E243. Why won't my baby stop crying?
Midwife Pip® Podcast
Midwife Pip and parenting expert Heidi Skudder discuss the complexities of managing 'uncomfortable' babies, specifically addressing the limi
Key takeaways
- Labels like 'colic' often act as placeholders for symptoms like gas or wind rather than distinct medical conditions.
- Heidi Skudder proposes three pillars for assessing baby discomfort: feeding, sleep, and parental mental health.
Main topics
- Colic and Reflux Labels
- Holistic Baby Care
Notable quotes
Crying is communication, like four hours of whatever that purple crying theory is blows my and I don't have the language to tell you.
Conclusion
The episode encourages parents to look deeper than medical labels and
Transcript preview
Speaker 1 (0:00) There are a few things that can shake your confidence as a new parent, quite like having a baby who just will not settle. Speaker 2 (0:07) Crying is communication, like four hours of whatever that purple crying theory is blows my mind because crying is them trying to tell you something is up and I don't have the language to tell you, so I use my voice. Speaker 1 (0:21) The hours of crying, the back arching, the sick, the tiny legs pulling up towards their tummy, the evening spent pacing the house, googling symptoms and wondering what is normal. Speaker 2 (0:32) It's not just about the word, if you like, like putting a label on it. It's about really understanding why it's happening and what's going on underneath. Colic is one of my biggest bugbears as a word. And Speaker 1 (0:43) perhaps one of the hardest parts is that the answers can always feel really quite unclear. One person tells you it's colic, someone else tells you it's reflux, social media tells you to cut foods from your diet, change formula, try probiotics, see an osteopath, investigate allergies, and suddenly an already exhausted parent is carrying the additional weight of trying to diagnose their own baby. We Speaker 2 (1:06) know generally that our guts are kind of struggling more than they ever have, and obviously that will always pass down to our babies as well. Speaker 1 (1:14) So in this episode, I am joined by the wonderful Heidi Scudder to separate normal newborn behavior from symptoms that actually deserve a closer look and unpack what we actually mean when we talk about things like colic and reflux and explore what can genuinely help. Speaker 1 (1:34) So, Heidi, welcome to the podcast. It's so lovely to see your face again. Speaker 2 (1:39) Oh, thank you for having me. Nice to be back. Speaker 1 (1:42) Oh, it's so, so nice to chat. And when I kind of decided we were going to chat about the uncomfortable babies, the reflux and colic, you were naturally my go-to because, as you know, I've been there. Yeah, we've both been there. Speaker 2 (1:57) It's really, really hard, isn't it? Several times. Speaker 1 (2:00) So hard. It's so hard. And I think... We have to start at the beginning, don't we, with those labels themselves, because sometimes that's where half the trouble begins, I think. And we'll have heard parents saying, I think my baby's got colic or I think my baby's got reflux. What are your thoughts on these labels and kind of normal newborn behaviour and kind of what's going on when we start hearing these terms right at the beginning for families, Heidi? Speaker 2 (2:30) Yeah, it's interesting. So I think I think we are much more educated now just generally, aren't we? Let's be honest, we have access to social media, we have access to these terms, which we can put to what we're seeing in our babies. And it grows into parenting our older kids and all sorts of labels there. And we'll focus on the babies to start with. So the label of colic, the label of reflux, like what we're doing is we're putting a word to symptoms. But for me, it's not just about. the the word if you like like putting a label on it it's about really understanding why it's happening and what's going on underneath so colic is one of my biggest bugbears as a word just generally like if a client says to me my baby has colic or I actually just spoke to a lady just now who has a baby who's not sleeping 10 months and she said oh he had colic when he was younger and on reflection I'm not going to change that story for her because we're talking about the 10 month old but when I look at that I'm like okay that wouldn't have been what colic is just a word for crying right that would have been something that would have been air intake and therefore an uncomfortable baby with full of air who can't get the air up and is windy and gassy and uncomfortable so the the words are useful in a sense but i just would not stop with i've got a baby who has colic or i have a refluxy baby like what does that mean what does that look like and where is that coming from And especially with reflux, it's really, really easy because it's much more accessible now to go, I've got a refluxy baby. But I'm like, yes, and what? And so what? What does that mean? What does that look like? And how can we help that baby? Because my fear with the labels is we put them in boxes of colicky baby, refluxy baby, and then we kind of stop there. Speaker 1 (4:11) Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:11) And actually what we need to be doing is going, yes, I've got a reflux baby. And it's rubbish because I've been there three times and you've been there at least once, if not twice, I can't remember. with your eldest like it's so hard but we can also do lots about the colic and reflux so let's just not stop with the label does that make sense oh Speaker 1 (4:31) so much Heidi and I think also because we then have reflux or colic we maybe go to a well-meaning GP and then we start almost this like series of medication that we know the evidence for is really poor And so then it's like this, almost this constant false hope of let's try this thing. Let's try this thing. Knowing that the likelihood is most of those things probably aren't going to make much impact and the evidence supports that. But it stops us and distracts us, I think, from exploring what's underneath it because we kind of just fall into this tick box pathway, essentially. And Speaker 2 (5:09) this is the thing, I think if we can almost in a way parents can to a certain level. sort of self-diagnosed based on reels and whatever that they're seeing online. So they can go, okay, well, I can see my baby's got those five things. I think it's reflux. Then they go to the doctor, convinced it's reflux. Then the doctor obviously will either agree or disagree, but they do get them boxed into, like you said, this sort of medicalised route. And by the way, any baby who's uncomfortable struggling to feed should always be seen by a GP. Like that is paramount, definitely. At the same time, a lot of those behaviours that are associated with, for example, reflux can be managed in a different way. And it's not just the medical route. And I think this is where there's this whole thing at the moment, isn't there, about like, oh, unless you're a doctor, you shouldn't be talking about reflux. But then reflux isn't just a medical problem. It's a how long between feeds problem. It's a how do you keep your baby up right? It's a what does sleep look like for them? it's much more holistic than just it has to be dealt with by a doctor. And as you say, don't get me wrong, you know, my first was born almost nine years ago now. He was on medication for reflux because at the time, that is what you did. Whereas now, especially with my professional understanding with my third child, which is she was still three and a half years ago, she's certainly not a baby. I was very against using that with her because I understood the science and I understood. much more about what I could do as her mother to help her. Speaker 1 (6:41) My brand new book, Midwife Pip's Guide to a Positive Birth, is now available. So much more than a book, this is a guide that allows me to hold your hand through your birth preparation journey. With over a decade of experience and knowledge packed in to ensure you really are empowered in the way you deserve to achieve a positive birth, regardless of the twists and turns that crop up. Make sure that you get your hands on Midwife Pip's Guide to a Positive Birth Book now and are empowered to have the birth experience that you deserve. Yes, I love that. Absolutely. I totally agree. I totally agree. And I think when you say, you know, reflux is an issue for so many other holistic things. Also, it's a mental health issue. It's for, you know, mothers, partners, families, because it is. so so hard like my goodness I remember some of those nights and the only place my youngest would sleep was in the carrier on me and we're just pacing the house it's so hard Speaker 2 (7:46) it's just yeah I've got photos I was talking to a friend actually who's about to have her third and she was like oh will it have reflux like my others and I was trying to be really positive but at the same time honestly my experience with my third was like actually it was the last reflux of all of them and when you're in it and if I think about it I have so much knowledge and I know exactly what to do in the pathway and I did and by four months we were sort of seeing the wood from the trees and out of it slightly but when you're in it it's it's so hard and if you've got a second or third baby with it as well you know how hard it is from then so you've got that added layer of distress because you actually almost have a level of trauma or I don't know how to word it but this this feeling of like not me again, like not my baby again, why can't I have a papers that straightforward baby like others in my MCT or whatever class group, so I think there's you carry so much with it. And when I speak