What If You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just in Between? with Emmanuelle Chriqui

MeSsy with Christina Applegate & Jamie Lynn Sigler

In this episode of Messy, host Jamie Lynn Sigler sits down with actress Emmanuelle Chriqui to explore the emotional landscapes of grief, enduring friendship, and navigating a decades-long career in

Key takeaways

• Emmanuelle Chriqui lost her mother at age 16 while balancing high school, later processing her father's 2011 passing through therapy and a solo ayahuasca journey that reframed his suffering as witnessing grace.
• Chriqui describes taking a two-year sabbatical in her twenties before landing Snow Day, crediting a therapist who encouraged her to return to acting despite burnout.

Main topics

• Grief and parental loss
• Soul tribe friendships and adult connection

Notable quotes

"The gift that he left you is that you got to witness grace."

Conclusion

The episode offers a deeply humanizing look at how resilience, intentional friendship, and

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:00) Hi, I'm Christina Applegate. And I'm Jamie Lynn Sigler. And this is Messy. Speaker 2 (0:15) Hello, everybody, and welcome to Messy. I have, I'm just like smiling ear to ear already because I'm, you can't see her, but I'm looking at not only one of the most beautiful faces that has ever been created, but one of the most beautiful souls and hearts that I am so lucky to call one of my tribe sisters. She is a remarkable actress, a remarkable human. And just somebody that no matter how much time goes by, you just pick up. You don't need to play catch up. You just we find each other where we are at in life. And, you know, also one of those people that, you know, you meet in many different ways and at many different times. Like and finally it just clicked like, oh, this needs to just this is this is a friend that I know is meant for me. So please welcome to Messy, Emanuel Shrieky. Speaker 1 (1:14) Oh, Jame, I love you so much. I'm going to listen to that the next time I feel really low. I'll send you a voice Speaker 2 (1:22) note. I got you, girl. I got you. Hi, babe. It's so fun to be here. I mean, it's so long overdue, but I'm so glad that we're here. There's, you know, the timing is always perfect. And again, I just, you're just somebody that is so... Speaker 2 (1:40) gentle and wise. And I think one of the things that you have taught me as a friend that I have admired the skill that you have is you listen. Like when somebody's talking to you, you're so present with their words and what they're giving you with no judgment and such an open heart. And I really, I've learned that from you. I really have. And I've tried to emulate it and be be that friend that you are because it's just something that I've admired that you do so naturally and easily with people. Babe, thank you. Yeah. Speaker 1 (2:20) That's a beautiful compliment. It really is. I mean, I could do a laundry list of things you taught me. Where to begin. Speaker 1 (2:31) Well, we can get to that later. Speaker 2 (2:33) But one of the questions we always like to start here and messy and actually something that maybe I don't know a lot about is we like to ask, who was little Emmanuel? Like what what kind of music did she like? What was what was what made her light up? What did her shoes look like? Like Speaker 1 (2:49) who was little Emmanuel? Oh, my God. I love this question. Little Emmanuel was. First obsessed with Olivia Newton-John. Speaker 1 (3:03) posters all over the wall. Because of Grease? Because of Grease. I thought she was like just the most beautiful woman on the planet. And I think I just love the love story so much. And I just like, I just loved Olivia Newton-John. So then I went down that rabbit hole. And then it was like the Madonna obsession where I feel like she spoke to my soul. Like I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I wanted to dance and I wanted to sing and I wanted to be an actor and I Speaker 2 (3:49) wanted to live in New York and I wanted to be like, it was so ridiculous. Oh my God, that's so beautiful though. You were such a dreamer from a young age. I was Speaker 1 (3:59) always such a dreamer. And I had these like real idols, like always these like women idols that would be up on my wall. You know who else I was obsessed with? Like not musically, but Valerie Bertinelli. From one day to time. I Speaker 2 (4:13) love that. So weird. Very eclectic. It's almost like all these women, like, spoke to different parts of your personality and you could, like, express them through, like, your admiration of them. Yeah, exactly. So did you know at a young age you wanted to be a performer? Speaker 1 (4:31) Yeah, I really did. Yeah. Like, when I was – yeah, I really did. I was, like, that kid. Do you understand when I say to you, like, I got shyer with age. Yes. But as a kid, I was a total ham. Really? Yeah. Speaker 2 (4:49) Well, I mean, you're not shy, but you're like, I feel like we're similar. Like, we don't need to be the center of attention. We are very reserved. Like, we can have our moments and handle it, but... Yeah. Time and place. Correct. Speaker 1 (5:04) Yes. Wow. Speaker 2 (5:05) But when you were younger, you were like, Speaker 1 (5:07) hello. Speaker 1 (5:09) I'd go to, you know, I was like three or four and we would have like, you know, if we went to a wedding or a bar mitzvah or whatever, it like for sure at some point in the night, there would be like a circle around me and I'd be dancing for all the adults. It still happens. You are still our dancing queen now. I will say that. Speaker 2 (5:33) Oh, I love hearing that. That's so cute. Okay, so you had siblings growing up. Mm-hmm. Older brother, older sister. Older brother, older sister. So you were also, like me, the baby, which I think also, I mean, obviously it's not the only way, but it's kind of, it's like when you're the baby and the attention is on you, I feel like there's a bit of a, you can deal with the attention more. You're used to it, right? Totally. Like Speaker 1 (6:00) performing Speaker 2 (6:00) felt natural because I feel like I had to. always perform to like catch up and be with everybody. Yeah, exactly. And be noticed. Yeah. Speaker 1 (6:07) And be noticed. And like, you know, and I looked up to my sister so much and I wanted to emulate her. And so I figured the more that I could copy her, the more attention that I would get from her. Yeah, I Speaker 2 (6:19) would too, of course. So when did acting really start to become a thing for you? Speaker 1 (6:25) When I was seven years old, my, my. little friend in school. His father was the creative director at the Unionville Theater Company. And Unionville was just a little town that I lived outside of Toronto. And he said, do you want to audition for my dad's play? I was like, oh, yeah, cool. And it was the role of the baby ghost. And I remember my mom, bless her heart, she was still alive. And she helped me. like learn it and get my like stage voice. And then I auditioned and I got the part of the baby ghost. And it was like that first. Speaker 1 (7:08) theater experience, you know, where you feel part of the family and you're just, it's that like addiction. I was in like, you were part of something. Yes. And it was like hook, line and sinker. And it was just like at seven, my whole life just suddenly it was like, oh, this is what's happening. And I kind of never wavered. Speaker 2 (7:33) So you stayed in doing theater, and then when did you start auditioning Speaker 1 (7:37) professionally? Was it just sort of everything kind of naturally happened? There was an organic, like the super short is that in this small town when it was time for high school. Speaker 1 (7:50) There was a high school for the performing arts that was being built. Speaker 1 (7:58) I auditioned for the theater program and, Jame, it was do or die. Like, I had to get in. Speaker 2 (8:04) And Speaker 1 (8:05) I got in. And school was, you know, it was very much like fame. It was like every single day we had the, you know, theater arts and dance and blah, blah, blah. And then the second half of the day would be like academics. And then from that, you know, I got an agent and started doing like. bit parts in Toronto and then... Was Snow Day your big first thing? Speaker 1 (8:32) Snow Day was my big American first thing. Speaker 2 (8:35) Okay. Okay. Yeah. Speaker 1 (8:37) Because Speaker 2 (8:37) that's where you Speaker 1 (8:37) got on my Speaker 2 (8:38) radar. You know when you're – because there weren't like a hundred movies like there are now, right? Totally. Speaker 1 (8:44) And Speaker 2 (8:44) so like when a movie came out about – kids your age like yeah experience you Speaker 1 (8:51) knew Speaker 2 (8:51) about it and there was always the beautiful girl and you know it was like oh who's Speaker 1 (8:57) that girl Speaker 2 (8:58) oh my god that's where you came on I guess all us American radars for Speaker 1 (9:03) sure that is so fun and Jamie you want to hear like a really crazy thing about snow day what I'd actually Speaker 1 (9:11) I'd gone on a two-year sabbatical before Snow Day audition. I was like, I'm not cut out for this shit. I'm done. I can't do this. This business sucks. Everyone's mean. Speaker 2 (9:23) I'm out. And Speaker 1 (9:25) in that sabbatical, I was studying martial arts and I was seeing this therapist in Toronto who specifically worked with artists that were having like a difficult time. How old Speaker 2 (9:40) were you? Speaker 1 (9:41) I was in my 20s. Okay. I mean, I was 24. Speaker 2 (9:45) Well, Speaker 1 (9:46) you Speaker 2 (9:46) always look 20 years younger than when Speaker 1 (9:48) you are. Speaker 2 (9:50) James, you know how it is. No, it's just how you're made. Speaker 1 (9:53) Just accept it. You look 20 years younger than who you Speaker 2 (9:56) are. No. Speaker 1 (9:57) It's okay. Speaker 2 (9:58) It's okay. For sure, Speaker 1 (9:59) in your 20s, you could still play teens. For sure. Not. Yeah, but not. You could still play someone in their 20s. I can't. That's ridiculous. So I was at this therapist and, you know, I was just really telling her that I was done. And it was thanks to her at the end of our sessions. She said, you know, you might be really mad at me, but I don't think you're done. And I think you have to keep going. And so my first audition back was. Snow day. But you Speaker 2 (10:34) were, you know what? I imagine you were probably in a less kind of. look, we don't want to be this way, but I think I know I have for years had sort of this pick me energy, right? Or like, what do you need me to be in the room? And you were kind of almost like fresh and new and being like, all right, I'm going to try this again. I'm sure that that sort of, you know, energy around you was no mistake that you just. And also, I think the universe being like, yes, this is your path. Right. Let's thank you for coming back. Like a Speaker 1 (11:07) little sign. Yeah, that's right. Exactly. That's right. Speaker 2 (11:11) Yeah. It's so weird. I didn't realize that. All right. So you lost your mom. How old were you? 16? Speaker 1 (11:17) Mm hmm. How Speaker 2 (11:19) do you think experiencing that kind of loss at that age in particular has shaped you? Speaker 1 (11:30) And Speaker 2 (11:30) the way you live your life even today. Speaker 2 (11:37) Still Speaker 1 (11:37) can't talk about it without getting teary. But you know why? You know why? Because... Speaker 1 (11:45) I think that I've thought about this a lot because she was sick for so long. long, like so much of my formative years and like growing up, I spent so much time running away. Like I had very like two lives. There was like me in high school having high school experience and Speaker 2 (12:09) then Speaker 1 (12:10) me at home literally being a caretaker, being like my mom's nurse. And it was Very secretive, you know, a lot of people like didn't understand really what was going on at home or truly how sick she was. And. And I think just being a teenager, I spent so much time like getting through the task, you know, like get home, make dinner. Here are your pills. Okay, I'm out. And it was only like later that this is the part that chokes me is that like you go, fuck. I wish I could just get back like some of the time that I spent running away from it. Speaker 2 (13:00) Oh, but Em, you were so young. How could you have? You were. Speaker 2 (13:08) coping the way the only way you could in that time you didn't have Speaker 2 (13:15) perspective or life experience to know what was ahead or what to do. I mean, you were probably protecting yourself in very many ways that I cannot imagine what that was like. I, it breaks my heart to know that you have any regrets, but that's also so human. So, you know, yeah. Speaker 1 (13:37) And it's also. It's also just like a real deep curiosity, Jane.