I don't want to. I don't know. I can hurt myself from sleeping. Yeah. I don't know. I can't know. I'm age. Is that what it is. Well, life is ageist. Yeah. No, sweet man. How you doing? Good. Yeah. We got a busy weekend. Yeah. A lot of great things happening here. Yes, sir. And we're here on a, you guys are listening on a Monday to get better. Yeah, before we get started, just to let you guys know, we are in QT again. A lot of you guys been asking about QT, we are, you will find form energy in QT, along with the form ready to, the full lineup back in QT just letting you guys know that important announcement that's great announcement yeah it's great I do I like I like quick trip yeah the tequinos yeah I know I know dude I know I know I know I know dude I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know cuteies like food is good is good I've never had chicken tenders it didn't need sauce I have I have regular people taste. That's right. QT and Casey's Pizza and that's what I love dude. I love that shit. Oh it's just good shit. It's terrible. I got to be careful. I got to be careful because dude I'll gain 30 pounds in a fucking weekend. Yeah. Easy. Easy. Easy. So like we're yeah man man. Yeah man man. Yeah man, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Guys it's Monday. Yeah, it's Monday. So as always. So as always. So as always, I got. Let's make some people better today. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, preference, this is leadership question. Andy, I'm 31, and I supervise about 15 people at work. Lately, I've been asking myself a question that I can't shake. If I worked for me, would I actually want to follow me? Not because I'm mean or unfair, but because I don't always live up to the standards I expect from other people. How do you become the kind of of leader that other people naturally want to follow instead of someone who's just in charge? Well, I mean, first of all, the fact that you're aware of this is a really good sign because most terrible leaders, they believe they're great leaders. The worst leaders on the earth believe they're the best leaders on the earth. It's no different than when you go into a meeting and you know, you need the team to perform and you say, hey, we're not doing good enough, we got to do this and this and this. The people. The people who are already. will feel like you're talking to them. And then the people who aren't doing shit are like, oh, he's not talking to me. Definitely not talking to me. Right? So the fact that you're aware of your leadership weaknesses is a great sign. And you should always be auditing your ability to be an effective leader by examining your own leadership, capability, style techniques. So first thing I'll tell you is like the fact that you're even considering or asking the question tells me that you have the capacity to be a great leader, all right? Because most people don't do that. I think you're asking yourself a great question, okay? If I was led by me, would I want to follow me? That's a great question to ask yourself. The deep one, dude. Yeah, for sure, and it's honest. It's a real thing. And if you can effectively answer that in a non-bias way, you're going to develop as a great leader, okay. But the question was, how do I develop, how do I develop, how do I develop? How do I look the greatest leaders in the world Understand that leadership is not about authority. It's an equally as important position on the team to the mission at hand Okay So they don't look at it like well. I'm the leader so you gotta do what I say They look at it like. behind them have other roles and if we're all rowing and synchronicity we'll get where we want to go. So understanding that leadership is not a position of authority as much as it is a role on a team that has to be executed effectively to produce the outcome is the way that leaders should think about leading. Okay? Your job is to not know all the answers. Your job is to be able to understand what the right answer is to understand what the right answer is to answer may be even if it doesn't come from you. This is called servant leadership. All right? My job is to help them develop. It's to help us figure out the path and it's for me to choose the path and then help them develop into the people that can effectively move us towards the path so that we all get the outcome that we're after. And people don't think of it like that. Bad leaders think of it as like, oh, well, I'm the leader. You gotta listen. I say and they don't even really think about anything other than that. Like that's not leadership bro you're just a douche bag you know so there's a lot of things that come into great leaders you know you need to be willing to do the things that you ask your team to do you need to be able to do them effectively now if you're a great great leader you're gonna be surrounded by people who can do the job that you ask them to do much better than you could do it but you should still be willing to do it right if you're bad at it in front of the whole team, you should be willing to do that job or at least do your best to do the job. You know, living the standard that you ask from your team, you know, Vince Lombardi has a very famous quote that leading by example isn't the best way to lead, it's the only way to lead. And what that means is, is like if you're not living the standard, if you're not willing to hold yourself accountable to the same standards that hold the team, nobody's going to believe anything that you say anything that you say, you say, you say, you say, you say. You can't lie to your team. You can't tell them you're going to do shit that you're not going to do. You can't say, hey, we're going to go do these things. And when we get here, this will happen and then not follow through. And these are all things that create bad teams because the leader is ineffective. You know, I mean, dude, there's a million things. But at the end of the day, you know, leadership is not about a understanding at the forefront of your focus, all of the other things tend to work themselves out. Okay, so instead of looking at yourself like, I'm the leader, I'm the man, I'm the boss, I'm the this, you need to be looking at yourself like, I am entrusted with this duty and obligation to get us where we need to go. And I may not always have the best ideas. Maybe my team could see something that I can't see. Like if you're a general general, and you're not willing to listen to the guys on the front line you're gonna get people killed right a lot of leaders won't do that they think they know best they think they know everything you know and really dude it's about squashing ego it's about understanding that the mission comes first the team comes first and then you investing in the team and empowering the team to accomplish that mission whatever that might be so you know it's fundamentally different than what most people think most people get to a job promoted, they get a little pay raise, and then it's the first time they ever had authority in any situation in her life, and they like to flex it. And that's not what being a great leader is about. Everybody hates that kind of leader. Like you want to talk about a leader that your team run through fucking walls? That's the guy who they know and trust is trying to get us to this destination. And that's the difference between good and effective leaders and people who fucking suck. It's really just about how they view the role. You know I don't view my role as a leader in any of my companies as a superior place to anybody else even though technically yes it is a in the hierarchy it is a position of authority but that's not how I look at it