New Orleans, NFL Stadiums, 'Dallas' | Monday Morning Podcast 9-21-26

Monday Morning Podcast

Bill Burr reflects on his recent trip to New Orleans, praising the local food while discussing the complexities of modern protests. The epis

Key takeaways

• Bill Burr criticizes the use of taxpayer money for new NFL stadiums, pointing to the success of the Green Bay Packers at Lambau Field.
• The host discusses the impact of Taylor Swift's presence on Chiefs game broadcasts and her connection to Travis Kelce.
• Burr recounts a personal experience riding motorcycles with Freddie Spencer and learning trail braking techniques.
• He details his recent efforts to quit smoking weed and cigars to manage anxiety and health.
• The episode features a massive memory exercise where Burr lists numerous NFL quarterbacks from various teams.

Main topics

• New Orleans travel and food
• College football season and Lane Kiffin
• NFL stadium construction and funding

Notable quotes

You just fucking write a song about being happy.

Conclusion

A wide-ranging monologue that blends sports commentary with personal l

Transcript preview

Speaker 1 (0:00) Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast. So Monday, September 21st, 2026. Six. Six. What's going on, Hawaii? Oh my God, dude, there's like so much shit to talk about. I'm trying to knock this podcast out before the kids get up. It's 5.30 in the morning. In the morning, in the evening, doing a podcast. Speaker 1 (0:31) That was a fucking hit song back then. Speaker 2 (0:33) In the morning, in the evening, ain't we got fun? Speaker 1 (0:40) You just fucking write a song about being happy. Way before Pharrell did it, you know? Boy, he's a jolly good fellow. You just write happy shit about people. Ain't we got fun? What was another one? Yes, we have no bananas. Talking about, you know, whatever the fuck's going on at your fruit stand. We got kumquats and green beans and rutabagas. But yes, we got no bananas. And everybody's like, oh my God, that song. It's so fucking relatable. And then meanwhile, meanwhile, it's like, there's all like, there's horrible shit happening. Maybe that's why they did it. It was denial. You had a depression. Women were getting the shit kicked out of them because they wanted to vote. Speaker 1 (1:39) employees were getting the shit kicked out of them because they wanted a fair wage. That's kind of coming back, huh? If you notice that about protesting, it's like if you go to a protest now, it's like you're going to get a 90 % chance you're going to get the shit kicked out of you by somebody. They're going to stick somebody on your side to throw a brick or whatever at the cops. Speaker 1 (2:05) They do it to everybody now, even white people. They used to just do that to people who weren't white, who wanted, you know, the same opportunities as white people. You know, it's a pretty pedestrian ask. Anyway, I just got back from New Orleans and I've never understood the Klan and I understand the Klan even less. Speaker 1 (2:30) If you're in the Klan, just go to New Orleans. You know what I mean? I don't know. And if you can't fucking figure it out at that point, I don't know how to help you. Amazing people down there. Beautiful people. Analog people. Play at instruments. Food's incredible. Super friendly. I just, I could not have had a better time when I was down there. Every time I go down there, I forget how fucking amazing the goddamn food is. I can't find a salad to save your life, but I got to tell you, man, the fucking red rice and beans jambalaya po' boy sandwiches, my God. It was fantastic. Oh, Billy went off his diet a little bit. Went off his diet a little bit. I didn't make it over to the Willie Mays chicken spot, but I hit every other place and then found a couple coffee spots. Bon Ami was great. And then... Speaker 1 (3:33) Mammoth Coffee was fucking outstanding. And anyway, but let's talk. We got to talk football, man. We got to talk football. College football is slowly ramping up. College football, if you're a college football fan, like, my heart goes out to you. First of all, the season is basically two and a half months long. Starts roughly beginning of September and is done Thanksgiving weekend. But it may be last. It's like three months long. Speaker 1 (4:07) Okay, when you're probably thinking, well, you know, Bill, back in the day, the NFL football season was three months long. No, it wasn't. It was always four months long and then the playoffs. Talking about the regular season. But now, like, college football, it's like the first three weeks are bullshit. Speaker 1 (4:27) You know what I mean? At least they're smart enough now where they have like, you know, they have one real game each weekend because those first three weeks, like what the fuck am I watching? Alabama versus the Home Depot All-Stars. Before you turn it off, each one of these Home Depot employees played competitive college football at the community college Speaker 2 (4:50) level. Speaker 1 (4:53) Just pay these fucking teams like $10 million to come in and get the shit kicked out of them. I mean, I know there's like, you know, good games like that LSU, you miss game was fucking fantastic as much as LSU lost. Fucking Lane Kiffin. I like how he's going like, I like to be hated. He's finally like, I'm going to take control of this narrative. It's getting called a fucking whore. Speaker 2 (5:26) I love that that reporter called him a whore. But also, you know, at this point, you Speaker 1 (5:32) know what you're getting with Lane Kiffin, all right? You're dating a stripper, okay? The second there's more money somewhere else, he's moving on. Which, you know, I don't know. Is that a whore? I mean, that's how all those fucking reptiles go, well, this is how business is done. I mean, he's running out of teams to be on in the SEC. He fucking pissed off everybody in Tennessee. Speaker 1 (5:58) I mean, everybody in fucking Mississippi, or at least half of them. Who the fuck else was he? He was over at Alabama, now he's at LSU. I mean, this guy's like fucking, he's Speaker 2 (6:16) doing Sherman's March through the fucking SEC. I like Speaker 1 (6:22) being hated. Speaker 1 (6:25) That's one of the dumbest fucking things anybody ever says. You like being, you enjoy being hated. You enjoy fucking pissing people off. You enjoy making promises and going back on them and then everybody flipping out. And then you just go like, you know what? I like that you're upset with me. Speaker 2 (6:48) I would have gone another way and Speaker 1 (6:50) just be like, listen, man, I'm a bit of a wanderer. I don't know what to tell you. Do you ever used to watch the Hulk? Remember every episode, Bill Bixby would be walking away with his backpack and he'd be hitching a ride. I mean, I'm kind of like that. I'm like the coaching version of that. Anyways, getting back to college football. So you had like that game, which was fucking fantastic. He had the Vanderbilt game, which was amazing. But then like every other game, it was like Oregon won 89 to nothing. You know, I was fucking doing some prison workout shit in my hotel room and I got the Ohio State game on. They were up 59 to nothing at one point. And then the big thing is they gave up interception and Kent State comes roaring back to get a field goal. Final score, 59 to three. Fucking game was over in the first quarter. But now it's getting good, though. Now it's getting exciting. But, you know, I am happy the kids are getting paid. But they're getting paid now, so give them a fucking game. Give them a goddamn game. Can you imagine? I mean, I don't know what. That should be their next move. Because they got a playoff now. And as much as fucking people are going to keep whining every year if they don't make it, Ohio State. What do they got now? Like three rounds of playoffs or whatever? I mean, whatever, like six fucking teams, eight teams make it. I mean, I don't know what to tell you. That's about as good as it gets. The kids are getting paid. That's good. If they added, if those motherfuckers added, I think they're going to do it. If they just came out like week one, I know you got to save like the Alabama Auburns, the fucking USC, UCLA games for Thanksgiving weekend. And that's great that they do that. But I mean, come on. Now that you're going to have these super fucking conferences, can we do away with this three weeks of... You know, watching a Target open up across the street from a vintage clothing store. Or maybe it's the metaphor. Maybe they're trying to get us to wake up. I have no idea. I'll tell you what the other stupid thing is, is at the NFL level, which by the way, I mean, this has been my favorite football season in a long time. There's just been so many fucking great games. This bullshit about new football stadiums. Speaker 1 (9:21) is the biggest fucking crock of shit. New baseball stadiums, new hockey and basketball facilities at the pro level is all complete fucking bullshit. If we're going to compete, we have to have a facility that is updated. We have rats in the cellar and our workout room and they just made up all of this fucking bullshit. And look, if you're Robert Kraft and you fucking pay for it yourself, God bless you. All right? I don't have a problem with it. But to make taxpayers pay for this shit and say that, you know, if we don't have this fucking thing, we're not going to be able to compete and win a championship. The fucking Green Bay Packers have won four Super Bowls and 11 NFL titles playing in the same dump fucking Curly from the Three Stooges played in in the 1920s. Whatever the guy's name. Curly Lambeau. Speaker 1 (10:15) Not Curly Neal, not Curly Howard, Curly Lambeau. You know, and if you go over, like the Kansas City Chiefs, all right, they won four fucking Super Bowls at Arrowhead Stadium. They didn't need that brand new fucking thing. And the Buffalo Bills didn't win in their last one. Guess what? They're not winning in this one. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. I've just been seeing, like, the Buffalo Bills have a brand new stadium. The Kansas City Chiefs have a brand new stadium. Speaker 1 (10:52) That's kind of it. They're all other than Lambeau Field. The fucking Bears kind of have a resto mod where underneath is 100 years ago and on top is an abomination. And then he got the Superdome, which I think very quietly is one of the best stadiums in the NFL. But anyway, like everybody has a new stadium. Are the Jaguars still playing in that like? Speaker 1 (11:27) What is it? The Florida, who plays at Florida Gator, Georgia football stadium? That's the one that I went to. But we never needed to make all of these. And it's like fucking 100 degrees out. It's almost like October 1st. And we just keep fucking building shit. What was wrong with Arrowhead? Arrowhead was fucking incredible. It was one of the loudest stadiums in the NFL. Speaker 1 (11:54) I don't understand. And they build this big stupid thing. It kind of looks like Arrowhead. Except now you have all the dumbass luxury boxes and all of that shit. It's, I don't know. They should have paid for those fucking things. Speaker 1 (12:09) But anyway, the football season has been great. My New England Patriots looked fantastic. Our defense looked great. That Gonzalez kid is shutting everybody down. Drake Mays looking great. Got a little bit of a running game. You know, I was happy to get our first victory of the year. I saw the Kansas City Chiefs game. Speaker 1 (12:34) Patrick Mahomes and what's-his-face Daniel Jones going at it back and forth, went into overtime. Does Kansas City's run defense need a little work, or is the Colts' offensive line that good? There was a couple touchdowns. Jonathan Taylor, that guy just went in untouched. It looked like one of those, you know, when they have like a make-a-wish thing and, you know, the kid runs and everybody pretends to try to tackle him. It looked like that. Except it was a game. I don't know. The Colts, I don't know. I was impressed with the way that they played and I liked their coach too. And it was good to see Patrick. Look, Patrick Mahomes is back, which is fucking great for the NFL. And dude, the guy finally got, he finally got a good Speaker 2 (13:27) haircut. Speaker 2 (13:30) He's actually a handsome dude. He finally got rid of whatever that fucking Speaker 1 (13:34) Muppet haircut that he had. I'm sure it was cool when he was at Texas Tech in college having sort of the, you know, the weird college ID, but he kept it until he was almost 30. Speaker 1 (13:49) Then my favorite thing was when Travis Kelsey caught a touchdown and then they cut to Taylor Dane and she's fucking pointing at her wedding ring like, yeah, I married that motherfucker and Speaker 2 (14:00) was doing her celebration. My favorite part was at the last second when she does the little glance up. Was I Speaker 1 (14:05) on the jumbo Speaker 2 (14:06) chart? Speaker 1 (14:12) But they also, they didn't cut to her every time, which I thought was cool. But. Speaker 1 (14:20) They never showed Patrick Mahomes' wife once. Can you believe I'm talking about this? This is what it's like to watch a Chiefs game. And then I would think, you know, one of their wide receivers is like, well, how come they never show me? Is it because Speaker 2 (14:34) I'm not somebody's white wife? I mean, they're digging a hole for themselves out there. Pretty soon, they're going to have to show whoever the place kicker's banging. Anyway. Speaker 1 (14:50) But, you know, I was watching most of the game. I watched on the plane ride back from New Orleans. So I had like the sound down because I don't like using those fucking earbud things that they jam in your fucking ear, you know, on the plane. And it looked to me like the. Speaker 1 (15:12) The Chiefs had two good running backs, and then that number 10 guy was going off in like the fourth quarter. It was just like unstoppable. Then they kept cutting to the other dude, the other running back. There was like some sort of running back controversy, which I don't know. I don't know why they were trying to start that shit. They both look great to me. Speaker 1 (15:34) At one point, Daniel Jones was running out of bounds and he got hit at least once, if not twice, by two different players out of bounds and they didn't call a late hit. And the