I Chose Gambling Over My Dying Daughter | Here’s How I Recovered

Nothing’s Off the Table with Louis Ruggiero

In this episode, Louis Ruggiero interviews Joe Pizzimenti, a former compulsive gambler who shares his harrowing journey from addiction to recovery. Joe

Key takeaways

Joe Pizzimenti's gambling addiction spanned 20 years, beginning with a $1 win at age 15.
A defining moment of neglect occurred during Thanksgiving 2013 when Joe chose to watch football instead of attending to his daughter's medical emergency.
The 'last bet' took place on December 19, 2013, involving a Golden State Warriors vs. San Antonio Spurs game.
Joe identifies gambling as an 'escape' mechanism for childhood trauma and the lack of a paternal voice.
Recovery was facilitated through inpatient treatment at CARE in Florida and active participation in Gamblers Anonymous (GA).

Main topics

Compulsive gambling recovery
Impact of addiction on family dynamics
Childhood trauma and its link to addiction

Notable quotes

I played sick so I didn't have to go to the hospital with my wife because I was watching the Dallas Cowboys.

Conclusion

A profound look at the destructive power of addiction and the transfor

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:04) All right. Welcome back. Another episode. Nothing's off the table. Sitting across from a... fellow compulsive gambler who's now in recovery, Joe Pizzamenti. He works at Right Choice Recovery who is, we are so grateful for it because they sponsor this podcast. They help keep the lights on over here. But he's got an incredible story. We've got a couple other mutual friends through the program as well. Shout out Paulie. Really looking forward to having you on today and thank you so much for coming out here. Thank Speaker 2 (0:36) you. I'm honored to be here. Speaker 1 (0:38) You ready? I'm ready. All right. Let's do it. Tell us about your last day gambling. Speaker 2 (0:42) The last day gambling. So December 19th, 2013, and I could tell you the exact bet, exactly what happened. Golden State Warriors, Steph Curry coming up. San Antonio Spurs in San Antonio. Not in San Antonio. It was in Golden State. And this was when Popovich started the load management. No Kawhi Leonard, no Tim Duncan. I think four out of five starters were out. They had like eight players dressed. It was minus seven was the line for the full game from Golden State. Now back then, remember, you couldn't bet live betting. This was 2013. So I had... Paulies on the half, I had Paulies on the game, I had Paulies all over the place trying to get my money back. It was a Thursday night and they lost outright to San Antonio with eight players dressed. And for me, it wasn't about the money. So, we'll get more into that, but I didn't lose a ton of money then. That was just the last week and I still gambled for three more. That was my last bet. But if you don't mind, I want to take you back three weeks earlier than that. Thanksgiving 2013, we're upstate at my in-laws house and- Speaker 2 (1:57) My daughter, who was two at the time, she just turned two a couple of days prior and has a very rare medical disorder, a life-threatening disorder. And of course, what's on on Thanksgiving? Now, I was strictly a sports gambler, football. So, my daughter got very sick. Her first year of her life, we went out of the hospital like seven or eight times. We go to Mount Sinai here in Manhattan. They treat her disorder. We were upstate about 30 miles north of Albany and she got so sick. She was throwing up everywhere. We didn't know what was going on. Honestly thought she wasn't going to make it. What do I do? What does this addiction do? I played sick so I didn't have to go to the hospital with my wife because I was watching the Dallas Cowboys and I had money on the game as a giant fan. And I still gambled for three weeks to the day, which was December 19, 2013. So I just finally got sick and tired of it. The butterflies in my stomach on that night, realizing that there was no way I should have lost that game, the way it was set up. You know what I'm saying? And I just at that point had it. I just couldn't do it anymore, especially knowing what happened three weeks prior. Speaker 1 (3:10) I want to go back to the night on Thanksgiving. I'm assuming your daughter made it. She's okay? Yes, she's 14 now. God bless. Thank you. Speaker 1 (3:21) Like after... the game was over, win or lose, what were you feeling? What was going through your mind? Were you like, wow, I'm such a low life, I can't believe I didn't go to the hospital? I Speaker 2 (3:35) just had so much anxiety, right? Because at that point, I was down 11 grand. That was my last, that's how much I owed the last time I gambled. Back then, it was a decent amount of money for somebody who lived paycheck to paycheck. I live in Staten Island, New York, right? You know how New York is, right? It's very expensive. especially with a kid with a medical disorder, extra money, she can't eat certain things. So a lot of it was just an escape for me, right? So I didn't want to deal with that. Speaker 1 (4:04) So Speaker 2 (4:05) when I lost that last bet, I kind of had some relief. I had no more credit with the bookie. This is Thursday. I couldn't even make it to Sunday. So looking back, I think it was just that relief, like, wait a minute, okay. This is the time. If I'm going to do it, I got to stop now because I can't bet for the next few days. The bookies aren't going to give me credit because I've been a compulsive gambler for 20 years, right? From 15 to 35. So I had so much anxiety and I just felt it in my stomach that it was just a time at that moment. Speaker 1 (4:41) We're going to get into the recovery part in a little bit. I'd love to hear more about kind of where you grew up, what your upbringing was like. Do you come from a family of compulsive gamblers or a lineage of compulsive gamblers? The first bet to the last bet. I'd love to hear about the progression. I Speaker 2 (4:59) mean, I'll go back to my childhood. So I grew up in Staten Island, but the first 10 years of my life were in Long Island. And my parents got divorced at six years old. So for me, I was a preemie. My parents got divorced at six. I felt like I had no voice. My father moved back to Staten Island and he pretty much wanted to live his life as a bachelor. And here I am a six-year-old boy, missing his father, going through that. My mom had me and my brother in counseling at seven years old. So for me, I would come from a divorced household. I had a father who Speaker 2 (5:41) Honestly, thought it was more important for him to, and he came every other weekend and took us out there, right? But at the same time, I didn't want to live with my mom. I want to live with my dad. And he basically said no. So that kind of started the whole ripple effect of so many things, major depression. But my last bet, my first bet was actually, I picked eight teams on football tickets, put a dollar down at 15 years old. and I won 100 bucks. That was my first bet. Now, as you know, most compulsive gamblers win their first bet. Of course, I never won another one of those tickets again. That's not an easy feat. And I was hooked. I was hooked at that point. I ran football pools at my job, had bookies through my boss, started with $25 on games. I would put in through somebody because I wasn't of age. And I would just do the tickets. I did the pick-em pools, the fantasy leagues. And that's kind of how it all started at 15 years old. And it just progressed all the time. Speaker 1 (6:45) What did that progression look like? Speaker 2 (6:48) I mean... I could just say, I dropped out of high school sophomore year. I didn't go to college. I got my GED. I passed by two points. I had school phobia, had a low self-esteem, social anxiety, major depression. So many things happened in my life that really shaped me and allowed me to just not live life, if that makes sense. I had my first suicide attempt at 11 years old. Where I spent two and a half months in Stony Brook University Hospital on the 11th floor. I was in one of those padded rooms naked the first night, just screaming and crying and going crazy. Speaker 1 (7:30) Why? Speaker 2 (7:32) That all stemmed from my father. When I really dug deep and scrubbed my soul while I was in rehab, it really all came from him just saying no. Speaker 1 (7:43) And Speaker 2 (7:43) both my parents got remarried the same year, a couple of years after they got divorced. My mom got divorced for a second time and finally found the right guy with my stepfather. But- My father, and I remember this, you know. My stepmother didn't want me around my brother who was born while I was in that psych ward. And that hit me. That hit me. Right. And so I carried a lot of that around. I was the kid that didn't think I had a voice, obviously, because I didn't think anybody was hearing me. And I had major depression, was bullied a little bit, not crazy when I was younger. So I kind of just wanted to escape life from a very young age. the progression of the gambling was just that was an escape for me. Speaker 1 (8:34) It Speaker 2 (8:35) wasn't even about the action. It was I didn't want to go to school. I dropped out, so I would gamble. I wanted nothing to do with just doing anything really, so I would gamble. I don't know how I kept my jobs for so long. I had a 20-year telecom career. I worked at AT &T. I worked at Verizon. I was a caddy master at a private country club for five years before I started doing what I'm doing now. For me, it was just always an escape. And then I got married, arguments with my wife. Whatever I could do to escape life in general, I did. I gambled. That was me. It wasn't drugs. It wasn't alcohol. I mean, I did all that stuff when I was younger. But for me, the gambling just took over because- I could place that bet and it didn't matter what happened, that dopamine hit that I got just from placing, just calling the bookie, right? Because I didn't have the phone, right? Just calling the bookie. It did it for me. Speaker 1 (9:32) And Speaker 2 (9:33) it's hard to explain unless you've lived it. Speaker 1 (9:35) Real quick, you guys know my story. I was suicidal with a 10-month-old child at home and nearly a million dollars in debt. Want to know the one thing I learned the hard way? gambling addiction is not the same as drug or alcohol addiction. You can't just throw a gambler into a regular rehab and replace the word alcohol or drugs with gambling. That's why I partnered with Algamus. They're the oldest privately funded gambling specific inpatient treatment center in the country. They've been doing this and only this for over 30 years. It's a real home out in Arizona. It's a small program and the majority of the staff there are also in recovery from gambling. They get it. If you're where I was or you love somebody who is, call 1-888-NO-WAGER. That's 1-888-669-2437. One call is all it takes Speaker 2 (10:22) to start your journey in recovery. Speaker 1 (10:24) Yeah, it's like a drug addict calling the dealer to pick up. Speaking from experience, I would get high. on my way to go pick up