Marissa Rubinetti After 90 Day Fiancé: The Marriage, the Baby Question & What Viewers Got Wrong

Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

Marissa Rubinetti, known from 90 Day Fiancé, discusses her life and marriage to Edward following their season finale. The episode explores t

Key takeaways

• Marissa transitioned from a VP role at David's Bridal to serving as COO of Kleinfeld Bridal.
• The K-1 visa process for Edward took approximately 15 months before he could move to the United States.

Main topics

• 90 Day Fiancé aftermath
• Marriage and childfree decisions

Notable quotes

The goal is to stay together unless... we have to do something about the baby situation.

Conclusion

A deep dive into the reality of life after fame, highlighting the huma

Transcript preview

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Before we get started, I wanted to let you in on a little secret. What you're about to hear is only part of the conversation. Every Speaker 4 (1:04) week, we keep talking over on Patreon, where you'll find exclusive bonus episodes, behind Speaker 3 (1:10) -the-scenes footage, after-show conversations with my guests, and personal stories from my life that I don't share anywhere else. If you love Misunderstood, Patreon is where you'll get the full experience. Just head on over to patreon.com slash misunderstood with Rachel. You could tell. or click the link in the show notes. I'd love to have you join us. Speaker 3 (1:33) They survived the 90 days, but can their marriage survive the next 18 years if one of them wants a child and the other doesn't? I'm sitting on stage thinking, like, maybe I should get off birth Speaker 4 (1:44) control. Speaker 3 (1:45) All season, we watched Marissa and Edward fight through an age gap, two very different cultures, a skeptical family, and Marissa's own doubts to finally make it down the aisle. But marriage didn't resolve the one question that could ultimately tear them apart. Edward wants to become a father. Marissa has already raised two sons and never planned to have another child. Now, in her first interview since the finale aired, Marissa is revealing what has happened since the cameras stopped and whether she and Edward still want the same future. Are you and Edward genuinely happy today? We Speaker 4 (2:18) are. And Speaker 3 (2:18) the goal is to stay together unless, I mean, we have to do something about the baby situation. Is there a world where you would ever say... IVF or surrogate. But I mean, are you really trying to make this work? I want Speaker 4 (2:32) so deeply to make him happy and give him the joy of having a child of his own. But... The Speaker 3 (2:40) finale told us how their season ended. Now, Marissa reveals what happened next. Speaker 3 (3:20) Marissa, thank you so much for joining me today on Misunderstood. It is so fun to meet you. It's so fun to meet you too. I'm so happy to be here. So, all right, big season that we just wrapped up. Before we get into everything that everyone wants to know, I just want to hear a little bit about you for the people that don't know you. So you were born and raised in the Bronx, raised by a single mother. I love all of that. Give me a little bit of your background before, you know, everyone knew you in the spotlight. Speaker 4 (3:50) Okay. So yeah, I'm a New Yorker, born and raised in the Bronx. I'm a single mom, as you said. I went to college in the Bronx as well. And I went to Fordham University. I started my career in corporate retail. Speaker 4 (4:08) Started off at David's Bridal as a very entry-level position. And I worked my way up the ladder. And eventually, after 20 years at David's Bridal, I decided to make a shift in my life. And I started working at Kleinfeld Bridal. So I was the COO of Kleinfeld Bridal. You might know that from Say Yes to the Dress, the famous show on TV about wedding dresses. That's where it's at Kleinfeld Bridal. You Speaker 3 (4:29) talked about being in bridal for so long and fashion. But I read somewhere that your mom ended up marrying somebody. Right? In that business. So did you get that job because of it or he was already in it and it was just totally random? Speaker 4 (4:42) Yeah, no, it wasn't random. My stepfather, his name is Bob Huth. When I was in college, he was the CEO of David's Bridal. And after I graduated, I wasn't really sure what path I was going to take. And he said, I think that you would really enjoy being in merchandising, being a buyer. So we're going to get you into the company. It was a very, back then it was a very entry-level position. I was an assistant buyer. which is very different than what assistant buyers do today. And I kind of learned the trade. But isn't that great Speaker 3 (5:12) that he saw something in you and gave you that opportunity? And I always say it's great to start from the bottom because then you know how everything works. But that's great that you had that relationship with him, that he saw that in you. Speaker 4 (5:25) Yeah. And I really appreciate that opportunity. A lot of people like to say, oh, her daddy got her the job. But you know what? The way you make it sometimes is you have to have somebody to get your foot in the door. And I had that opportunity. But since I got into the company, I built myself up to where I was, you know, towards the end of my retail career. Speaker 3 (5:43) So Speaker 4 (5:43) I worked at Davis Bridal for 20 years. So let me back up a little bit. When I graduated from school, I ended up moving to Pennsylvania. And then I started my job here at Davis Bridal, the corporate offices here in Pennsylvania. So worked for 20 years, worked my way up the ladder, became... an associate buyer, a regular buyer. I was the buyer of bridal. I would travel a lot internationally. And then I finally ended my tenure at David's Bridal as a VP of the dress division. So I oversaw all the buying for bridesmaids, dresses, mother of the bride, anything that was not a bridal gown is what I oversaw in terms of merchandising. So it came to a time, it was 2020, and I was exploring a lot. I did a little side gig and I was a bar instructor. And I really found a passion for women's health and fitness. And I had this idea that I knew I wanted to break away from David's Bridal, but I had this opportunity to maybe buy the studio that I was working in, I was instructing in. So I explored that a little bit. And at the same time, I was called from Kleinfeld. I got a recruiting call from Kleinfeld saying, hey, they're looking for a head merchant. Would you be interested? And funny enough, I was like, meh. I don't really want to go to work in New York. You know, I had settled in Pennsylvania at this point and I was kind of done with New York. And they said, well, just take the interview. You might feel differently after you take the interview. So took the interview and fell in love with the owners and fell in love with the whole concept of Kleinfeld. Went in for Discovery Day at the company and I knew that that was my home. So I ended up working at Kleinfeld. And I went in as the head merchant, but then... Within three months, I was promoted to the COO. So I was really leading the charge of the whole organization. And I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Speaker 4 (7:32) It just came to a time that living part-time in New York and living in Pennsylvania and splitting time with my kids and not being able to be there for their sporting events and all of their school activities, and then also bringing in a new partner in my life, I knew that I had to make some shifts in my life. So I had to leave Kleinfeld and then I re-explored the opportunity of buying bar studios. So I recently became an owner of... two bar studios here in Pennsylvania. It's a, or the company is called Bar 3 and it's a deep passion of mine. So that's where I'm at right now. Speaker 3 (8:05) I love that actually. And I love that class. I've taken that class forever. I mean, it has so many different names, but you know, gets you in shape really quickly. So I love that for you. So where in there did you meet? So Michael was your first husband, right? And you ended up having two children. Speaker 4 (8:20) Yeah. So I met Michael pretty early on when I was in Pennsylvania. I think I was 29 years old. So I guess I had been here for eight years already. And we fell in love pretty quickly. You know, we went, we met on match.com and. You know, it was a pretty quick relationship where we moved in with each other within three months. And then it took a little while to get married only because my sister had also gotten engaged. And since she's the older sister, I let her do her wedding first. And, you know, we weren't going to overlap. So we got married after three years of dating and we were married for six and a half years. In that six and a half years, we had our two sons, Derek and Cole, who are now 11 and just about 13. Speaker 3 (9:01) Okay. And I just have to ask you, because you are so into bridal couture, did you pay a lot of attention to the dress that you got married in that first time around? I mean, yes. Speaker 4 (9:16) Yes, I did. I actually had two dresses the first time around. I Speaker 3 (9:20) had. Speaker 4 (9:21) Yeah, I went bridal shopping. I knew that I didn't want to go to David's Bridal because that's where I work. So I went to a separate salon and I really wanted the full experience. Speaker 3 (9:28) Yeah, I Speaker 4 (9:29) wanted the full experience and I got a gorgeous gown. It was really, you know, I was very into the bridal trends at that point. So back then in 2012, it was very on trend. It was beautiful. It was lace layers and, you know, a beaded midriff. It was really pretty. And then. David's Bridal was working with Vera Wang at the time. And my mother and I were in New York for the day. And we said, oh, let's just go to Vera, the boutique on Madison Avenue and just have fun. Just let's try on some dresses. And she wanted to look for her mother or the bride dress. And I ended up getting a second dress because I fell in love with a second dress. Speaker 3 (10:04) Right. So amazing. Speaker 4 (10:06) So yeah. So yes, it was a moment. to select my wedding dress because I felt like everybody was expecting something really grand out of me. Speaker 3 (10:16) So you had two amazing boys, you're working as a career woman, or did you stop working at all when you were married? Speaker 4 (10:23) No, I worked right through. I only took a maternity leave of 12 weeks. Speaker 3 (10:27) Wow. Okay. So then, I mean, I obviously want to spool forward to where you were. At some point, the marriage breaks down and you decide to get a divorce. Just briefly, you know, because I want to know, we're going to talk later about co-parenting because we get into that. in the recent conversation, but how did that marriage end and what was the co-parenting like before you started dating other people in general? Speaker 4 (10:48) Our marriage was tumultuous. It was a very difficult marriage. It did not end on a great note. There was like an incident that happened on New Year's Eve going into 2019 and it was... Just it was a moment that I realized that the marriage was not for me and I decided to make the decision to end it. It was just not working out for me. So co-parenting was a little rocky at first. I mean, the kids were young. They didn't understand my mom and dad weren't living together anymore. And as the years progress, I think that my ex and I figured out a way to just co-parent. the best way that we knew how to. And we always put the kids first and try to stay in clear communication with one another. So it's Speaker 3 (11:32) been okay. So after getting divorced, I feel like I remember you saying that you never wanted to get married again. Did I, do I recall properly? Yes, you are 100 Speaker 4 (11:41) % right. I did not. I had one marriage and it just didn't, I just didn't feel like I needed to get married again. I was. open to dating. I was open to meeting people, but the actual commitment of marriage, I had no interest in. Right. So Speaker 3 (11:57) can you just talk about a little bit that time period in between meeting Edward? And I know there was like a, you know, a reunion kind of in meeting him, but, um, up until you met him, did you date often? Did you not date? Speaker 4 (12:10) Yeah, so I met Edward fairly soon after my divorce and it was 2019. I went on a girl's trip, Punta Cana. He was working in the hotel at the Hard Rock and he was working in the entertainment. We went to a karaoke bar. He was running the karaoke. We made eye contact and there was a spark. But nothing really came out of it because he was much younger than I think at the time he was like 24 or something like that. And I was 40. It was like. It was a big age difference. And I was interested. It was the first time after my marriage that I felt like a woman again. I felt alive. I felt noticed. And when somebody evokes that in you, you never really forget about them. So I went back home. We communicated a little bit for a couple of months. But at the end of the day, it wasn't going to work because I was fresh out of a marriage. I'm trying to redefine who I am and what my life is going to be looking like and just navigate through all the changes. And we lost touch. We lost touch for many years. So fast forward, everything would go through COVID, you know, all of the things, all the hotels in Punta Cana shut down. He lost his job. He's trying to rebuild his life. And are you Speaker 3 (13:23) like following each other on Instagram or something? So you see, okay. Speaker 4 (13:26) So no communication Speaker 3 (13:28) at all. Speaker 4 (13:29) Zero. And in fact, he had an ex that. you know, deleted all of his prior contacts in his phone. So he had no way of contacting me. He didn't know my last name. All he knew was I'm Marissa. And at that time I was in Pennsylvania, Marissa from Pennsylvania. And he said that he would look on Facebook all the time, but there's no way to find Marissa in Pennsylvania. So it was really challenging. I know. Speaker 4 (13:53) I always had his number saved. I never forgot about him. I just, he was always somebody that I was like, oh, I wonder how he is. You know, he was cute. Now let me remind you, Rachel, like when we were in Punta Cana, no kiss, no nothing. No, it wasn't a one night stand the first time we met. We didn't have any physical, maybe like a kiss on the cheek when I said goodbye. It was just like a Speaker 3 (14:11) flirtation or whatever. Speaker 4 (14:13) Yeah. Yeah. But nothing happened, but there was a definite spark. So fast forward to 2023, I book another trip with my girlfriends. to Punta Cana. And I said, I wonder if Edward is still around or what he's doing with his life. So I sent him a text and I basically was like, hola, it's, you know, it's Marissa. And, um, and he was like, oh my God. And he didn't, he didn't put the two together right away. So he FaceTimed me. And as soon as he faced me, he was like, oh my God, I can't believe that you are texting me right now because I've been looking for you for years. Speaker 1 (14:49) And Speaker 4 (14:49) I can't believe this moment that like you're actually in communication. I'm seeing you right now. And I was like, yeah, and I'm coming to Punta Cana. So he was really excited. And that was, we communicated in like March and the trip was in August. So when I went back to Punta Cana for the second time, we had our first date. And so Speaker 3 (15:11) leading up to that, did you realize like, oh, I'm going there to see this guy now? I mean, yeah. Yeah. I didn't have expectations. Speaker 4 (15:20) I was going on a girl's trip, but I knew that I definitely wanted to see him. I definitely wanted to reconnect. Speaker 3 (15:26) Okay. So was he working somewhere at this point? Speaker 4 (15:29) Yeah. He was working in a different hotel. He was a butler. He was a butler at a hotel. He was always been in the hotel industry. unless it was closed down