S13 EP21: Sneaky Sasquatch

Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe

Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe recount their recent trip to a Spotify conference in Stockholm, sharing anecdotes about meeting Louis Therou

Key takeaways

• Josh is attempting to avoid weekend and evening touring dates to prioritize family time.
• The hosts played a game in Stockholm involving saying 'Sneaky Sasquatch' around Louis Theroux.

Main topics

• Stockholm Spotify Conference
• Touring and Work-Life Balance

Notable quotes

I don't do Saturdays.

Conclusion

A comedic exploration of the intersection between professional travel

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) This episode is presented by TUI. Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh. Oh, you've got to love it. Speaker 2 (0:05) Who wouldn't love it, Rob? You know what the problem with the holidays Speaker 1 (0:07) is, right? You don't get enough of them. That's the problem. Exactly. Speaker 2 (0:10) So you need to make the most of your holiday, which is why TUI Speaker 1 (0:12) gives you more. So that's got to be easy booking for incredible destinations with amazing hotels that offer all the things you love. Perfect beaches, mouth-watering food, on-site splash parks, wellness centres, swim-up suites, and fun stuff for the kids. And now you can get even more by joining the brand new TUI... Smiles Rewards Club for free. We're talking members only deals, personalised rewards from TUI and some of their brilliant partners and plenty of chances to win amazing prizes. Love it. Get more from your holiday book now and Speaker 2 (0:42) discover the TUI Smiles Rewards Club at tui.co.uk. Atoll and Abta protected. Speaker 2 (0:50) Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Speaker 1 (0:53) Edward, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Wiggum? Josh Wiggum. Josh what? Josh Wiggum. Way to go. Good boy. Well done, buddy. There you go. Well done, buddy. Right. Hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Here's my cheeky and very accident-prone boy, Edward, saying your names. He's... Exactly three years old when we recorded this. In true parenting health tradition, recorded this mid-bath, much to the amusement of his seven-year-old sister, Alice. I've been listening since day one and can honestly say your podcast got me through some really tricky times. We had trying to have a second child before Edward arrived, so it feels amazing to finally send this in. I know, Rob, you have done a couple of Australian tours, and I know, Josh, you're tempted, but if you're ever in the area, I would recommend a visit to the lovely... Melbourne Derbyshire, which is the Australian one, is named after. I can't promise sunshine, but can promise lots of pubs, friendly people and picturesque village. Keeping sex in label, Emma, 486 months from Melbourne Derbyshire. Unfortunately not the Australian one. Speaker 2 (1:56) Oh, right, I got confused. Okay, so there's a Melbourne in Derbyshire. Looks pretty. Yeah. I'm going to go back to Speaker 1 (2:02) Australia. I'm thinking about going back for a holiday slash work. Are you going to work again? Well, the plan would be to go... It Speaker 2 (2:10) was a Speaker 1 (2:10) long time. I think, and I think listeners will agree with this. Okay. That if I had spoken as publicly as you did within the last year, by publicly, I mean on this podcast. Yeah. about how you're going to have a real break from touring and stand-up. Yeah. And within a year, you are clearly drifting back towards it at top pace. I Speaker 2 (2:40) think Speaker 1 (2:40) it's fair to say you would have hauled me over the coals. Speaker 2 (2:45) Would you agree Speaker 1 (2:46) on that, Michael? Speaker 2 (2:47) Yeah, 100%. I agree. But there's a sort of inevitability Speaker 1 (2:50) to it all. Speaker 2 (2:52) That's why people listen, because we Speaker 1 (2:55) say something and they're already sat there going... You would have. Let's be honest. If this was me, Rob, you'd be going, you can't be doing this, Josh. You can't be doing this. Speaker 2 (3:04) I mean, look. Speaker 1 (3:05) I agree. It doesn't feel that long ago that you were living on an industrial estate outside Coventry. Leicester. Let's get the facts right, okay? Okay, Leicester. And Speaker 2 (3:14) Coventry as well. I did both of them, to be fair. Look, to be honest, I'm definitely... I can't not do something. I just realized it. I've got to accept that I've got this little ball of energy in me that just goes. And I have to channel it somewhere. Because if I don't, I'll end up in a pub or a bookies. I can just sense it. So I might as well, but it's about, you can't chop the legs off a racehorse, but you can put it on a safe track. Is that the saying? Speaker 1 (3:40) Okay. So how's the, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're just going to keep it low key, book a tour to Australia. Speaker 2 (3:46) No, no, no. So we want to go to Australia anyway, but we thought in a way to make it more efficient money-wise, if I do a tour at the end, my flights are tight. Speaker 1 (3:59) You know, the world's really bad, right? You've done hundreds of dates. Yeah, yeah. And, you know. Really, when you go on holiday, you want to make it efficient. So you want to build it around a tour. If I'm already out Speaker 2 (4:13) there, then I can just do a couple of weeks of gigging while I'm there and then come back. But you could just do those gigs at home and Speaker 1 (4:19) then... For more money, probably. For more money, probably. Speaker 2 (4:22) And then go and spend that Speaker 1 (4:23) on a family holiday to Australia. It was Speaker 2 (4:26) basically a coffeed up ADHD chat in the car on the way to some friends at the weekend, right? This has not been booked. It's not going in. But I do agree. I am not implementing. I Speaker 1 (4:36) agree with the first Speaker 2 (4:37) of those. It's not been booked. Well, should I tell you what I did last week in my autumn of doing nothing? Yeah. So we did podcast last Monday. We did four hours podcast in the morning. In the afternoon, I filmed for my golf YouTube channel. Speaker 1 (4:51) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:52) And the next day we filmed all day in London for the podcast. Then we flew to Stockholm. On Wednesday, we was at a conference for work all day. We Speaker 1 (5:00) will cover this because it's Speaker 2 (5:02) fun to have. Thursday, I had to do a couple of Zooms. Not much, though. A bit of a half day. Friday, I went to Bristol to do a corporate in an aircraft hangar that had a Concorde in it. Speaker 1 (5:13) Okay. Yeah. Speaker 2 (5:15) But I had Saturday and Sunday off. So I am working less in the evenings and at home at the weekends. That's key. Okay. Not working at all isn't the problem, but that is still quite a lot of work. But it's the evenings and weekends that's the killer. It's not working. It's the being away for weekends and evenings. Okay. Speaker 1 (5:38) So I would say a tour is crucially evenings or weekends. Yeah, Speaker 2 (5:46) yeah, yeah. So that's what the chat was about. How do I tour? There's been talks of the matinee man, which, you Speaker 1 (5:54) know. It's going to be problematic Speaker 2 (5:57) if you only ever do two o'clock on Fridays. Yeah, I Speaker 1 (6:00) don't think. Speaker 2 (6:01) Here's my plan to just do Thursdays Speaker 1 (6:03) and Speaker 2 (6:03) Fridays. Okay. Speaker 1 (6:05) But do you know what, Rob? I'm going to play this out. This is a phone call. This is not necessarily your agent, but like someone at the agency who's booking the tour. The thing is, Rob, right? You're going up to Manchester Thursday, Friday. You're doing these gigs. are you really going to want to travel up to Liverpool the following Thursday or Friday? Or while you're up there, we could just get the Liverpool ones done Saturday and Sunday and then they're done. And then you don't have to travel up. It's just more efficient. No, Speaker 2 (6:39) because if I just do... Or I'll do Tuesday, Wednesday. Speaker 1 (6:44) No, but you're going into the weekend, Rob. is that you can do the matinees as well. I'm just so in denial, Speaker 2 (6:51) aren't I? I'm so in denial about what I am. And what I am is a fucking touring clown that has to be there on a Saturday because that's when normal people want to go out. And I'm not going to do it. Speaker 1 (7:02) Thursday, Fridays, that's it. I'd love to do matinee, man. Okay, so you're not going to do Saturdays and Sundays on this next talk? Speaker 2 (7:10) That's the plan, because if I get home late on a Friday... No, Speaker 1 (7:13) no, no. Sorry? That's the plan. Sorry, I'm going to have to... LAUGHTER Speaker 1 (7:21) I haven't had a discussion with my promoters yet. But they'll be fine because that's your red line. Speaker 2 (7:30) Yeah, that's my line in the sand, actually, why the kids are young. I don't do Saturdays. Okay, fine. Yeah, sorry if I've got boundaries, actually. No, it's definitely not Saturday. Maybe some Saturday. Speaker 2 (7:45) No, I do find Saturdays are hard going. It's better to do, no, Sundays. Speaker 1 (7:51) The Speaker 2 (7:51) worst is a Sunday night because if you get home Monday, you're into another week already. You do need that little reset on a Sunday. You might do Saturdays. No, I can't do Saturdays. Speaker 1 (8:01) What we talk about is I'm not doing Speaker 2 (8:03) any of that. Speaker 1 (8:04) Okay, fine. Have you got any gigs in? Oh, someone's calling. Oh, hang on. One second. Oh. Is it your tour promoter? Speaker 2 (8:12) No, but I'm getting a... Right, sorry, this is quite parenting helly. First of all, do you like my new backdrop? Yeah, you can barely see it. Yeah, second of all, do you want to chat about that while I quickly go and take the delivery of a car? What? Thanks. Right, I'll be back in about two minutes. I think someone's at the front. I could just double check. Sorry, someone's delivering a car today. We've got a new car. Speaker 1 (8:32) So, sorry, are we going to need quite a big break here? Because you're taking delivery of a car. That takes quite Speaker 2 (8:40) a while. Yeah, but Speaker 1 (8:40) you'll just park it. Speaker 2 (8:41) I'm just Speaker 1 (8:41) going to Speaker 2 (8:41) quickly... Speaker 1 (8:45) Oh, hello, Speaker 2 (8:46) mate. You all right? Do you call? Speaker 1 (8:48) Right, Michael. Do you want to fill time or do we want to stop? No, because I believe... Let's have a little bet. Okay. Okay. I think seven minutes minimum. Okay. I'm setting a stopwatch now. I'm going to say nine Speaker 2 (9:00) minutes, ten seconds. Okay. Shall we have a break? I'll have a biscuit. I couldn't change it from 1912, so I thought Lou might be here, it might be fine. It might even have popped in between records. He might have. Speaker 1 (9:18) Hilariously, there's someone at my door now. Speaker 2 (9:21) Here we go. So it's Speaker 1 (9:23) not Speaker 2 (9:23) just me. Can we carry on Speaker 1 (9:25) without you, Michael? Speaker 2 (9:27) He's gone. Speaker 2 (9:31) Also, I went, right, so I went out to, he's recording me. Speaker 1 (9:36) So Speaker 2 (9:36) I went out, I'm wearing this white T-shirt, yeah? Speaker 1 (9:38) Yeah. And Speaker 2 (9:39) I've got a pair of shorts on because when I normally sit here, I get quite sweaty. I just put shorts on with no pants. Yeah. Fine. However, in the daylight. Oh, no. You can see through the pants. Speaker 1 (9:51) The Speaker 2 (9:51) silhouette of the dick. The Speaker 1 (9:52) silhouette of the dick. Speaker 2 (9:53) So I just greeted a man with a car with the silhouette of my dick. Yeah. And he said. I'll pop it in the letterbox. Speaker 1 (10:02) I'll pop it in the letterbox. Well, the Speaker 2 (10:03) keys to Speaker 1 (10:04) the car. I went, Speaker 2 (10:04) sorry, mate. I'm in the middle of a podcast. I've got a dick flapping about with my slippers on. And he went, that's okay. I'll just say you weren't here and put it in the letterbox. I was like, what an absolute fucking legend. Great. Great. So, Speaker 1 (10:15) yeah. Speaker 2 (10:15) I hope he hasn't got a story that I was like dismissive. I just, I said, I'm really sorry. But like, I didn't like, normally I'll offer a cup of tea and say, do you need the toilet and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 1 (10:25) No, I think, I don't. I don't think that's the story. It's the dicks. He didn't offer me a cup of tea. It's the dick. Speaker 2 (10:31) Well, I think it's actually worse off someone, a drink, and they want to come in from the toilet with their dick flapping about. Yeah. But I didn't realise until I got out Speaker 1 (10:37) there. Speaker 2 (10:37) Yeah, Speaker 1 (10:37) I think Speaker 2 (10:37) you Speaker 1 (10:37) come in with your dick out and say, do you want to come into my toilet? No, no, no, no, it's not Speaker 2 (10:40) escalating. My dick wasn't out. My dick was away. But when the sun peeked through the cloud, why is Michael gone? Speaker 1 (10:48) I don't know. Well, he might be back. He's not going to be back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm Speaker 2 (10:51) back. What happened? What happened? Speaker 1 (10:53) There was my coffee and my breakfast at the door. And how out of breath are you? How big's your house? Well, I had to run downstairs and get some sugar for my coffee. So it's Speaker 2 (11:00) not Speaker 1 (11:00) my house, I'm Speaker 2 (11:01) at Speaker 1 (11:01) the office. Speaker 2 (11:01) You nearly got some sugar for his coffee, the delivery driver. I know, Rob. Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:07) So when's this tour announced? No. Speaker 1 (11:11) No. I've got no jokes. Should people, you can't say now, but do sign up to Rob's mailing list if you want exciting news before others. No, not Speaker 2 (11:22) yet. No, I think, no, I genuinely think I'll be touring in 2028. Okay. So I might be writing some stuff next year, but no tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speaker 1 (11:30) And do you know what? I might as well do some in autumn 2020. No, let's go on. I'm not playing this little Speaker 2 (11:36) game. I recognise you've settled the nerves before Christmas. Treat Speaker 1 (11:39) me like Speaker 2 (11:39) a little fiddle that you like to play now and again about my shows, actually. My art? My art. Look, when the inspiration comes a-calling, Bobby B will come a Speaker 1 (11:51) -talking. Speaker 2 (11:53) Yeah. Speaker 1 (11:53) And Speaker 2 (11:54) at the moment, the inspiration hasn't struck. I'm thinking about, you know, maybe doing a show about big political issues or something. You know what I'm saying? Speaker 1 (12:00) Yeah, I think that's a good idea, actually, yeah. So, Rob. Yes. Should we talk about our trip to Stockholm together? Speaker 2 (12:07) Yeah, so we went to Stockholm, didn't we, for the Speaker 1 (12:09) Spotify thing. Yeah, so it was a Spotify conference. We were asked to do a 10-minute talk. Yeah, interview. Interview, Q Speaker 2 (12:18) &A. I've been to sort of, I do a lot of, we do a lot of corporate events. I've done a few fireside chats before about social mobility, actually. when I would discuss my Sunday Times bestselling book, A Class Act, where I discussed being trapped in a, you know, working class man in a middle class world. And so it was very reminiscent of that for me. I don't know how you found it. Speaker 1 (12:39) Well, let's go from the moment, go chronologically, because it was quite the exciting, thrilling day. Well, we were in London, weren't we, doing Parenting Hell? Yeah. And then we got a car. We went to Heathrow. Yes. You were annoyed that I'd got check-in luggage. Speaker 2 (12:53) No, I wasn't annoyed. I was slightly surprised and a little bit put out because I'm like, oh, we're going to have to wait for Josh now to get his checking luggage. But then you explain that you were going straight to Strictly after and he was away for like four nights. So, yeah, five nights. So I was like, OK, let's not get annoyed at him. But yes, yeah, I was slightly put out that we had to wait for this dweeb to pack his bag in the hold for one night. Speaker 1 (13:17) So let's talk about the fact that Louis Theroux was also there. Oh, Speaker 2 (13:21) I forgot about this. So, yeah. So my daughter had asked Speaker 1 (13:27) me to download. I have to approve any games that she wants on