Samael Morningstar | A Near-Death-Meth Experience, Dark Gnosticism, and Photographika

My Family Thinks I'm Crazy

Host Mystic Mark interviews Samael Morningstar, an esoteric author and chaos wizard, about his transformative spiritual journey. The convers

Key takeaways

• Samael experienced a physical breaking of his energetic body during an event on the 2017 autumn equinox.
• He identifies as a cosmic being connected to the star Alpha Pegasi through astrological alignments.

Main topics

• Near-death experiences
• Gnostic Chaosophy

Notable quotes

Music is not a human invention. It would not exist without the stars and the angels bringing it to us.

Conclusion

The episode provides a deep dive into fringe spiritual belief systems

Transcript preview

Speaker 3 (0:00) My Family Thinks I'm Crazy, a podcast where I, your host, try to give you some tips on how you can explain all this weird, wild, crazy, conspiracy stuff to the people you love most. Because that's what I've been trying to do for the past 10 years with no success. Speaker 3 (0:42) want to listen they don't want to hear it they're just like oh here we go mark off again with your mark yeah yeah so you know that's the thing about podcasts is when you're on the air and it's like therapy you know if i can't talk to my family about this stuff i'll talk now listening to the my family thinks i'm crazy podcast i'm your host mystic mark thank you for tuning in and enjoy this episode of my family thinks i'm crazy podcast with today's guest samuel morningstar Speaker 3 (1:44) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the My Family Thinks I'm Crazy podcast. Coming to you live from our remote studio, not the normal studio. So my apologies if things sound a little different. But joining me today is a top-notch guest who I'm sure you're going to love. Technical differences aside, my man Samuel Morningstar is here to talk to us today about his new book. Sama, Lieber, Samael. So without further ado, Samael, welcome to the show. We have plenty in common in the sense that what you're talking about in this book, Lieber, Samael, is, you know, fits right at home on this show. But before we get started on some questions that I have for you. What sent you down this path to begin with? Was there like an initial experience or a memory you have, a type of thought or experience you had, an event in your life that led down this path that you're currently treading? Where did this all begin? Speaker 1 (3:01) Yeah, well, there's been a few. Speaker 1 (3:05) It's kind of driven by music. I found my story in a lot of the heavy metal that I listen to. And really, really intimate, private moments that I've had were somehow turned into songs. But the main event that... What put me solidly on my path was on the autumn equinox of 2017. I was using recreational substances at that time. Speaker 1 (3:44) I had been experimenting around with an energy that would like visit me while I was on certain substances. And I was trying to get it to leave me alone, basically. And I figured out that it was like attracted to direct current running through like a charging cable. And I essentially broke part of my energetic body. Speaker 1 (4:15) Began a lot of odd physical sensations, odd physical effects. And soon after that, the spiritual stuff started happening. And yeah, so on the equinox of... Speaker 3 (4:34) Let me ask you to break that down real quick before you go into more detail on what happened. You... Did I hear this right? You had your spiritual body or your astral body, in other words, broken apart. Is that right? Is that what you said? Speaker 1 (4:54) Yeah. How did that feel? Was that painful? Yes, it was. It started as like a white line that went through my vision. And then when I couldn't see it anymore, I could feel it. I could taste it. And it just ping-ponged around in my body back and forth. My bones were popping, making all these weird noises. And like a half hour of agony on my bed, it Speaker 2 (5:23) finally Speaker 1 (5:24) stopped. And then to my horror, the wall next to me made a loud popping noise. And then like two or three more. And each time I did it, it changed like the pattern on the stucco just a little bit. And I mean, yeah, that was when I realized that. It was going to get interesting. Speaker 3 (5:48) Yeah. So, okay. So what, what about the timing of this? Did you put any thought to timing it? Did it just happen to be on that auspicious date? And, and, you know, was your goal to like break through and maybe this was an unforeseen consequence? Like what, what was going on before this? Speaker 1 (6:11) Well, in my mind, well, I had, I had, Speaker 1 (6:16) Been raised in the Catholic Church and everything grew to the look to the low with it but I didn't have any plans of trying to break out from reality or step out of the matrix. I just wanted to Not have these Spiritual things happen to me when I would go and try and get a little bit of a break from reality if you yeah Speaker 1 (6:46) Yeah, my goal was to just stop this. Speaker 1 (6:51) gray, cold dust that would appear. And it would like land on my skin and my electronics and it would, it would, it broke my, it would ruin my electronics. It would like eat through cables and glitch and crash my computer. This is something you're Speaker 3 (7:06) experiencing like a dream. This is having like physical effects on your environment as well. Speaker 1 (7:12) Yep. Wow. And people around me were experiencing it too. So like. I had validation on it. Speaker 3 (7:20) Yeah, no, and this is not the place where we're going to doubt you at all. I want to hear your story in full detail. So, yeah. So, okay. I feel like maybe I jumped in and asked you a bunch of questions and maybe broke up the flow. You were kind of getting around to talking about your real intentions with all this. And you mentioned just now how... You wanted to just kind of get a break? Was this like before you discovered that you can maybe manipulate this kind of energy? Like you were just trying to, it was overwhelming is kind of what I, this sense I'm getting from you. This was like an overwhelming kind of thing that you didn't necessarily intend to get involved with, so to speak. Speaker 1 (8:14) Yeah. And like the gray dust brought like voice to skull technology. So I would hear all sorts of interesting, crazy things. And I knew they weren't my thoughts. So, yeah, it was just something I wanted to, you know, stop from happening so that way I could go and enjoy myself when I wanted to. Speaker 1 (8:40) And about the timing on the night of the event, the August 17th, or excuse me, September 17th, the 2017 equinox was the night that the constellation described in Revelation, what is it, chapter 9, verses 11 through 12, the woman with the crown, you know, the crown. Speaker 1 (9:11) That constellation, well, that transit happened that night. And I've learned that there's a lot of coincidences in my story and a lot of things that align with basically what society has for lore and prophecy about the end times. Speaker 2 (9:36) Right Speaker 3 (9:38) on. Okay, so I imagine your soul... Having this, what sounds like a traumatic experience, your next instinct is, how do I correct this? Did you go about trying to figure out what exactly happened? How did you make sense of that, what sounds like a very painful and invasive experience? Speaker 1 (10:06) Well, it took me a while to make sense of it and understand really what I had done and why I had done it. Who I had become. My left and my right sides of my body are split by this invisible divide. So I have different energetic effects on my left and my right. And I also have the ability to control things energetically with my breath. And the passageway that I take my breath through and release it through. Speaker 1 (10:50) is each on a different side of the body. I figure that's probably because the heart being a vortex or something, the way the lungs are. But it put me into a negative state. And so when I breathe in, I kind of pull everything around me, towards me. And then when I breathe out, nothing happens it doesn't push back out or anything it doesn't expand um so interestingly enough i've been caught in this like negative vacuum and um turns out you can use alchemy and a bunch of other things to go through and uh turn it into something the let's turn into the ride majestic um yeah um of course my parents Speaker 1 (11:52) My mom's spiritual. My father is a Catholic. Great people. And my mother knew that I wasn't making it all up, but she thought that most of it was probably because of the drugs I was using and that I was probably in psychosis. So I ended up going through and went to a treatment program and stopped. Speaker 1 (12:20) The physical effects still were there. And it wouldn't leave me. I knew that I was on a path different from everyone else's. When I was in treatment, I remember I went outside, and one of the things I figured out I could do early on was interact with this guy above me. Speaker 1 (12:54) I could like pinch at a star and roll it and it would start skewing off to the side. And I did that while I was in treatment one night when I went outside to smoke a cigarette. One of the guys, he saw it and was asking questions. How do you do that? It's like, well, not quite sure. Speaker 1 (13:22) But yeah, it took me a long time to figure out exactly what was going on. Speaker 3 (13:29) Now, what do you think is going on? I mean, in that instance, that example you just gave, you're using your mind to consciously connect to something that, you know, we've been told stars are millions of miles away. But for all we know, that could be just a pinpoint of light, some sort of consciousness. A conscious entity, right? So there's all sorts of, you know, programming that we have to dislodge ourselves from before we're able to kind of understand exactly what's going on. It sounds like you, you know, thanks to the help of some pretty serious drugs, were kind of like pushed out onto the other side and like, oh, hey, figure it all out from here. There's no wading in gently. You dove. you know, head first in. So, I mean, now you say you do understand what's going on. What exactly do you think is happening with the, what we would call a star? I don't know if you think it's a star. You know, what do you Speaker 1 (14:34) think is going on there? Sort of. Okay. Speaker 3 (14:37) Break it down for me because this is new to me. Speaker 1 (14:40) Well, all right. So, one of the things I did to help me figure out who I am was, I got a hold of the astrologer Lolita Caroli. She's on YouTube. And she did my birth chart and she did asteroids and everything. She did like a deep dive into it and found some really cool and interesting stuff. Like I am exactly what my astrology chart says I am. And in astrology, your sun is your energy of projecting. Speaker 1 (15:19) Like you heat under the under this plane and then your north node is your direction and my son and my north node are right next to each other and Between them sits the star markob or alpha Pegasi. It's the shadow of the Pegasus She told me that she would hold me hold my chart as divine and that Our relationship was ending there because she couldn't tell me what to do next because it would probably interfere. So I know I'm a star. I've gone outside a few times at night and there'd be this big bright blue star in the middle of the sky, like begging for attention. And it's always Markov. So I am a cosmic object. I am a star. Speaker 1 (16:23) And I know from the music that they talk about the broken star being sent down here to break us out of reality. So I am a cosmic being and I broke. Speaker 1 (16:48) Part of the chains that were keeping me from being able to remember and realize that and interact with essentially my family up in the sky and the heavens above. Another thing too is I broke my inside state and gave myself a new perspective. So because of the hermetic principle and everything, as above, so below, or as within, so without. What's happening inside happens outside. And I see it in a really heavily exaggerated way whenever I do things. Speaker 3 (17:27) Can you give us an example? Speaker 1 (17:30) I mean, oh man, off the top of my head, this should be easy. Let's stick with the skies still for now. While I was trying to figure out Speaker 1 (17:52) Who I am because I know I'm not this person my parents raised and had hopes and aspirations to go to college and you know start a family and everything. I know I wasn't that person anymore and I knew that I could do things humans can't so I consulted the music. That's what I do whenever I Speaker 1 (18:19) have questions or need to know something, I have great, great, great player audience gifts that follow me. And my favorite band, a Swedish progressive metal outfit called Soen, they had written a bunch of songs that I found too deeply personal to be about anyone but me. And yeah, I knew that I had to figure out who I was. The music that I used to guide me through this kept telling me that I needed to remember my name and who I am. Speaker 3 (19:18) And when you say the music reminded you, you're witnessing these synchronicities, right? There's synchronicities, songs that you're hearing are connecting with things that are going on in your daily life. Do you any come to mind when you, I mean, maybe start with a band, a particular band or song that resonates with you? Speaker 1 (19:42) The Night of My Rapture slash Rupture. is told in a song by the band In Flames. And the song is called Minus. And it starts off with, drug me, infiltrate my Neverland, like a flood tide drowning the shore. Drug me, you are all over me, I watch my blood begin to boil. Speaker 1 (20:11) And then the chorus of it is, I love that lullaby, start me up again. Electric spine, open mind. I'll leave you negative behind. Watch me all in flames on a butterfly I ride. And then it goes on to continue talking about how I can breathe, you know, inhale the light and relax for some time. The world outside is numb tonight. Free your mind, express the forgotten. The world inside is yours tonight. And like, um, whenever I walk outside, the sun will basically try and find me. And when I, uh, when I breathe in, I literally bring the light towards me. Um, and so that song, um, also promises me that I am, um, that I, there's one seat left with the gods and that it's mine. Um, Speaker 1 (21:18) And they also, In Flames also has songs, let's see, Cloud Connected, talks about how someone on this path would be connected with everything that they need through basically this guy. Yeah, there's, it's quite interesting. And let's see. Speaker 1 (21:52) One of the things I discovered