Navigating Caregiver Relationships: Trust, Boundaries, and Friendship

Nick Speaks

Host Nicholas Comstock explores the profound importance of emotional connection and friendship within the caregiver-client relationship. He

Key takeaways

• Caregivers should strive to be companions and confidants rather than just task-oriented employees.
• Strict professional boundaries can inadvertently hinder the quality of care for those with disabilities.

Main topics

• Caregiver-client boundaries
• Emotional connection in caregiving

Notable quotes

A caregiver is a friend when there are no friends to be found.

Conclusion

True caregiving requires going beyond the bare minimum to foster human

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) A caregiver is a friend when there are no friends to be found. And don't be afraid to be your client's friend. And do your best as a caregiver to make every day a party for your client. And have a good time. Speaker 1 (0:18) Welcome to the Nick Speaks Podcast, where we speak up, speak out, and speak loud for the disabled community. Tune in every Tuesday, and don't forget to subscribe. And now your host, Nicholas Comstock. Speaker 2 (0:32) Hi, everybody. Welcome to this brand new installment of the Nick Speaks podcast. The podcast where we speak up, speak out, and speak loud for the disabled community and the issues that matter most to us. We also speak up, speak out, and speak loud for everything else in between. I am your host, Nick Comstock. You guys, thank you so much for joining me on this Tuesday morning or Tuesday afternoon or Tuesday evening, whichever time you're joining me on this Tuesday. Thank you for being here. I love that you show up every week to listen and watch my episodes. It really means a lot. If you're out there having Tim Hortons like I did this morning before I came on the air, I had two double chocolate donuts. That is chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. The only way to eat. chocolate cake, in my opinion, is chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. That is a good thing that I inherited from my dad because that's the only way he likes chocolate cake, too, is with chocolate cake and chocolate frosting. I mean, he may like chocolate cake with, you know, buttercream, like white frosting, but I think he much rather prefers chocolate cake with chocolate frosting because then it's really chocolate cake. But anyway, so yeah, I had two double chocolate donuts from Tim Hortons. I'm telling you, man, I really got addicted to those earlier this year and kind of late last year. I really got addicted to those donuts when I had to go and see my grandfather, who at the time was dying of colon cancer. Thankfully, he came out of. And it's doing well. And he'll be 90 this December. But when I was going back and forth to see him in the hospital, we made frequent stops at Tim Hortons. And I got addicted to their chocolate cake with chocolate frosting donuts, which is known as the double chocolate donut. And so I got. You guys, we'll get to the core of the episode in a minute. But you guys, this is how addicted I got to them. One morning, I had one of my caregivers go pick me up six double chocolate donuts from Tim Hortons. You say, Nick, did you eat them all? Yes, in one sitting. I did. I know it's horrible. I've never done it again. I've never felt so horrible in my life. Talk about a big sugar crash. And I don't recommend that for anybody, but I know we all have our big back moments. So those double chocolate donuts from Tim Hortons were mine. So whether you're enjoying double chocolate donuts from Tim Hortons, or a frozen pizza for lunch, please, dear Lord, cook the pizza before you eat it so you don't really eat a frozen pizza. I know I'm not a dad. That's a terrible dad joke. But whether you're enjoying the Tim Hortons donuts or the frozen pizza or whatever you're doing, even if you're not eating, I like to surround my life with food. I'm a huge foodie. That's why I'm always talking about food at the beginning of the podcast. And I'm hoping that some of these businesses I shout out, like Tim Hortons and others, will sponsor yours truly. Remember, if you guys are a local business in the Columbus area or surrounding areas and you would like to be a sponsor of the Nick Speaks podcast, please email me at nickspeaksofficial at gmail.com and let me know that you would like to be a sponsor and then we can go from there and I or my producer will send you further details. All right, you guys, today I want to talk about something near and dear to my heart, and that is the relationship between caregiver and client. And I talk about this a lot over on my social medias, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. If you're not following me on any of those platforms, all that is in my link tree and the show notes. So please go follow me on all those platforms. I'm there posting every day, seven days a week. And then I have the podcast here on our audio platforms as well as my YouTube channel. So make sure that you are subscribed to everything I'm doing. Okay, you guys, like I said, I talk about the caregiver-client relationship a lot on my social medias. And this week, I started a video off by saying the state's just going to have to get over it because my caregivers are my friends. And I really believe that because if you're not aware, caregivers are trained, unfortunately, not to get attached to their clients. And I don't know who puts these type of rules in place. especially when you're working with the most vulnerable folks with disabilities and the elderly. I don't know who puts these type of rules in place where it says you can't get attached to your client, you can't be friends with your clients, you can't share your phone number with your clients. Now, obviously, every case is different, in my opinion. You do have to set some very... strict boundaries because of the mental disability that a client may have. And those strict boundaries are a good thing. But as it pertains to really caring about your job, you know, the first word in your job title as a caregiver is care. And I don't think you can be a proper caregiver if you don't somehow in some way. Get attached to your client and develop a love for the human being that you have said, I'm going to take their life in my hands and I'm going to give them the best quality of life possible. I don't think there's a way that you can just go home, sign a piece of paper every day, do a 12-hour shift, go home and forget about it until you come back in the next day. If you're a real human being who loves people, there's no way you can do this job as a caregiver like that. You know, I've talked about this so much on my social media, and I always blow up when I do talk about it. And some caregivers are like, I'm not there to be my client's friend. I'm there to do my job and go home. And my response is, please do us all a favor and get out of the field if that's your attitude. Because you're so much more than someone who just comes in, cleans up a client, and goes home. You're so much more than that. In my opinion, you're supposed to be a client's companion. You're supposed to be a client's confidant. You're supposed to be a client's best friend. You're supposed to be your client's... you know, sounding board. And in my opinion, that's the only way you can really be a good caregiver. But there are a lot of caregivers who don't see it that way. And I think a lot of them are old school. I think the ones that are coming in the field now are like, you know, if they really have a heart for people, they're like, yeah, I'll be my client's friend. I'll bring them food. I'll check on them when I'm not on shift. You know, I think we've developed a really caring society as far as that goes. And we don't have a lot of the old school. No, we can't do that. We're crossing boundaries. Listen, if you see me naked within the first hour of us meeting, we've already crossed every boundary that could be crossed. So in my opinion. Speaker 2 (9:50) After you see me naked, even though you're there for a job, all boundaries are out the window, in my opinion. And