Lauren Cowell reveals all | No Parental Guidance

No Parental Guidance

Lauren Cowell joins the hosts to discuss the realities of raising children in the spotlight, balancing strict discipline with modern parenting

Key takeaways

• Lauren Cowell leads the Raise the Age campaign to combat child exploitation online, partnering with creators like Louise for awareness.
• She admits her biggest parenting fail is struggling to set up parental controls on devices despite actively advocating for digital safety.

Main topics

• Parenting fails & discipline strategies
• Child online safety & screen time advocacy

Notable quotes

It's like playing whack-a-mole. You crush it and the next thing pops up.

Conclusion

The episode offers a relatable, humor-infused look at modern parenting, highlighting

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Coming up... Is Speaker 1 (0:00) X Factor coming back? You know what? I've heard this rumor. I think part of the fun of it was like the really bad audition. Your sh** gets Speaker 3 (0:09) out. Speaker 1 (0:09) You can't Speaker 3 (0:09) be Speaker 1 (0:09) saying that. Like you couldn't get away with that now. Speaker 3 (0:18) Oh, hi, Louise. Yo, yo, yo. Yo. How you doing? We've just been talking about how exhausted we are. Speaker 2 (0:25) Yeah. Yeah. Aren't we? Do you ever get exhausted so much that your mouth feels like you've swallowed a battery? Speaker 3 (0:31) I wonder what you're going to say then. Not just me. No. Speaker 2 (0:36) My whole body feels electric. Speaker 3 (0:38) So not last night, the night before. Two tomcats came knocking at my door. Sorry, do you Speaker 2 (0:43) know that little rhyme? I Speaker 3 (0:44) don't. Go on, rap it. Speaker 2 (0:46) Not last night, but the night before, two tomcats came knocking at my door. I opened the door to let them in and I knocked them down with a rolling pin. Was that like a Speaker 3 (0:55) playground kind of? Speaker 2 (0:56) I guess so. I've got no idea where that came from. Yeah, maybe like skipping rope or something. Speaker 3 (0:59) And it's like what we said previously on the show, where you do these little rhymes and raps and you don't Speaker 2 (1:05) know Speaker 3 (1:05) what they mean. Yeah. You come out with stuff and you're like... Speaker 2 (1:07) And then you realise you're saying something quite sexual. Yeah, Speaker 3 (1:09) I Speaker 2 (1:09) would be Speaker 3 (1:09) arrested. Well, Speaker 2 (1:10) maybe that rap has got another meaning. Speaker 3 (1:13) Bradley said the other day. Oh my God, is it about Speaker 2 (1:15) men? Knocking on your door. Two tomcats came knocking at my door. But then they opened the door to let them in and then basically beat them up. Speaker 3 (1:24) Oh. I mean, you could get arrested. Fair. Yeah, fair one. Whoever, there's a woman right in that somewhere. Speaker 2 (1:31) I've got a rolling pin. Yeah. Do you ever use a rolling pin? I do use a rolling pin. Do Speaker 3 (1:36) you? What, to knock down a... When I make it, just to kick the... out of anyone that comes to my house oh yeah you Speaker 2 (1:40) keep knives under your pillow or something not Speaker 3 (1:42) knives louise no just cricket bats Speaker 2 (1:44) do Speaker 3 (1:46) you actually really still yeah and i've got a crowbar yeah i'm not joking louise i'm not taking any chances not since somebody tried to take like break in they'd hurt my little baby jesus so Speaker 2 (1:57) i'd have done time so every night you go to bed with the cricket bat it's Speaker 3 (2:00) just no i don't i don't go like no Night, Speaker 1 (2:03) everyone. Speaker 3 (2:03) And then go in the cupboard and get all the hazardous weapons. No, I just put my knuckle dusters on and get into bed. Oh, what a minute. Speaker 2 (2:13) No, no, no, no. Speaker 3 (2:14) Where's your crowbar? Just next to my bed. I'm Speaker 2 (2:17) not staying at your house. Or maybe I will. I feel really protected. You'll be safe, Louise. I'll be safe. You'll be Speaker 3 (2:22) safe. But it just really scared me that time when someone tried to break in. And I was like, what would I do? And I think of these scenarios like at 2am. Yeah, Speaker 2 (2:29) I think Speaker 3 (2:29) of Speaker 2 (2:29) ridiculous scenarios. Like this Speaker 3 (2:31) morning when Annabelle came into my room at... quarter to two and he's Speaker 2 (2:34) like Speaker 3 (2:34) and I'm like what do you want Annabelle she just wants me to cuddle her she wanted the Speaker 2 (2:39) crowbar Speaker 3 (2:39) she wanted she heard a noise outside she took my shotgun but as I was thinking it at that point when she comes out of her bedroom to come into our room yeah Speaker 2 (2:50) I'm Speaker 3 (2:51) like what what if somebody was like burgling us She's vulnerable. Speaker 2 (2:55) I know. It really freaks Speaker 3 (2:56) me Speaker 2 (2:56) out. I always feel really vulnerable, like more vulnerable when Jessie's not there. Yeah, yeah. That's when I'm like, I don't like it and I don't know why. And yeah, I don't know. And I have to like pretend that he's downstairs watching TV so I can just relax and go to sleep. Speaker 3 (3:10) Like go downstairs and just check all the doors. I'm like, I'm an independent woman. I don't need a man. But Andy, will you just make sure everything's locked downstairs? I do Speaker 2 (3:19) love though, you did mention this before when you said that you went downstairs with your crowbar because someone was trying to break in. And then I was like, well, where was Andy? You're like, I know he's upstairs in his sleep. Didn't hear it. Well, he did. He Speaker 3 (3:32) actually, he did. Our friends have like ripped him Speaker 2 (3:34) for that. Oh, I'm not surprised. Because like, how come Speaker 3 (3:36) you didn't go down first? And then he's like, well, Hannah went down. But to be fair, like I did, I'd have been like, under you, you stay upstairs and protect yourself. I've got this. Speaker 2 (3:45) But it's amazing like that instinct as a mother, we go into absolute, I will protect. Yeah. Like there is nothing that can get past a mother that's. protecting her child yeah Speaker 3 (3:56) I saw an incident at soft play the other week and a little girl had been mean to another little girl and they were both crying and the mum of one of the girls came over to the other girl's mum and she said listen um she goes I have to be honest I saw the whole thing your daughter was being really mean to my daughter calling her x y and z and then she said so my daughter shoved her back and she shoved her too hard like she shouldn't have pushed her back but your daughter shouldn't have been calling her those things so I've had a word with her told her not to do it again but I'd really appreciate it if you could ask your daughter not to say these horrible things to her Speaker 2 (4:31) and Speaker 3 (4:33) This woman was quite confrontational when she said it. But the way she said it, I was like, nobody could argue with that. I mean, to be fair, without Crowbar, I don't Speaker 2 (4:42) think I would have argued with her either. Sure. But Speaker 3 (4:44) I was like, you know, good for you for coming over. Because sometimes parents sugarcoat it and be like, oh, don't say this, don't say that. But actually, it's like, no, your daughter was out of line. So was mine. Let's just take accountability on both parts, move Speaker 2 (4:54) on from it. Yeah, I Speaker 3 (4:56) like that. Really respected her. What did the other Speaker 2 (4:58) mum, was she on board? Speaker 3 (4:58) Well, the other mum was sat with all her friends. And she was a bit like... So then she had her... crowbars Speaker 2 (5:02) but Speaker 3 (5:03) she yeah she had her crowbars and her cricket bats right and her knuckle dusters with it um yeah everything all of it everything and she was a bit like uh right is did you say that did you and this mum was like she did because i was there i was like i saw it yeah Speaker 2 (5:20) and Speaker 3 (5:20) i thought good for you because she's also saying my daughter was in the wrong as well sure Yeah, really respected her for that. That's quite good, actually. Obviously, I just sat there with my coffee, just listening to everything. Speaker 2 (5:30) But Speaker 3 (5:30) your Speaker 2 (5:30) binoculars and your microphone. And Bradley's like, Mummy, Speaker 3 (5:32) watch me, watch me. And I was there with my laptop at the cafe area. Oh my God, Bradley, that somersault twist took in a pike was unbelievable. Now fuck off and let me Speaker 2 (5:42) do my work and listen to what's going on. Oh my God, I know. Have you got any fails this week? Speaker 3 (5:46) Do Speaker 2 (5:47) you know what? Interestingly, I ran the dinner table last night. with the kids and Jesse. I was like, I'm on the show tomorrow and I've got to talk about fails. Like, what do you think guys? Can you think of anything that I've done this week? Like anything? And then like all of them were like, do you remember that time that you slammed the car door on my fingers? And I was like, oh my God, I forgot about that. Yeah, I do remember that. I'm so sorry. And now the kid was like, do you remember when you forgot to pick me up from a play date? Oh my God. Yes, I did forget that. And then Basil was like, do you remember? the time where you elbowed me in the face when I was a baby. Speaker 3 (6:21) Oh my God. Yeah. Speaker 2 (6:22) And I, and that, so my kids remember some of the fails that maybe I have blocked out. Yeah. And this, the, the knocking the elbow in Basil's face, it still haunts me. This happened when he was, he was just sitting up. So I want to say like six months old. Like it still haunts me. And the story is I was at my friend's house. She had a baby about the same age. So we got together for a coffee, absolutely sleep deprived, like nipples leaking, like just like, Speaker 1 (6:53) and Speaker 2 (6:54) we decided to meet up for coffee and we're in her living room and we're all sitting on the carpet with our babies. And I reach over to my nappy bag. And I need to get something out of the nappy bag, like a muslin or something. And so I'm on the floor and I'm reaching over to the sofa and Basil's behind me. Speaker 3 (7:13) Oh, God. And I'm trying to Speaker 2 (7:14) yank something out of the bag. And I'm like, just get it out. I'm so tired. Just give me this muslin. And then I shoved my hand. And as I pulled back, it Speaker 1 (7:22) was Speaker 2 (7:22) an actual like elbow to the face. And he went