SYLVESTER STALLONE: “I Wasn’t Stupid. I Was Just Misunderstood.”

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Sylvester Stallone joins Jay Shetty to reflect on his journey from a difficult, unwanted childhood to becoming a global icon. He discusses t

Key takeaways

• Stallone turned down a $360,000 offer for the Rocky script to avoid compromising the story's soul.
• A fortune teller at age 21 accurately predicted his fame by the mid-1970s and his career path.

Main topics

• Overcoming childhood trauma
• The importance of integrity in business

Notable quotes

I wasn't stupid. I was just misunderstood.

Conclusion

The episode serves as a masterclass in resilience, teaching listeners

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) So one of my best memories growing up, and I don't have a lot of those, was actually watching Rocky with my dad. And my dad introduced me to the franchise. And I know this for sure. I've watched the Rocky franchise, including Five and Balboa after that, more than I've watched any other franchise in my lifetime. So I watch it back every year. There's only two things I watch to get motivated every year. Speaker 2 (0:22) And one of them is Rocky. I appreciate it. I thought you were going to ask for a refund. Okay, great. Speaker 1 (0:28) Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute. And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon. Speaker 1 (0:51) Sylvester Stallone, welcome to On Purpose. Thank you very Speaker 2 (0:54) much. Appreciate it. Speaker 1 (0:55) I want to start off by saying I don't get to start every interview this way. I've had the fortune of interviewing lots of incredible people, people who've achieved amazing things, done amazing things, but it's rare that you get to sit down with one of your personal heroes. Speaker 2 (1:07) I Speaker 1 (1:07) wanted to ask you, you start this book telling us about the fortune teller, and I wanted to know why you start there. Why do you tell us what's about to happen? I Speaker 2 (1:18) just think there's... More things happening in the universe than we tend to give credit to. And I was at the very lowest level. I'm at that age of what everyone's trying to find themselves in. And I think we have about three or four major crossroads that we have. And that's one that comes around 21 years old, 20, that you go, what am I going to do? What am I going to be? How do I find the right path? What's going to trigger my... And as I was walking down this gravel road in the mountains, I see like, I said, it looked like the sign of a gypsy or something like fortune. You saw a hand or some lines up here. It's either a bathroom to wash your hands or it's a gypsy, one of the two. So I went in there. Sure enough, it was like a real gypsy. And she spoke broken English and she said things. that came true years later. And I went, oh my God. So I've always believed from that moment on, even though I was born Catholic, I went through the whole process of theology. But sometimes as you get older, you begin to question, you know, what is God? What is the future? What is this? What is Speaker 1 (2:31) that? Speaker 2 (2:32) Yet we'll listen to a fortune teller. Sometimes we don't believe the church, but we'll believe some person in a little shack. Well, I did at that time, and I wrote down everything, and I would say 80 % came true. To the T, they said, well, what they did is don't do comedy. They were right about that. But also, a woman will bring you into the circle of attention, and that was a woman named Jane Oliver who picked me out of this. for some odd reason, I had nothing going for me. But she says, you have it. Because I know, because I felt I met people like Dustin Hoffman or whatever, and some people just have this thing. And then also you will be famed by 1975, 76, which is what Rocky came. And so on and so forth. So there's many of these situations that came about from her. talking to me in the mountains. But luckily, I was writing everything down at that time, which I think is important. I think if people jot down their thoughts when they're very early and reflect back on them 20 or 30, 40 years later, they'll be quite astounded at how astute they were back then. Because I think when you're young, you're just, you're a sponge. And you're looking for some kind of... pathway, doorway, a key, something that triggers a pathway. And that's what happened with me. It was just a thing that triggered it, and I never looked back. Speaker 1 (4:11) What was the 20 % that didn't come true? Speaker 2 (4:13) Well, it said, be married three times. I go, how do you know? I mean, that's a pretty bold statement. It said, you were protected by some actor from beyond who had dark hair. I'm going, that's just about everybody. So I Speaker 1 (4:27) couldn't take that one too seriously. Speaker 2 (4:30) I would say just about they all came true. Even as I always remember that number two and four will be your lucky numbers, and sure enough, everything, even when I use on my Instagram or whatever, it's like 22. It's whatever that number seems. When I go to a hotel, it's always room 22. I'm like, whoa. This is good and bad. Next time I see 22, I hope it's not on like, you know, like a bad omen. But yeah, there's certain things that just seem to trail people around. Speaker 1 (5:07) Everyone's going to want the number of this fortune teller now. Speaker 2 (5:10) Oh my God, it's 50 years ago. Did Speaker 1 (5:12) you ever get back in touch with her during? No, no, I Speaker 2 (5:15) should. You know, I should. There's a few things like that that I truly regret, like not meeting certain people like Charlie Chaplin or Elvis. and I was invited and I was too shy. Wow. Speaker 1 (5:26) I Speaker 2 (5:26) was too shy to meet Elvis. Can you imagine? Speaker 1 (5:28) Wow. When did that happen? Speaker 2 (5:30) 1976 when Rocky came out, he invited me to Tennessee to his home and to go to a local theater and watch Rocky with him alone. That's Speaker 1 (5:40) incredible. Speaker 2 (5:41) That's unbelievable. That's awesome. And so I go, people, please don't live with these regrets that I live with. When an opportunity like this, even though you may, oh, I have a head cold, go. I don't care if you're not feeling well, go. That Speaker 1 (5:55) surprises me, though, because when we read your book, we see you be someone who is always trying, always pushing. What was it about that particularly that made you shy? Speaker 2 (6:04) What was I going to say to Elvis? Would I be tongue-tied? And I know I wouldn't be. Once I got there, I feel very at ease right now. Much to your credit. Thank you. Thank Speaker 1 (6:15) you. Speaker 2 (6:16) But back then, I just felt like whenever I would meet Muhammad Ali, whatever, I'd go, oh, no, they don't want to talk to me. And then I ended up becoming great friends with him. Speaker 1 (6:25) I Speaker 2 (6:26) even used his house in Rocky III. That was his home, his furniture, his everything. That was when I hadn't conquered fear, you know, the embarrassment. They say that perhaps one of the most... I'm using the word forbidding, but the things that people are so afraid of is public speaking. Worse than spiders. It's public speaking. And I have been through that, but I found once I got up there, I go, what am I hiding from? We're all basically made of the same element. No one's better than anyone else. Their experiences may be, but... primarily were consistent of the same elements, you know, flesh and blood. So what makes me afraid of that person when he hasn't threatened me or anything else? Why not just go out there and sure enough, once you let it out, it's kind of like boxing. And it's true. I've sparred a few times, and as soon as you get hit one time, Your fear goes out the window and now survival comes in. You sort of adapt at that moment. Same thing as once you walk out there, you go, this is not so bad after all. This Speaker 1 (7:41) episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them. That's the philosophy behind every Mazda. With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings. It's why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' Safest New Car Brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. I want to go backwards before we go forwards. Your life almost started with difficulty immediately. I mean, there were complications when you were born. Speak to us about that. When you talk about in the book, that was something I wasn't as aware of with your story. And when I read about that, I was thinking, wow. And there's a part where you literally say, you go, this is what happened. This is how it felt. So be it. and kind of like, let's move on. And I was like, wow, that's really tough stuff. Can you walk us through what you experienced? Speaker 2 (8:56) Well, at a very early age, I think I was born to parents that really were not qualified to be parents because I think when you fully understand that this is now going to be your project forever is you're responsible for these. people and the way they grew up and the way they perceive the world and how they adapt to the way you teach them. They are basically, as I've said it before, kind of like wet clay. You mold them, and if you mold them badly, that shape never quite evaporates. They have those dents and indentations and mal-shapings forever. And so I grew up in that kind of situation where I was Speaker 2 (9:43) not wanted, not really appreciated. And I was looked at as a burden. And also I believe, and they actually said it to my face, where you impeded on our life. You cost us our destiny. Our destiny would have been something else if you hadn't come along. And I go, that's probably quite true. And they somehow tried to eliminate that factor by moving me into different areas. Like I lived in a boarding house. I didn't live with them for a while. They just moved me to this area in Queens, New York, where it was a transient house where a salesman came in and this and that. So I was raised around adult people. And so I didn't really grow up around children. I've never been able to mingle well with people my own age, at least up until, of course, as an adult, I was able to. But I never knew what playing was. And playing is actually more, it's another word for exploration. And I didn't explore. So I developed very late in life. And I think I still maintain the immaturity to this day, which... I'm now welcome. You know what I mean? The older I get, the more immature I get. There's an old saying where, you know, aging gracefully. Really? You ever seen a 100-year-old stripper? It's not aging gracefully. You know what I mean? It's a 50-year-old boxer. It's not a pretty thing to see. So I covet the fact that I never became overly mature at an early age. I had a world that revolved around fantasy and make-believe and of your own doing, of your own invention. And that's where... I don't know where the writing came from. We'll talk about that later, but it was a lifesaver. But I think that all came from being immature and being lost in the world of make-believe. And I felt more comfortable. Reality, to me, was too real. I didn't like my reality at home. It was very painful, very offsetting, and also made me very aggressive. Like I thought that this is the way you treat people. You smack them around or you get smacked and you hit back. So I was a very physical, physical person, really physical. And I grew up in a neighborhood called Hell's Kitchen, which was about as physical as its name. So that was almost the language. People related physically rather than verbally. In other words, it was your toughness. and your boldness that was your calling card, not your intellect. That's something that came as we moved on, hopefully. And I tell, you know, anyone can build muscles. Your brain is what your IQ. That's what you're born with. If you go to the finest school, you have a 95 IQ. It's going to be 95 when you graduate. That's it. It's not all of a sudden you're not going to be Einstein. It doesn't work that way. And I found that out, you know, the hard way that I was very physical, very combative, but I was also very, I just didn't want to deal with reality. So movies, cinema. became my church. Speaker 1 (13:18) This Speaker 2 (13:19) is where I worshiped and it paid off. Speaker 1 (13:22) When you look back, do you feel hearing those things growing up about your worth, your value? You talk about even almost having to apologize for being unplanned in the book. And I think how much of that do you look back and feel that really affected my confidence, it affected my self-worth or? was the fight and the anger helping you break through it at the time. Speaker 2 (13:47) I think that comes with more or less analytical endeavor as you get older. You become a bit more aware of that. But I think 100 % it affects you. See, people say words, sticks and stones will break my bones. Words, yes, they will. Words are literally verbal bullets that will penetrate you, pierce you, scar your interior forever. Speaker 1 (14:13) You Speaker 2 (14:14) tell some kid, like a young girl, young boy, about their physical look when they're eight years old, oh my God, they'll never forget that. When they're 80, they'll quote you. They won't quote the other things, but they'll remember that because it's just your self-esteem is very, very fragile. They say like a woman's reputation is so fragile that once... broken, it's never reparable. You just cannot put it back together. Well, I think that goes for all people. It's not just women. It's just all men. As tough as we can be, I've seen, and I've been that way too, there's somewhere, if someone says the right thing, it hits a fragile spot that you thought was gone. You say, oh my God, I didn't think that would affect me anymore. It's there forever. The fact that I was treated so badly, it made me tough. That made me be able to stand up to what I was going to face at 22, 23, a complete rejection. I took rejection as motivation. Speaker 1 (15:28) I Speaker 2 (15:29) didn't take it as setting me back. I said, I know who I am. More importantly, I know my fault. And that's why I think a lot of people don't, they know, oh yeah, I'm really strong. But if you know your weaknesses, then you're really strong. A strong person knows his weaknesses. That's the ultimate in survival. I knew that earlier on because I was made aware of all my flaws or assumed flaws from a child, early child. Speaker 1 (15:56) Yeah, I see you as an expert in rejection. I am. I'm like, you are an expert in rejection. You write beautifully in the book. You say, One of my favorite quotes I pulled out, rejection is your shadow at every step in this business. You have to find a way to make peace with it. Speaker 2 (16:11) And Speaker 1 (16:11) I was thinking about that and I was wondering when you were such an expert at rejection. Speaker 1 (16:17) How do you make peace with being rejected? I feel it's probably the biggest challenge of today that everyone's facing, whether you're young, old. I feel like the world's moving at the fastest pace it ever has. People are experiencing rejection, chasing their passions, their dreams. When someone's going through that, how do they become an expert in rejection like you, and how do they make peace with it? Speaker 2 (16:38) I use, I guess you might say, a strategy called mirror therapy. I would actually talk to myself when, because I had so much time alone and I spent so much time alone, that I would try to look at myself. And actually, when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, you're trying to find clarity in your eyes. And I finally felt as though I knew, I was like talking to myself, giving myself my own therapy, which I thought was extraordinary. We usually seek other people. to garner therapy from them. But if you learn to analyze yourself, then I made peace with it because I realized I knew my strengths and I knew my weaknesses. So I realized why I would get rejected. Okay. I didn't fit that image. You know, when you go in for an audition, within 10 seconds, that person goes, he's the right one, he's not the right one. Already, you've been judged. And so I realize that, oh yeah, I'm going in for a cowboy who's six foot four. It's not going to work. So I go in there with the preparation that 99 % of the time, they're not going to choose me because they have a preconceived notion of what they want. So don't be so hard on yourself. You were not right for that part, but there will be one that you will connect with. And guess what? That didn't happen either. So I go, then you have to go to plan B. And sometimes failure is the greatest motivator. You got to have it inside. I mean, you got to have something inside. I don't know if everyone has it, but it's a combativeness. I know I can do this. I'm going to be terrible in the beginning. And I'm speaking about writing, which I find the most difficult of all the arts to perform. It's the most revealing and the most painful and perhaps the least gratifying because quite often you read what you've done and you go, this is horrible. But it felt like real brilliant at the time. But that failure. forced me, meaning acting. I just was a type that was not present at that time. People were not really interested in my type. Speaker 1 (19:13) So Speaker 2 (19:13) I said, I got to do something on my own and began to investigate writing. And then I started developing other characters. But still. I didn't know how to write very well until I wrote about Edgar Allan Poe. Because what happened is you keep writing about yourself. Enough already. You know, it's like, it gets repetitive. So when you start writing about someone else, now you're focusing on that person's personality. Once I did that, then I realized I'm ready to create a character from scratch. And that was called Rocky. Speaker 1 (19:46) Like Speaker 2 (19:47) literally. I know everyone saw me as a bully, as a thug, as this, as not a very, he doesn't look smart, so he must not be smart. And everyone was judging everyone, because we do, we judge people. As soon as they walk into a room, we do a primary personality, I guess, readout of them. Primary impressions are very, very strong. But you're wrong. You don't know us. ticking in that body. It can be genius, but because they don't look like a genius, they're not smoking a pipe and they have a certain ass cut on. Oh my God, they're so sophisticated. That's Speaker 1 (20:25) superficial. Speaker 2 (20:26) What I wrote about Rocky, I wrote about a guy on the outside that's considered a complete loser and a thug, but inside he's gentle. He really is gentle. And the only thing that brings out his ferocity is being underestimated. If you call me just about any name in the world, I could bounce it off. I was pretty immune to it. But if you call me stupid, now you push my button. Why was that? I don't know, because that goes back to my father. And my parents, you're stupid, you're stupid, you're stupid, you're dumb. That's why you can't get anywhere. Why can't you be like that person who's got some brains? You got no brains. And I went, oh my God, that one never went away. But then again, that was motivation for proving I wasn't stupid by actually writing a screenplay that other people could understand and identify with. So I wasn't stupid. I was just misunderstood. Speaker 1 (21:31) That's really powerful. I feel like you have two choices. You either prove them right or you disprove them. That's it. And you disprove them by doing something that proved to yourself that you weren't stupid, that you were misunderstood.