She spent her Nan's Inheritance on WHAT?!

LuAnna: The Podcast

The hosts dive into a variety of listener-submitted stories, ranging from petty breakup reasons to scandalous personal confessions. They dis

Key takeaways

• A listener ended a relationship because her date wore a 'Smurf blue' leather jacket.
• One listener is debating whether to use credit card details found on a train after men stole M&S snacks.

Main topics

• Petty breakup reasons
• Listener dilemmas and ethics

Notable quotes

Don't confuse disability with slovenly.

Conclusion

An entertaining collection of chaotic anecdotes that highlight the hos

Transcript preview

Speaker 2 (0:02) This is a global production. Be Speaker 6 (0:04) warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content. But you know you love it. My nan left me a bit of money in her will and specifically said in a letter it was for something sensible to put towards a house deposit or my wedding or children or something. I used the whole lot on a... I lost most of it in one night. Speaker 5 (0:36) Oh, that was beautiful. It was like you were reading Jackanory. Speaker 6 (0:39) What's Jackanory? Speaker 5 (0:40) Tell a story. Yeah, Jackanory. Speaker 6 (0:42) Jackanory, tell a story. Speaker 5 (0:43) In the corner. Speaker 6 (0:44) I thought if you were Jackanory, it meant you were a liar. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Is it? I don't know. Anyway, what do we know? What we do know is that it's Thursday and this is Luanna, totally extra. I'm Louise Zisman. She's Anna Williamson. Anna Williamson. And every Thursday, we are bringing you extra. Those extra rants, extra chats, extra... Oh, Speaker 5 (1:09) squeaky mics. That was my squeaky Speaker 6 (1:09) microphone. Extra confessions. It's a WD-40 on that. extra you please do before we muff hunt into this episode I want you to do something for us Lou and Anna your favourite besties that you listen to every week we're just going to ask you to do one favour and that is to now press follow now in your top right hand corner and please do follow this podcast it really does make a huge difference to us and delivering you this pod every week because it means that we get noticed by more people basically the more subscribers we have so we really need more subscribers and then we can do Speaker 5 (1:41) even more Speaker 6 (1:42) And also do subscribe on YouTube. Thank you and good night. Thank Speaker 5 (1:46) you. Now, listen, speaking as well of it being an episode all about you, I just want to do a quick shout out, if that's okay. Because we have some massive fans and I've brought in some sweeties today. Are they Speaker 6 (1:58) in the Miss Simms and Bishop Stortford? They Speaker 5 (1:59) love us. I know. Heidi and Cherry. And Speaker 6 (2:02) I Speaker 5 (2:02) have one. Yes, Heidi and Cherry. You think they're going to make me shit myself? Probably. Full disclosure, I've... You've already eaten the sweets. I got them yesterday with the kids. So we go in. Did they give you that Speaker 6 (2:12) packet for us? Yeah. Speaker 5 (2:13) And then you opened it. Can I be really honest? Without me being Speaker 6 (2:16) present. Yeah, and Speaker 5 (2:17) the kids really told me off. So we go in every week. They've got Speaker 6 (2:20) more of a moral compass than you. They have. Compass. Speaker 5 (2:23) We go in. It's the most gorgeous, like, Aladdin's cave of sweets. And when I take the kids, we do drum lessons. We do, like, drum and nandos every week. And so they have a... a treat now. We go into the Mr. Sims to get sweeties. That's it. And then we have Nando's. Anyway, Heidi and Cherry are massively fanians. Oh my God, the Speaker 6 (2:42) red and white ones are so good. So good. Speaker 5 (2:44) And they insisted, they love you. They said, oh, Louisa comes in here sometimes. They're so nice to my kids. Anyway, they insisted on giving me a bag of sweets. And I said, no, no. I'll pay for them. They were like, no, we'd love to give you a bag of sweets. And I said, well, I'm going in to record tomorrow. Didn't they Speaker 6 (2:58) come to one of our shows or something? I think they did, Speaker 5 (3:00) yeah. But you know, the kids, so anyway, I was hungry yesterday because I'm on my period and that's when I want a week's sweet. Speaker 6 (3:05) These are Speaker 5 (3:05) really good Speaker 6 (3:05) sweets. I Speaker 5 (3:06) know. I'm going to go in there now. I've got to take some shoes back to next. Oh, well, there you go. So I went in, but then I started eating them. My kids, honestly, they're like, honestly. They're like, oh, mummy, I think Heidi and Cherry said they were for you and Lou. And I was like. Yeah, but I'm on a sweet now. No, it was both of them, actually. They were like, and then they kept saying this morning, make sure you say hello to Heidi and Cherry. This Speaker 6 (3:27) is a really Speaker 5 (3:27) good Speaker 6 (3:27) mix. This is the jelly, sugar-coated jelly and jelly sweet mix. It's Speaker 5 (3:32) a Speaker 6 (3:32) really good sweet mix. There's a lot of E numbers, but we love it. Girls, Speaker 5 (3:36) thank you. Appreciate it. Listen, and also, before we get into your messages, guys! The Troxy, Luanna the Big Party is literally in whiffing distance now. Whiff, whiff. Whiff, whiff. So if you are coming either to our matinee or our evening show, this is your klaxon to get your shout outs in. So if you're coming and you want us to say hello to you, keep it short and concise. We don't want paragraphs and epistles, but we do want your shout outs. So if you're coming with friends, on a table, in other seats, let us know. Get them in and put in the subject heading, The Big Party. Let us know if you're doing matinee or evening show. AM Speaker 6 (4:12) or PM. Your title needs to be AM Troxy Shoutout or PM Troxy Shoutout. Your shoutout should be no more than two lines. It's like... Hey, it's your sister-in-law Mary here with Cherry. Celebrating my divorce. Yeah. That's about as much as we need. That's it. Because what we do is we put all Speaker 5 (4:32) of those shout-outs at Speaker 6 (4:33) the top of the show. Mm-hmm. Speaker 5 (4:34) So, get them in now to the banner. Your Speaker 6 (4:36) chewing is far too loud. Speaker 5 (4:38) You can't hear me. I've got earphones on. Speaker 6 (4:40) I can hear it from here. Okay. Do the thing. Speaker 5 (4:44) I'm doing my goat eating. Speaker 6 (4:46) Can I just say? Speaker 6 (4:48) I've been eating sweets, like, for ages, and you have not heard it, have you? I Speaker 5 (4:52) think I've got an issue. It's so noisy. I just, I Speaker 6 (4:55) can't eat quietly. I couldn't date you. I couldn't date you. But you could shag me. No, I couldn't. Not if you ate like that in front of me. It'll put me, I don't know how Alex has sex with you. I don't know how Andrew has sex with me sometimes either. Well, they're Speaker 5 (5:07) just suffering, long suffering, and they have to now. Speaker 6 (5:10) But Speaker 5 (5:10) yeah. It's rank. She loves it. She fucking loves it, guys. She Speaker 6 (5:15) literally Speaker 5 (5:15) is. I mean, I do chew like a goat. I don't know. Why Speaker 6 (5:18) would you do that? I Speaker 5 (5:20) don't know. It's a disability. It's not Speaker 6 (5:22) a disability. It's slovenly. I'm Speaker 5 (5:23) going Speaker 6 (5:23) to Speaker 5 (5:23) get a badge. Don't Speaker 6 (5:25) confuse disability with slovenly. Speaker 5 (5:26) It's not. I mean, if you could say it. Speaker 6 (5:31) How do you say it? Slovenly. Slovenly. Slovenly, yeah. No, it's slovenly. No, it's Speaker 5 (5:36) slovenly. That sounds... Even Speaker 6 (5:39) saying slovenly like slovenly when it's slovenly sounds slovenly. It's not slovenly. It's slovenly. No, I'm not for it. Speaker 5 (5:47) Well, that's just basically what's in the dictionary, but that's okay. Speaker 6 (5:50) No, I'm looking it up. Speaker 5 (5:52) Look it up now. It's slovenly. No, Speaker 6 (5:54) it's slovenly. It's pronounced with the slov. Slov. Thank you. So slovenly, not slovenly. I have a master's in English. And yes, it means dirty, untidy, careless or habitually messy in appearance. Speaker 5 (6:11) But Speaker 6 (6:11) it's with a V, isn't it, Lou? You're right. Well, it's just typical, isn't it? Because actually, the pronunciation of