Greek Myths: The Poseidon Adventures

Myths and Legends

This episode explores Poseidon's role in Greek mythology through a humorous, fictional interview format where Dionysus interviews Poseidon a

Key takeaways

• Poseidon was replaced by a foal at birth, not eaten by Cronus, which parallels Zeus's story but adds unique origin details.
• Poseidon chose the sea over other domains like the sky or underworld due to its constant worship and dynamic nature.

Main topics

• Poseidon's origins and birth myth
• His role in the Titanomachy and division of divine domains

Notable quotes

'I have the sea, horses, earthquakes. Okay, speak on that a little.'

Conclusion

The episode blends mythological storytelling with satire, offering a fresh

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Brief disclaimer, we're back in the stories of the Olympians, so that means some talk of sexual assault. Please see the post on mythpodcast.com for more info. This week on Myths and Legends, we're back in the stories of the Olympians with Poseidon, god of the seas. We'll see that the best wingman sometimes isn't even a man. It's a dolphin. And that Poseidon is totally not mad that his younger brother bosses him around all the time. because he has a cool car with mandatory dance parties. The creature this time is Alan, a monster from the Philippines who just wants you to not boil its children. This is Myths and Legends, episode 442, The Poseidon Adventures. Speaker 1 (0:53) This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. So way back when, I pledged to do a year on the Olympians. One a month. It lasted two months. Turned out it was way more work than anticipated because not only did I have to research like 20 stories for each of them, But I wanted to weave their life into something that made sense and was a satisfying story arc in its own right. So we're back to my increasingly inaccurately named monthly Olympian episodes with Poseidon. We'll talk about this later, but Poseidon doesn't have a lot of stories where he's the main character. So he's a small part of a bunch of them. Think of this like a chapter from Edith Hamilton's mythology or Robert Graves' Greek myths. Sort of like a grand Poseidon overview. One quick note for listeners who maybe haven't listened to every episode of the podcast or have and just, you know, there's a lot of them. Back in Halloween of 2020, we did a bit where Dionysus, god of wine, revelry, and theater, was in The Frogs, an ancient Greek play which itself is a metacomedy. So in a podcast adaptation, Dionysus was doing a podcast. I've brought it up here and there in the Greek episodes as a fun joke. But today, it's most of the episode. Dionysus doing an interview of Poseidon's life, with the god of the sea being unable to not step in it. Speaker 1 (2:40) The storm above Dionysus' head began to clear. Finally, he squinted out to sea and saw a head rising from the waves. The storm retreated quickly from its true master. Poseidon, Olympian, god of the sea, horses, and also earthquakes. As he rose, pulled by white horses with golden manes and brazen hooves, made of brass, they weren't particularly bold, As Poseidon rose, the party apparently came with him because when his golden chariot emerges from the sea, according to Homer, sea monsters frisk around it. Frisk, in this context, means to frolic. A few very beleaguered octopuses dragged Poseidon's shell-themed seat across the sand and brought him a bottle of wine. Well, what do you got? Poseidon looked at Dionysus. Wine streaming down his beard as a tentacle came up to wipe it. Dionysus was already set up with the recording equipment and had captured the noise print to remove the background noise, but yeah, hey, can you shut the music off? Dionysus asked. Poseidon groaned. It really went against his whole thing. He was the party. Dionysus didn't correct him by saying that Dionysus, a version of whom was Bacchus in Roman mythology, was literally the god of partying. and knew that if you had to tell people you were the party and make your employees dance around your car, you were, in fact, not the party. Poseidon yelled out for his sea monster bros to take a quick break. Come back and, uh, give them a loose 20. As the sea monsters quickly submerged, Dionysus noted that this was gonna be longer than 20 minutes. Episodes were running long lately. He knew that podcasts took longer to make than just their runtime, right? Haha, one, nerd alert, no I don't listen to podcasts. What is this, 2018 when they were cool for a whole 20 minutes? Two, my guys are fish. They're gonna forget about this in like three seconds from now. It's actually a big problem with them forgetting who I am. Dionysus didn't note that the whole thing where fish forget every few seconds is a complete myth, and that Poseidon's guys really seem to be capitalizing on that myth and pretending they didn't know him so they didn't have to hang out. but he did want to get started. Flipping through his notes, he worked his way back to the beginning. Speaker 1 (5:19) Poseidon was the first son of Cronus and Rhea, and the first son to die. At least, that was Cronus' plan. I'm not a doctor, and thankfully I have no first-hand knowledge of this, but generally when you eat people, they don't make it. But little did Cronus know, when it came to Poseidon, his oldest son, he wasn't eating his son, but a foal, a baby horse, and Dionysus raised a finger. Poseidon lowered his sunglasses to reveal another pair of sunglasses he was lounging across from him on the shell of the beach where they were having their talk. Yes? Were they sure about this? The foal thing? Poseidon said, oh yeah, the horse thing? My mom, Rhea, replaced me with a horse. And my dad ate the horse. Why? Poseidon asked. Um, okay, two things. One, apparently you made the horse for people, which is why you're the god of horses? So those kind of conflict. But two, it's just very close to Zeus's story, where when he was born, Cronus ate a rock instead of him. And he grew up and became Cronus's cupbearer, poisoned him so he threw you all up, and then led the revolution. Dionysus could pull out his notes, but he didn't think he needed to. Yeah, so? Poseidon said. So if you were out the whole time, what were you doing? Baby stuff? Watery baby stuff? Why are you making this a big thing? The Arcadians tell a story of me being replaced with a foal. I was out of Dad's stomach. I was raised in a pasture with, like, lambs and junk. Poseidon went back to his phone. So you just, what, met up with Zeus later and joined his revolution? Instead of being rescued from your father's stomach? Maybe he met up with me, Poseidon shrugged. Maybe he joined my revolution. But did he? Dionysus pressed. Maybe. Poseidon smiled. Dionysus rolled his eyes and resumed. All right. Full or baby, leader or not, Poseidon was out of his father's stomach and in the war effort. The Titanomachy had begun. And the Titanomachy ended. We actually don't have a full accounting of the Titanomachy. Did Poseidon want to fill in some of those gaps? Nope, Poseidon said, not looking up. Cool. Yeah, this is going well. Dionysus crossed off the Titanomachy section, where the Olympians rose up against their parents' generation. The Titans overthrew them and sent them down to Tartarus, Tartarus being the lowest level of the underworld, where, while the regular underworld is full of shades and sadness, Tartarus is full of suffering and screams. Full of the bad people, Poseidon interrupted the narration. When you say bad people, Dionysus continued, I did sort of an inventory of Tartarus. And it's full of the Hundred Handers, the monstrous siblings of the Titans, the Titans, some Cyclopes, and mostly just enemies of you all. Us, the Olympians. It's kind of our own personal prison. They're only bad insofar as they are a threat to us. Yeah, don't forget people who tricked Zeus into eating people, Poseidon laughed. Happens more than you'd think. Yeah, actually, let's talk about Zeus, Dionysus said. Dividing up the domains, how did that go down? Oh, You mean, how did I win and get the C? Poseidon put his phone to sleep. Is that what happened? Poseidon laughed. What? Did he want the underworld like the sad sack Hades? Oh, my girlfriend leaves me for six months a year. Boo hoo, but I gotta stay here and work. No thanks. Or the sky? You know what's in the sky? A lot of nothing. Meanwhile, I got this big blue watery road that all these little guys use all the time. So much worship flowing my way 24-7, 354. So you didn't want to be king of the gods? You're older than him. King? He might be king of all you guys, but he's my little brother. We're basically equal. Dionysus pointed out that basically equal wasn't quite equal, was it? Well, we drew lots for responsibilities and I won. Poseidon laughed. I love my watery life. I have the sea, horses, earthquakes. Okay, speak on that a little. Why earthquakes? There are some who feel like that should be Hades' domain. Dionysus sat back. Poseidon explained that his domain wasn't strictly the sea. In fact, His epithets included Earthshaker and Earthmover. Poseidon's domain wasn't strictly water, but everything down to the foundations of the Earth. As we all know, Poseidon grinned, all land rests on water. Does it, though? Dionysus asked. I should know, Poseidon snapped back. Oh, I'm not denying that, Dionysus replied. Let's say it's surrounded by water. Right, sure. So... He who controls the water controls the shaking of things that the water can shake, the Olympian shrugged. Also, my trident can shake the earth. Cool, Dionysus looked things over. Okay, and then you got married. Yes, Poseidon replied. Can you give us a glimpse into your love story? Poseidon said, sure. Tale as old as time. She was one of the 50 daughters of Nereus. the old man of the sea, son of Pontus, the sea, and Gaia, the earth. Her mother was Doris, sort of a personification of the fertility of the ocean. So, one day Poseidon was hanging out with Nereus, watching all of his daughters dance. He paused. What was that face for? Nothing. Well, not nothing, Dionysus said. It just sounds weird. Oh, seriously? Poseidon asked. Where was Dionysus' head? People danced for all sorts of reasons, but it just goes to show his bias that Dionysus assumes he's some sort of creep. Dionysus apologized and Poseidon continues. Anyway, there was a really hot daughter called Amphitrite that I just had to have then and there, Poseidon said with a smirk. Dionysus' face palmed. Thankfully, Poseidon did not act on his feelings. Well, okay, he did act on his feelings. But Amphitrite's sisters managed to warn her in time, swarming the Olympian as he walked toward them. After politely chuckling and nodding to the girls, but desperately searching for the one who had awakened these feelings, Poseidon realized what had happened. Honestly, her running away only made the feelings more intense, Poseidon laughed, not noticing that neither Dionysus nor the production team joined him. So Poseidon sent out the search parties. And Fittredi was smart enough to not hide in the sea or on any of the islands. It's said that Poseidon sent out creatures to find her, and while he could have used horses because I guess they were his thing, I like to picture scores of, like, trout and octopuses emerging from the sea and lasting a few hours while they comb the towns and countryside looking for information, for five to thirty minutes each before suffocating. But even though many of his fish minions died, That was a sacrifice Poseidon was willing to make, because he found her. She was in the Atlas Mountains. To close the deal, though, he would need an expert negotiator. Speaker 1 (13:04) We'll see a dolphin climb a mountain, but that will be right after this. We're finally, like, in the place to enjoy fall outside. Moving to our new house, the backyard was nice, but it looked way nicer when we came to the open house with all the previous owner's decorations out there. When we got that old table we have and the two chairs, it looked bad. I'm not a designer, but even I knew I didn't love the one table and umbrella I saw gathering sawdust at the local hardware store. So we got on Wayfair. I want to say less than a week later, and the backyard looks better than it did when we fell in love with it. The linchpin? A few Mirazi double-walled taper pot planters. Tried to say that three times fast. They look